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He caressed my neck. “Good thing I didn’t get to the biting yet. ”
I laughed. “What, are you a vampire?”
He leaned down and pressed a hot, hard kiss on my lips. “Way sexier. ”
I traced the line of his throat with the tip of my nail. “I don’t know, those capes are awful sexy. ”
“Only if you’re wearing one, and nothing else. ”
I flushed but didn’t look away. “That could be arranged. ”
He lowered himself until his mouth touched my throat, and I shivered and arched my neck as he ran kisses along the line of my throat. His teeth nipped at my skin, sparking desire all through me. Thought started dissipating, replaced by pleasure and want for more.
That can be arranged. . .
Only I wasn’t supposed to be arranged. “Abe, I report on your team!”
His voice gentled. “Is that what’s holding you back?”
And that I was scared. That I didn’t know how to navigate these waters. I mutely shook my head and frowned at the wall.
“Maybe I haven’t told you this. ” His voice was light but his gaze was steady. “But I’m going to wait for you. As long as it takes. Even if it means waiting until you don’t report on my team anymore. I’m not going anywhere. ”
My gaze swiveled toward him. “And why would you do that?”
Like lightning, he was in front of me, and he’d drawn me up right before him. His hands cupped my head, his fingers spearing through my hair as his gaze raked mine. “Why do you think? You think this just happened? That we just found ourselves lying on your bed by a series of accidents? Tamar, I’ve been trying to get your attention since you showed up here. I like you. I want you. And I’m going to wait until you realize that I’m not going anywhere. ”
He made me feel like a storm had swept through me. My voice came out shaky. “You’re making it really hard for me to consider anyone else viable. ”
He smiled. “I’m trying to make it impossible. ”
I hesitated. My hand found his even though my gaze did not. His fingers closed around mine, warm and steady. I wanted desperately to believe them, that he wasn’t going anywhere. “Abraham. . . I like you. ”
The pause was pregnant with a dozen years of emotion. “I know. ”
I swallowed. The heaviness, the tenseness that had followed me the past few weeks as I tried to keep my emotions hemmed in slowly drained away. “Are you going to break my heart?”
“No. ”
A strangled laugh broke out of me. “Do you promise?”
“Tamar. Look at me. ”
I did, almost reluctantly. He studied me. “What are you afraid of?”
His expression, so earnest, so kind, seared through me. He regarded me with genuine curiosity, with the desire to calm me.
As I tried to formulate my response, the words slowly percolating through my heart and mind to the tip of my tongue, I let my gaze stay on his face. Abraham Krasner. I’d spent more time looking at him than my own reflection. He’d made an indelible mark on my soul, in the shape of his hand on mine, his eyes, his lips. I missed him when he was gone, even in these past years when the ache had become so routine it was nothing more than background noise. He was like a phantom limb. A phantom soul mate.
I took his hand and flipped it over between mine, my thumbs tracing the life and heart lines engraved across his palm. “I am afraid that loving you is like riding a bike. That if I let myself remember how to do it, I’ll fall so hard and fast that I’ll never be able to recover. ”
He kissed me hard and swift, like a branding. “I don’t want you to be able to recover. ”
I pulled slightly away, though our breath still mingled in the night air. “That’s greedy, Abraham Krasner. ”
He smiled. “I’m only greedy because I want all of you, forever. ”
“I’m afraid you won’t mean that in two weeks. A month. A year. ”
He smiled and caressed my cheek, and the emotion in his eyes was so strong that it astounded me. “Tamar—I will. Trust me. I will. ”
He spoke with such certainty. I swallowed. “Okay. But Abe—we have to take this at my speed. I can’t just throw myself into this, madly, completely. ”
He grinned with cocky confidence. “You’re already into this madly, completely. I’m the only one for you. ”
I gently pushed his chest. “I’m the one in charge. I dictate how far, how fast. You follow my lead. ”
He leaned back slowly onto his elbows and looked up at me, his face filled with lazy pleasure. “I’m more than happy to follow your lead. ”
A frisson of excited attraction sizzled through me. I edged a little closer and placed one hand on his shoulder and trailed it down to land just below his sleeve. My fingers wrapped hesitantly around his biceps, which felt like warm steel beneath my hand. “Is that so?”
His eyes didn’t leave mine. “It’s so. ”
I licked my lips, more than a little nervous. “Okay, then. Okay. ” I found some focus. “Then just so you know, I’m not going to sleep with you tonight. ”
He looked skeptically amused. “No?”
I shook my head. “I’m not. Okay?”
“Okay. ” He let my legs slide down as he kissed his way down my neck, over the hollow part of my collarbone. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. ” I tried to push him back. Damn, this was hard.
“Okay,” he said, actually using his mouth to talk, for once. “We don’t have to sleep together. ”
I eyed him narrowly. “Because I’m not going to. ”
“Okay. ” He took my face in his hands. One kiss. Gentle. “That’s okay. ” And then he smiled. “But I’m allowed to try to change your mind, right?”
I narrowed my eyes warily. “I don’t know. How are you going to try?”
He answered with a kiss, and I melted into his arms.
He didn’t change my mind that night.
But he made an awfully persuasive argument.
In the morning he woke up early and shrugged on his shirt. He was leaving soon for Boston and still had to stop by his apartment, whereas I planned to stay in bed all day. His eyes darkened as he watched me watch him get dressed from between the sheets. “We’re still on for the wedding, right?”
The what? My mouth fell open.
He looked amused. “You didn’t forget?”
I kept staring.
“We’re getting married. ”
I had no words.
He started laughing. “You did forget. Malcolm’s wedding? It’s next week. ”
I placed my hand to my chest. “Right. Right, you invited me to that. Oh my God, you almost gave me a heart attack. ”
He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead. “If we were getting married, you wouldn’t forget it. ”
Why did he have to say things like that? Was he trying to keep my emotions from reaching any sort of equilibrium?
I walked him to the door and kissed him goodbye.
And then I fell back into bed and replayed every part of the night.
Chapter Sixteen
On Tuesday night, we went on a date. I met him at one of the hole-in-the-wall kebab places off Broadway. I watched in slight astonishment at the amount of food he put away, and concentrated on stealing his fries without him noticing.