CHAPTER XCVThat Jolly Old Lord Borabolla Laughs On Both Sides Of His Face
"A very good palace, this, coz, for you and me," said waddling oldBorabolla to Media, as, returned from our excursion, he slowlylowered himself down to his mat, sighing like a grampus.
By this, he again made known the vastness of his hospitality, whichled him for the nonce to parcel out his kingdom with his guests.
But apart from these extravagant expressions of good feeling,Borabolla was the prince of good fellows. His great tun of a personwas indispensable to the housing of his bullock-heart; under which,any lean wight would have sunk. But alas! unlike Media and Taji,Borabolla, though a crowned king, was accounted no demi-god; hisobesity excluding him from that honor. Indeed, in some quarters ofMardi, certain pagans maintain, that no fat man can be even immortal.A dogma! truly, which should be thrown to the dogs. For fat men arethe salt and savor of the earth; full of good humor, high spirits,fun, and all manner of jollity. Their breath clears the atmosphere:their exhalations air the world. Of men, they are the good measures;brimmed, heaped, pressed down, piled up, and running over. They areas ships from Teneriffe; swimming deep, full of old wine, and twentysteps down into their holds. Soft and susceptible, all round they areeasy of entreaty. Wherefore, for all their rotundity, they are toooften circumnavigated by hatchet-faced knaves. Ah! a fat uncle, witha fat paunch, and a fat purse, is a joy and a delight to allnephews; to philosophers, a subject of endless speculation, as to howmany droves of oxen and Lake Eries of wine might have run through hisgreat mill during the full term of his mortal career. Fat men notimmortal! This very instant, old Lambert is rubbing his jolly abdomenin Paradise.
Now, to the fact of his not being rated a demi-god, was perhapsascribable the circumstance, that Borabolla comported himself withless dignity, than was the wont of their Mardian majesties. And truthto say, to have seen him regaling himself with one of his favoritecuttle-fish, its long snaky arms and feelers instinctively twininground his head as he ate; few intelligent observers would have opinedthat the individual before them was the sovereign lord of Mondoldo.
But what of the banquet of fish? Shall we tell how the old kingungirdled himself thereto; how as the feast waxed toward its close,with one sad exception, he still remained sunny-sided all round; hisdisc of a face joyous as the South Side of Madeira in the hilariousseason of grapes? Shall we tell how we all grew glad and frank; andhow the din of the dinner was heard far into night?
We will.
When Media ate slowly, Borabolla took him to task, bidding himdispatch his viands more speedily.
Whereupon said Media "But Borabolla, my round fellow, that wouldabridge the pleasure."
"Not at all, my dear demi-god; do like me: eat fast and eat long."
In the middle of the feast, a huge skin of wine was brought in. Theportly peltry of a goat; its horns embattling its effigy head; itsmouth the nozzle; and its long beard flowed to its jet-black hoofs.With many ceremonial salams, the attendants bore it along, placing itat one end of the convivial mats, full in front of Borabolla; whereseated upon its haunches it made one of the party.
Brimming a ram's horn, the mellowest of bugles, Borabolla bowed tohis silent guest, and thus spoke--"In this wine, which yet smells ofthe grape, I pledge you my reverend old toper, my lord Capricornus;you alone have enough; and here's full skins to the rest!"
"How jolly he is," whispered Media to Babbalanja.
"Ay, his lungs laugh loud; but is laughing, rejoicing?"
"Help! help!" cried Borabolla "lay me down! lay me down! good gods,what a twinge!"
The goblet fell from his hand; the purple flew from his wine to hisface; and Borabolla fell back into the arms of his servitors. "Thatgout! that gout!" he groaned. "Lord! lord! no more cursed wine will Idrink!"
Then at ten paces distant, a clumsy attendant let fall a trencher--"Take it off my foot, you knave!"
Afar off another entered gallanting a calabash--"Look out for my toe,you hound!"
During all this, the attendants tenderly nursed him. And in goodtime, with its thousand fangs, the gout-fiend departed for a while.
Reprieved, the old king brightened up; by degrees becoming jollyas ever.
"Come! let us be merry again," he cried, "what shall we eat? and whatshall we drink? that infernal gout is gone; come, what will yourworships have?"
So at it once more we went.
But of our feast, little more remains to be related than this;--thatout of it, grew a wondrous kindness between Borabolla and Jarl.Strange to tell, from the first our fat host had regarded my Vikingwith a most friendly eye. Still stranger to add, this feeling wasreturned. But though they thus fancied each other, they were veryunlike; Borabolla and Jarl. Nevertheless, thus is it ever. And as theconvex fits not into the convex, but into the concave; so do men fitinto their opposites; and so fitted Borabolla's arched paunch intoJarl's, hollowed out to receive it.
But how now? Borabolla was jolly and loud: Jarl demure and silent;Borabolla a king: Jarl only a Viking;--how came they together? Veryplain, to repeat:--because they were heterogeneous; and hence theaffinity. But as the affinity between those chemical oppositeschlorine and hydrogen, is promoted by caloric; so the affinitybetween Borabolla and Jarl was promoted by the warmth of the winethat they drank at this feast. For of all blessed fluids, the juiceof the grape is the greatest foe to cohesion. True, it tightens thegirdle; but then it loosens the tongue, and opens the heart.
In sum, Borabolla loved Jarl; and Jarl, pleased with this sociablemonarch, for all his garrulity, esteemed him the most sensible oldgentleman and king he had as yet seen in Mardi. For this reason,perhaps; that his talkativeness favored that silence in listeners,which was my Viking's delight in himself.
Repeatedly during the banquet, our host besought Taji to allow hishenchman to remain on the island, after the rest of our party shoulddepart; and he faithfully promised to surrender Jarl, whenever weshould return to claim him.
But though I harbored no distrust of Borabolla's friendly intentions,I could not so readily consent to his request; for with Jarl for myone only companion, had I not both famished and feasted? was he notmy only link to things past?
Things past!--Ah Yillah! for all its mirth, and though we huntedwide, we found thee not in Mondoldo.
CHAPTER XCVISamoa A Surgeon
The second day of our stay in Mondoldo was signalized by a noteworthyexhibition of the surgical skill of Samoa; who had often boasted,that though well versed in the science of breaking men's heads, hewas equally an adept in mending their crockery.
Overnight, Borabolla had directed his corps of sea-divers to repairearly on the morrow, to a noted section of the great Mardian reef,for the purpose of procuring for our regalement some of the fineHawk's-bill turtle, whose secret retreats were among the cells andgalleries of that submerged wall of coral, from whose foamy coping noplummet dropped ever yet touched bottom.
These turtles were only to be obtained by diving far down under thesurface; and then swimming along horizontally, and peering into thecoral honeycomb; snatching at a flipper when seen, as at a pinion ina range of billing dove-cotes.
As the king's divers were thus employed, one of them, Karhownoo byname, perceived a Devil-shark, so called, swimming wistfully towardhim from out his summer grotto in the reef. No way petrified by thesight, and pursuing the usual method adopted by these divers in suchemergencies, Karhownoo, splashing the water, instantly swam towardthe stranger. But the shark, undaunted, advanced: a thing so unusual,and fearful, that, in an agony of fright, the diver shot up for thesurface. Heedless, he looked not up as he went; and when within a fewinches of the open air, dashed his head against a projection of thereef. He would have sank into the live tomb beneath, were itnot that three of his companions, standing on the brink, perceivedhis peril, and dragged him into safety.
Seeing the poor fellow was insensible, they endeavored,ineffectually, to revive him; and at last, placing him in theircanoe, made all haste for the shore. Here a cr
owd soon gathered, andthe diver was borne to a habitation, close adjoining Borabolla's;whence, hearing of the disaster, we sallied out to render assistance.
Upon entering the hut, the benevolent old king commanded it to becleared; and then proceeded to examine the sufferer.
The skull proved to be very badly fractured; in one place, splintered.
"Let me mend it," said Samoa, with ardor.
And being told of his experience in such matters, Borabollasurrendered the patient.
With a gourd of water, and a tappa cloth, the one-armed Upoluancarefully washed the wound; and then calling for a sharp splinter ofbamboo, and a thin, semi-transparent cup of cocoa-nut shell, he wentabout the operation: nothing less than the "Tomoti" (head-mending),in other words the trepan.
The patient still continuing insensible, the fragments weredisengaged by help of a bamboo scalpel; when a piece of the drinkingcup--previously dipped in the milk of a cocoanut--was nicely fittedinto the vacancy, the skin as nicely adjusted over it, and theoperation was complete.
And now, while all present were crying out in admiration of Samoa'sartistic skill, and Samoa himself stood complacently regarding hisworkmanship, Babbalanja suggested, that it might be well to ascertainwhether the patient survived. When, upon sounding his heart, thediver was found to be dead.
The bystanders loudly lamented; but declared the surgeon a man ofmarvelous science.
Returning to Borabolla's, much conversation ensued, concerning thesad scene we had witnessed, which presently branched into a learneddiscussion upon matters of surgery at large.
At length, Samoa regaled the company with a story; for the truth ofwhich no one but him can vouch, for no one but him was by, at thetime; though there is testimony to show that it involves nothing atvariance with the customs of certain barbarous tribes.
Read on.
CHAPTER XCVIIFaith And Knowledge
A thing incredible is about to be related; but a thing may beincredible and still be true; sometimes it is incredible because itis true. And many infidels but disbelieve the least incrediblethings; and many bigots reject the most obvious. But let us hold fastto all we have; and stop all leaks in our faith; lest an opening, butof a hand's breadth, should sink our seventy-fours. The wide Atlanticcan rush in at one port-hole; and if we surrender a plank, wesurrender the fleet. Panoplied in all the armor of St. Paul, morion,hauberk, and greaves, let us fight the Turks inch by inch, and yieldthem naught but our corpse.
But let us not turn round upon friends, confounding them with foes.For dissenters only assent to more than we. Though Milton was aheretic to the creed of Athanasius, his faith exceeded that ofAthanasius himself; and the faith of Athanasius that of Thomas, thedisciple, who with his own eyes beheld the mark of the nails. Whenceit comes that though we be all Christians now, the best of us hadperhaps been otherwise in the days of Thomas.
The higher the intelligence, the more faith, and the less credulity:Gabriel rejects more than we, but out-believes us all. The greatestmarvels are first truths; and first truths the last unto which weattain. Things nearest are furthest off. Though your ear be next-doorto your brain, it is forever removed from your sight. Man has a morecomprehensive view of the moon, than the man in the moon himself. Weknow the moon is round; he only infers it. It is because weourselves are in ourselves, that we know ourselves not. And it isonly of our easy faith, that we are not infidels throughout; and onlyof our lack of faith, that we believe what we do.
In some universe-old truths, all mankind are disbelievers. Do youbelieve that you lived three thousand years ago? That you were at thetaking of Tyre, were overwhelmed in Gomorrah? No. But for me, I wasat the subsiding of the Deluge, and helped swab the ground, and buildthe first house. With the Israelites, I fainted in the wilderness;was in court, when Solomon outdid all the judges before him. I, itwas, who suppressed the lost work of Manetho, on the Egyptiantheology, as containing mysteries not to be revealed to posterity,and things at war with the canonical scriptures; I, who originatedthe conspiracy against that purple murderer, Domitian; I, who in thesenate moved, that great and good Aurelian be emperor. I instigatedthe abdication of Diocletian, and Charles the Fifth; I touchedIsabella's heart, that she hearkened to Columbus. I am he, that fromthe king's minions hid the Charter in the old oak at Hartford; Iharbored Goffe and Whalley: I am the leader of the Mohawk masks, whoin the Old Commonwealth's harbor, overboard threw the East IndiaCompany's Souchong; I am the Vailed Persian Prophet; I, the man inthe iron mask; I, Junius.
CHAPTER XCVIIIThe Tale Of A Traveler
It was Samoa, who told the incredible tale; and he told it as atraveler. But stay-at-homes say travelers lie. Yet a voyage toEthiopia would cure them of that; for few skeptics are travelers;fewer travelers liars, though the proverb respecting them lies. It isfalse, as some say, that Bruce was cousin-german to Baron Munchausen;but true, as Bruce said, that the Abysinnians cut live steaks fromtheir cattle. It was, in good part, his villainous transcribers, whomade monstrosities of Mandeville's travels. And though all liars goto Gehenna; yet, assuming that Mandeville died before Dante; still,though Dante took the census of Hell, we find not Sir John, under thelikeness of a roasted neat's tongue, in that infernalest of infernos,The Inferno.
But let not the truth be postponed. To the stand, Samoa, and throughyour interpreter, speak.
Once upon a time, during his endless sea-rovings, the Upoluan wascalled upon to cobble the head of a friend, grievously hurt in adesperate fight of slings.
Upon examination, that part of the brain proving as much injured asthe cranium itself, a young pig was obtained; and preliminaries beingover, part of its live brain was placed in the cavity, the trepanaccomplished with cocoanut shell, and the scalp drawn over and secured.
This man died not, but lived. But from being a warrior of great senseand spirit, he became a perverse-minded and piggish fellow, showingmany of the characteristics of his swinish grafting. He survived theoperation more than a year; at the end of that period, however, goingmad, and dying in his delirium.
Stoutly backed by the narrator, this anecdote was credited by somepresent. But Babbalanja held out to the last.
"Yet, if this story be true," said he, "and since it is well settled,that our brains are somehow the organs of sense; then, I see not whyhuman reason could not be put into a pig, by letting into its craniumthe contents of a man's. I have long thought, that men, pigs, andplants, are but curious physiological experiments; and that sciencewould at last enable philosophers to produce new species of beings,by somehow mixing, and concocting the essential ingredients ofvarious creatures; and so forming new combinations. My friendAtahalpa, the astrologer and alchymist, has long had a jar, in whichhe has been endeavoring to hatch a fairy, the ingredients beingcompounded according to a receipt of his own."
But little they heeded Babbalanja. It was the traveler's tale thatmost arrested attention.
Tough the thews, and tough the tales of Samoa.
CHAPTER XCIX"Marnee Ora, Ora Marnee"
During the afternoon of the day of the diver's decease, preparationswere making for paying the last rites to his remains, and carryingthem by torch-light to their sepulcher, the sea; for, as in Odo, sowas the custom here.
Meanwhile, all over the isle, to and fro went heralds, dismallyarrayed, beating shark-skin drums; and, at intervals, crying--"A manis dead; let no fires be kindled; have mercy, oh Oro!--Let no canoesput to sea till the burial. This night, oh Oro!--Let no food be cooked."
And ever and anon, passed and repassed these, others in brave attire;with castanets of pearl shells, making gay music; and these sang--
Be merry, oh men of Mondoldo, A maiden this night is to wed: Be merry, oh damsels of Mardi,-- Flowers, flowers for the bridal bed.
Informed that the preliminary rites were about being rendered, werepaired to the arbor, whither the body had been removed.
Arrayed in white, it was laid out on a mat; its arms mutely crossed,between its lips an asphodel; at the feet, a wi
thered hawthorn bough.
The relatives were wailing, and cutting themselves with shells, sothat blood flowed, and spotted their vesture.
Upon remonstrating with the most abandoned of these mourners, thewife of the diver, she exclaimed, "Yes; great is the pain, butgreater my affliction."
Another, the deaf sire of the dead, went staggering about, andgroping; saying, that he was now quite blind; for some monthsprevious he had lost one eye in the death of his eldest son and nowthe other was gone.
"I am childless," he cried; "henceforth call me Roi Mori," that is,Twice-Blind.
While the relatives were thus violently lamenting, the rest of thecompany occasionally scratched themselves with their shells; but veryslightly, and mostly on the soles of their feet; from long exposure,quite callous. This was interrupted, however, when the real mournersaverted their eyes; though at no time was there any deviation in thelength of their faces.
But on all sides, lamentations afresh broke forth, upon theappearance of a person who had been called in to assist insolemnizing the obsequies, and also to console the afflicted.
In rotundity, he was another Borabolla. He puffed and panted.
As he approached the corpse, a sobbing silence ensued; when holdingthe hand of the dead, between his, the stranger thus spoke:--
"Mourn not, oh friends of Karhownoo, that this your brother livesnot. His wounded head pains him no more; he would not feel it, did ajavelin pierce him. Yea; Karhownoo is exempt from all the ills andevils of this miserable Mardi!"