LETTER V

  MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.SUNDAY.

  Have been at church, Jack--behaved admirably well too! My charmer ispleased with me now: for I was exceedingly attentive to the discourse,and very ready in the auditor's part of the service.--Eyes did not muchwander. How could they, when the loveliest object, infinitely theloveliest in the whole church, was in my view!

  Dear creature! how fervent, how amiable, in her devotions! I have gother to own that she prayed for me. I hope a prayer from so excellent amind will not be made in vain.

  There is, after all, something beautifully solemn in devotion. TheSabbath is a charming institution to keep the heart right, when it isright. One day in seven, how reasonable!--I think I'll go to church oncea day often. I fancy it will go a great way towards making me a reformedman. To see multitudes of well-appearing people all joining in onereverend act. An exercise how worthy of a rational being! Yet it adds asting or two to my former stings, when I think of my projects with regardto this charming creature. In my conscience, I believe, if I were to goconstantly to church, I could not pursue them.

  I had a scheme come into my head while there; but I will renounce it,because it obtruded itself upon me in so good a place. Excellentcreature! How many ruins has she prevented by attaching me to herself--by engrossing my whole attention.

  But let me tell thee what passed between us in my first visit of thismorning; and then I will acquaint thee more largely with my goodbehaviour at church.

  I could not be admitted till after eight. I found her ready prepared togo out. I pretended to be ignorant of her intention, having chargedDorcas not to own that she had told me of it.

  Going abroad, Madam?--with an air of indifference.

  Yes, Sir: I intend to go to church.

  I hope, Madam, I shall have the honour to attend you.

  No: she designed to take a chair, and go to the next church.

  This startled me:--A chair to carry her to the next church from Mrs.Sinclair's, her right name not Sinclair, and to bring her back hitherin the face of people who might not think well of the house!--There wasno permitting that. Yet I was to appear indifferent. But said, I shouldtake it for a favour, if she would permit me to attend her in a coach, asthere was time for it, to St. Paul's.

  She made objections to the gaiety of my dress; and told me, that if shewent to St. Paul's, she could go in a coach without me.

  I objected Singleton and her brother, and offered to dress in theplainest suit I had.

  I beg the favour of attending you, dear Madam, said I. I have not beenat church a great while; we shall sit in different stalls, and the nexttime I go, I hope it will be to give myself a title to the greatestblessing I can receive.

  She made some further objections: but at last permitted me the honour ofattending her.

  I got myself placed in her eye, that the time might not seem tedious tome, for we were there early. And I gained her good opinion, as Imentioned above, by my behaviour.

  The subject of the discourse was particular enough: It was about aprophet's story or parable of an ewe-lamb taken by a rich man from a poorone, who dearly loved it, and whose only comfort it was: designed tostrike remorse into David, on his adultery with Uriah's wife Bathsheba,and his murder of the husband. These women, Jack, have been the occasionof all manner of mischief from the beginning! Now, when David, full ofindignation, swore [King David would swear, Jack: But how shouldst thouknow who King David was?--The story is in the Bible,] that the rich manshould surely die; Nathan, which was the prophet's name, and a goodingenious fellow, cried out, (which were the words of the text,) Thou artthe man! By my soul I thought the parson looked directly at me; and atthat moment I cast my eye full on my ewe-lamb.--But I must tell thee too,that, that I thought a good deal of my Rosebud.--A better man than KingDavid, in that point, however, thought I!

  When we came home we talked upon the subject; and I showed my charmer myattention to the discourse, by letting her know where the Doctor made themost of his subject, and where it might have been touched to greateradvantage: for it is really a very affecting story, and has as pretty acontrivance in it as ever I read. And this I did in such a grave way,that she seemed more and more pleased with me; and I have no doubt, thatI shall get her to favour me to-morrow night with her company at mycollation.

  SUNDAY EVENING.

  We all dined together in Mrs. Sinclair's parlour:--All excessively right!The two nieces have topped their parts--Mrs. Sinclair her's. Never wasso easy as now!--'She really thought a little oddly of these people atfirst, she said! Mrs. Sinclair seemed very forbidding! Her nieces werepersons with whom she could not wish to be acquainted. But really weshould not be too hasty in our censures. Some people improve upon us.The widow seems tolerable.' She went no farther than tolerable.--'MissMartin and Miss Horton are young people of good sense, and have read agreat deal. What Miss Martin particularly said of marriage, and of herhumble servant, was very solid. She believes with such notions shecannot make a bad wife.' I have said Sally's humble servant is a woolen-draper of great reputation; and she is soon to be married.

  I have been letting her into thy character, and into the characters of myother three esquires, in hopes to excite her curiosity to see youto-morrow night. I have told her some of the worst, as well as bestparts of your characters, in order to exalt myself, and to obviate anysudden surprizes, as well as to teach her what sort of men she may expectto see, if she will oblige me with her company.

  By her after-observation upon each of you, I shall judge what I may ormay not do to obtain or keep her good opinion; what she will like, orwhat not; and so pursue the one or avoid the other, as I see proper. So,while she is penetrating into your shallow heads, I shall enter herheart, and know what to bid my own to hope for.

  The house is to be taken in three weeks.--All will be over in threeweeks, or bad will be my luck!--Who knows but in three days?--Have I notcarried that great point of making her pass for my wife to the peoplebelow? And that other great one, of fixing myself here night and day?--What woman ever escaped me, who lodged under one roof with me?--Thehouse too, THE house; the people--people after my own heart; herservants, Will. and Dorcas, both my servants.--Three days, did I say!Pho! Pho! Pho!--three hours!

  ***

  I have carried my third point: but so extremely to the dislike of mycharmer, that I have been threatened, for suffering Miss Partington to beintroduced to her without her leave. Which laid her under a necessity todeny or comply with the urgent request of so fine a young lady; who hadengaged to honour me at my collation, on condition that my beloved wouldbe present at it.

  To be obliged to appear before my friends as what she was not! She wasfor insisting, that I should acquaint the women here with the truth ofthe matter; and not go on propagating stories for her to countenance,making her a sharer in my guilt.

  But what points will not perseverance carry? especially when it iscovered over with the face of yielding now, and, Parthian-like, returningto the charge anon. Do not the sex carry all their points with their menby the same methods? Have I conversed with them so freely as I havedone, and learnt nothing of them? Didst thou ever know that a woman'sdenial of any favour, whether the least or the greatest, that my heartwas set upon, stood her in any stead? The more perverse she, the moresteady I--that is my rule.

  But the point thus so much against her will carried, I doubt thou willsee in her more of a sullen than of an obliging charmer: for, when MissPartington was withdrawn, 'What was Miss Partington to her? In hersituation she wanted no new acquaintances. And what were my four friendsto her in her present circumstances? She would assure me, if ever again'--And there she stopped, with a twirl of her hand.

  When we meet, I will, in her presence, tipping thee a wink, show thee themotion, for it was a very pretty one. Quite new. Yet have I seen anhundred pretty passionate twirls too, in my time, from other fair-ones.How universally engaging is it to put a woman of sense, to whom a
man isnot married, in a passion, let the reception given to every rantingscene in our plays testify. Take care, my charmer, now thou art come todelight me with thy angry twirls, that thou temptest me not to provoke avariety of them from one, whose every motion, whose every air, carries init so much sense and soul.

  But, angry or pleased, this charming creature must be all loveliness.Her features are all harmony, and made for one another. No other featurecould be substituted in the place of any one of her's but most abate ofher perfection: And think you that I do not long to have your opinion ofmy fair prize?

  If you love to see features that glow, though the heart is frozen, andnever yet was thawed; if you love fine sense, and adages flowing throughteeth of ivory and lips of coral; an eye that penetrates all things; avoice that is harmony itself; an air of grandeur, mingled with asweetness that cannot be described; a politeness that, if ever equaled,was never excelled--you'll see all these excellencies, and ten timesmore, in this my GLORIANA.

  Mark her majestic fabric!--She's a temple, Sacred by birth, and built by hands divine; Her soul the deity that lodges there: Nor is the pile unworthy of the god.

  Or, to describe her in a softer style with Rowe,

  The bloom of op'ning flow'rs, unsully'd beauty, Softness, and sweetest innocence she wears, And looks like nature in the world's first spring.

  Adieu, varlets four!--At six, on Monday evening, I expect ye all.