“I can’t argue with that,” Gage commented dryly. “Seriously, Reagan, why is it that you always come back here looking like this?”
“That’s not true! Sometimes I look like this without even leaving this place!”
The boys tried to muffle their laughter but it was no use.
I crossed my arms and slammed my back against my chair. It was a really stupid move and my skull seemed to bounce back and forth inside my head from the rattling impact. But I used all my willpower and refused to ask for Gage’s trash can so I could dry heave. I would not let them see me dry heave.
Anymore.
For at least the rest of the night.
“How much head trauma can one girl sustain, though?” Gage’s gaze flashed to concern in the candlelight.
Even though I had been wondering the same thing, I shrugged. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m alive, right? That’s the most important thing.”
He didn’t look convinced. Instead, he said, “Do you know that the majority of people living here haven’t even had one concussion? Let alone two at one time.”
“Three,” I corrected. When he quirked a brow, I explained, “I think it might be three this time. It’s a new record for me.” Although, I didn’t really know. Were concussions counted like that? Or did it all blend into one giant concussion? There were three sides of my head that happened to be screaming at me right now, so for their benefit I decided to give them each their own concussion points.
Concussion had stopped sounding like a real word.
“That’s what I mean!” Gage sounded exasperated. “Stop hitting your head! Be more like the people who have never had an injury. Even in this circle of hell, it is possible to go without serious head trauma.”
“But are those people really living?” I tapped a finger gently across my lips.
“What?” Gage looked to Hendrix for help.
“You know are they really living? Sure they’re existing in their everyday lives, but are they really experiencing it?”
Gage threw his hands in the air and Vaughan let out a bark of laughter.
“She has a point,” Hendrix defended me although he sounded entirely too amused. “I think,” he qualified.
“I think she needs to go to bed,” Gage sighed. He sobered immediately and turned back to the boys. “What else do I need to know? How bad do you think this will get for us?”
“Bad,” Vaughan said immediately. “If they can resist their bloodlust and organize, this will turn out badly for us.”
Gage thought about that for a long time before saying, “We’re going to need to think of an alternative plan to staying here then. We won’t exactly be able to move two hundred and fifty people easily, but I’m not going to let them massacre us where we sleep either. We need to start exploring other possibilities.”
Hendrix nodded and added, “The wall will help for a while. But we might have to think of other ways to do laundry and bath. Our food supply is dwindling, too. We’re not in danger yet, but we’re going to have to go out for supplies soon.”
“The radius will have to be larger,” Vaughan reminded us. “I think we have to assume that Matthias Allen has corrupted any place he thinks we will go. We’ll have to take longer trips. Maybe make them overnighters.”
“Goddamn,” Gage growled into his hands.
“Look on the bright side,” I offered cheerfully. “No matter how smart they are, they kill the same way. This is not impossible, it’s just hard. This is not the end of us; it’s just a fork in the road. We’re survivor’s, boys. We’ve lived this long. And we will continue to keep living. Zombies suck. Matthias Allen is a complete and utter douchebag. But we are good people. And this world needs good people. We fight to end this. We fight to stay alive. And we don’t give up, because if we give up, then nothing will be left in this world but darkness. We fight because we are light. Maybe the only light that remains.”
I felt all of their eyes on me as I shrunk back in my chair. I hadn’t meant to go Baptist-preacher on them. But I was right. Those things were true. Hendrix’s tender hands massaged my shoulders, and I knew that at least he felt the same way and supported my opinion.
Vaughan caught my eye and winked at me. Good, he felt that way, too.
Gage let out a shaky chuckle. “Damn, Reagan, I take back my concern.” He cracked a crooked smile at me and shook his head as if I were some kind of mystery. “The real question though, is whether all this philosophizing comes from the near-death experience or the concussion?”
“Probably a little of both,” I laughed. And then winced. And then cut my eyes to the trashcan on the side of Gage’s desk.
“Let’s get you to Tyler,” Hendrix instructed in my ear. “She can bandage you up and I’ll get you to bed.” His fingers trailed along the nape of my neck and I shivered at his promising touch.
“Yeah, go get some rest,” Gage agreed. “Y’all come find me tomorrow after you’re recovered. We’ll talk more, then.”
“Will do,” Vaughan told him.
Hendrix swung me up into his arms again, even though I tried to insist that I could walk. I didn’t really think that I could, actually, but it was almost like my brain couldn’t help but argue.
Completely ignoring my protests, he smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.
He was lucky he was so charming.
Or I was… It was hard to make sense right now.
We climbed the stairs to our wing of the facility. All of us were exhausted. My eyes kept fluttering closed and I would have to fight with everything that was left in me to keep them open. I knew I needed to stay awake at least long enough to have my head washed and bandaged. And a bath sounded amazing since I was covered in dirt, blood and Zombie, especially if it meant just Hendrix and me in our private room.
That was worth staying awake for.
Stay awake, Reagan!
Vaughan pulled back the curtain to the girl’s unit and we all stumbled inside. One candle had been left burning inside a five gallon, metal bucket for safety. Vaughan found the other candles set nearby and lit one for us with an easy strike of a match.
Once there was a little more light, he ambled over to Page and knelt down so he could brush her wild, sleep-tangled hair out of her face. She subconsciously leaned into his touch while the yellow light shone down on her pretty face. My heart thumped in my chest at the sweetness of that moment.
This is who Vaughan asked me to stay for. This little girl that needed so much care and even more love. She was set apart from this ugly world; kept beautiful even though everything around her was dark and twisted. She was like a rose among thorns, the lone star on the blackest night. She was the future. And if we didn’t protect her, if we didn’t make sure she kept her humanity and learned that life didn’t mean death and that living didn’t only mean struggling, there would be no reason to keep fighting. There would be nothing to fight for.
“Is Tyler sleeping somewhere else?” Hendrix tore my attention away from Page and to the empty mattress that belonged to our resident nurse.
“No,” I answered slowly. “Unless, maybe she’s with… Gage?”
Vaughan had crossed the distance to her side of the room in three long strides and held his candle over her empty bed. “She’s not with Gage,” he stated firmly.
“She might be,” I whispered.
“She’s not,” Vaughan argued. “And he would have mentioned it if she was. We were just with him.”
Well, he was right about that.
“What’s going on?” Haley croaked from the back of the room. I couldn’t make out her face from this distance without more light, but she sounded exhausted.
“We’re looking for Tyler,” Hendrix told her.
“What happened to you three?” Nelson’s voice joined the confusion next. I snorted inside my head. Good thing we got separate rooms, Haley, so you could have your space. Not that I was any better with my relationship boundaries. I heard Nelson jump to his feet. ?
??Is everyone alright?”
“Just a few bumps and bruises,” Vaughan brushed him off. “We’re looking for Tyler.”
Nelson walked into the light, wearing only a pair of knee length, gym shorts. He ran a hand through his sleep-mussed blonde hair. “She was right there when I came in.”
“Her backpack’s gone,” Vaughan growled.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I bit out. “Why would she?”
“Is someone hurt?” Page asked sleepily.
The pieces of this mystery quickly clicked into place. “Miller,” I announced.
Vaughan set the candle down and took off through the curtain. “Shit,” I hissed. “Hendrix, put me down!”
He didn’t argue. As soon as I was on my feet, I ran after Vaughan, grabbing a clip and another Glock from the pile of weapons we kept stashed at the end of each bed. I noticed Tyler’s pile was significantly diminished.
My concussions were immediately forgotten as a greater problem surfaced tonight. Holy hell, if Tyler had gone after Miller alone, I was going to kill her.
“Stay with Page,” I heard Hendrix order Nelson and Haley before he sprinted after me.
I was halfway down the stairwell when I realized I only had one shoe on. Oh, well. It was too late to go back now.
Vaughan was much faster than us, so by the time Hendrix and I managed to push through the front doors, we were several steps behind him. His feet disappeared over the top of the wall, and he was gone from our sight completely.
Hendrix and I ran over to the iron gate where he immediately held out his clasped hands to give me a boost so I could also throw my body over the wall that kept us separated from the increasingly intelligent Feeders.
I wasn’t exactly sure if I was up for this again tonight, but I couldn’t think about that right now.
Tyler was in danger and I would do whatever it took to keep that girl safe. Even if it was keeping her safe from herself.
Chapter Four
I dropped down into a crouch to prevent my ankles from rolling. My socked foot hit the hardest, but I had gotten good at distributing my weight for these kinds of stunts. My hands hit the hard dirt with a slap that made them tingle, but I brushed it off and stood up while Hendrix landed next to me.
“This is not how I wanted to end my night,” he grumbled.
I looked up at him and dug into my copious reserves of sarcasm. “Really? You had better plans for the rest of the night than running around on Zombie-infested roads, tracking down a suicidal idiot?”
That coaxed a small smile from him. “I know it sounds crazy, but yes, I did.”
“Well, if you want, I can catch up to Vaughan and you can go get to those plans.”
I tried to turn around and flounce off dramatically, but he grabbed my hips before I could and jerked me against him. His warm, heated body pressed into mine. I could feel his hipbones snug against one side of my stomach; his firmed muscles caressed the softness of my body. I could feel his heartbeat gently thump an escalated beat beneath my fingertips when they trailed over his chest.
“That will be hard to do since every last one of them included you.” He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on the corner of my mouth.
“Mmm,” was the only coherent sound I was capable of making. My already fuzzy brain turned to mush with the promise of a night wrapped in Hendrix’s arms and all the steps it would take to get us there sparkly clean.
“But we should help Vaughan find Tyler,” he complained. He rested his forehead against mine with a feather-light touch. “I think he’s got a thing for her.”
I groaned. “I was afraid of that.”
“Why?” Hendrix asked on a dark laugh.
“Because I think Gage has a thing for her, too. And I don’t want it to be awkward if she chooses one of them.”
This time when Hendrix laughed it was much lighter. “Reagan, they’re grown men. One girl isn’t going to cause problems.”
I wasn’t as convinced.
He took my hand and started tugging me along as we jogged after Vaughan. I could barely make him out as he headed in the direction of the Colony. Our pace stayed easy and unhurried. I mean… how far could Tyler get on foot? And I had the one shoe, one sock, limping-thing happening. Still, we let go of each other’s hands after a couple steps.
Have you ever tried to hold someone’s hand while you were running?
It’s not comfortable. No matter how in love you are.
“Do you really think Vaughan likes her?” Hendrix glanced down at me as if trying to put together a complex puzzle, so I explained my question before he thought I had a thing for his older brother. “It’s just sometimes I can’t tell if he can even tolerate her. I’m not sure I’m buying these feelings for her.”
In front of us, Vaughan stopped. We could see two figures in the distance. Clearly, he had caught up to Tyler.
Or having a roadside chat with a Feeder.
Hendrix moved a little faster and answered my thoughts. “Sometimes it’s the girls that cause the most problems that are hardest not to notice.”
I smiled at his explanation and stopped smiling when I actually thought about it. “Is that what I did to you?”
“What? Cause problems?”
I shrugged, feeling slightly guilty. “Yes.” I thought back to those early days and since then. Or just earlier tonight. It could be argued, that I caused a lot of problems.
But Hendrix shook his head. “No, Reagan. I noticed you, because you brought my whole world to life.”
I should have said something equally romantic or loving, but honestly I couldn’t think of anything that would compare to that.
And so instead of some well-thought-out declaration, I bumped his arm with my shoulder and said, “I love you.”
He smiled down at me. “More than all.”
Our conversation cut short when we got closer to Vaughan and Tyler and could make out their heated words.
“What the hell, Tyler,” Vaughan growled. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“How can you of all people ask me that?” Her voice was so broken and ragged that she didn’t even sound like the strong, resilient person I knew that she was.
Hendrix and I didn’t say a word as they exchanged angry accusations and explanations, but I put a comforting hand on her shoulder so that she knew she had my support. Even if I thought she was bonkers for heading out on her own, I still loved the girl. And I did see things from her point of view. She was desperate to save her brother. I didn’t blame her.
“In order to protect Miller, you have to protect yourself first, Ty! You can’t do anything for him, if you’re sitting there chained to the same pole he is.” Vaughan’s voice shook with anger and he stood about three inches from Tyler’s face.
“You’re wrong,” she hissed. “I can tell him that it will be okay. I can promise to get him out of there. I can just be with him and love him. That’s something. That’s something I can do for him!” She took a step back and I thought for a moment she would be sick. But then she pulled herself together and threw all of her into more of her impressive rant. “And what if it were King or Harrison?” she screamed into his face. “What if it were Page! Would you sit idly by then? Would you protect yourself first?”
“Tyler,” his voice broke on her name but then he shook his head, defeated. “No, I wouldn’t wait.”
“Vaughan, I can’t let him stay there. I can’t let him keep suffering while I pretend that what I’m doing is better for everybody.” Tears streamed down her cheeks and she dropped her backpack to the ground with a thump. I wrapped my arm all the way around her frail shoulders and cried with her.
“Then we make Gage do something,” Vaughan told her a little desperately. “Tomorrow morning, we’ll make a plan and we’ll go get Miller. We won’t wait anymore.” He stepped forward and took her hand in his much bigger one. Holding it gently, he promised, “I’m on your side, Ty. I want to help you.”
She let out a bark of bit
ter laughter and stared down the road. I could feel the pull of her body to leave right now, to continue after her brother. “Gage will not go in there. I know that. I know he won’t risk losing anyone. And I don’t blame him. This is my fight. But I’ll do it alone if I have to. I won’t let my brother wait for me any longer.”
Vaughan ducked his head and brought Tyler’s attention back to his face by physically turning her chin with his thumb and forefinger. Holding her tightly in place, he said, “Then we will go without Gage. I am telling you that I will go with you, Tyler. Whatever it takes, whatever we need to do, you have me. I’ll help you get Miller back and we can start tomorrow. But you need to come back with me tonight. The only thing that will happen if you go right now, is you getting yourself killed, alright? Come back home with me and tomorrow we’ll make a plan and follow through.”
She nodded and sniffled against all her building emotion. I released her shoulders when Vaughan pulled her into a hug. He crushed her against his chest and whispered something comforting in her ear that I couldn’t make out.
I looked up at Hendrix to see that he was giving me the “I told you so” look. I smiled because he was right. I really hoped that Tyler didn’t make Vaughan suffer. It didn’t seem fair that someone so incredible could be passed over by two girls in the same year.
Were we all idiots? I mean, I knew I picked correctly, but Tyler had to get this one right. It wasn’t like she had a whole lot of options.
Except… she kind of did.
Plus, what he and I shared was not all that substantial. He seemed much closer with Tyler already.
Still, if this girl broke his heart I was going to sign him up for an Apocalyptic-online-dating site. Those existed, right?
Also, I would punch Tyler in the boob.
I swayed on my feet and Hendrix was there to catch me. “I think we should go back now,” I told them weakly. Now that we found Tyler and she had agreed to come home with us, the adrenaline burned out of my blood and I was officially beyond my limit. “I don’t feel so good.”