I chewed my pencils all day at school, scrolling them between my teeth as the yellow paint sunk and chipped. I brooded at lunch, answering whatever Dillon and Laura said to me with a grumble that could have meant yes or no. They asked me if I was going to ride with them during Ski Club and I shrugged and shook my head, then nodded, thinking I could decide after I saw Bren and my head was clear again. I was quiet in the car when my mother picked me up. When she asked if I was all right, I mumbled an umm-hmm and she left me alone until we pulled into her space at the hotel. Then she asked if Bren and I had had a fight.
“No. I’m just tired.”
“Ski Club tonight?” She smiled, her eyebrows raised high on her forehead.
I nodded.
“You can go up with your friends now. That’ll be fun.”
“Yeah,” I said, forcing a bright tone. “We’ll see.” I shoved open the door before she could say anything else. She needed to go back up to the suite for her salad, so I went to change into my snow pants and boots in case I wanted to ride later. Since Loki had found me inside, I didn’t see any reason to be relegated to the indoors, and Ski Club would be a chance to get out. I would be safer with a group anyway, especially if Bren was working on the mountain.
I went down to the reception area, full of jitters as I pulled out my phone to text him. I typed ‘home’ and hit send, then glanced out at the deck. I froze. Bren stood against the rail, one hand shoved deep in his jacket pocket, the other holding his phone so that I could see he had gotten my message. My limbs went weak with nerves. I dropped my backpack and slipped my phone back into my jacket. Then, sucking in a deep, shaky breath, I went to the door and pushed it open, wincing against the sunlight. I paused for a moment, hoping he would look less angry, then propelled myself forward. I stopped a few feet away from him.
His eyes were harsh on mine.
“My break is in an hour,” he said in a level tone. “I will meet you in the lodge.” Without waiting for an answer, he spun and stalked from the deck.
My mother eyed me from the desk when I came back in, but when she opened her mouth to speak, I scooped up my backpack and cut her off.
“I’m going to the lodge to wait for Tyler and Laura. I want to try to get my homework done before they get here.”
“Okay.” She threw up a hand. “See you later.”
I chose a table near the windows this time, not wanting to remember the scene with Loki by the fire. I felt so far from Bren, from the warmth of his smile, from the sound of his laugh, that my body ached with it. I could have cried then, just sat there and sobbed, but I was afraid one of the employees would go get my mother and I’d have to explain myself.
The hour was both long and frighteningly short, and by the time Bren finally yanked open the door and stalked into the lodge, making a bee-line for my table without even stopping to spot me, I was sick with regret.
He pulled out the chair opposite me, leaned on the back of it and glared down into my face. Then he straightened up and paced back and forth in front of the table a few times before spinning on me again. He ran a hand through his hair. I watched him, taking quiet, shallow breaths as I waited for him to speak. Finally, he sat down, flattened his hands on the table and leaned toward me, his eyes blazing.
“Why.” His tone was dangerously soft.
“I couldn’t just sit here waiting to lose you,” I said.
“After everything I told you. You still chose to risk it. Risk everything.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then went on. “You knew if I found out I’d come after you. It would have been a war, right then and there.”
“I knew you weren’t in my head. You told me you’d respect my privacy and I trusted you. I knew…”
“And I trusted you.”
I stared at him, felt the salty prick of tears and held them back as I searched his face. He tossed his gloves onto the table and sat back in his chair. “I don’t know what to say to you, Jenna. It’s like you’re working against me here.”
My face burned with guilt. I had wanted only to find a solution, and now he saw me as part of the problem.
“Why didn’t Skye tell you before I got there?” I asked, part of me wishing now that she had.
“She thought you might be able to get something out of him.” He huffed and stared out the window. “I don’t know which one of you is worse.”
Another stab.
“Bren, please, just…”
“No.” He turned back to me, then slid his chair back and rose, resumed his pacing in front of the table. “I don’t know what I have to do to make you understand what’s happening here.”
“I do understand.” A few people began to shuffle into the lodge and mill around. He ignored them.
“Really?” He leaned down, planted a hand on either side of me.
“I…”
“Do you understand that Loki wants to bring me back first, so that the others are more vulnerable?”
I opened my mouth, but he cut me off.
“And have you thought about how he’s going to do that?”
I fell silent. I hadn’t thought about it. I glanced at the table and back up, waiting.
“He knows he can’t take me. He’s always known. They can see everything from Asgard. See where we are. What we’re doing. All the time. And they’ve never come for us before.” He paused and held my gaze, waiting for me to speak. When I didn’t, he went on. “What do you think has changed, Jenna?”
He slapped the table and I jumped. Then he stood upright and laced his hands behind his neck, turning in a slow circle before leaning down to look into my face again. He raised his brows to prompt my answer.
I shook my head.
“I told my mother about you,” he said. “They were listening. They know how I feel about you.” He bent lower and stared into my eyes. “You are the only weakness I have. You are the reason Loki is here.”
A chill ran through me. I sat back, away from him, suddenly sure that my mere closeness to him would get him hurt. Why hadn’t I seen it before? Why hadn’t I asked why they were suddenly under attack after so many years? He was nodding.
“Now do you understand?” He asked. “He wants to use you somehow to get to me, and you just delivered yourself to his doorstep like frigging Fed Ex.” He slammed his hand on the table again, but I was too stunned to react.
“Everything okay, Jenna?”
I jerked my head up. Tyler leaned out from behind Bren, staring down at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brianna standing by the fire, watching.
Bren spun on Tyler. “Problem?”
Tyler shifted his weight. “That’s what I’m trying to find out. Jenna?”
Bren grabbed Tyler’s jacket and I heard Brianna gasp. Tyler tried to shove Bren away, but his grip was fierce.
“Talk to her again,” Bren said. “Say one more word. Do it.” Their foreheads were nearly touching. Hesitation flickered in Tyler’s eyes, but he planted his feet wide and stood his ground. His gaze shifted to mine once more and fear shot through me at the thought that he might say something else.
“That’s enough.” I shoved my chair back. “Just go away Tyler.” I looked over his shoulder at Brianna. She stared for a moment, but when I widened my eyes at her, she stepped forward.
“Tyler, let’s go,” she said. “Before you get in trouble.”
I threw my arm across Bren’s chest and pushed against him. “Let go.” But he pulled Tyler closer, twisting his jacket in one fist.
“Go, Tyler,” I said again. Brianna stepped up to Tyler and tugged at his shoulder. He ignored her.
“You still tough when you’re not hitting a guy from behind?” Tyler said to Bren.
Bren laughed, his eyes crazed. “Let’s find out.”
“No.” I wedged myself between them. “This is over. Right now.”
A long moment passed as I struggled without success to break them apar
t. Finally, I looked into Bren’s face. “Don’t do this now,” I said.
His fist tightened on Tyler’s jacket for another second, then he released him with a push. He pointed into Tyler’s face. “I should’ve ended you when I had the chance."
Tyler smiled and allowed Brianna to pull him toward the door. He walked backward, his gaze locked with Bren’s, until he hit the threshold, then he pivoted and went out into the cold. Bren watched him through the glass until he disappeared from view.
He turned back in my direction, fists on his hips, and stared at the floor.
I waited for his breathing to slow, for the muscles in his jaw to still. When I couldn’t stand the silence for another second, I said, “I’m sorry. I was scared for you and I made a mistake. I’ll be careful from now on. I promise.”
“Yeah, well, let’s see if you’re here when I get back.” His eyes touched on mine for a brief second before he spun and stalked out of the lodge, his shoulders still tense with anger.
I stood there alone, listened to the ski club kids talk and laugh, watched the fire flicker, and tried to breathe through the hurt. I sat down at the table and opened my book, straining to concentrate on the words, but they were meaningless, so I slammed it closed and shoved it in my backpack. It was stuffy in the lodge, and I suddenly felt suffocated. I sprang up from my chair and headed for the door, desperate for the cold air by the time I heaved it open.
I stood in the middle of the deck and inhaled, the sun on my face a warm contrast to the breeze, then closed my eyes and lost myself in the orange haze beneath my lids.
“Jenna.” Brianna. But her tone was different. The bubbly squeak was missing. I opened my eyes as she cleared the top step and approached me in long strides.
“Look,” she said, panting, her cheeks flushed. “I know you and Bren are fighting or whatever, but he doesn’t have to take it out on Tyler. He already attacked him once.”
“It’s over,” I said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s not. Bren’s following Tyler to the raceway.” She glanced over her shoulder. “He came out of the trees next to the lodge. I tried to yell to Tyler but he couldn’t hear me.”
I peered around her toward the bunny hill and searched the crowd. I saw Bren’s hair gleaming in the sun as he buckled himself into his board. Tyler was just dropping over the hill.
“No,” I said.
I left Brianna behind, flew down the stairs and pulled my board from the rack. I ran as fast as I could to the bunny hill and buckled in, glancing down the slope as I rose. They were at the bottom now, Tyler pumping himself over the flats past the terrain park lift, Bren just gaining the foot of the hill. I started down, concentrating on my turns to avoid a fall, and did not look up again until I hit the end of the run. Tyler had reached the raceway lift and was filing into the small line. Bren hung back, letting a few people slide in between them. I kicked my board off, picked it up and ran in a clumsy gait over the snow, calling Bren’s name, but he didn’t even look back.
By the time I moved into the line, they were on their way up, three chairs between them. I boarded the lift by myself and pulled the bar down, sliding from side to side to try to see them more clearly. Tyler was sitting in the middle of his seat, his poles hanging on the bar. Bren reclined to one side, his arm slung over the back of the chair. He had both feet buckled into his board. I frowned. It was not his board. It was dark wood with a bright pattern. When it caught the sun, yellow dots and swirls lit up across its surface.
Bren glanced back, caught my eye and grinned a sly, unfamiliar grin, then faced forward again. He ran a hand through his hair and shook it out, the long cinnamon locks changing to white gold as new layers fell into place. My blood ran cold. Loki.
He did not turn again but I knew he saw me, in his head where he could feel my fright and shock. He had been listening. In just a few moments he had taken everything Bren and I had said to each other, everything that had happened with Tyler, and even Brianna’s misguided concern, and turned it into an irresistible trap. It was exactly what Bren said he would do. And I had fallen for it.
I was shaking when my chair hit the off ramp, and for a moment I felt the relief of concentrating on nothing but remaining upright. But when I looked around and saw that every guest was veering to the left, while the sign for the raceway pointed right, my stomach lurched. I stood near the trail map for a moment and watched the lift operator read his magazine. I knew I had to look for them. I had no love for Tyler, but if he was seriously hurt, or worse, because of me, I would not be able to live with it.
The day darkened. I glanced up and found the sun, now just a neon smear on a violent gray ocean, and watched as lacey hail began to blow in the new, cold wind. I closed my eyes and imagined oblivion, death, wondered how much pain a body could take before it shut down its own consciousness. Then I pushed off the map and headed to the crest of the raceway.
I stared down the wide, even slope. Hollow bits of ice filled the air, swirling in all directions and misleading my vision. I began to descend on my back edge, moving in slow, small arcs as I scanned back and forth, straining to hear over the howl of the wind. The trail was empty for a long time, and I guessed that I was about halfway down when I finally saw Tyler’s gray racing jacket through the squall. I squinted. He was just a dim figure poised on the high bank of the stream. I angled toward him.
His image sharpened as I approached. He sat with his back toward me, his legs folded to the side, his skis still attached. I pivoted onto my front edge and scooped around him, kneeling in the snow so that I could look directly into his face. My heart skipped.
“Tyler,” I said, my voice no more than a high breath.
His hair was white from roots to ends, his blank expression frozen as he stared out from wide, wet eyes. I squeezed his shoulder and shook him. “Tyler. Wake up. Tyler. Come on. Wake up.” He was warm, but pale and motionless, and he didn’t seem to know I was there. “Tyler,” I said, shaking him again. I glanced around, then clapped my hands twice in front of his face, speaking in a loud, firm tone. “Come on Tyler.” But he didn’t stir. “Tyler, please,” I sighed.
“Looks kind of like an ice sculpture.”
I jerked my head around. Loki stood on the slope just below me. The yellow jacket he had fooled me with was now metallic brown, the board I had seen from the lift now the skis I knew to be his. His hair blew across his forehead and fell softly in his eyes as he watched me.
“What should we call him?” He asked. “Racer in Repose?” He put a finger to his lips, frowning down at Tyler. “No. No. It doesn’t capture his essence.” He twirled his hand in the air for a moment and then pointed at me. “I know. How about Rapist in Repose?”
I stared at him, my pulse loud in my ears. “He has nothing to do with this.”
“But he does.” Loki slid backward, his skis running uphill until he was just behind Tyler. “He was instrumental in bringing us together. If not for Tyler here, today may not have been our day.” He gave Tyler a swat with his pole. Then his expression transformed into a sneer, his hateful gaze midnight blue. “Your boyfriend was right. He should have killed him.”
I hunkered back down to Tyler, desperate now to wake him before I no longer had the chance, and shook his shoulders with both hands. “Tyler, wake up. Tyler. Dammit.” I shoved him back and let my hands drop.
Loki smirked and rolled his eyes, his voice sandy smooth. “It’s not like he’s dead. Someone will find him soon. And with a little therapy and an hour at the hairdresser, he’ll be back on the Little Woods Varsity Date Rape Team in no time.”
I slumped, the snow creaking under the press of my knees. Ice coated my hair, dripping down into my eyes as it melted. I heard Loki slide forward and saw his skis cut into the snow beside me.
“It’s time to go,” he said.
Cold panic fluttered my pulse and before I could think I was up,
turning, facing down the slope. I let the incline take my board, steering in small turns and trying to build speed as fast as I could. I imagined the lodge, people, Bren’s furious expression, and wanted nothing more than to see those things now, to ride into their midst. Loki’s skis scrawled on the snow somewhere behind me, his laugh no more than a faint, lazy trill. I concentrated on the rush of the stream to drown it out. I was moving faster than I ever had, my turns tighter and more vertical, but the thought of something terrible happening to Bren or to the others, because of me, outweighed any painful fall I could imagine. I steered my runaway board, pushing on.
As the path narrowed and the pines closed in on either side, the scrape of Loki’s skis grew louder. My board wobbled as I registered the sound and I swayed closer to the stream. The ground was choppy here, chewed up, hail caught in the ruts and divots. I skirted around most of the icy chunks and veered left to avoid a large bump that had materialized from the gloom. Straightening out again, I focused ahead and my knees went weak. A small jump rose beside the trees a few feet away, heavily grooved by the many boards and skis that had vaulted from it.
“No,” I whispered. Loki’s hiss closed in on my right, giving me no room to swerve away. I hit the jump at full speed. My board quivered as it dug against the ramp and pain shot through my weak ankle. I buckled, lurching as I cleared the crest. With no ground beneath me, I had a brief moment to spot the snow and realize I was at too sharp an angle to land upright, so I closed my eyes and cringed, bracing for the spin out.
An arm coiled around my waist and snatched me backward in the air.
“Gotcha,” Loki said in my ear, his sweet, licorice scent all around me.
A second later we were on the snow again. He held me against his side so the front edge of my board ran parallel with his skis and I clutched at his jacket, wincing against the sting of the hail as we gained speed. The ground rose and dipped before us, a white, turbulent sea churning against a storm, and Loki navigated with an effortless grace, his turns sharp enough to rip me apart if not for his iron grip.
I opened my eyes against the wind and ice to see if I could spy any part of the resort and caught movement close to us. Fenrir galloped at Loki’s side, his fur blowing back against his swift gait, his mouth open in a fierce, jagged grimace. For a second I felt a warm burst of relief as his eyes rolled back to regard me, then couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. He was Loki’s wolf, running with him now, answering his silent will like the hills and trees around us.
We hit the glades at an impossible pace and Loki cut around them in hard switches, each trunk inches from us before he made his move. I heard myself scream, my voice lost in the howl of the wind.
“Easy,” he said. His chilled tone sent me into violent shivers.
Fenrir, agile as a mountain lion behind us, barked once as we changed course and headed upward. Loki had stopped bothering to bend the trees, and they continued to rush at us, my body tensing with each near miss. The woods had weakened the hail, and I no longer had to close my eyes, but I could have. I knew where we were going. The path was familiar, and so I turned my head to avoid the boughs as we crashed through them, skidding to a stop in the middle of Ringsaker.
Chapter 29