Chapter 7
Daisy’s POV
“1900’s were a different period, a different life even, than the one you live in. There is no doubt when I can tell you that it would be near impossible for one person of either generation to try to settle into other. There was a whole different types of clothing, mannerisms and sources of entertainment. There were no cars or modern electric trains. The air was cleaner, but not much, as coal was major source of energy for any work. Girls were supposed to behave in a ‘civilized’ way, which is snobbishly in modern terms while living under the harsh eye of society. There was a lot of backstabbing and gossiping and even one small slight was enough to ruin family reputation. The men on the other hand were supposed to work in clean socially favourable jobs in the day. Society didn’t care if these supposedly ‘gentlemen’ later into eve-teasing hooligans. It was a really sexist period. I always knew about all these things but I didn’t care. It often gave my father a bit of a headache with me but his position of power, as a wealthy merchant, helped him. We had many servants, including a stablehand, Mr Cullingham, and he had a son, my best friend Samuel.” A sharp intake of breath breaks me out of the reverie as I turn to stare at Nick who stares at me in shock with his face pale as death. I haven’t even begun and he is already shocked so severely. Poor kid. “Nick, our way of speaking was often different. We used words you folks wouldn’t. To help you understand though, I would just switch words, alright? Now…” I added with a sharp glance at him. “… don’t interrupt me.”
With that, the words that hung in the air around me consume me and I remember all those memories of the past, feeling myself go back in time to when I was alive and well. And then I begin to speak. But I hear no words. Because I live these memories that I haven’t revisited for so long even as I narrate them to Nick.
“Careful, Samuel!” I warn him before a startled yelp escapes my mouth as I stare at the eight year old stupid boy climb the exterior of the house with only his bare hands and almost slip to death. I mean, he didn’t even ask for help by anyone. Even I was smart enough to know he would need help. Stupid boys.
“Princess, if you disturb me one more time, I will jump willingly.” He warned me and I was tempted to push his buttons a little more. Knowing him, though, I knew he would jump just to spite me and considering that he was almost at attic level of the house, I doubted he would survive without something to cushion the fall. After seeing me quiet, he added just to make his point. “Now let me get the little bird from the roof that you wanted to save.” He put extra emphasis on ‘you’, pointing out how it was for me.
“Yeah, like it isn’t without a cost.” I mutter just loud enough for him to know I spoke but not understand the words. He turns his head sharply to glare at me and I send him a sweet smile. He shakes his head at my action. Good, he knows it is fake. The fake smile melts into real excitement as he finally reaches the bird at the roof. He mutters something at it, something I doubt is positive about me, as he carefully settles it on his right arm. And then he starts the even slower descent downwards.
There are moments when just when you think the dangerous act went well without an issue when something bad happens. In this case, it was the arrival of my nanny, Mrs Collins. “Ms McCain, it is time for your lessons now.” Her voice was nasal and Samuel often made fun of her. Those two didn’t get along ever. He spoke a word so crude that I stared up at him in shock. How did the Lord not strike him down right then? Mrs Collins noticed that my gaze was not on her anymore and continued as she walked towards me. ”Pray tell me, what are you staring at up there – Oh my! HELP!” She screamed as she saw him trying to climb down from the window sill of the first floor and he fell. I screamed as well when he fell on his side and I heard a sickening crack.
I imagined several grotesque scenes when he screamed in pain and none of them were helping me dispel the faint feeling I was having. Chef Mason and Mr Cullingham came running from the kitchens and the stables respectively as they heard us all screaming. Mr Cullingham spoke something in a low voice that I didn’t catch and immediately turned to help Samuel. Mr Mason turned to us and asked in a worried voice. “Are you two alright?” We responded with simple ‘yes’ before he escorted us inside the house.
“Daisy, wait!” Samuel called out and offered something with his right, and well, arm. The injured bird. I carefully took it from him and entered the house. I had a feeling there were a lot of things Mrs Collins wanted to say about Samuel but didn’t speak only out of respect to Mr Cullingham. Being an adult seemed to mean becoming cold and unfeeling towards others.
There would be severe reprimands later. There would be a treatment for his broken right arm. And the warning of being enlisted in the army later in the future would be raised for the first time. But I wouldn’t know about these until much later. That entire later, as Mrs Collins fruitlessly tried to teach this little four year old girl some manners of a hypocrite society, she only followed the motions while her mind whirled with the thoughts of the young stable boy who got injured while saving her bird only for a piece of pie. And it was the birth of our friendship. What I never knew until much later, was that it was also the birth of our unspoken love.
Seasons passed and we grew up. Our friendship strengthened as well and the entire staff knew about the friendship between the two of us. Not many people liked this but none told us off, only instructed us on how to carry things out in public so that father’s name won’t be stained in the society. From the way my friends behaved when we talked about the lower-class folk, there was always an ugly sneer on their faces. I knew they wouldn’t approve of my friendship and so I hid it from them too. It was one of the first lessons of life I learned: keeping secrets and lying to others. I never realized I was lying to myself as well about what he meant to me. And so began my double-life. One a social one, in which I behaved like a woman of my stature was supposed to behave, and the other a private one, in which I was true to myself and my friendship with Samuel. Often the two collided and Samuel understood when I chose my social life above my private life. But I also didn’t miss how he often looked hurt and determined and tried as much to stop the two from mixing as I could. But one can’t stop the cruel games fates play. And the two collided once again severely on the fourteenth birthday of my best friend Selena Gibson.
“Such a beautiful decoration, isn’t it Samuel? I would love to have one just like this for mine too.” I pointed out the wonderful flower decorations that were hung in a line along all the walls. The ballroom was decorated with clothes made of purple velvet and her mother seemed to have hired even a huge group of trained people to make it all feel authentic. Selena’s desire was to have a ball on her birthday and so I had dressed in a sapphire blue gown with beautiful embroidery in the lower half. On my arm was Samuel, dressed in a well-fitting tuxedo. It had been quite an effort to convince him to dress in one to accompany me and another one to teach him how to dance. Then it had taken me an hour to convince father and Mr Cullingham to agree to him taking me there. I had met Nathaniel Lorns, Selena’s betrothed, before and was uncomfortable to be there without a comforting presence. Still, I couldn’t help but wish that I would be able to keep an eye on Samuel to ensure our facade didn’t slip.
The lie about Samuel not being a servant but a son of a respected merchant was the main reason behind his ire and it was just. But he wasn’t willing to let me go alone after I confessed my intentions of wanting his company here. And now, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. “For you, princess.” He whispered in a low voice as we re-joined after I handed over my wrap to one who was attending the arriving guests. “I would have something much special than a simple ball. Because you deserve much more than this.” I giggled and whispered ‘charmer’ at him and he smiled. He was old enough to be married but for some reason, he wasn’t yet. Selfishly, I was glad that I had my friend to myself. With that grin and his behaviour, when he bothered to control himself, and his looks, he was one a lot of ladies, even tho
se who were vain because of their family wealth, would have wished to be wedded to. I was reminded of this fact when I saw several intrigued female heads turn as we passed them.
“Happy birthday, Selena.” I wished her when I found her and hugged her. As she smiled, her eyes turned to Samuel and I saw interest in her eyes. An unfamiliar but ugly feeling rose within me as I saw the look she gave him. It was one which made it clear that she would like to have him as hers. I was going to remind her of Nathaniel when Samuel responded. Taking her hand in his right, he placed a gentle kiss on the hand and wished her happy birthday with a compliment thrown in. I frowned at the rise of the sudden well-bred gentleman from the usually crude boy until he squeezed my hand with his left and I realized I was frowning.
“Selena, this is Samuel Cullingham, an old friend of mine. Samuel, this is Selena Templeton, my best friend.” That interest faded as the introductions ended and I noticed a strange stiffness in her posture. Giving us a smile that I knew was fake, she left us after telling us to enjoy and giving me a strange look. Then she hurried quickly to another group of people and began to talk with them but her stiff posture didn’t relax. I didn’t get to comment on this as Mrs Templeton arrived shortly after her daughter’s odd departure and the tedious business of socializing started all over again.
After she left, with an interested look in her eye about Samuel, he bent and asked me, “Does this friend of yours, Selena, know about me?” I nodded and his entire posture stiffened. “She recognized me.” He spoke slowly and the meaning suddenly set in. I had shared my secret with her and now we were in her party where she obviously didn’t like his presence. I felt my trust shatter in her as I remembered how she had casually remarked not caring about the social status but now she didn’t even seem to act like we existed here. I saw her talk to Mrs Templeton and Nathaniel and had a bad feeling about this. Mrs Templeton looked over at us at one point and her displeasure was clear on her face. Nathaniel’s look was much more disgusting though. He looked excited, and not in a good sense. “I will join you later. I don’t trust that ‘betrothed’ of hers.” He almost spat out that word like it was trash and I agreed with him.
Feeling sad about my decision to bring Samuel here, I mingled in the crowd, where all were fake and shallow. At least that’s what I thought until I ran into someone on the way to grab Samuel from a conversation with Nathaniel. I had a feeling that it wasn’t going to end well. “Pardon me.” We both spoke at the same time and I looked up to see at the boy who I had crashed with while I felt a hand go around me to keep me from falling.
He was a half a foot taller than me, even on my heels, I noted immediately, before realizing that his black eyes were on me with a serious expression. I felt my heart skip a step as this gentleman in front of me suddenly received all of my attention. His brown hair was a little mussed up, in contrast with his completely well-groomed appearance, and I couldn’t help but realize how good it looked on him. A moment later, or at least I think it was, those serious black eyes relaxed in an amused state as he asked me, “We aren’t statues, you know. You can try standing up.”
With a blush, which I never did, I realized that his arm was the only thing holding me from falling and I straightened myself. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” I apologized while hiding my eyes from his so he wouldn’t realize how sharply I was attracted to him. Though I suspected my rising blush wasn’t helping me. My mind went momentarily blank as I stared at him and realizing I was being rude, I introduced myself. “Hello, my name is Daisy McCain. I’m Selena’s friend.”
“I’m George Templeton, her cousin. It is a pleasure to meet you. You look absolutely gorgeous.” His voice was a little deeper than the rest of the folks and I have to admit it was attractive. He looked about my age but I hadn’t even heard about him before. Most likely seeing the confusion evident on my face, he continued, “This is my first visit to this town and Selena. I don’t think she even remembered me.” It was followed with a small chuckle. I blame temporary insanity for what came next.
“I would remember you.” I immediately responded and then covered my mouth with both of my hands as I realized what I just spoke. A blush graced my cheeks again as his eyes danced in amusement. “I- I meant that I won’t forget a family member.” I hastily corrected but it was already too late.
“So Ms McCain, is that man who escorted you here your betrothed? Isn’t he a little old for you?” He pointed out and my mind went blank as I tried to remember who brought me here. Thus I spoke the first thing that came to my mind.
“Oh no. I am not betrothed to anyone. He is just an acquaintance. I’m not interested in him.” I spoke before I realized two things. One was that this time Samuel had escorted me to this party instead of some random social acquaintance who would annoyingly try to win my heart and how I had just insulted him. Second realization was that he stood just behind me as I felt his entire body lock tight in shock. Before I could even turn, he left from behind me.
“I apologize for causing any trouble. It seems I hurt something between the two of you.” He spoke as he stared at retreating Samuel and my distressed expression and his apology sounded sincere. He was just about to continue when there was suddenly some screaming from behind me and I turned to see Samuel in a fist-fight with Nathaniel. As the two began to trade punches, they kept running into expensive pieces of decoration. It wasn’t the worse though. Nathaniel, emboldened by Samuel’s lack of control, now shouted his taunts so everyone could hear.
“You are a servant and you do not belong among us.” “Your kind deserves to be squashed.” “Does she know what kind of thoughts you have for her? The thought that would land you in jail.” “Even now, you resort to your uncivilized self. Once a servant, always a servant.”
Samuel wasn’t behind in taunting him either but he didn’t shout them out loud. Still from the gasps and shocked looks, it was obviously not good. It was humiliating as the other guests now talked openly about me and him. Tears filled my eyes as I saw Samuel ruin not only his tuxedo but also my father’s reputation with it. Someone cleared his throat from behind me and I realized that George was seeing this sight as well. Humiliation now began to turn into anger while he asked me, “Do you want me to break the fight up?”
“Yes please.” I snapped at him and I immediately felt bad. So I added in a soft voice. “Be safe.” And so he walked towards the two of them. I didn’t know about Nathaniel but Samuel was definitely going to have his ear bitten off with at least several weeks of punishment. I turned as a flash of pale brown caught my attention to see Selena walking over to me, her eyes full of tears and her anger clear on her face. The damage was already done but I tried. “Selena, I...”
“Will leave.” She finished and her voice shook with anger. “With that uncivilized lower class, you ‘will’ leave this place and me alone.” She stressed the word ‘will’ and then she sharply whispered to me. “How could you? How dare you bring a servant in my party? How dare you disrespect my family like that?” I opened my mouth to speak but she raised her hand to stop me and continued. “I can’t even look at you without feeling ashamed for ever calling you a friend. So just leave if you want none of this to affect our families’ business anymore.” She turned just in time for George to break the fight and I saw her take care for her betrothed while insulting Samuel even more. Feeling my anger surpass all control, I left the place as quickly as I could, without a glance backwards to see how others were reacting. With Mrs Templeton’s glare and Selena’s hateful looks, I had seen all I could bear. If I was being honest, I didn’t want to see what George thought of me.
That was the last time I was ever invited to a social function because of who I was. All future invitations were because of what I was. A rich father’s daughter. A noble’s daughter. The girl who people gossiped about behind her back. I forgave Samuel because he really was a close friend and though things weren’t back to normal, they were well enough.
Then one day, Samuel tried t
o punish me for some stupid prank by setting me on a panicked horse in fun. We both knew it wasn’t serious but to father, it was the last straw. He was enlisted in the army. It was the year 1913, just a few months short of the dawn of the Great War, as we called the First World War then. I was heartbroken at the loss and lashed out at everyone. A part of me knew though that the real reason I lashed out was because I didn’t stop my father. I didn’t try to save him. And he knew this. The lie that held our friendship together broke as I accepted that I acted selfishly because I was still angry at him for the Selena’s birthday incident. We never talked again. By lashing out, I punished myself.
When Samuel left, I closed myself from the society, mourning the death of our friendship in isolation. But there was one man who was still interested in me. It was six months later, in April of 1914, when George came at the entrance of my house, to ask my father for a chance to take me to dinner. I was there. My father didn’t want me to go as he knew that I might offend him as well. But George insisted. It was on the third date, as we later called it, that I finally lowered my guard enough to try letting him in again.
“Why do you seek my company again and again even when I am not the best company you could have?” I asked him as we strolled through the park. By some luck, we were on a deserted section of the park with enough trees to hide us from the sight of any who might be watching.
“Because I know that you are good company, even though you don’t believe so about yourself. I remember that girl from the party. The amusing, beautiful person who was so full of life that she couldn’t bear to hurt anyone.” I doubted he was sane if he somehow thought that of me. I told him that. My isolation had stripped all layer of social etiquette out of me. He, not taking offense as usual, had laughed and responded. “Some things you know just by paying attention, not by words. You clearly mourn your loss of friendship with the boy, as your father reluctantly shared with me yesterday. Trust me, if even a little of what your father told me is true about the two of you, he forgave you a long time ago.” The words were like an unstoppable weapon and all my guards fell apart at his attack.
I spent the rest of that date crying in his arms. He didn’t mind this, telling me that I hadn’t mourned another man in his arms. I had mourned for what I had become because of what others spoke and was now pure again. He consoled me that one day I would heal enough to try to restore our bond. And I knew that the attraction that held me to him was now love. My father was concerned, to say the least, when we returned and he saw my tear-stained face but I felt reborn. I had hope for a better future now. But the most important thing was that I now felt pure. Knowing Samuel would want me to be happy, I decided to try to get that happiness and began trying to build a life for me with George.
Almost three years later, once we were old enough to be married, he asked for my hand in marriage from my father. It was the happiest day of my life and I only mourned that I couldn’t share it with my best friend. But it was too late for reconciliation. We had left the ties broken for too long. Now, there was no hope left. The Templetons welcomed me back in their life with some reservations. Selena was married with Nathaniel and told us that she was content. But I often caught looks of misery on her. Perhaps, Samuel had been right all those years ago when he apologized to me that Nathaniel wasn’t a good person. I wished to intervene but I had no right to. So I joined the rest of the Templetons in their unspoken suffering.
Then came the ill-fated night of my wedding eve. The bride and the groom do not see their faces before the wedding once the last night begins. Selena, along with her friends, stayed at my house to make sure of that. I didn’t want any bad luck so I wasn’t going to anyway but to please them, I agreed to have them. When I slept that night, I didn’t realize that hatred can grow over time with the help of those who nurture it. I didn’t know that it can transform into a different form. One that made the person fear the future. To make them fear the future so much that they would do anything to avoid it. Even kill a girl on her wedding eve in her sleep.”
I hear a gasp and it shocks me out of my reverie. After several moments of staring at the ruined parlour around me, I remember where I really am, and stare at Nick, whose face is stricken. I take a long moment to control myself before I speak once again with my voice reprimanding.
“I told you not to interrupt me, Nick Demming Peters.”