I shuddered with revulsion for this man that people followed so willingly, that killed so very easily and that manipulated with every single breath he breathed. I shivered with a sort of sadistic pleasure at the thought of killing him, of taking that breath and cutting it off. Of making sure he could never hurt another person ever again.
It was the only thought that kept me going. I couldn’t even find hope in just getting away from him. I needed to murder him. Strangle him with my bare hands. Or pull the trigger that sent the bullet straight through his brain.
I hardly recognized myself anymore.
“Will he be up later?” Kane pressed. I raised my eyebrows but tried to school my reaction. Kane was usually the golden boy any time his father was near. I was surprised to hear him push the Miller issue.
“Why is it that you ask, Son?” Matthias set his fork down and regarded Kane across the table.
“I was hoping to have a talk with him,” Kane answered coolly. He sat back in his chair and rested his arm over my shoulders. His hand cupped my shoulder possessively and he tugged me into him. It was then that Kane confirmed my suspicions… this was a power play of some kind. I didn’t know exactly how or why, but I had seen Kane work his father before. And whenever Kane showed off his “conversion” of me, it was all about displaying his dominance.
“About what?” Matthias’s eyes narrowed into a scowl.
Kane’s lip pulled back into a predatory smile, baring his white teeth and one dimple. “About his behavior. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of going through this. He’s twelve now, it’s time he grew up and stopped acting like a baby every time he’s asked to do something he doesn’t want to do.”
“Is that right?” Matthias grinned back at his son, but it looked different. It looked aggressive.
Kane nodded confidently. “I think I’ll be able to get through to him.”
“Well, by all means, go right ahead.” Matthias waved his hand around. “I can’t seem to get through to him no matter what incentive I use, but you go right ahead, Kane. You make him listen like I can’t.”
Kane’s grin kicked up another notch. “Well, alright then.”
Another heated silence descended upon us. Linley set her fork and spoon down and watched the tension ripple between her husband and son like it was a physical sporting event she’d bet money on. Her mouth had turned into a tight frown while her fingers tapped impatiently on the chipped table.
After a long while, Matthias’s cold eyes turned back to me. His grin had long disappeared but when he happened to catch my gaze by surprise, his lips twitched like he was trying not to smile.
“Today is a slow day,” he finally said. I worked to swallow the oatmeal that had suddenly become stuck in the middle of my throat. “I’m bored.”
I waited for him to go on.
Fear. That was all I felt. I was afraid of what he would say, of what he planned, of where this was going.
But more than fear, I felt anger.
I felt it sizzle and burn through my blood, I felt it slice my flesh and gouge at my insides. I felt it bubble and boil up inside me until it foamed in my mouth and ran down my chin.
“And I’m thinking I’m not the only one,” Matthias continued. “Reagan, have any suggestions for what we should do later to alleviate this boredom?”
I shook my head slowly.
So he amended his question. “How about who I should use to alleviate this boredom?”
Kane’s grip tightened on my arm in warning, but it was too late. I didn’t care what damage I caused, I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“You’re implying one of my friends? That you want to use one of my friends to entertain your Roman Coliseum? You’re a sick son of a bitch.” Everything inside of me shook and vibrated with searing rage. I would leap across this table and attack him here if I had to. He would not continue to get his way. He would not continue to hurt the people that I loved.
His expression turned hazardous. “I’m implying that I will punish one of my prisoners in a way that inspires loyalty and obedience from you.”
“Reagan,” Kane murmured directly into my ear. “Don’t goad him. Don’t start this now when we’re so close to-”
“They are not prisoners,” I spat heatedly. “They are free people. You don’t have any right to hold people! You don’t even have the right to keep your own children here! There is no government. There is no law. There is no supreme authority other than death and God and you are neither! You’re a self-centered asshole that tramples the weak and manipulates everyone else! You are not a leader, you are a coward! You’re afraid of free will! You’re afraid of peace and safety! You’re afraid of everything that doesn’t force people to trust you and that makes you the weakest of us all. You said that to make me afraid of you, to make me fear you, but I never will. You don’t control me and you never will, no matter what you do or who you kill. To me and to the people that matter to me, you will never be more than the worst kind of coward.”
He stared at me for a few seconds before he countered with, “I think I’ll kill two prisoners today. I think I’ll kill two of your friends and then we’ll revisit this conversation.”
“Touch them,” I dared him. “Touch my friends once. Try to kill them. Try to hurt anything I love. I almost wish you would. That will make my revenge oh so much sweeter.” A rush of satisfied adrenaline pulsed through me, lighting a new kind of fire inside.
I couldn’t wait to follow through. I couldn’t wait to end this.
“Your revenge?” Matthias laughed. “You’re revenge? What could you possibly do that would make any difference to me?”
I looked up at Kane and he looked down at me. I smiled at him sweetly and he smiled back. I leaned in and he mirrored me. I tilted my face up to kiss him and he gladly reciprocated.
Then I pulled back and swiveled my gaze to Matthias. “I will take your family away. Just like you took mine. I will pluck them from you one by one and make them suffer until they beg for death. Or, I will simply rescue them and give them a better life than you ever could.”
Matthias barked out a louder laugh. “That’s sweet. It sounds like you’ve put thought into all that, but you can’t. It’s just not possible.
“Sure it is,” I told him. “I’ve already gotten two of your children. Tyler isn’t here.” I gestured at Tyler. “Tyler will never be here. Unless you count that. Which being a self-respecting person, I wouldn’t. But who knows about you. And Miller isn’t here either. Miller is worse than Tyler. Look! You got Tyler to come to breakfast, but I seem to have forgotten Miller’s excuse. Could you remind me?” He stayed quiet. Which was a miracle in itself. So I continued, “I’m waiting for the right opportunity for Linley. I’ve been waiting for it for a while now. I’ve been watching her and watching her and just waiting. I cannot wait until I get her alone. I cannot wait until it’s just the two of us. It will be so fun. It’s what helps get me through these long days. Just thoughts of Linley. Just thoughts of what I will do to her and how slowly I will make those last painful moments last. And Kane? I could take him in a second. I could rip him out of your hands so fast you would blink and he would be gone. He might deny that if you ask him. But I know better. I hear everything else he says. I feel everything else he means. Kane is mine. You’re a smart man, Matthias, so don’t think for a second he isn’t. Right?” I turned to Kane. He leaned down again and kissed me. Point proved. I relaxed into Kane and let my threats soothe my soul and settle over the man I wanted to watch burn in hell.
His reply was an arrogant smirk and hard eyes. “Little girl, you just asked for trouble, I’m-”
“Do it,” I hissed. “Do whatever it is you want to do and see if I’m bluffing. Try me! Hurt someone I love. Hurt me. Take something away from me and see how painfully and how permanently I take something away from you.”
I stood up and pushed aggressively away from the table. I stared him down the entire time. Kane let me go without even an attempt to restrain m
e. I was beyond that. I was beyond all of this. I was leaving. Today. Because without a doubt I would follow through with every single one of my threats.
I stomped from the warehouse. I could feel Kane behind me, but he still didn’t try to slow me down. And I knew he wouldn’t. He really was mine. Matthias, Hendrix, nobody could take him from me. And he would do whatever I wanted as long as he thought we could survive.
I hoped both of us could survive what I was about to ask him to do.
Chapter Two
An hour later our backpacks were packed. Kane had been summoned to Matthias and left shortly after I told him we were leaving. But he knew I wanted out, and he hadn’t tried to talk me out of it, so I had to assume we were a go.
I had expected Matthias and his men to storm in here and drag me by the hair out to the courtyard so he could reenact his brutal way of killing with me.
They never came.
And since Kane hadn’t rushed back here to tell me someone else was going to be punished in my place, I had to believe Matthias didn’t take me seriously.
Our packs were sitting by the rolling door, and I was dressed, armed with whatever Kane had lying around and mentally prepared to kill anything and everything that got in my way.
It was almost eerie how silent the last hour had been. I hardly expected Matthias to let us just waltz out of here. And so my nerves were about as intolerable as they could be.
I’d made him look foolish.
I’d belittled his authority.
I’d called him a coward.
Retaliation was on its way. I knew that without any doubt.
But this time instead of fearing Matthias and his wrath, I looked forward to it. He’d succeeded in breaking me. I was officially broken. Goodness, mercy, forgiveness… All of those things had been ripped from me and replaced with a blood-hungry need for revenge.
I didn’t want anyone I loved hurt, of course, but I was starting to believe that was unavoidable. Maybe that was pessimistic, but I couldn’t help it. If casualties were unavoidable, I wanted to start now. I wanted to shed the first drops of blood and get this epic battle of the ages started.
Bring it on, Matthias.
Despite whatever adrenaline-fueled rage I’d worked myself up into, I still jumped when a gun firing on the other side of the door burst through my simmering solitude. The gun went off three times in very quick succession. I pulled a firearm from the back of my pants and held it at the door. I was ready for whatever was on the other side, whether friend or foe. The loud, metal door slid open with a crash and blood immediately seeped inside what had been a relative stronghold and sanctuary for me over the past few days.
Kane stood on the other side with his gun still drawn, hovering over the guards he’d just dropped without warning.
“Ready?” he said with the smallest hint of a smile.
I felt breathless watching him like that. He was the sexiest version of a knight in shining armor I’d ever seen. His black cargo pants hung low on his hips. His gray Henley hugged his chest and molded to his biceps. And his glasses were so mysteriously alluring perched on his strong, masculine nose that I just wanted to run to him, leap over all that blood and kiss his face.
I replayed that last thought in my head three more times and found some much needed, much saner perspective.
Leap over blood?
I’d lost my innocence, not my morality.
Yeesh!
“You killed them,” I croaked.
“It was us or them.”
“Why?”
“Because Matthias is coming after you.”
“He’s your father.”
“And you’re you.”
I lost my breath at his words. I had trusted Kane for a while now; probably even longer than I wanted to admit. But hearing his words, seeing him take steps to keep me safe and save my life, clicked the last piece of my emotions into place.
I had feelings for Kane Allen. Strong ones. Loving ones.
This man was the last person on the planet I believed I could love. And he was certainly the last person I wanted to love. But it had happened anyway.
Maybe he didn’t deserve my devotion. Maybe I should have wanted to kill him as much as I wanted to kill Matthias. But I’d stopped trying to make sense of these feelings for a long time now. It just wasn’t possible.
But I still didn’t love him as much as I loved Hendrix. I ached for Hendrix. I missed him with a gaping hole that hurt me deeper than anything else ever had.
Kane wasn’t there yet. But if he got me out of this alive… he might be a whole lot closer.
“I’m not leaving without Haley and the Parkers. And we are not leaving Tyler or Miller behind.”
Kane glanced over his shoulder quickly and back to me. I knew he was impatient, but he needed to know. I loved that he was here to save me, but I wasn’t going anywhere without the other people I loved. He would have to deal with that.
“Reagan,” his voice was growly, his eyes intense, “Do you know what it means when I tell you I love you?” I shook my head too emotional for words. “It means I give you everything, every part of me, every word, every thought, every action. It means I give you the world. And if I can’t just hand that over, then I’ll do whatever the hell it takes until I can. It means, you own every part of me, and I will not give up until I have every part of you. Even if that means rescuing my competition and all the people that want to kill me. I will do anything to make you happy. And I will do everything to keep you safe. Even if it means saving the Parkers.” He paused and rolled his eyes. “Can we go now? Please?”
I smiled with something like awe and a deeper love than I’d felt a minute ago. “Yes.” I pointed casually at the wall. I packed for you.”
Kane let out a burst of laughter. “A week under Matthias’s thumb and look how domestic you are? Maybe he’s doing something right after all.”
“I’m going to kick you in the shin.”
“There she is.”
He grabbed his pack and I shouldered mine. He didn’t even look around the room to check if I’d forgotten anything. He just took off down the hallway, and I sprinted as quickly as possible to keep up with him.
There were two more dead men in the stairwell. My stomach twisted at the sight of their lifeless bodies, but I couldn’t help but feel hope that we had a fighting chance.
“Where’s Matthias?” I asked as Kane jumped the last several stairs to the second-floor landing.
“There was a huge Feeder attack near the creek. Matthias sent a good portion of his men to contain it, but he just got word that it’s worse than we originally thought. He was forced to go out and try to help, along with the majority of his other eligible, capable men. I came straight here as soon as he took off.”
“Where’s he keeping Hendrix and his family?”
“First floor,” Kane told me.
At that point, Kane shut his mouth and jumped down the rest of the way, taking several steps at a time until we were on ground level. Kane seemed to know exactly where he was going, and where bad guys would be more heavily populated.
Like around the Parkers.
But security did seem lighter than usual. And the guys that stayed were not the guys that wanted to die from loyalty to Matthias. Kane let them live if they dropped their weapons and took off.
All of them decided they would rather live.
“They’re going to tell Matthias,” Kane whispered after a few guys raised their hands compliantly when Kane ordered them to dropped their guns at our feet and then took off running for the front door.
“Thank you for not killing them all.” And I meant that. There would have been a lot of dead bodies around here if he had. And I didn’t want to be the judge that said they all deserved to die.
Unless they were members of the Allen family.
That was an entirely different story.
But the rest of these men, were real men. This wasn’t a movie where extras got blasted in the face wi
th fake blood and blanks shot off in the background. This was real life. These people had families, and futures and souls. I couldn’t take that from them. Not unless they tried to keep me from someone I loved or from getting the hell out of here.
“I probably should.”
“Then why don’t you?” I asked quietly as we prepared to round another hallway.
He looked at me with those steely gray eyes, his gun loaded and ready in his hands. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, like I was his sun, moon and stars and the reason his world went around. He looked at me like it was finally okay for him to feel the way he did for me, that what was between us was healthy and natural and so much better than what it used to be.
“I can’t kill in front of you unless it’s absolutely necessary, unless it would be to save you.”
“Why not?”
He took a step closer to me and dipped to press a kiss to my temple before he said, “I never want you to confuse me with my father.”
Emotion clogged my throat. “I won’t.”
His fingertips brushed over my jaw. “Then there’s still a chance you might love me.”
I opened my mouth to tell him that I did love him. That I already loved him. That he didn’t need to wait for me or work harder to get my attention or prove to me that he wasn’t his father. I knew that already. And I wanted to tell him. I wanted to shout it at him and hold up banners and hire an airplane to write it in the sky. But life doesn’t work out that way.
Loud crashing sounds barreled through the hallway and I quickly jumped away from him. I thought about Hendrix, Haley and Page immediately and prayed it had nothing to do with them. The din of male voices shouting over the crash demanded my attention. I forgot all about declarations of love and heart-warming confessions.
Hendrix still trumped Kane. That was obvious.
Kane turned away from me and raced off down the hall, calling for me to follow. I obeyed. My pack was heavy, but it was the good kind of heavy. It was full of guns I’d picked up as we’d made our way to this part of the storage facility and supplies that would actually last us a while if we got out of here alive.