Page 8 of Expert Assistance


  “And we mean that, Jake. We are prepared to grant you five percent of the gross profits of music rights, maybe as much as ten. We will allow you to name your share of the drama and licensing rights. The memoir rights to your story will be exclusively yours. That’s on top of what the people planet-side are paying you, don’t forget.”

  Evvie’s eyes met Jake’s. “So, Jake, will you sign me up?”

  Jake stared off into the distance. “I think I am going to be sick.” He sighed. “I’m going to regret this, but fine. You want in, you’re in. But I give the orders, right?”

  “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.”

  As he shook Sid and Evvie’s hands, all Jake could think was, What have I gotten myself into now?

  ***

  As he prepared to teleport down to Antioch Two, Jake surprised himself by being happy that Maxis was a fan of Evvie’s. Normally planetary leaders didn’t attend pop concerts. Security concerns were the usual reason given, but more often than not they were simply too busy to bother. If they did show up, it was because the concert was something very special, such as the first of a tour, or a major band reunion, or something else. Maxis could have had reasons not to attend Evvie’s show, but he was there along with everyone else on the planet.

  That meant that security would be there, too. They would not be close to Maxis’ quarters, and therefore close to the executive meeting room and the executive lavatory. Jake would be able to bug both places without the danger of an uncomfortable encounter with a guard.

  Jake stepped onto the teleport platform. “Ready, Odin?”

  “One moment.”

  Jake waited.

  “All monitoring devices are now being spoofed, Jake. Be careful not to make any normal-volume noises or move anything.”

  “Of course. Teleport.”

  He materialized in the executive meeting room. It was not completely dark; two light-threads illuminated two old-fashioned paintings at one end of the room. Name plates under each identified the one on the right as Maxis’ father and the one on the left as his grandfather. They framed a chair at one end of the meeting room table that was taller and clearly cushier than the others around the table. Jake instantly knew that the chair belonged to Maxis.

  He walked up to it slowly and stopped next to it. He took his perscomp out of a chest pocket in his dark jumpsuit. He aimed the device at a spot on the table in front of the chair and a few centimeters from edge. He tapped the screen a few times, waited, shifted the perscomp to his left hand, and opened his right hand. A minute later a chunk of the interior of the table materialized above his palm.

  Almost everyone who had one soon discovered that a useful but less-than-obvious application of the teleport was in the planting of listening devices. If someone on the ground could direct a sensor onto an exact location, the teleport operator could program the device to remove a chuck of material. The piece removed could be exactly specified to allow a bug to be planted in that space. No drilling or cutting was necessary, and nothing had to be created to maintain an illusion that had to hide an opening in the wall, floor, ceiling, or in this case, the table. The bug could be teleported into the space precisely; no matter what happened, it would not give itself away.

  Jake had only briefly considered putting a video bug into the room. He quickly dismissed the notion and chose an audio bug. The video bug would generate too much data to be easily disguised, whereas audio signals took up much less room. Jake also didn’t think the video would be all that interesting, but what was said would be. He waited for Odin to report to him that the listening device was in place.

  Once the work was done Jake let Odin know that he was ready to move on. A moment later he returned to the ship, and an instant later materialized in the executive lavatory. It was much as he expected: well-lit, spacious, and full of expensive and gaudy fixtures. He aimed his perscomp at a spot on the ceiling part-way through the row of stalls. Less than a minute later he pocketed another bit of material; the second listening device was in place. Jake was back on his ship in time to catch the last three songs of Evvie’s concert.

  The first of three was a minor song of her latest release. The second was the number she usually closed with, and Jake thought that was the end. Shortly after the song was over and the applause had faded, Evvie said, “I want to do one last song. It’s an oldie, and I hope you’ll appreciate it.” She nodded to her backup musicians. It took Jake precisely four seconds to recognize her closing song.

  “Oh, my God. That’s the Marseilles!”

  “I believe you’re correct, Jake,” Odin observed.

  “We’re done for now! That stupid... Odin, take all standard security precautions, prepare for immediate teleport, and get the jump drive online.”

  “Absolutely. I am also initiating full monitoring of local security communications. I will alert you immediately.”

  “Stand by.”

  Jake watched the broadcast nervously. He wondered how long it would take for Maxis to catch on to what exactly Evvie was singing, and the underlying meaning of the anthem. She was able to get through the first verse of ‘Marseilles’ without incident, but Jake was still on edge.

  Evvie moved on to the next verse. As she sang and nothing happened, Jake relaxed just enough to break the tension with Odin. “Looks like she’s doing a straight version of the song,” he said.

  “Yes, it would seem so.”

  “Funny that she hasn’t brought in any of her usual pop stuff into it.”

  “True, but I would surmise that might be due to the song itself.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You are aware how sensitive the French-speaking peoples are with Marseilles. Or have you forgotten the scandal...”

  “Oh, that’s right.”

  Evvie completed the second verse without incident. When she came to the third, her backup singers and band members joined in, attempting to replicate the sound of a chorus. The effect was okay to Jake’s mind, but simply couldn’t compete with a trained classical chorus.

  “Still,” he said, “Evvie isn’t a bad singer, really. I think if she challenged herself, and dropped some of the effects, she might be worth listening to.”

  Everyone more or less sailed through that verse and went right into the next. Jake started to wonder when the bottom was going to drop. Was Maxis letting them twist in the wind? Was it taking time to put his goons in place? Jake asked Odin about the situation. “Nothing unusual as yet,” the computer reported.

  Another verse came and went without trouble. On the following verse the chorus stopped, leaving just Evvie to sing. With the threat seeming to diminish, Jake was now getting anxious to have the thing over with.

  “This song really goes on, doesn’t it?”

  “It is considered long for an anthem, Jake,” Odin said. “Most people are only familiar with one verse of Marseilles. They see a drama where it is used, and assume that that one verse is the whole song. Interestingly, the same assumptions are made about the old American anthem ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.’”

  “Okay, fine. I was just making an observation. You don’t have to go on at length to me, remember?”

  “I am sorry.”

  “One might say you got carried away, there.”

  “You might. I would not.”

  Evvie completed her solo verse of Marseilles, then launched into another one. Despite his appreciation of higher culture, Jake found himself asking aloud, “I don’t know what’s worse; waiting for this song to end, or waiting for Maxis to crack down on us.” Evvie finished the verse without incident, said a few “thank you’s,” and jogged off the stage.

  “That’s it?”

  “Apparently so,” Odin replied. “I noticed that the audience reaction was not quite as enthusiastic as usual.”

  “Maybe they got as antsy for the show to end as I was. Well, check with Evvie and see if she’s ready to teleport. No sense taking any chances.”

  A minute later Odin reported on his c
ommunication with her. “It seems that Maxis wishes to speak to her personally. She doesn’t want to disappoint him.”

  “She could be walking into danger.”

  “I am monitoring the situation, Jake. There doesn’t appear to be any imminent threat. Might I point out that her not seeing him might alarm him in some way. This post-performance meeting was previously arranged, if you remember. Canceling it without an extremely convincing reason could create a new set of problems.”

  “Fine. Just keep monitoring.”

  Fifteen nervous minutes passed before Evvie contacted the ship and said she was ready to teleport up. Jake told Odin to operate the teleport while he dashed to the room. He arrived an instant after she materialized.

  “Do you know the danger you put us into?” he demanded.

  “What danger?”

  “Marseilles, Evvie. If Maxis caught on to the meaning...”

  “He didn’t.”

  Jake was speechless for a moment. “What?”

  Evvie shook her head. “He didn’t get it. In fact, he told me he liked the song. He thought it sounded exotic. He said I should sing more songs like it.”

  “He doesn’t know the history of the Marseilles? He didn’t give you any hints that he knows what the lyrics really mean?”

  “Nope.”

  “And you didn’t tell him, in some fit of grand stupidity?”

  “Of course not.”

  Jake pondered the matter for several seconds. Finally, he shook his head and crossed his arms across his chest. “Well, then, I think we’ve just found someone more shallow and clueless than you,” he said to Evvie. He turned and drifted away, still shaking his head.

  ***

  Jake was still on edge the following morning. It wasn’t so much out of fear than from annoyance. Evvie and Sid were still on board. He hadn’t heard them get up, but by the time he entered the bridge after breakfast they were awake, cleaned up, filled up, and meeting behind the closed door of Evvie’s room. He didn’t know what they were talking about, but he was sure when they told him he wouldn’t like it.

  Eventually Sid wandered onto the bridge. Evvie was not with him. “Jake, Evvie’s taking some time to rest,” Sid reported. “She’s going to do some personal stuff today. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Just so long as she doesn’t start talking to her friends about her new political sensibilities,” Jake said.

  “Oh, sure. She’s just gonna rest her voice, take it easy, y’know.”

  “Fine.”

  “Say, Jake. I’ve been doing some thinking.”

  “Do tell.” I hope it didn’t hurt.

  “This rebellion thing you’re pulling, it’s a great idea. I was just wondering, do you think a little publicity’s in order?”

  “Uh, no. The whole point of the exercise is not to let Maxis know we’re going to oust him from office.”

  “Oh, I get that. I mean, publicity to the wider galaxy.”

  Jake let out a long sigh. “Sid, if Maxis knows who Evvie is, don’t you think he also pays attention to the news?”

  “Well, I suppose. Still, Jake, everything could use some publicity. I mean, how do you know that this rebellion will go over well?”

  “I don’t care how it goes over, so long as it succeeds and I’m paid for my work. If you have to put any spin on it, save it until after it’s over.”

  Sid smiled. It was a gesture that sent chills down Jake’s spin. “But, Jakie, what if, in carrying out this rebellion thing, you do some things that don’t go over well later on? See, that’s what I was thinking about. I think you and those rebels might want to talk to a consultant.”

  “A consultant? There aren’t any rebellion consultants.”

  “Uh-uh. You can find a consultant for just about any situation. See, I’ll hire the guy, link him or her up to you, and you can let them give you tips on strategy, uniforms, all that stuff.”

  “No.”

  “But, Jake...”

  “Listen.” Jake raised his right hand and pointed his forefinger at the ceiling. “The computer that controls this ship is one of the few artificial intelligences in existence. Odin has access to every bit of information known to humanity. If we need any help on tactics or strategy, Odin will have no trouble finding an answer. He can sift through every military history, every biography or autobiography, every news account that currently exists.

  “Now, as to uniforms. What uniforms? This revolution will not be televised. It will be quiet, held in secret, and will not make stars out of anyone until it is over and has ended well. What do you think is more important, looking good or getting the job done?

  “No, don’t answer that, you’re not qualified.

  “Now, I was the guy the Rosens hired. That means I am in charge of this little rebellion. You and Evvie can play ball my way, or you can leave the field. Am I clear?”

  “I guess.”

  “Good. Now I think it’s time my ship and yours got started for the next venue. Say good-bye to Evvie, Odin will beam you off, and we’ll carry on like before. Okay?”

  Sid nodded, but he obviously wasn’t happy about having been shot down. He wandered off the bridge, leaving Jake to sit in silence for a few minutes. Odin finally broke the silence by reporting that Sid had been teleported to his ship. Jake ordered Odin to set a new course, and engage at his discretion.

  “By the way, Jake,” Odin said, “I appreciate your coming to my defense.”

  “Well, it was either that or deal with Sid’s consultants. You may be a little frustrating at times, but you aren’t an idiot. I’d rather be frustrated by brains than by stupidity.”

  ***

  Jake no longer bothered to count how many times he had sat on the bridge while Evvie was interviewed. With the tour now in its final lap, this was just minor annoyance to be endured. Once or twice more, he told himself, and he would be on the path to real wealth.

  This interview was slightly different. After the usual banal greeting Evvie said, “I want to let everyone know that the last three shows of my tour are dedicated to the ideal of liberty.”

  “Really?” the interviewer asked.

  Jake coughed in surprise.

  “That’s right. Lots of us take it for granted. I don’t. I’m glad I’m free to sing what I want to. I’m glad that my fans are free to hear my songs. I’d like all of us throughout known space to have this freedom.”

  “That’s a very admirable sentiment, Evvie. What brought it on?”

  “Well, getting out, traveling to all sorts of worlds. We sometimes don’t think about other people, what with our busy lives and all. I’ve had my eyes opened about what’s going on. I want to do my part, and I want my fans to help do theirs, too.”

  Jake gritted his teeth as the interview wound through its final moments. When it was over and the screen darkened he leapt from his seat. “Are you a complete idiot?” he snapped. “No, don’t bother answering. I know what you’ll say.”

  “What are you so bugged about, Jake?”

  “You really don’t have to dedicate your last couple shows to liberty. It would be better if you didn’t.”

  “But you kept making fun of me for not saying anything important.”

  He sighed. “You don’t have to say what you said.”

  “My fans need to hear that.”

  “Including that one really big fan on Antioch Two? You remember? The one we’re supposed to oust from power?”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So, if he hears you, and puts two and two together,...” Jake waited for her to catch on. She didn’t. “He might take action that could endanger our chances of success, Evvie. Lock people up. Tighten security. Make our job harder.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh. Do me a favor. Look up the word ‘subtle.’ Try to understand that word before your next interview. Employ the concept when you’re tempted to talk about liberty.”

  Evvie glared at him for a second, then turned and left the bridge. Jake took a few br
eaths to calm himself, walked back up to the stairs, and went back to watching the latest remake of a A Tale of Two Cities.

  Seven

  Villainous Inefficiency

  As he sat down in the chair in the upper section of the bridge, Jake let out a long sigh of relief. “Okay, Odin. We’re going to have a little bit of peace, so let’s get put it to good use.”

  “Evvie and Sid?”

  “Saying their oh-so-sincere goodbyes to the rest of the hired help. Followed by a meeting with each parent separately, then a few interviews. She won’t be back on board until tomorrow.”

  “How do you plan to celebrate?”

  “Loudly. Tonight. For now I want to know what’s the latest you’ve found out about Antioch Two. Then I’d like us to put all the pieces together before we get bombarded with silly questions. Besides, I’m going to need the information to figure out how exactly we’re going to help the Rosens and boot this Maxis character out.”

  “Very well. Any preference as to where I begin?”

  “Start with that main dome.”

  “Certainly. My analysis is not yet complete, but only one or two items remain to be verified.”

  A two-dimensional image of the main dome of Antioch Two appeared on the largest screen on the console in front of Jake. There were six levels to the dome, as both already knew. As he described each room on each level, Odin posted a written label onto each relevant part of the image.

  “I have confirmed much of what the Rosens told us. The top level is, as we’ve long suspected, where the control over the planet and its resources is wielded. There is one main control room, a medium-sized robot repair shop, and the executive meeting room. In addition, there is a separate reception area, and the living quarters for Maxis and his senior staff.”

  Odin devoted a second screen to two-dimensional images of the actual rooms assembled from security camera shots. Jake took some time to switch his gaze from one screen to the other. He immediately noticed that the rooms were as bland as the planet they were located on. The walls of work rooms were painted in good old battleship gray, the others a tan shade of off-white. The floors of the work rooms were covered by white tile, the others by yellowish-white carpet. The ceilings of all the rooms were out-and-out white. Only the executive meeting room seemed spacious; Jake thought the living quarters weren’t too many square meters bigger than his room on the ship.