FADE IN:
INT. BEVERLY HILLS HIGH HALLWAY – MORNING
A busy morning, students headed down the halls to class. NIKKI DESMOND and CANDICE COLLINS, 16, a pair of spoiled rich sistas in designer clothes stand next to their lockers getting their books for the next class. Candice asks–
CANDICE
Nikki, did you bring your Math take-home Quiz?
NIKKI
Yeah, what happened to yours?
CANDICE
(Pulling out her worksheet)
Oh, I have my worksheet. I just don’t have the answers.
Nikki pulls her worksheet from her notebook. Before she hands it to Candice she requests–
NIKKI
Ten bucks.
CANDICE
That’s robbery–
NIKKI
We’ve got five minutes before class–
Candice reaches into her purse. She’s about to hand Nikki $10 when–
CANDICE
These all better be right–
Up strolls SEAN BASTION, 16. A fat nerd dressed in a LOUD floral print shirt, baggy blue jeans, and high-top basketball sneakers. He flashes a cheesy grin at the girls as Nikki is about to take Candice’s money–
SEAN
Yo, Candy Girl, I can give you those answers for free–
Hearing the lower price, Candice pulls her money away from Nikki. Sean opens his notebook–
NIKKI
Hey–
CaNDICE
Compared to what you’re offering, it’s homework at a bargain price. Hook a sister up Sean.
Sean hands Candice his worksheet. Candice copies answers as–
Sean smiles at Nikki ready to put his macking game into play. Nikki folds her arms and rolls her eyes.
SEAN
Yo, Beverly Hills, can I rap to you for a minute–
NIKKI
You cost me money Sean–
SEAN
Nah, nah, that was just a ploy to get your girl out the way so I could holler at you–
Nikki sets her watch.
NIKKI
One minute. The clock is ticking.
Nikki follows Sean down the hall outside of–
ROOM 439
And leans on the wall. Sean lays his rap out–
SEAN
So what you doing Saturday night Beverly Hills?
Nikki isn’t interested.
NIKKI
I’m washing my hair.
SEAN
Washing your hair? Come on, I know ya’ll Beverly Hills Honeys don’t roll like that on the weekends–
NIKKI
Well, I know how you’re rolling big boy. Pizza at six, Star Trek Deep Space Nine at seven, Hercules at eight, Xena Warrior Princess at nine, followed by a couple of rounds of Mortal Kombat and Tomb Raider and then you cry yourself to sleep around midnight once you realize how pathetic your life is.
SEAN
Nah, I got game. I video tape them joints to watch later–
NIKKI
Way too much information. Thirty seconds–
SEAN
C’mon Beverly Hills, don’t be like that. I want to do something special wit’cha this weekend–
NIKKI
What? Go to the comic book store?
SEAN
You stepping a little fast to player. Those were the plans for the second date–
Nikki hisses at Sean and rolls her eyes.
NIKKI
Sci-fi, video games, and comic books. You are so lame–
SEAN
Yo, Hercules and Xena ain’t Sci-fi. It’s mythical fantasy.
NIKKI
The fact that you know the difference between the two is not a selling point.
SEAN
Don’t knock it till you try it Beverly Hills–
An annoyed Nikki checks her watch BEEP! BEEP!–
NIKKI
…And that’s one minute. I don’t have to talk to you anymore.
It’s game over for Sean when–
BRRRING! The bell rings. Kids file into class as Sean tells Nikki–
SEAN
You know you foul–
NIKKI
Not as foul as you are on Saturday night. Don’t wear out your game thumbs in the bathroom this weekend.
Candice walks over and overhears the wicked dis.
CANDICE
Ouch. Nikki Desmond Wins. Fatality.
Nikki and Candice head into class. Sean ponders his next move…
LATER
INT. BEVERLY HILLS HIGH CAFETERIA – AFTERNOON
A busy social hub with students relaxing and hanging out over lunch. Nikki and Candice chat while having chicken sandwiches and Cokes.
CANDICE
So what did Sean want this morning?
NIKKI
Divide and conquer. Give you his test answers and while you’re copying them he lays his weak rap on me.
CANDICE
You got Big Macked? I feel so sorry for you–
NIKKI
Ugh. I can still feel the special sauce all over me. I don’t know what’s worse, his stank breath or his corny lines–
CANDICE
You’d think the first thing a so called ladies man would do is buy some breath mints–
NIKKI
Maybe he didn’t have enough money after comic books–
Across the cafeteria Candice notices–
Sean at the cafeteria entrance.
CaNdice
Oh no, it’s the loverman again–
Nikki grimaces as–
Sean heads over to Nikki and Candice’s lunch table with a clumsy pimp stroll. The girls roll their eyes as he eases into a seat next to Nikki and flashes a goofy smile.
SEAN
S’up Beverly Hills?
CANDICE
She’s not interested–
SEAN
Don’t hate Candy Girl. I got a whole lot of love to spread around.
CANDICE
Don’t be so desperate–
SEAN
Look, if you want your shot at all this sexiness you gonna have to wait your turn.
CANDICE
Sexiness? Please. Have some dignity–
SEAN
Dignity? You the one acting all jealous–
Nikki smiles as reaches into her backpack for a pack of Tic-Tacs. She’s up to something.
NIKKI
(Opening up Tic-Tacs)
It’s okay Candice. I was a little harsh earlier. Breath mint?
Candice hands Sean a breath mint. He scarves it down and flashes her a smile as he prepares his rap–
SEAN
Thanks. So, Beverly Hills, can a brotha buy you a pack of cookies?
Nikki smiles at Sean.
NIKKI
Can I get a Coke too?
SEAN
Anything you want Beverly Hills. Money is no object.
CANDICE
Nikki, don’t encourage him–
NIKKI
It’s a free pack of cookies Candice.
A clueless Sean smiles as they get up and head over to the–
CONCESSION STAND
Where Sean places his order.
SEAN
One pack of cookies and a Coke. What’s going on with your girl?
NIKKI
You’re just coming on too strong for her. She’s just not on your level of game–
SEAN
So do you want me to show you my level of game on Saturday night?
Sean pays for the order and hands the soda and cookies to Nikki. She retorts–
Nikki
Nope. Thanks for the snack though.
Leaving Sean looking like a sucker, Nikki heads back to the–
LUNCH TABLE
And flops into the chair next to Candice.
Candice
So what are you really doing Saturday Night?
NIKKI
Going to the movies with you. Cookie?
Candice takes a cookie f
rom Nikki.
Candice
Man, that was pretty cold.
Nikki
Hey, dude set himself up. I had to go in for the kill.
Sean thinks about a way to woo Nikki as–
BRRRRING! The class bell rings.
LATER
INT. DESMOND MANOR LIVING ROOM – AFTERNOON
RUMSFELD, 61, a polished British servant is dusting the furniture when–
BAM! Nikki and Candice come home from school. They head for the sofa–
Rumsfeld
Good Afternoon Miss Desmond. How was school?
NIKKI
The usual Rumsfeld. Reading, writing, ridiculousness.
CANDICE
And now we go to do mountains of homework.
The girls are setting up a homework camp when–
DING DONG! The doorbell rings. Rumsfeld opens the door to–
Sean’s goofy smile. He lounges in the doorway dressed in a white silk suit carrying a dozen long stem roses and a huge heart shaped box full of chocolates. Rumsfeld isn’t impressed.
RUMSFeld
May I help you young man?
SEAN
I’m looking for Nikki.
RUMSfeld
And you are–
SEAN
Sean Bastion, gentleman caller extraordinaire. I’ll let myself in.
Rumsfeld grimaces as–
Sean strolls into the living room. Nikki and Candice jump off the sofa and scowl at him.
Nikki
What do you want Sean?
SEAn
Romance sweetness. After lunch I realized what a Beverly Hills Honey like you wants– Money and gifts. These are for you baby.
Sean hands Nikki the roses and the candy. He gets on one knee. Nikki rolls her eyes and–
SEAN
If you go out with me I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget. This is just a sample of what you’ll get on Saturday night.
Comes up with a scheme. She pretends to blush–
NIKKI
Wow. You’ve left some impression on me.
SEAN
I do have that effect on the ladies.
NIKKI
I mean, I’m really floored. So much that I’ve got something I’m going to give you right now–
SEAN
What is it baby? A kiss?
Nikki flashes a devilish smile as Sean closes his eyes and puckers his lips then frowns as–
SMASH! She slams the box of chocolates over Sean’s head. He wears it over his head like a wreath as Nikki dumps the roses on his head like a dunce hat.
NIKKI
A clue. I’m not interested.
SEAN
But I bought you gifts–
NIKKI
Rumsfeld, what I would use this crap for?
RUMSFELD
Why Miss Desmond, you’d grind it into mulch for the garden.
Nikki grabs Sean by the scruff of his neck and escorts him to the door. Rumsfeld requests–
RUMSFELD
One moment Miss Desmond.
Rumsfeld takes a candy from of the box around Sean’s neck and scarves it down before–
RUMSFELD
Mmmmm…Buttercream.
SLAM! Slamming the door in his face. Nikki returns to the sofa and asks–
NIKKI
Candice, do you have your history notes?
candice
Right here.
The girls study until…
LATER
When SLAM! Nikki’s father DONALD DESMOND, 45, walks in tired from work chatting on a cell phone. He’s getting an earful as–
Rumsfeld takes his briefcase. He glares at Nikki–
DONALD
Yes, Yes, Mr. Bastion, I’ll talk to Nicole about her behavior. Thank you.
Donald hangs up. The girls jump off the couch–
DOnald
I just got off the phone with Mark Bastion. He says you humiliated his son Sean this afternoon–
NIKKI
Humiliate him? He’s the one who came here dressed up like Mr. Smooth Operator. I just cancelled his attempt at a love connection.
Donald
Rumsfeld is that true?
RUMSFELD
He had buttercreams. Quite delicious.
donald
Still it gives you no reason to mistreat him–
CANDICE
But Mr. Desmond, Sean just doesn’t get the message. He just keeps asking Nikki out even though she told him no three times–
donald
Still, you girls could have been a bit more tactful.
NIKKI
There’s no way to be tactful when telling a guy who’s crushing on you that you don’t like them. It’s like pulling off a band-aid, it’s just one of those things that’s gonna hurt.
donald
I just think you need to be a bit more sensitive towards this boy’s feelings–
NIKKI
Dad, I’m being sensitive as I can possibly be. Even for me.
DONALD
I don’t know–
NIKKI
Would you rather I went out on a series of meaningless dates with him, strung him along, took all his gifts, and then dumped him?
Donald is stumped.
DONALD
Well, it is one of those gray areas–
NIKKI
Dad I’m not the bad guy this time. Sean’s gonna get his heart ripped out of his chest and stepped on whether it’s by me, Candice, or some other poor girl at school. It’s the circle of life.
CANDICE
Let’s face it Mr. Desmond there’s no way to spare the feelings of a teenage boy. They’re too stupid to understand anything that complex.
DONALD
I guess. But no more stunts like the one today.
NIKKI
Okay, no more stunts. But if he starts with us again the gloves are off.
The girls grab their books and hurry upstairs–
While Nikki’s puzzled Dad takes a seat on the sofa. Rumsfeld inquires–
RUMSFELD
Something on your mind sir?
DONALD
Nicole actually makes sense.
RUMSFELD
Unfortunately, first love is never a pleasant experience.
DONALD
A girl you liked back in the day shot you down Rumsfeld?
RUMSFELD
I’ve been blown to pieces many times sir.
DONALD
Yeah, the same thing happened to me back in the day. Hurt like the devil though–
RUMSFELD
It always does sir.
DONALD
Was Nikki really cruel to this boy?
RUMSFELD
She was as tactful as she possibly could be to a teenage boy sir. Even for her limited sensitivities.
DONALD
I wish there was something I could do–
RUMSFELD
Perhaps it would be best to not get involved sir. Teenage love can be quite complicated.
DONALD
It can be quite cruel too.
The next day–
EXT. BEVERLY HILLS MULTIPLEX BOX OFFICE – NIGHT
A high end movie theater for the rich and famous. The place for a teen to be on Saturday night. Watching the line, Nikki’s Dad dressed like a security guard in a crinkle jacket and a ballcap relays a message into a walkie-talkie–
DONALD
Rumsfeld are you in position?
Across at the–
TICKET RIP
Rumsfeld dresses in a the same outfit responds–
RUMSFELD
I am in position sir. Are you sure Miss Desmond won’t recognize us?
DONALD
I’m sure. Besides, we won’t be here long. The guards we paid will be back from their break in fifteen minutes.
RUMSFELD
Sir, do you think Miss Desmond will appreciate our infringement on her privacy?
DONALD
I know Nicole
can handle herself. But just want to see who this kid is and see how far he’s taking things. If things get too hot for her, we’ll move in.
RUMSFELD
Affirmative sir.
Rumsfeld rips the tickets of moviegoers as–
Nikki and Candice enter the theatre. They wait in line to buy tickets–
NIKKI
So what did you get on the take-home quiz?
CANDICE
Seventy. What did you get?
NIKKI
A hundred.
CANDICE
Man, I knew I should have bought the answers from you–
NIKKI
What’d you expect taking answers from a loser like Sean Bastion?
CANDICE
I expected at least an eighty. Man, he can’t even get being a nerd right–
NIKKI
I know. So what do you want to see tonight?
CANDICE
I hear The Cassandra Cookbook is great.
NIKKI
Sounds like a recipe for fun. I’ll get the tickets, you get the snacks.
The girls walk up to the–
BOX OFFICE
NIKKI
Two tickets for The Cassandra Cookbook–
Nikki is about to reach into her purse when–
Sean cuts the line dressed in a blue Smooth Operator suit. He slams his money on the counter as–
SEAN
I’ve got it babycakes.
Donald watches from afar. Nikki rolls her eyes.
NIKKI
I’ll pay my own way thank you.
Nikki pays for the tickets. She and Candice get their tickets ripped by Rumsfeld and wait on line at the–
CONCESSION STAND
A long line. Sean follows–
SEAN
Look, why you keep dissing me?
NIKKI
Why do you keep stalking me?
SEaN
Look, all I wanted was one date Beverly Hills. Now that we’re here let a brotha show you a good time–
NIKKI
I can’t believe you’re gonna pull a drive-by-date on me–
SEAN
You ain’t had to lie and say you were washing your hair–
CANDICE
Man, why can’t you take no for an answer?
The girls are about to continue arguing when–
Nikki’s Dad and Rumsfeld move in–
DONALD
Excuse me sir, I’m going to have to insist you come with us.
RUMSFELD
Enjoy your show girls.
CANDICE
Y’know one of those guards looks like your Dad–
NIKKI
Probably a coincidence.
Nikki and Candice wait on line as the nervous Sean is escorted into the–
THEATER BATHROOM
Empty and quiet. The guards take off their hats to reveal–
Nikki’s Dad and Rumsfeld!
Sean is taken aback–
SEAN
Ya’ll Nikki’s folks!
DONALD
That’s right. I don’t appreciate you harassing my daughter.
SEAN
I’m not harassing your daughter Mr. Desmond. I just wanted a date–
DONALD
And she told you no. Four times. Isn’t that enough?
SEAN
But my brother tells me that’s just how sistas be. They’re playing hard to get–
RUmsfeld
I assure you Miss Desmond is not playing hard to get young man.
SEAN
I’m just trying to get Nikki to like me. I got a thing for her–
DONALD
But she doesn’t have a thing for you. Now she’s told you that several times and now I’m telling you to leave her alone.
SEAN
But my brother says sometimes you have to keep doing things to make a girl like you–
DONALD
Is he dating someone right now?
SEAN
No.
DONALD
Keep pulling stunts like this on girls and you’ll be sitting right next to him on Saturday night for the rest of your life.
SEAN
I was just trying to be nice–
DONALD
Look, it’s not nice to keep asking the same girl out after she says no.
SEAN
I just don’t want to look weak–
DONALD
Tell me, how do you look to all those other girls out there being constantly being shot down by the same girl?
Sean thinks about it.
SEAN
I ain’t never thought about it like that–
DONALD
Sean, corny lines, gifts and flashy clothes aren’t gonna get you a date.
SEAN
So how am I supposed to get a girl then?
Rumsfeld and Mr. Desmond are ready to break it down.
RUmsfeld
Honesty always works when courting the fairer sex.
DONALD
As is the ability to take rejection. Lots of rejection.
SEAN
Man, dating is hard.
DONALD
It’s never all fun and games.
SEAN
So I should just move on?
DONALD
There’s four billion women who could be interested in you right now. But if you keep harassing my daughter, I guarantee you’ll never get shot at asking any of them out.
Sean understands Mr. Desmond’s warning.
SEAN
Maybe I should apologize to your daughter.
DONALD
That would be a start.
Sean heads out of the bathroom–
BACK to the concession stand
Where Nikki and Candice are still waiting in line. As he approaches, Nikki huffs a sigh.
NIKKI
Don’t you know when to stop? Leave us alone–
SEAN
Look– I ain’t gonna bother y’all no more. I just want to say I’m sorry about the way I treated you earlier.
Nikki thinks about it and decides to–
NIKKI
Okay. Apology accepted Sean.
Sean has something to ask Nikki before he walks away–
SEAN
I know I messed up with you but what was I doing wrong…You know, from a woman’s perspective?
Nikki is ready to share what she knows.
NIKKI
First off, girls have names. When you approach us we’re not babycakes, sweetie or honey. Second, don’t play stupid games like drive-by dates, or divide and conquer–
SEAN
I thought I was being cool–
NIKKI
That stuff is dishonest. All it’s gonna get you in is trouble.
SEAN
I thought that’s what girls liked.
CANdice
All you have to do is be yourself. You’d be surprised on how well it works at getting a girl to talk to you.
SEAN
And how would I know if a girl likes me?
nikki
We have ways of letting you know.
sean
Well how would I know that?
Candice
You just have to watch the signs.
Nikki notices two girls over at the–
VIDEO GAMES
Looking over Sean’s way. Nikki lets him know–
NIKKI
Look, that girl over there has her eye on you. Why don’t you talk to her?
SEAN
I–I don’t know–
Candice
All she can say is no. Just give it a shot.
Sean
O-okay.
A nervous Sean walks over to the video games and talks to the girls being himself. In a moment–
He’s having a conversation with them and showing them how to play the game.
back at the concession stand
Candice is about to place the order.
CANdice br />
Two medium popcorns and two large cokes. You want Junior mints Nikki?
Nikki
Yeah. And large nachos.
Candice
I thought you wanted to watch your weight–
nikki
Hey, it’s Saturday and I’m not on a date–
Nikki notices–
Something about the two guards as they pass by. The guard tells Nikki–
DONALD
Enjoy your evening ladies.
NIKKI
Thanks Dad.
Nikki’s father smiles as he leaves–
FAde Out:
The End
ALL ABOUT NIKKI
EPISODE 1.08
“ALL ABOUT WORK”