And it would destroy everything.
“Reagan,” Hendrix warned.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” I confessed in a shaky voice just above a whisper. They waited in silent anticipation for the truth I’d been hiding for almost two weeks. And they were not happy with me. Not one of them.
But I was honest, despite my fears and despite my misgivings. I told them about the knife and the note from Kane; I told them about how it had been left on my bed and how I’d hidden it in a poor attempt to pretend like it never happened. I told them what Page said about the man by the door and how I’d tried to chase after him.
The last part was what set Hendrix off the most. What if Kane had been waiting for me? What if Kane had planned to lure me outside?
I hadn’t thought of all that…
But the decision was made. We would all go with Tyler in a few days. We would check on Miller, and we would find Kane and confirm if he were alive or if he were dead.
But we all knew the answer already.
Kane was alive.
And Kane was still after me.
Chapter Three
A few days later and several miles across the Arkansas/Oklahoma border, we were abandoning the Suburban on a side road, behind a dilapidated barn that was barely standing. Our scouting party was huge for this kind of mission, but nobody had wanted to stay behind.
Gage, Tyler, Nelson, Haley, Vaughan, Hendrix and me all stood around the Suburban, checking our weapons and ammo supplies. Harrison and King had not been happy about being left behind, and Page had been royally pissed that we were all leaving together.
I didn’t blame her.
In fact, it was risky, and we were pretty stupid to all be here together.
Still, curiosity and confusion had sat heavily with all of us over the last few days, and nobody had been able to give up the chance to see this for themselves.
We had quite a walk before we were even close to the Colony and so we quietly set out. Not wanting to risk Feeders at night, we’d started from the compound at dawn. It was now midmorning, and we could be easily spotted by any of Matthias’s men, but we hoped to stay out of range. We were just looking; we weren’t going to engage and we sure as hell weren’t going after Miller today.
Although we would sometime in the near future.
We just had to figure out about a million different things first.
We were silent the entire walk toward the Colony. Our guns were ready at our sides and our bodies tensed for any sign of aggressive movement. We counted on Matthias to keep the forest that surrounded his small township cleared of most of the Feeders, but you could honestly never tell. They were everywhere.
Closer to the Colony- thank God Tyler and Gage knew these parts so well- we split up into groups of three and four. Hendrix and I took Tyler and Vaughan while Nelson and Haley took Gage.
It was even less ideal to split up now, but we didn’t have a choice. With Tyler and Gage going in separate groups, at least each team had an area-expert with them, but the Parkers- and I had to agree with them- hated any time they were forced to leave each other
There was no way to tell these days if you would ever find each other again.
Gage, Nelson and Haley were taking the front of the town, by the “registration” desk in which they stripped newcomers naked in the middle of the street. Hendrix, Tyler, Vaughan and I were going in the opposite direction toward the school.
We would have a better view of the main part of town since there was nothing but the edge of the forest surrounding the high school, while Nelson and company would be impaired by the cutesy, manipulatively-idyllic neighborhoods and simple distance from the main street.
In all our previous scouting missions, there had only been a few of us at a time, and we would get close enough to see Miller and then leave. Tyler hated that we were so quick about our visits, but there wasn’t much option. Matthias had teams of men patrolling these woods. We’d run into more than enough before, and we didn’t ever want to be stuck in that situation again.
“How are you doing?” Hendrix whispered as we tried to keep our footsteps as light as possible through the leaf-covered forest floor.
“I’m fine,” I told him, trying to shrug to prove my point but that only caused me to grimace in pain. In fact, I was not getting better. I was getting much worse. My arm felt heavy and useless at my side, and the open gash still occasionally bled . Tyler had wrapped it extra tight today, but pain seared through me and my stomach felt constantly nauseated by the incessant throbbing. I wondered if it was infected, but didn’t know what to do about that. Tyler had been putting Neosporin on it, and that was the only antibiotic cream we had, or she knew how to use.
Hendrix frowned at me, not believing my pathetic lie. “Stay close to me, yeah?”
I bumped his arm with my good arm. “Yeah.”
We continued the rest of the way in silence.
That was the most he had spoken to me since I confessed about the knife. He had been furious with me.
I thought back to the last real conversation we had. Hendrix had waited until everything was discussed and settled with Vaughan before asking if I was finished with my lunch. He helped me back to my room and walked me to my backpack.
“Show it to me,” he’d demanded.
I felt the first real stirrings of fear as his harsh voice grated against my heart. I knew he was pissed, and I knew I had messed up. Seeing no point in prolonging this further, I pulled the t-shirt-wrapped-knife out of my pack and handed it over to him.
His hands had clenched so tightly around the covered blade, I worried he would slice right through them.
“Why did you keep this from me?” His blue eyes pierced my confidence and I felt unbelievable regret.
And if I was honest… fear. He was so mad at me I was afraid he was going to end things with me. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how much worse that was- that ending my relationship with Hendrix would be way worse than facing Kane.
That had only made me feel worse.
My bottom lip trembled in an annoyingly-feminine way and I whispered, “Hendrix, I was afraid.”
He growled out a curse word and tore his eyes from me. He seemed to want to look at anything else in the room except me. “You were afraid and your first instinct was to hide it from me?” I opened my mouth to speak, but he glared at me until I closed it again. “Reagan, I don’t even know where to begin. After all we’ve been through, after all we’ve gotten out of… you were most afraid to tell me that Kane was still alive and threatening you?”
“I didn’t want to drag you into this!”
“I’m already in it!” His words were clipped and resonating. I knew he was right. I knew he had every right to be mad at me. I didn’t even know why I stayed silent for so long or why I felt like I could tell Gage but not Hendrix. But there it was, and now I didn’t know how to fix this. “The only thing you’ve accomplished by not telling me about this sooner is put me in danger, my family in more danger and yourself in a very vulnerable situation.” He ran his hands through his hair and over his face as if he couldn’t believe we were even having this discussion.
My heart squeezed in my chest, and my eyes watered. I hated myself at that moment. I hadn’t thought any of this through. I’d been so selfish with my fear and confusion that I hadn’t even contemplated how my actions and silent decision could affect anyone else.
“Hendrix, I’m sorry,” I pleaded.
He glanced down at me. “Me, too,” was all he said and turned to walk away.
“Wait!” I called after him. “You can’t leave right now.” My insecurity- insecurities I didn’t even know I had- got the better of me and my voice cracked when I asked, “Don’t you want to talk through this?”
He stopped in the middle of the storage bay and turned sideways so that he wasn’t quite looking at me. His eyes had felt like spears earlier, but now I missed their focus, their white heat, their acknowledgment tha
t I was still something he wanted to see.
“I can’t talk to you right now, Reagan.” He sounded so infinitely sad that I’d started to cry before I realized it. “I need some time.”
And then he left.
I collapsed back on my mattress and let the emotion and turmoil leak out my eyes. Needed some time for what? And for how long? Was he done with me? Did he just need to cool off?
Why did this hurt so bad?
And things still weren’t better between us.
I came out of my depressing reverie once we were close enough to the edge of the forest that we could make out the football field and brick school building. We all stopped without making a single sound and Vaughan pulled out binoculars. He had a pair that I swear were military grade. They had all kinds of fancy buttons and could see from insane distances. They were one of the treasures we’d found in storage months ago.
He adjusted the settings and surveyed the town. Eventually, he passed the binoculars to Tyler and let her look. Her body language said everything for her. She became rigid with fury, her knuckles whitened as they gripped the binoculars in her hand and her face paled significantly.
“They still have him out there.” Tyler was shaking when she handed the binoculars off to me.
I held them to my eyes and waited a moment for the images in front of me to make sense. When they finally did, I gasped in shame and hatred.
Miller sat in front of the school building with his hands cuffed around the empty flagpole. He was shirtless and badly beaten. His back was bleeding still and his face completely blue with bruises. He sat cross-legged on the ground with his arms behind him. His head drooped and occasionally lolled to the side.
He looked horrible.
My stomach churned and I felt my breakfast reemerging. I swallowed down the nausea and leaned against Tyler before I handed the binoculars off. “Tyler,” I whisper-cried.
“We have to get him,” she sniffled. “I can’t leave him like that. He’s going to die.”
“If Matthias wanted Miller dead, he would have killed him by now,” Vaughan reasoned.
Hendrix took in the sight of Miller with a curse. “Tyler’s right. We have to get him out of there. We cannot let Matthias break him.” We all stared at Miller; even though Hendrix was the only one who could really make out anything clearly. Tyler cried quietly next to me and I put my good arm around her. My gun hung limply from my dead arm.
“Son of a bitch,” Hendrix growled after a few minutes.
I perked up immediately when I saw a figure approach Miller. From this distance, I couldn’t make him out perfectly, but I knew him well enough to see that it was Kane.
Even from this distance, I could see his dark hair cropped closely to his head and his impressive back covered by a loose t-shirt. He squatted down in front of Miller with what appeared to be a plate of food. He bobbed Miller’s head up and down with a finger under his chin and seemed to be trying to feed his little brother.
“Let me see,” I demanded from Hendrix.
He did not give me the binoculars. “No,” he told me.
“Hendrix, let me see.”
He reluctantly handed over the binoculars.
I held them to my face and waited through the agonizing seconds until I could fully take in Kane’s features.
Well, he officially wasn’t dead.
Bastard.
He actually looked good for having been stabbed recently. His skin was tanned and taut over sculpted muscles. He was a little more unkempt than I remembered but definitely healthy. His glasses were firmly in place, and his body didn’t seem to have any side effects from the several wounds I’d left him with.
I watched him feed his brother with care and persistence. He waited patiently- or seemed to- until Miller got most of the meal down and then he wiped his brother’s face and checked his wounds. He applied some kind of salve and bandaged the ones that looked especially raw.
At another time in my life, I would have appreciated the concern Kane showed for Miller and the gentleness in which he cared for him.
But I was beyond those weak emotions by now. Plus, I’d been on enough of these scouting missions to know that Miller always looked the same. He was always in that same spot and he was always bloodied, bruised and broken.
Kane might be taking care of him now but it was only so Matthias could repeat the process tomorrow.
If anything, Kane was healing him just so he could torture him again later.
I eyed the salve though. If it could cure Miller’s wounds, what could it do for mine?
No, those were dangerous thoughts. The only thing we would be stealing from the Colony was Miller.
A lone branch cracked from behind and the four of us moved into motion before another second ticked by. We whirled around with guns raised and safeties effectively off. My gun and binoculars were in the opposite hands they should be, but I held my weapon steady, refusing to show any weakness.
Three of Matthias’s men faced us, with their guns aimed our direction and malevolent smiles flickering across their faces.
“Well, well, well,” one of them said. He was a young guy with acne scars and dead eyes that promised terrible things. “Y’all get lost?”
“Something like that,” Vaughan drawled.
All at once the three of them seemed to center on Tyler and recognize her in the same moment. It was like a giant light bulb flashed over their bulbous heads. Once they noticed Tyler, it was only a few more moments before they realized who the rest of us were.
Great.
Luckily, we had a protocol to follow for situations like this- and by protocol, I meant panicked routine for defeating our enemies.
Vaughan and Hendrix went for the two men on the outsides at the same time Tyler and I flew at the guy in the middle.
Both Hendrix and Vaughan had all these fancy moves that were clearly from their military-training-like-childhood and their Army Ranger father. They were precise, calculating and effective.
Tyler and I were the opposite of all those things.
We attacked the man with a brutality that you would not believe unless you saw it happen in front of you. Hendrix and Vaughan were trained killers. Tyler and I were rabid, wild animals that fought dirty and had no respect for our enemy or the art of fighting.
I dropped the binoculars and launched myself at the man; attaching myself to him with terrified-cat-like-finesse, claws extended and everything. I knocked his gun hand upward and Tyler flew at him like an angry mongoose. She scratched at his already scarred face and pulled his hair. He was almost too stunned to react at all.
Tyler was the Zombie-Apocalypse version of Rikki Tikki Tavi- another gem of a reference lost with the downfall of civilization. Damn you, Zombies.
While Tyler went after his face, I wrestled the weapon from his hand. I thought he would put up more of a fight than that, but Tyler bumped him off balance and he fell back on his butt. Vaughan subdued his guy and then punched him in the face fast enough, hard enough and thoroughly enough to knock him out. Then Vaughan jumped up in time to kick our guy in the head with a haunting crunching sound I would never be able to un-hear. It would have been a super impressive take down if the guy hadn’t managed to get two fingers between his lips and let out a screeching whistle of warning seconds before Vaughan’s boot connected with his temple.
And then we were off.
Hendrix’s guy had fallen unconscious somehow in the struggle and so there wasn’t anyone left to immediately follow us or put up more of a fight.
We raced as fast as we could in the direction of the Suburban, hoping we had enough of a head start to outrun anyone. An alarm of sorts could be heard ringing out behind us and I hoped that was enough of a message to abort for Nelson and Haley.
They would have to meet back up with us at the van, but if we were being pursued there was no way to wait for them.
This had been a terrible idea.
My ankle throbbed as I sprinted as fast as my inj
ured body would take me. My shoulder felt as though someone was pounding a sledgehammer into at the same time a saw worked back and forth across the bone. I gritted my teeth and tried to keep up with everyone, but with only one arm working to push me forward, I fell behind.
Hendrix glanced back at me and reached out his hand. I gladly took it with my good arm and let him propel me forward with some momentum. Even when I finally ran next to him, he didn’t let go of me. He kept me close to his side and firmly tucked into the shield of his body.
My heart relaxed a little for the first time in days, despite the frantic run for our lives.
Sure, it wasn’t exactly making up, but I felt a little bit of hope that he wanted me to stay alive.
We had a long way to go and a thunderous crashing could be heard behind us. The forest sounded like it was being trampled by a herd of elephants. The fast but heavy footsteps battered against the leaf-covered earth with resounding intention.
They were coming for us.
And I had no doubt that if one of them caught us in their sights, they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot us.
Hendrix pulled me along. I ignored the burning in my lungs and the stinging in my shoulder that brought me close to tears. I pushed everything that would not help me get to the Suburban down- way, way down. If I couldn’t use it, I didn’t need it. I focused on the goal and life, survival and the family we’d left behind and I endured the agony.
We had maybe two miles left to go when they appeared in front of us- as if from nowhere. Zombies- hungry, red-eyed and deadly.
They lumbered toward us, expanding apart like the first line of a military attack. Their decaying bodies weaved in and out of the heavy cluster of trees. The stench of their rotting skin and bones drifted through the air and turned the crisp autumn day into a fire and brimstone apocalyptic one that revealed the true nature of this end of the world.
Tyler stumbled to a stop and Vaughan drew his weapon, pointing it at the mass of undead on the offense. Hendrix yanked me into the protection of his body. His fingers ghosted over my hurt shoulder and came away painted with my blood.