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Chapter Twenty
EVA
Jeremy had gone hunting. I hated him. He’d done this on purpose. He had known Cage was coming back. He knew it all weekend and didn’t tell me. I was punching him in the nose when I saw him next. I’d made an idiot out of myself downstairs. I’d thought my lack of sleep was causing me to hallucinate when I saw Cage drive up that morning. Then he’d come inside and he’d. . . I reached up and cupped my tender boobs. They ached all the time these days. They always felt swollen. Then when Cage had started staring at them, I swear they were tingling and causing the area between my legs to tingle too. I’d had to go up to my room and calm down.
I’d given in Saturday night and eased the ache that thinking about Cage always caused. I hadn’t let myself do it while I was engaged to Jeremy. It just felt wrong. But taking cold showers was painful in the winter. I much preferred an orgasm. Even one that I have to give myself. I had plenty Cage moments to replay in my mind to get me off. Sitting up in my room and watching him load the truck had given me more inspiration. He’d stared hard at my boobs. I’d seen the look in his eyes, and just remembering it made my body come alive. Just to have him touch me again.
My nipples were so tender now. Having him look at them helped produce a much better orgasm than the one I’d had on Saturday night. I wondered what would happen if he touched them. I squeezed my legs together and tried hard to push that thought away. It would only send me back to my bed with my hand down my panties. I had to get control of that. Cage was just more than my body could handle.
He wanted to stay. He wanted to be close to me. He wasn’t asking for anything else. I didn’t understand. Why would he stay here and work for free just to be near me if he didn’t think we could ever have what we once had? He had hurt me. He had done things that there was no excuse for, and I was terrified to trust him. But I wanted him here. I wanted to see his sexy smile. I wanted to see him look at me with need in his eyes. I also missed him. I enjoyed talking to him, however, brief our conversations might have been.
I stepped away from the window. He needed to eat something, and I wanted to talk to him again. Alone. Without Jeremy here. Maybe his going hunting wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Besides, Cage thought I was still engaged. He wouldn’t do anything he shouldn’t. Which was good because I wasn’t sure I could tell him no.
* * *
Once I had biscuits and eggs ready, I called his phone for the first time in six months.
“Hello,” he answered on the first ring.
“Breakfast is ready,” I replied.
“I’ll be there in a second,” he said before he ended the call.
I could have texted him. I knew that. I had just wanted to call him. To hear his voice. The pleased sound when he’d said he would be here in a minute had been worth it.
I had fried up sausage that morning instead of bacon, and the eggs were an added touch I didn’t normally take time to make. Yes, I was going overboard, but I wouldn’t think too hard about that. I didn’t have Jeremy there to notice, and so I did what I wanted without judgment.
Cage opened the door and stepped inside. I turned just in time to see him pull off his cap and hang it beside the door. He flashed me a grin. The kind that made my panties wet. Yes, that kind. I was pretty sure he knew it too.
“Damn, baby, I get eggs today too? And sausage? What’d I do right?” he asked with a teasing glint in his eyes as he pulled out his chair then looked at me. “You’re eating too,” he said. It wasn’t a question. He reached over and pulled out the chair beside him. I sat down and let him push me in. Then he sat down and went to fixing my plate.
I let him do that every morning. It wasn’t something I wanted to think too hard about. At least I hadn’t. But was it right? Did it make me weak and needy?
“Why do you do that?” I asked as he set my plate in front of me.
“What? Fix your plate?”
I nodded
“Because I like taking care of you” was his simple reply before he went to fixing his plate. I wanted to ask him why again, but he had already told me how he felt this morning. I wasn’t going to keep making him say it. I had a hard time believing he loved me. I’d seen the pictures and the video. They were forever etched in my brain.
I took a bite of my sausage and waited a minute. Right on cue, Bliss started to move. I reached over for Cage’s hand. “When I eat, she moves,” I told him. He stopped eating and gave my stomach his complete attention. I took another bite and watched as Cage held my stomach as if he were holding something as fragile as an actual baby. He reached for the bottom of my shirt and his blue eyes lifted to mine. “Can I?” he asked. I had been prepared for that.
I nodded.
He slipped his hands under my shirt and, just like before, my body trembled from the contact. “Eat,” he said with a grin.
I did as I was told and watched as Bliss started moving under his hands. His fingers splayed out over my skin, and when she’d stop moving, he would start touching me in a way that sent my pregnancy hormones into overdrive. I forced food into my mouth to keep his hands still. The times when Bliss wasn’t moving was when his caresses started getting to me. Bliss moved and his hands moved with her. When she stopped, his thumbs were just under my breasts. If he moved them at all, they would brush the underside of my bra. I held my breath. I wasn’t sure I could keep from making a noise if he did.
“Eva?” he asked. His voice had dropped to a low husky whisper.
“Hmmm?” was all I could say.
“If I move my thumbs and you whimper one more time, I’m not real sure I can be good. I’m trying, sweetheart, but you’re making these noises and I am slowly losing it. ”
Oh! I jolted back. I hadn’t known I was making noises. How had I been making noises? I pushed my chair back and I stood up. “I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” I managed to croak out before I escaped to my room again for the second time in one morning.
CAGE
My invisible fairy was back. A sandwich miraculously appeared on the tailgate with a bag of chips and a thermos full of sweet tea around lunchtime. She was hiding. I probably shouldn’t have said anything about the little noises she was making, but damn if I was about to do something she wasn’t ready for. I was trying to save myself from screwing things up. Now she was hiding from me. I hated for her to hide from me.
I had decided I’d let her hide today. Give her a day to get over it. But tomorrow I wasn’t going to let it slide. I hated that she felt like she had to hide from me. I’d almost forgotten how skittish Eva could be. I glanced back one more time before heading to my car. Her door was closed, and I wondered if she would sleep okay tonight. She hadn’t taken me up on my offer to sleep in the barn.
I had the door to the car open when I heard the screen door slam shut. I turned around, and Eva was standing on the porch, watching me. What do I do with that? Hell, it was hard.
“I’m finished up. I’ll be back in the morning,” I called out to her.
“Okay. Thank you. I’ll see you then,” she replied. Then she started twisting a lock of hair around her finger and biting her lip. That meant something was bothering her and she didn’t know what to do about it. Or how to tell me.
I closed my car door and walked closer to the porch. “What’s wrong, Eva?”
“Where are you going?” she asked. That wasn’t what I’d been expecting.
“Home. Why? You need something?”
She looked back at the house and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to stay here by myself with Jeremy gone. I normally sleep with my phone beside my bed and his number pulled up so all I have to do is press call. ”
Looked like I was staying there. I would not smile. I would not. But damn, I wanted to. “I got an extra pair of sweats and a T-shirt in my car. Let me grab them and then I’ll head out to the barn. Go on inside and relax. I’m not going anywhere. ”
She didn?
??t move. I went back to the car and got my things. Eva was still standing on the porch when I walked back her way. And she was still biting her lip and twirling her hair.
“What’s wrong? You’re still doing that thing with your hair and your lip,” I said.
She dropped her hand from her hair and stopped biting her lip. Then she sighed and pointed to the house. “There’s plenty of beds in the house. The barn is cold this time of year, and I won’t get any sleep if I’m worrying about you freezing out there. ”
I would not smile. Damn, that was hard. “Okay. If you’re sure. ’Cause I can get extra blankets and stay warm out there. ”
She shook her head. “No. That’s silly and pointless. Just come on inside. I didn’t make dinner, but I was thinking of making some chili. ”
I wanted to ask her about how Jeremy would feel about this, but I wanted her to tell me on her own. I didn’t want to force her to admit that she was no longer engaged. If she wanted to keep that to herself right now, then I would let her. I took the steps two at a time and stopped at the top. I opened the door then motioned for her to go inside. “After you,” I told her.
She smiled, and the relief in her eyes made me feel warm inside. I’d make sure my girl got some sleep tonight. She walked in and I followed behind her, feeling the first real hope since I’d started this a week ago. Eva wasn’t ready to forgive me and take me back, but she was willing to admit she needed me. That was good enough for now.
“Just take the room you used to sleep in,” she said, knowing it was rare that I actually slept in that room. We normally ended up in the barn together on those nights.
“I need a shower too. I’ll come help you with the chili after I get cleaned up. ”
She nodded. “Take your time,” she said, and I left her there without touching her. Without a kiss. I missed that. I missed the ability to touch her and hold her whenever I wanted to. I wondered if she missed it too.
* * *
After I got cleaned up and changed into my sweats, I headed downstairs to hear Eva humming while she chopped peppers. I couldn’t help but smile. She used to sing that song while doing some clapping thing with a cup. She’d seen it in a movie and thought it was fun. So many little things I missed.
“Where’s your cup?” I asked.
She stopped humming and glanced back at me. The grin on her face was playful. I had to take it slow that night. Because right then I wanted to take it very, very fast. “You managed to take just enough time to let me finish up. Now all I need to do is add these and let the chili simmer,” she said as she picked up the peppers.
I walked over and lifted the lid while she dropped the peppers into the pot.
“See, I showed up for the heavy lifting,” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. But I’m going to go shower now. You watch the pot. Stir it every five minutes or so. ”
I could do that.