“Yes, if you want to call what she does living. She’s a heroine addict. After Grace cheated on me and discovered she’d given me HIV, she couldn’t handle the guilt. She ran off—cut pretty much all contact with Holly and me, except when she’s out of money. That’s when she comes around. When she’s desperate to find a way to get her next fix, she comes home, and I always give in.”
I shake my head. That’s so fucking sad. I know Noel Falcon’s drug use once destroyed Black Falcon. Thank God Riff was able to get through to Noel before he got in too deep and ruined his life. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Drugs can royally screw a person’s life up. That’s a shame.”
“That’s what Holly used to say, but as she got older the emotion she felt towards her mother went from sympathy to anger. The last few years, every time Grace has come around, Holly chases her away and won’t allow her to speak to me. I was grateful to her, I could never tell Grace, “No”, but Holly is a lot stronger than me. She stands up for what’s right. She’s special.”
The weight of this secret presses down on my heart. How is this fair that I know this about her father and she doesn’t? Bill’s right. Holly is special. I knew it when I first laid eyes on her in the club. She stood out to me against all the other women vying for my attention—and she wasn’t even trying. That easy smile she wore when she hugged Max—the way she cut loose on the floor—I knew I had to have her and I didn’t even care if she was with another guy. That goes against everything I stand for. I hate cheaters. I was screwed over, so I know how bad it sucks. Cheating nearly ruined my life, but none of that even entered my brain because something about Holly drew me in and I was powerless to fight against it.
The inner turmoil must be easy to see on my face. Bill leans forward in his chair and catches my gaze. “Trip, neither of us wants Holly to find out what we’re keeping from her, so the only way I’ll promise to keep your secret is if you keep mine.”
I stare at this selfless man, who loves his daughter so much he’s willing to shield that he’s dying to save her some heartache. My heart cracks at the thought of how painful this must be for him. I don’t want to see Holly or Bill hurting. There has to be something I can do.
“Bill, I’m ready to agree to be your partner in this business, I’ll shake on it right now if you agree to allow me to pay for your doctor visits and medications. I want to keep you here for Holly as long as I can.” I know I can’t make this all go away, but considering the cards that have been dealt before me, it’s the best offer I can come up with. “Please let me do this for you.”
He doesn’t answer right away, just stares at the television absently for a few moments, but then he nods. “Okay. I’d be a fool to turn a deal like that down.”
I give him a small smile and extend my hand to him. “Do we have a deal?”
Bill’s hand meets mine. “We do, partner.”
And just like that I’ve agreed to take on half of the tracks problems in the hopes that someday we’ll be able to turn this place around and actually see a profit.
Tyke is going to ream me out for making such a hasty decision. He won’t understand that this just felt like the right thing to do. I’ve got to go with my gut on this one. I believe I can make a real difference here, so this is where I need to be.
Chapter 9
She Will Be Loved
Holly
I study the way the blue dress hugs my curves in the mirror. This isn’t exactly a “we’re purely platonic” outfit but it’s perfect for torturing Jackson some more. I almost feel bad about playing this game with him now, but when I allow myself to think about him sleeping with other women behind my back it relieves the guilt, and keeps pushing me to act indifferent towards him.
“I love the color of that dress,” Max says as he glances up from a magazine while lying on my bed. “Blue has always been your color. It matches your eyes. But I wish you weren’t wearing it to impress the asshole.”
I smooth the dress down. “Do you think it’s wrong to make someone jealous on purpose?”
“If you’re talking about making Jackson jealous, then you already know my answer. You know how I feel about him.”
I put my hands on my hips. “What if I am? How would that affect your answer?”
Max closes the magazine and tosses it next to him. “That asshole doesn’t deserve any more of your energy. He cheated on you, Holly. Then said he didn’t love you. Don’t let him mess with your head just because you’ve got something going with the new meat in town. Jackson’s fucked with your head long enough. He always strings you along. It’s time to move on, and maybe Trip’s the guy to do that with.”
“I thought you said he’s not the right kind of guy for me? What’s with the sudden change of heart?”
Max throws his legs over the edge of the bed. “I’ve seen you two together. The way both of you look at the other...I don’t know...it’s weird, like you have some sort of connection. I think I was wrong about him. Besides, I don’t care much for Jackson threatening to beat my ass if I didn’t tell him everything I knew about Trip. That jerk is the biggest fucking bully. I can’t understand what you ever saw in him.”
“I’m sorry he did that to you. He can be an asshole sometimes, I know.” I sit next to Max, my heart feeling heavy that I’ve been keeping things from him about Trip. “If I tell you something, promise not to yell at me?”
He tilts his head. “When have I ever yelled at you?”
I laugh. “Okay, maybe you don’t yell, but you certainly like to try and change my mind when you think I’m doing something bad.”
“I only do that because I love you, Holl. And, yes, I firmly believe if you would take my advice more often where men are concerned you’d be happier.”
I sigh. “I know, which is why I need your advice now.”
Max twists his lips. “I’m all ears.”
I clutch my hands together in my lap. “Trip and I aren’t actually dating.”
His brow furrows. “What do you mean? You told me last week Jackson and Trip got into it because Jackson is jealous you’re dating Trip. I don’t understand.”
I take a deep breath. “I know that’s what I said, but the truth is, we’ve sort of been pretending to be an item.”
Max leans his head back and groans. “Oh no. Tell me you didn’t rope Trip into making Jackson jealous.”
I grimace. “It was his idea.”
“And you thought it was a good one? When did you make this little deal?”
“The day after we met him at the bar.”
“So after you kissed him?”
I nod. “Yes.” Max laughs and I smack his leg. “Why is that so funny?”
“You honestly think you two can pretend to like each other without real emotions getting involved?” I open my mouth to answer, but he cuts me off. “I saw you two at the bar, remember. That’s attraction, babe, and you can only fight that for so long. This is going to blow up in your face.”
“So you think what Trip and I are doing is a mistake?”
He shakes his head. “No. I think trying to win Jackson back is a mistake. Trip seems to be really into you. I’d rather you see where that leads.”
“Where is this coming from? Aren’t you the one who warned me off of him a couple weeks ago?”
“I was, but that was before I saw the two of you together.”
“Even if I think I might have feelings for Trip, he’s leaving, so they won’t matter. I don’t want to develop feelings for a guy that’s not even going to stick around.”
“You don’t know that. He might be willing to leave everything behind to move out here if things work out.”
“That’s crazy talk, Max. I only know the very basics about him. I know he’s from Kentucky, has a twin brother, and his parents are still married. Other than that, I don’t know a thing about him. I don’t even know if he has a real job.”
“Well, why don’t you ask him?”
“You think it’s that simple?”
“Yes. Yes, I do. Trip should be the one you’re going out on a date with tonight, not Jackson. You like him. Admit it and get to know him.”
“I told you, this isn’t a date with Jackson. He has a way to help the track, so this is a business dinner.”
Max rubs his chin. “Then why didn’t he tell you to bring your dad along?”
I have no answer to that, really. That’s a great question. “I don’t know. Maybe he feels more comfortable just talking to me about it first?”
He raises his eyebrow. “He’s known your dad just as long as he’s been coming to this track. Face it. Jackson is a spoiled toddler who doesn’t like to share his toys. If he really loved you, Holly, it wouldn’t take another man showing an interest in you to make him remember that. People want what they can’t have. It’d be smart of you to remember that.”
What he says makes perfect sense, yet the curiosity to see how Jackson thinks we can save the track wins out. “You’re probably right, but I still need to go.”
Max reaches over and holds my hand in his lap. “Just be careful, would you? I don’t want to get my ass kicked when I try and go beat those two jerks up over hurting you. Believe it or not, I’m delicate.”
I laugh and pat his hand. “You’re such a good friend.”
He grins. “That’s what a best friend is for.”
After I double check myself in the mirror, Max and I head downstairs. The heavenly aroma of sizzling steak fills the lower level of the house. Dad is fast asleep, curled up under a blanket in his recliner while Trip is busy in the kitchen, cooking. I study my father, he looks so much older than he did even five years ago. It makes me sad he doesn’t take better care of himself. He’s all I have left and I wish he would at least make an effort to get well for me.
“You two are just in time. The food is nearly done. Hope you guys like your steaks medium, if not I can leave them on a little longer,” Trip says as he glances over his shoulder. “Can you grab me a plate for these, Holly?”
My heels click against the wood floor as I walk to the cabinet. I hand him the plate. “This is so sweet of you.”
Trip shrugs. “We’re celebrating.”
I raise an eyebrow because my curiosity is killing me. “Oh? What might that be?”
He slaps the steaks on the plate and smiles. “Mountain Time Speed Track has an investor.”
“Really?!” I squeal and throw my around his neck. “That’s amazing news!”
He laughs and sets the food down before turning and wrapping his arms around my waist. The expression on his face turns serious the moment he takes in my outfit. “You look amazing. Are you going out somewhere?”
I nod. “Jackson has an idea to help save the track, so I’m meeting him for dinner to talk about it.”
His lips pull into a tight line. “Call and cancel. You don’t need his help anymore.”
“Trip...I can’t do that. Your investor friend signing on is great, but we need ways to drum up business. I have to hear what Jackson has to say. We need all the help we can get around here.” Trip opens his mouth, but quickly closes it when a horn honks twice outside. “That’s him. We’ll talk more tonight.”
I lean up and kiss his cheek before running out the door and hoping in Jackson’s car.
The familiar scent of leather and woodsy cologne assaults my nose as soon as I close the door, locking myself in with Jackson. I used to love this smell. Sitting in here now reminds me of a time when being with Jackson was very comforting, instead of the tension I feel being next to him now. I can’t help but wonder how many other women he has had in this very seat behind my back, and a mixture of sadness and anger wash over my heart.
“Wow! That’s some dress, Holl. It’s tight in all the right places,” Jackson says, his eyes appraising my outfit.
Typically that kind of compliment would have had me giggling like an idiot, but now it rubs me the wrong way, like all he’s interested in is my body. I remember those kinds of remarks being a lot sweeter. That is before I found out he was using them on every other girl around here.
I tug the hem of the dress down to cover my thighs a little better. “Thanks, I think.”
Jackson backs out of the parking lot and then turns in the direction of downtown Tucson before reaching over and taking my hand in his. “I’m so glad you decided to come out with me tonight. Things are going to be good this time, Holly. I promise.”
I withdraw my hand from his. “I only agreed to come out with you for the track, Jackson. This is just business.”
He readjusts in his seat, staring straight ahead. “Business it is, then.”
Neither of us says another word during the ride. Tension rolls around us, but I won’t be the one to break it. He asked me to come out with him. He knows we aren’t together, and it’s unfair of him to think I would just give in and be an easy lay.
Once we’re seated at the small table in the restaurant, Jackson says, “This is awkward. Maybe this was a mistake. We can leave.”
Panic washes through me as I realize he might not help unless I give in a little. “Let’s start over. I’d like us to be friends.”
Jackson toys with the fork in front of him. “Friends, huh? You know, that night in your room, I was hoping we could part as friends, so I could move on without a guilty conscience, but when I hear you say it—it stings.”
I sigh. “Jackson...you chose to end things.”
“I know, and I’m here to say I made a mistake. I want you to take me back, Holly. You know we’re good together. Things could go back to how they were and I can help you set up a motocross competition to draw a crowd to the track.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want things to go back to how they were.”
His brow pulls in. “Don’t you want to get back together?”
This is the moment I’ve been wanting—for Jackson to come crawling back, admitting he was wrong—so why don’t I feel excited? I take a deep breath and Trip’s face pops into my head, which puzzles me. Why would I be thinking of him at a time like this?
As if Jackson is poking around in my brain, he asks, “Is it because of Trip?”
My eyes widen at his forwardness. “No. Well, I mean, a little, yes, but the main reason I don’t want to take you back has to do with you.”
“Me?” he asks with a surprised face. “I admitted I made a mistake by fooling around on you, and I’m sorry. Can’t we just move past that?”
I shake my head. “You don’t get it, do you? It’s not just the fact that you cheated—that’s just one of the reasons. You lied to me. I bet it went on a lot longer than you lead me to believe. You probably just got tired of hiding it all the time.” He opens his mouth to argue, but I don’t give him the opportunity, and the reasons I don’t want him back flow freely from my mouth. “You never supported the idea of me going away to college, even though I had my heart set on it. And I don’t like how you treat Max.”
His eyes narrow. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t like you harassing my friend. Max told me you threatened him if he didn’t tell you why Trip was here.”
“I only did that because I was worried about the guy’s intentions. I don’t like to see you get hurt.”
I laugh sarcastically. “That’s rich. You can hurt me but no one else can.”
Jackson’s jaw muscle flexes under his skin. “You know what, Holly, I’m done.”
“You’re done? What does that even mean?”
“It means that I lost my mind believing that I wanted you back. Tell Trip he won and he can have your bitchy ass.” He rises from the table.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving. Find your own way home.” Jackson throws a twenty on the table. “That should cover your meal.”
My mouth drops open as I watch him turn and leave the restaurant. I can’t believe that asshole just left me stranded here. Max was right. I’m beginning to question my own judgment on what I ever saw in that guy.
The petite, blond
e waitress approaches the table. “Would you like to order your drinks now, or are we waiting on someone else?”
I dig in my purse and hand her my fake ID. “It’s just me, and I would like to start with something from the bar.”
TRIP
The way Holly tore out of here made my heart sink. I know her goal is getting Jackson back, and I’m a dumbass for beginning to care about a girl who loves someone else, but I wish she would reconsider that asshole. The idea that he could be kissing those sweet lips of hers right now makes my blood boil. I’ve tasted those lips, and all I’ve done over the past week is thought about doing it again.
I stab the steak in front of me with my fork and vigorously begin cutting it, while picturing Jackson’s smug face.
“Whoa. What did that thing ever do to you?” Max asks.
I shrug. “Nothing. I was just thinking.”
“About Holly and Jackson,” Max prods before taking a bite.
My eyes flick to his, but I don’t answer. I don’t need him knowing my business.
Max takes a drink of water and then sets his glass down. “I never did like the guy.”
“Why?” I ask and then take another bite before glancing over at Bill, who is still asleep in the recliner. “I thought you all were friends or something.”
“Or something...” Max says. “Jackson Cruze is a narrow-minded homophobe who talks with his fists.”
“You two have gotten into it before?”
Max nods. “Oh, yeah, many times.”
I raise an eyebrow. “And Holly stayed with him. I thought girl-code was if the boyfriend and the best friend didn’t get along, the guy didn’t last long.”
Max shrugs. “I never told her.”
“Why not?”
“I might be gay, Trip, but I still have pride like any other man. I don’t want everyone to know I get my ass beat every time I turn around, especially not my female best friend who treats me more like a man than most people around here do.”
“I thought no one knows your...sexual orientation.”
“I’ve never officially come out if that’s what you mean, but people have speculated for a long time now.”