By Lela Sain
Copyright 2013 Lela Sain
This is where I draw the line:
As quiet as it’s kept
I still hear your voice from a distance
No noise is just as annoying as the sounds
Of your old whispers
Sweet nothings of yours, really didn’t matter
I can’t hear one more of your meaningless soon forgotten flatters
You said I meant everything to you
You even wrote down I Love You
Then you turned around
And this is what you do
Now it’s her, me and you
I called her
Ask her, it’s true
As quiet as it’s kept
I am glad we’re through
Now it’s just you
As Quiet As It’s Kept Part Two:
I bragged about it. I even cried about it. Then I thought about what you said. If I had to choose between the two. It would certainly have been you. So now how do you tell a heart that has never learned the difference between what could have been and what should be. There is only one way to find out what true love really means. I ask myself every time I grace your presence. Why can’t I stop thinking about if he notices me? Is it more than a friendly hello? Did what I say seem out of place? I hear bells, chimes, and everything.
What could this really mean? Now it’s through his loving smile. He says, "I am glad to see you again". You would have thought he promised me the moon and the stars. When all he did was speak. I can’t take it! He smells good! He is ruling my scenes. Is this It.? Is this love? I don’t know. He is sounding so convincing. He is really smiling. I am not thinking. Shakespeare Shakespeare is all I seem to hear. I get it! But now some twenty years past. "To be or not to be that is the question".
He quickly replaces glad to see you, with how are you! Do I tell him or just act none interested. As if he really didn't matter. When we were inseparable some twenty years apart. Let me pull myself together and shake his senses from my heart. I greet him with such a bellish grander. Hello! I am doing good and yourself. Not even waiting for an answer. I glanced at his hands only to find his golden commitment. Now, that should do it! No more thinking about what should have been or what could be. But ooh my, those eyes! And he has them locked on me. I can’t move. I can’t leave. The same eyes. The same ones that once softly loved me. He has once again captivated me.
Now we find ourselves in a moment of silence full of memories. I ask myself again. Is this real love or what does it all mean? He somehow reaches within himself to ask the question. What happened between...? We were quickly interrupted from the voice coming from across the store aisles. "Dear, I found the T-shirts that you like!" The look that once belonged to me faded away without a trace. He introduced her to me and me to her. I quickly said hello. She was too busy sizing the shirts and mothering his moves to notice jealousy had arose. Now I thought I should be feeling happiness, but all I could think about was my stupid pride. What broke us up in the first place?
Her, me, some silly word fight. His wife who Hurley whisked away to find the right size. Turns around to say. "It was nice to meet you"! He watches her as she walks away. With a look of love and admiration. He is quickly reminded of his forever I do. He says without hesitation, I am a happy man. She makes me happy too. He continued with I remember the love I have for you.
As we parted. I could only be assured Love could never be replaced only embraced to flourish and to grow. Now Love is To Be! It’s not just you. It really was me!
As Quiet As It’s Kept Part Three
Grandma Who Was That Man
He kneeled down on one knee. I thought what a gentleman you are. This was all because of me. Then I remembered what he saw in your eyes is what he saw in me. Your brown eyes looking to see what I would say. How did I miss him kneeling at your feet? You didn’t know him. Somehow it was ok because he knew me. He struck a conversation with I like your dress and shoes. Thank you is how you replied. Today is my Birthday! I just turned five.
Then it came out. Do you know my Dad? You look like him! Don’t he Grandma! Is what you said. Waiting for my reply. Two faces looking up at me, eye to eye. Then I let go! Yes! It’s true he looks like you. OOps! Your dad is what I’m trying to say.
Never losing sight. He arose to his feet. “YOU MEAN TO TELL ME". You have a son. How old might he be! I better think to give some factious number. You were right there stealing the thunder. "My dad is Two Three". "So are you like as old as my Granddad". He looked down to answer her. If I can remember correctly. I am more like your Granny's age. Thirty Eight exactly.
They call me little Miss Isabelle. They say I look like my Granddad. I can’t tell. What I know is my dog Tot looks like my little brother Fern. They drink water out of the same bowl. The only difference my dog wags his tail.
She pulls her Grandma's dress what is his name. Can I ask? Sure she said go right ahead. "Sir. What can I call you?" He looks at Grandma and says. She is you all over in a different life. Well! Answer her if you may. Sounds like you're being polite. Well I am Mister.... Honey! I found a pair of pants to match your shirts. Wouldn't you know it? Saved by his wife.
What a cute little girl! I am Finney! And I am Isabelle with the shake of their hands. From a bent posture to a straight stance. She gives me the glance that says. Still talking I see. It’s time to go dear. I found everything I need.
In parting once again we're heading out the door. Little miss Isabelle wave’s good bye. She stops in the parking lot and says. "Grandma who was that man". As Quiet as it's kept grandma's reply.
His just an old friend.
As Quiet As It’s Kept
Granddad Final Say
Little Isabelle leaps from the van into the arms of an old dusty coverall of a man. Granddad! Granddad! I got candles and cake. That’s right little one. We've got something to celebrate. Today is my best girl's fifth birthday! Grandma said I couldn't pick my own present. She said I will have lots of them when we gather. Granddad what you get me! Hold on Little one. It's a surprise! It’s from your Dad, Grandma and Me...
A Pony, a Bike or a Mystery Barbie. No! How about love from all three? Oh! Granddad you teasing me. Well how many hugs does a Granddad need from a birthday girl? Ump let me see. Five says Isabelle. Five from Me.!
Granddad, I met this man who was Grandma's old friend. You did! And what did he say? Could it be you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen? He told me I look like Grandma. I look like you. I do! Granddad. I laugh like you and walk like you too. You know what Granddad he looked a lot like my Daddy too. Yeah Said Granddad is that right. That’s what hugs and love will do. Oh! Granddad here is one from me to you!
She leaps from the lap of her Granddad. Daddy! Daddy! Isa, Isa he says. Happy Birthday my little button eyes. Today my Isa is turning five. Hello! Dad how are things. Couldn’t be better for me son. How about you? Getting ready for the shin dig. Your mom and others are all inside. Run along Isabelle. Go see who brought presents.
I came outside to talk with you. Yeah son what’s on your mind? I needed your advice. I know I ask you all the time. What do you do before a new baby arrives? Are you saying this is mine and Isabelle surprise? A look of joy wiping tears from his eyes. I am going to be a proud Granddad for the third time... Oh my! Son he says. You have once again made me a proud old man.
As the family gathered outside with presents and cake. Someone shouted let’s take your picture Isabelle. Blowing out the candles and cutting the cake. Isabelle who smiled for the camera. Reached back for her Dad and Granddad's Present.
A pretty porcelain lady. Thank you Granddad s
aid Isabelle. Dad what you get Me.! How about a sister or a brother. Isabelle said we're getting another baby. Yes said Dad that’s your surprise from your mom and me. Thank you mom and Dad. I am going to be the best sister I can be.
Grandma said who wants cake. It was Granddad at the front of the line. Don’t mind if I do. Happy Birthday Isabelle from me to you. He leaned into Grandma and whispered. As Quiet As It's Kept. I will forever be The ME To You.
Little Isabelle
Mom, Mom. What Isabelle she yells? Its Tommy's Twelfth birthday! And I am invited to the spring zing. What should I wear? What about my hair? What colors do you wear to a zing?
Oh Isa. I declare! Wear something bright and blue. Grandma yells, “A green will do”. Black it is! Moms and Grandmas don't know a thing. Why did I ask them anything? Calm down Isa. Is what I say. It’s just the greatest party ever. Only the coolest zingers will show. I am invited and I am only eleven.
Ding Dong! Who could that be? I am not dress yet. I am not ready to leave. Can you get the door Isabelle? Would you please? Hello is your mom home. Yes straight ahead. Mom! Some man. "Was that Little Isabelle"? My how she’s grown. "Yes, they don’t stay babies long"! How can I help you? "I am looking for Grandma Jones”. Yes, she’s here. Mother Jones! There is a salesman to see yah! "No. I am just an old friend". Mom says "As Quiet As It's Kept. Granddad Jones has only been gone no more than three years". Looks like Grandma is moving on.
Well, well, look who is here! Grandma says. It's been six years. Since I last laid eyes on you. Great day! What brings you through! Excuse me! Grandma! How do I look? Why so black Isabelle? It’s a Zing Grandma.! That’s what they do! Sir. What do you think?
Oh! Jake is my name. It’s not what I think. I came to see your Grandma, but I bet you look pretty in pink. No. Black is the new hue!
Pink was your Grandma's favorite color. Did you know Grandma before Granddad past away? Yes I did. She was my girlfriend. Oh my! Grandma how could this be! Well Isabelle this was way before Granddad and me. Don’t look so surprised! I knew other people before your Granddad arrived.
Does that mean you were divorced? No! I met Mr. Jake in High School. Ah! That’s cool. Dad’s blowing! I don’t want to be late! How do I look? Isabelle You looks great! It was nice to meet you Mr. Jake!