Methought I was -- and methought I had -- but man is but
a patched210 fool if he will offer to say what methought I had.
The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not211
seen, man's hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive,
nor his heart to report, what my dream was. I will get Peter
Quince to write a ballad of this dream: it shall be called
'Bottom's215 Dream', because it hath no bottom; and I will sing it in the latter end of a play, before the duke. Peradventure216, to make it the more gracious, I shall sing it at her217 death.
Exit
[Act 4 Scene 2]
running scene 6
Enter Quince, Flute, Snout and Starveling
QUINCE Have you sent to Bottom's house? Is he come home yet?
STARVELING He cannot be heard of. Out of doubt he is transported.
FLUTE If he come not, then the play is marred. It goes not forward5, doth it?
QUINCE It is not possible: you have not a man in all Athens able to discharge7 Pyramus but he.
FLUTE No, he hath simply the best wit8 of any handicraft man in Athens.
QUINCE Yea, and the best person10 too, and he is a very paramour11 for a sweet voice.
FLUTE You must say 'paragon'. A paramour is, God bless us, a thing of naught13.
Enter Snug the joiner
SNUG Masters, the duke is coming from the temple, and there is two or three lords and ladies more married. If our
sport had gone forward, we had all been made men16.
FLUTE O sweet bully Bottom! Thus hath he lost sixpence a17
day during his life; he could not have scaped18 sixpence a day.
An19 the duke had not given him sixpence a day for playing Pyramus, I'll be hanged. He would have deserved it.
Sixpence a day in Pyramus, or nothing.
Enter Bottom
BOTTOM Where are these lads? Where are these hearts22?
QUINCE Bottom! O most courageous day! O most happy hour!
BOTTOM Masters, I am to discourse wonders: but ask me not what, for if I tell you, I am no true Athenian. I will tell you
everything as it fell out27.
QUINCE Let us hear, sweet Bottom.
BOTTOM Not a word of29 me. All that I will tell you is that the duke hath dined. Get your apparel together, good strings30 to your beards, new ribbons to your pumps. Meet presently31 at the palace, every man look o'er his part, for the short and the
long is, our play is preferred33. In any case, let Thisbe have clean linen, and let not him that plays the lion pare34 his nails, for they shall hang out for the lion's claws. And, most dear
actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet
breath, and I do not doubt but to hear them say, it is a sweet
comedy. No more words: away! Go, away!
Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 1
running scene 7
Enter Theseus, Hippolyta, Egeus, and his lords
HIPPOLYTA 'Tis strange, my Theseus, that1 these lovers speak of.
THESEUS More strange than true. I never may believe These antic fables, nor these fairy toys3.
Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,
Such shaping fantasies that apprehend5
More than cool reason ever comprehends.
The lunatic, the lover and the poet
Are of imagination all compact8.
One sees more devils than vast hell can hold;
That is the madman. The lover, all as frantic10, Sees Helen's beauty in a brow of Egypt11.
The poet's eye, in a fine frenzy rolling,
Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven,
And as imagination bodies forth14
The forms of things unknown, the poet's pen
Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name.
Such tricks hath strong imagination,
That if it would but apprehend19 some joy, It comprehends20 some bringer of that joy.
Or in the night, imagining some fear,
How easy is a bush supposed a bear!
HIPPOLYTA But all the story of the night told over, And all their minds transfigured24 so together, More witnesseth25 than fancy's images And grows to something of great constancy26; But howsoever, strange and admirable27.
Enter lovers: Lysander, Demetrius, Hermia, Helena
THESEUS Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth.
Joy, gentle friends! Joy and fresh days of love
Accompany your hearts!
LYSANDER More than to us
Wait in your royal walks, your board32, your bed!
THESEUS Come now, what masques33, what dances shall we have, To wear away this long age of three hours
Between our after-supper35 and bedtime?
Where is our usual manager of mirth?
What revels are in hand? Is there no play
To ease the anguish of a torturing hour?
Call Egeus.
EGEUS Here, mighty Theseus.
THESEUS Say, what abridgement41 have you for this evening?
What masque? What music? How shall we beguile
The lazy time, if not with some delight?
EGEUS There is a brief how many sports are ripe44: Egeus gives a paper to Lysander
Make choice of which your highness will see first.
LYSANDER 'The battle with the Centaurs46, to be sung
By an Athenian eunuch to the harp.'
Reads
THESEUS We'll none of that. That have I told my love, In glory of my kinsman Hercules.
LYSANDER 'The riot of the tipsy Bacchanals,50
Reads
Tearing the Thracian singer in their rage.'
THESEUS That is an old device52, and it was played When I from Thebes came last a conqueror.
LYSANDER 'The thrice three Muses mourning for the death54
Reads
Of learning, late deceased in beggary.'
THESEUS That is some satire, keen and critical56, Not sorting with57 a nuptial ceremony.
LYSANDER 'A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus
Reads
And his love Thisbe; very tragical mirth.'
THESEUS Merry and tragical? Tedious and brief?
That is, hot ice and wondrous strange snow61.
How shall we find the concord62 of this discord?
EGEUS A play there is, my lord, some ten words long, Which is as brief as I have known a play;
But by ten words, my lord, it is too long,
Which makes it tedious. For in all the play
There is not one word apt, one player fitted67.
And tragical, my noble lord, it is,
For Pyramus therein doth kill himself.
Which, when I saw rehearsed, I must confess,
Made mine eyes water, but more merry tears
The passion of loud laughter never shed.
THESEUS What are they that do play it?
EGEUS Hard-handed men that work in Athens here,
Which never laboured in their minds till now;
And now have toiled their unbreathed76 memories With this same play, against77 your nuptial.
THESEUS And we will hear it.
EGEUS No, my noble lord,
It is not for you. I have heard it over,
And it is nothing, nothing in the world;
Unless you can find sport in their intents,
Extremely stretched and conned83 with cruel pain, To do you service.
THESEUS I will hear that play.
For never anything can be amiss,
When simpleness87 and duty tender it.
Go, bring them in.-- And take your places, ladies.
[Exit Egeus]
HIPPOLYTA I love not to see wretchedness o'er-charged89
And duty in his service90 perishing.
THESEUS Why, gentle sweet, you shall see no such thing.
HIPPOLYTA
He says they can do nothing in this kind92.
THESEUS The kinder we, to give them thanks for nothing.
Our sport shall be to take94 what they mistake; And what poor duty cannot do, noble respect95
Takes it in might, not merit96.
Where I have come, great clerks97 have purposed To greet me with premeditated welcomes;
Where I have seen them shiver and look pale,
Make periods100 in the midst of sentences, Throttle their practised accent101 in their fears, And in conclusion dumbly have broke off,
Not paying me a welcome. Trust me, sweet,
Out of this silence yet I picked104 a welcome.
And in the modesty of fearful105 duty I read as much as from the rattling tongue
Of saucy and audacious eloquence.
Love, therefore, and tongue-tied simplicity
In least speak most, to my capacity109.
[Enter Egeus]
EGEUS So please your grace, the Prologue is addressed110.
THESEUS Let him approach.
Flourish [of] trumpets
Enter the Prologue: Quince
PROLOGUE [QUINCE] If we offend, it is with our good will112.
That you should think, we come not to offend,
But with good will114. To show our simple skill, That is the true beginning of our end115.
Consider then, we come but in despite116.
We do not come as minding to content you117, Our true intent is. All for your delight118
We are not here119. That you should here repent you, The actors are at hand; and by their show120, You shall know all that you are like121 to know.
THESEUS This fellow doth not stand upon points122.
LYSANDER He hath rid his prologue like a rough123 colt: he knows not the stop124. A good moral, my lord. It is not enough to speak, but to speak true.
HIPPOLYTA Indeed he hath played on his prologue like a child on a recorder: a sound, but not in government127.
THESEUS His speech was like a tangled chain: nothing128
impaired, but all disordered. Who is next?
Enter, with a trumpet[er] before them, Pyramus [Bottom] and Thisbe [Flute], Wall [Snout], Moonshine [Starveling], and Lion [Snug]
PROLOGUE [QUINCE] Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show, But wonder on, till truth make all things plain.
This man is Pyramus, if you would know;
This beauteous lady Thisbe is certain.
This man with lime and rough-cast doth present
Wall, that vile Wall which did these lovers sunder135.
And through Wall's chink, poor souls, they are content
To whisper. At the which let no man wonder.
This man, with lantern, dog, and bush of thorn,
Presenteth Moonshine. For, if you will know,
By moonshine did these lovers think no scorn140
To meet at Ninus' tomb, there, there to woo.
This grisly beast, which Lion hight142 by name, The trusty Thisbe, coming first by night,
Did scare away, or rather did affright.
And as she fled, her mantle she did fall145, Which Lion vile with bloody mouth did stain.
Anon comes Pyramus, sweet youth and tall147, And finds his trusty Thisbe's mantle slain;
Whereat, with blade, with bloody blameful blade,
He bravely broached150 his boiling bloody breast.
And Thisbe, tarrying in mulberry shade,
His dagger drew, and died. For all the rest,
Let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and lovers twain153
At large discourse, while here they do remain.
Exeunt all but Wall
THESEUS I wonder if the lion be to speak.
DEMETRIUS No wonder, my lord: one lion may, when many asses do.
WALL [SNOUT] In this same interlude158 it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall.
And such a wall, as I would have you think,
That had in it a crannied hole or chink,
Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisbe,
Did whisper often, very secretly.
This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show
That I am that same wall; the truth is so.
And this the cranny is, right and sinister166, Gestures to gap between his legs
Through which the fearful167 lovers are to whisper.
THESEUS Would you desire lime and hair to speak
better?
DEMETRIUS It is the wittiest partition170 that ever I heard discourse, my lord.
THESEUS Pyramus draws near the wall. Silence!
Enter Pyramus
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] O grim-looked173 night! O night with hue so black!
O night, which ever art when day is not!
O night, O night! Alack, alack, alack,
I fear my Thisbe's promise is forgot.
And thou, O wall, thou sweet and lovely wall
That stands between her father's ground and mine!
Thou wall, O wall, O sweet and lovely wall,
Show me thy chink180, to blink through with mine eyne!
Wall opens his legs
Thanks, courteous wall. Jove181 shield thee well for this.
Pyramus peers between Wall's legs
But what see I? No Thisbe do I see.
O wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss!
Cursed be thy stones184 for thus deceiving me!
THESEUS The wall, methinks, being sensible, should curse again.185
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] No, in truth, sir, he should not. 'Deceiving me' is Thisbe's cue; she is to enter and I am to spy her
through the wall. You shall see, it will fall pat189 as I told you.
Yonder she comes.
Enter Thisbe
THISBE [FLUTE] O wall, full often hast thou heard my moans, For parting my fair Pyramus and me.
My cherry lips have often kissed thy stones,
Thy stones with lime and hair194 knit up in thee.
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] I see a voice; now will I to the chink, To spy an196 I can hear my Thisbe's face. Thisbe?
THISBE [FLUTE] My love thou art, my love197 I think.
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] Think what thou wilt, I am thy lover's grace198
And like Limander199 am I trusty still.
THISBE [FLUTE] And I like Helen200, till the Fates me kill.
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] Not Shafalus to Procrus201 was so true.
THISBE [FLUTE] As Shafalus to Procrus, I to you.
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] O, kiss me through the hole204 of this vile wall!
THISBE [FLUTE] I kiss the wall's hole, not your lips at all.
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] Wilt thou at Ninny's tomb meet me straightway?
THISBE [FLUTE] 'Tide206 life, 'tide death, I come without delay.
[Exeunt Pyramus and Thisbe]
WALL [SNOUT] Thus have I, Wall, my part discharged so; And, being done, thus Wall away doth go.
Exit
THESEUS Now is the mural209 down between the two neighbours.
DEMETRIUS No remedy, my lord, when walls are so wilful211 to hear without warning.
HIPPOLYTA This is the silliest stuff that e'er I heard.
THESEUS The best in this kind are but shadows214, and the worst are no worse, if imagination amend them.
HIPPOLYTA It must be your imagination then, and not theirs.
THESEUS If we imagine no worse of them than they of themselves, they may pass for excellent men. Here come two
noble beasts in, a man and a lion.
Enter Lion and Moonshine [with a lantern, thorn-bush and dog]
LION [SNUG] You, ladies, you, whose gentle hearts do fear The smallest monstrous222 mouse that creeps on floor, May now perchance both quake and tremble here,
When lion rough224 in wildest rage doth roar.
Then know that I, one Snug the joiner, am
A lion fell, nor else no lion's dam226, For if I should as lion come in strife
Into this place, 'twere pity on my life.
THESEUS A very gentle beast, and of a good conscience.
DEMETRIUS The very best at a beast230, my lord, that e'er I saw.
LYSANDER This lion is a very fox for231 his valour.
THESEUS True, and a goose for his discretion232.
DEMETRIUS Not so, my lord, for his valour cannot carry his discretion, and the fox carries234 the goose.
THESEUS His discretion, I am sure, cannot carry his valour, for the goose carries not the fox. It is well. Leave it to his
discretion, and let us hearken to the moon.
MOONSHINE [STARVELING] This lantern doth the horned238 moon present--
DEMETRIUS He should have worn the horns on his head239.
THESEUS He is no crescent240, and his horns are invisible within the circumference.
MOONSHINE [STARVELING] This lantern doth the horned moon present: Myself the man i'th'moon doth seem to be.
THESEUS This is the greatest error of all the rest; the man should be put into the lantern. How is it else the man
i'th'moon?
DEMETRIUS He dares not come there for the candle. For you see it is already in snuff248.
HIPPOLYTA I am aweary of this moon; would he would change!
THESEUS It appears, by his small light of discretion, that he is in the wane. But yet, in courtesy, in all reason, we must stay251
the time.
LYSANDER Proceed, Moon.
MOONSHINE [STARVELING] All that I have to say is to tell you that the lantern is the moon; I, the man in the moon; this thorn-bush,
my thorn-bush; and this dog, my dog.
DEMETRIUS Why, all these should be in the lantern, for they are in the moon. But silence -- here comes Thisbe.
Enter Thisbe
THISBE [FLUTE] This is old Ninny's tomb. Where is my love?
LION [SNUG] O!
The lion roars. Thisbe runs off [dropping her mantle]
DEMETRIUS Well roared, Lion.
THESEUS Well run, Thisbe.
[Lion shakes Thisbe's mantle, and exits]
HIPPOLYTA Well shone, Moon. Truly, the moon shines with a good grace.
THESEUS Well moused265, Lion.
DEMETRIUS And then came Pyramus.
LYSANDER And so the lion vanished.
Enter Pyramus
PYRAMUS [BOTTOM] Sweet Moon, I thank thee for thy sunny beams, I thank thee, Moon, for shining now so bright,
For by thy gracious, golden, glittering gleams,
I trust to taste of truest Thisbe sight.
But stay, O spite!
But mark, poor knight,
What dreadful dole274 is here?
Eyes, do you see?
How can it be?
O dainty duck! O dear!
Thy mantle good,
What, stained with blood!
Approach, you Furies fell280!
O Fates281, come, come, Cut thread and thrum282, Quail, crush, conclude, and quell283!