“I’ll take that as a yes,” Judge Headley said.
“It’s a yes,” Tamara said. “Let’s get this thing over with.”
They signed until her signature read “Tammy Shelly” and Levi’s looked like nothing more than an L, an S and a long squiggly line afterward. The whole time, Judge Headley kept up a steady stream of chatter about the will probation process, and how it had looked to be a long nasty battle until one day three weeks ago Virginia Maddox up and quit the fight.
“She just quit?” Levi asked. “Doesn’t seem like her.”
“She didn’t seem happy to quit. But she threw in the towel and said you could have it all. She meant it, too. She’s moved out of Arden. She’s staying with a friend of hers in Lexington.”
“As long as she stays away from us, that’s all I care about,” Tamara said, capping her Bic pen and tossing it on the table.
“Why’d she give up?” Levi asked, and Tamara wished he wouldn’t. “Did she say?”
“Beats me.” Headley gathered up all the papers, the deeds and money transfer notices, into one neat pile and started sorting them out. “But it made our jobs easier. We pushed it through, got it done, and now you two have the rest of your lives to enjoy each other. And you don’t have a damn thing to worry about ever again.”
Tamara leaned over and hugged him again. She could have hugged the whole wide world. Did Judge Headley have any idea how good that sounded to her—never having anything to worry about ever again? She’d done nothing but worry for the past year and a half. Wouldn’t it be nice to take a long vacation from worry? Better than a trip on the Love Boat.
When it was all done, Tamara told Levi she was tired and asked if he’d mind pulling the truck up to the front of the building. He didn’t mind at all. She knew he wouldn’t. He shook Judge Headley’s hand and left them alone.
“Thank you,” Tamara said. “Thank you for doing this. I know you went to a lot of trouble for me.”
“You’re like family, angel face. You know that. Your daddy and Eric and I swore when we were boys we’d always be brothers even if blood had nothing to do with it. I can’t believe those boys are gone, but you’re here. And you’ll always be like a daughter to me. Even when you’re doing something crazy like getting married and having a baby before you’re even old enough to vote. When’s the baby due, anyway? December?”
Tamara swallowed hard. “Yeah. Or January, maybe. Hard to tell sometimes.”
“Levi happy?”
“He’s real happy. Me, too.”
“That’s good. Junior can call me Uncle Grandpa if he wants.”
“About that...”
“About what?” he asked, putting all their papers in a file.
“About my uncle.”
“Eric? What about him?”
“You were at his going-away party the night he shipped out, right?”
“Well, now, let me think back. Yes, I was for a bit. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering. I heard it was a wild party.”
“I wouldn’t know. I was there ten minutes before I had to get back home again. My mother picked that night to fall on ice and bust her head open. She called over to Arden and I had to leave right then and take her to the hospital. I hadn’t even taken off my jacket yet.”
Tamara stared at him. “You sure it was that night?”
“Sure as a man can be. I remember cursing my mother from one end of the state to the other—not to her face, of course—for her terrible timing. She cried so hard at Eric’s funeral you would have thought it was her son who’d died. She felt bad dragging me away from his party, since that was the last time any of us saw him alive. Only your daddy cried harder.”
Tamara sank down into the chair.
“Tamara? You all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just got a little dizzy there.”
“It happens,” he said. “Maryanne was dizzy all the time with our first. You know, I thought you’d be starting to pop by now. Must be your dress.”
Tamara looked down at the loose sundress she wore. It had settled onto her stomach, which was, as Levi had said, flat as a pancake. For now.
“Just the dress,” she said. “I can’t wear my jeans anymore.”
Judge Headley put his hand on her forehead. His skin was soft, not calloused, not like Levi’s.
“You feel a little clammy, sweetheart. Maybe take it easy for the rest of the day.”
“I’ll do that.” Tamara was clammy. She felt a cold sweat and she shivered inside all the way to her bones. Her lips trembled and her mouth went dry. She wanted water, lots of it and ice-cold.
Judge Headley glanced up at the window. “Come on. I’ll walk you out. Your husband’s probably wondering about you.”
He took her arm and escorted her to the front door. Levi pulled up right to the curb and the judge started toward the door to open it for her.
“Wait.” Tamara took Judge Headley’s hand in hers. “You said you didn’t trust Momma. Why don’t you? I thought something happened at the party that night.”
“Something must have. The day before the party your mother told me she was in love with Eric. Then two days later she announced she was getting married to Nash. Hard to trust a woman who’d tell one man she loved him and then marry his brother two weeks after he joins the army. But we were all young and stupid. Who isn’t, at that age? She’s not a bad woman. Just...maybe not a good woman.”
He kissed her forehead and opened the door to the truck.
“Ready to find a hotel?” Levi asked. “You think there’s rooms at the Galt House? Maybe we could get a honeymoon suite.” He winked at her.
“Arden,” she said. “Let’s go to Arden.”
“Arden? You sure about that?”
“Momma’s gone. Why shouldn’t we go?”
“No reason,” Levi said, pulling out into the street. Tamara saw the river in the distance, brown and shining. “No reason at all.”
29
They pulled into the circular driveway at Arden an hour later.
“Well, look at that,” Levi said.
“Oh, my gosh. That’s my car.” Tamara leaned forward. Her blue Triumph Spitfire sat parked in front of the house. “I guess I was right. The police must have found it and called Momma.”
“Looks in good shape.” Levi pulled the truck in right behind it. “Doesn’t look like your mother took a baseball bat to it.”
Tamara hopped out of the truck before Levi could open the door for her. She ran to the car and found the doors unlocked and the keys in the ignition.
“Nice of her,” Tamara said. “I wonder if the car will blow up the second I turn it on.”
Levi grinned. “You been watching too many James Bond movies. But just in case, I’ll start the car the first time. You ready to go in?”
“Can I go in alone? Just for a while?”
Levi looked at her long and hard. “You think that’s safe?”
“I do,” she said. “Do you mind? I just want a few minutes.”
“You go in and I’ll go pick us up some supper somewhere and bring it back. If there’s any food in that house, it’s probably poisoned.” He winked at her. Tamara smiled because she knew she was supposed to.
“Right. That’s perfect. Thank you.”
Levi leaned down and kissed her on the lips.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said.
Tamara nodded. She’d packed only one small suitcase and her purse, so she carried them to the front door. The keys were in her purse, and even though this was legally her home in every way, she felt like an intruder opening the door. Tamara looked over her shoulder at Levi waiting and she waved at him. He waved back and drove off.
The air in the house smelled stale but clean, as if someone had used a whole bottle of lemon furniture polish two weeks ago and the scent still polluted the air.
Tamara set down her suitcase and opened it. From under a pile of neatly folded shirts, she pulled the handgun she’d t
aken from her grandfather’s office the night of the flood. Her hand shook as she loaded it. Learning to shoot had taken practice, and as she’d had no teacher, she’d nearly done herself in by accident a time or two in the process. All she could do was drive out to the middle of nowhere and aim the gun at cans set up on tree stumps. The hardest part had been dealing with the recoil. Once she got used to the gun’s kick and the terrible sound of it, she found she was a decent shot. Not great, but she didn’t need to be great. She wasn’t a sharpshooter. All she wanted was to protect herself, and everyone who knows anything knows the things that can harm you are always the things closest to you.
“Hello?” Tamara called out as she wandered the first floor of the house—her grandfather’s sitting room with his big oak bar and his big brass lamp. His big box of cigars was gone. They’d been ruined in the flood and Tamara was glad they were gone. If they were gone, he was gone. Gone for good. The rugs on the floor had been ruined, too, but these new rugs were nicer than the old ones. Persian rugs with swirling patterns of flowers and vines in hues of red, green and gold. Masculine colors, but her mother had picked them out. For whom? All the Maddox men were dead but for Levi, and there was no way on God’s green earth her mother would roll out the welcome mat or any other piece of carpeting for him. She must have done it by habit, buying new rugs Granddaddy would have approved of. That had been her mother’s entire life—doing everything she did for the approval of men.
Tamara went to the dining room and looked around. China cabinet full of fine-boned china. Mahogany table for ten. Sideboard. Curtains drawn. Nothing ripped. Nothing torn. Nothing broken. Everything left in perfect condition. Tamara wouldn’t have put it past her mother to break every dish in the house and shred every bit of fabric. Tamara wouldn’t put anything past her mother, which was why she’d wanted to walk the house alone without Levi.
But everything was fine. Yet it wasn’t fine. How could Judge Headley have fathered her the night of Uncle Eric’s going-away party if he hadn’t been there long enough to take off his jacket? Easy answer. He hadn’t. She reasoned he could have done it the night before. He could have done it the night after. But what was this about Momma being in love with Uncle Eric? She’d never heard that story before. Had to have been an unrequited love. Eric hadn’t been drafted. He’d joined the army as a volunteer. What man in love would do such a thing? A man in love wouldn’t do such a thing. So it was nothing to worry about.
Tamara wandered into the kitchen. Here was something to worry about. Sitting on the kitchen table was an envelope. On the front it read “Tamara and Levi” in her mother’s handwriting and Tamara eyed it like a snake. She eyed it like a snake because it was a snake, more dangerous than the copperhead that had gotten into their house that night. It was the snake that made Tamara want to go in first, without Levi. If her mother were here, lurking, waiting to strike, Tamara wanted to be the one between her and Levi. If anyone or anything had to get shot, Tamara would do the shooting.
Tamara picked up the letter and walked to the sink. Then she dug around in the drawers until she found a book of matches. Tamara set the letter alight and smiled as the paper turned black and curled. As the fire reached her fingertips, Tamara turned on the faucet and drowned the ashes in the drain.
If Tamara knew her mother, and she did, she knew this letter wouldn’t be the only snake in the grass. She raced from room to room, and sure enough she found no less than five envelopes—one in the bathroom, one in her old bedroom, one in the upstairs bathroom, one in the library and one in the master bedroom Granddaddy had slept in. If she read the letters, her mother would win. Tamara would not let her win. She’d lost too much to let anyone else win anymore. Tamara burned them all in the sink and washed the remnants away.
When she finished and they were all gone, she smiled.
That was that. She won.
Tamara heard the happy sound of tires on the drive, and she saw Levi’s truck coming around the bend in the driveway. She laughed when she saw the horse trailer attached to the end of his truck. Today he’d signed the papers that made him a millionaire and all he had on his mind was buying horses. Tomorrow they’d probably go and find Kermit, wherever he was. She had missed that sweet boy of hers.
Levi drove straight to the stables and Tamara packed the gun carefully away in her suitcase again. There was a pleasant, rarely used guest room on the second floor at the end of the hall. Tamara had no bad memories of it. They could sleep there tonight and figure out what to do with the house in the morning. She walked down to the stables and found Levi inspecting the stalls.
“How bad is it?” Tamara asked him from the doorway.
“I’ve seen better,” Levi said. “There’s mold in a lot of the old straw, some dry rot in the doors. But I can get at least one stall cleaned up by tomorrow. I called the farrier, and he said he knew who bought Kermit and the rest of the horses. We can go haggling tomorrow to get them back. Kermit at least if they won’t sell the others.”
“That’s good news,” she said, leaning in the doorway of the stall as Levi kicked old straw around, inspecting the floors.
“How’s the house? Any ghosts? Any wolves?”
“No ghosts. No wolves. No mothers-in-law.”
Levi grinned. “Good news. You want to go riding tomorrow? Real riding?”
“What do you think Rex and I have been doing this past month?”
“A Walker walks. You used to run Kermit like you were in the damn Derby. Can’t do that on the island. Too many trees in the way.”
“I don’t know if we should,” she said, watching as Levi raked the old dirty straw to the edges of the stall. “Might not be safe.”
Levi looked sharply at her. “Safe? This from the girl who used to stand on Kermit’s saddle and pretend she was in the Ringling Brothers? When did you start caring about being safe on the back of a horse?”
“When I got pregnant.”
Levi dropped the rake.
He stared at her.
Tamara tried to smile. “You gonna say something?”
“How?”
“The usual way.”
“But you... We went to the doctor and—” He paused and buried his fingers in his thick dark hair and pulled it away from his face. She couldn’t read his expression. Was it shocked and happy? Shocked and horrified? Shocked and shocked?
“Remember the snake?”
“I remember the snake,” Levi said.
“I’d only been on the pill three days that night. Not enough time for it to start working. Anyway, that’s the doctor’s guess. He did the math.”
“The snake. Right.” Levi rubbed his temples. “Wild night.”
“Levi, are you happy?” she asked, tears burning the backs of her eyes. “Or are you mad at me?”
“Why the hell would I be mad at you?”
“I don’t know. I know you didn’t want kids. And I—”
“Oh, my God. Tamara...” He walked to her and took her in his arms. She sank into his embrace like she was sinking into soft earth. He held her close and tight, rocking her against him.
“I didn’t mean to, I swear.” She’d been good. She’d taken her pills. She hadn’t meant for it to happen. But she couldn’t be sad about it.
“I know, Rotten.”
“I want to be happy about it.”
“So do I. I’m scared, but I’m happy.” Levi rubbed her lower back and she finally started to relax a little.
“Me, too. Scared, I mean. But happy. Scrappy.”
Tamara laughed against his chest, which hurt, since she was crying, too, and it wasn’t easy to do both.
“How long... How long have you known?”
“A week, I guess. I was gonna tell you Saturday, but Bowen showed up. I’m two months along.”
“I can do the math.”
Two months since the snake. Strange to know the exact night. Strange to have a snake to thank for their child. That was the night she told Levi she was in love with him still. And
the first time she’d told him had been right here.
“You know, we were in this stall the first time we kissed,” Tamara said.
Levi raised his head and looked around.
“We were, weren’t we?”
“My birthday kiss,” she said, grinning at him. “My first real