Sympathy flooded Molly’s blue eyes. “Kate, I know...I know you don’t want to see him, especially with him getting ready to marry someone else.”
The reminder that the man she loved would marry someone else while she would be alone with his beautiful baby, somewhere else, set a new world of pain crashing down on her. Her eyes stung.
It might be her pregnancy hormones. Or the fact that time was galloping closer, ready to slam into her. It would be time to leave soon. It was time for her sister to marry. This morning Beth had told her she’d heard that Garrett had proposed to Cassandra already, and she’d wanted to warn Kate to be strong during the wedding in case he appeared with her.
He’d told her he wouldn’t bring anyone. But if they were engaged, he’d bring her, of course.
Yes. Soon, it would be time for Garrett to let her know that it was done, that he was engaged to another woman. But then, she already knew from Beth.
She helped Molly with the veil, all the while blinking back the tears, and then she softly kissed her cheek. “You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
“Kate, I want this for you,” Molly said, gesturing at her wedding dress.
Kate nodded. “That’s why I might just go after all, Moo. To find love and hopefully a family of my own.”
They shared a forlorn smile, until Eleanor’s shout from the bedroom snapped them out of it.
“It’s time, my little Molly dear!”
Molly’s eyes widened in excitement and she immediately puckered her lips into an O and drew in a series of little panting breaths that made Kate laugh. Poor Molly would probably be anxious for Julian to get her out of that dress tonight.
Molly smacked Kate’s derriere. “Come on, sis. Let’s go make that man mine,” she said cheekily, and Kate adjusted her train around her arm and told her she’d be right out.
It was definitely the hormones. Or maybe a broken heart. Or the sentiment of watching her baby sister in a wedding gown.
Whatever it was, Kate sobbed quietly in the bathroom stall for a quick minute, and then wiped her tears and patted her makeup dry. Once her eyes didn’t look so swollen, she went out into the gardens.
It was a perfect day for a wedding.
A breeze rustled through the oak trees. The sun blazed high in the sky, and it seemed the entire elite from Houston, Dallas, Austin and San Antonio was congregated at the Gage estate, all sumptuously dressed, many of the ladies wearing high-fashion hats on their heads.
Flowers framed the beautiful arched trellis, and the orchestra began softly with their violins while Kate quickly lined up behind Molly. She hadn’t even thought she’d have the courage to see Garrett today, but he stood at the other end of the red-carpeted aisle next to Julian, whose smile was mesmerizing, his green eyes staring possessively at Molly.
Kate’s gaze was magnetically drawn to Garrett, so stunning in his black tuxedo that her heart almost cracked with emotion when the “Bridal Chorus” began and Molly took the first step forward. Because this would never be her, walking up to him, like this.
* * *
Garrett’s mouth was watering like crazy. He was supposed to watch Molly make her grand entrance but he could focus only on one redhead, and even from afar, he could see that Kate’s eyes were full of tears, which just worried him and made him feel an insane need to go to her and embrace her and offer her support.
His thoughts filtered back to the day he’d met her. She and Molly had been brought up to the house by their father, the Gages’ new bodyguard. Molly had been a little bitty thing, toddling over to give her lollipop to Julian. Kate had been just a tad older, but she’d been as open and chatty as a teenager, immediately warming up to his mother, asking why this? Why that?
She’d made him scowl, and when she’d turned to talk to Julian and warn him not to take Molly’s lollipop, Garrett had immediately wanted her to pay attention to him, too. It had been the story of his life. Wanting her attention, her eyes on him, wanting everything from her and hating that he wanted it. He’d wanted to be the apple of her eye, and instead, he’d been the idiot who took away her father.
He’d promised himself he’d be her hero, and he’d tried like hell to protect her from everything he could—especially himself. When all he’d wanted was her. He’d withdrawn with ruthless self-discipline, telling himself that he’d never deserve Kate like Julian deserved Molly.
Today Garrett’s eyes were wide open. True, the past was loaded with regrets, but when he thought of the future, one without Kate at the center of it was unfathomable. No man on this earth would ever love and care for Kate and fight for her happiness more than Garrett would. Chest bursting with emotion, he watched the woman he loved walk behind her sister. He saw how her soft smile trembled with emotion, and God, he wanted to hug her and kiss those tears away, telling her whatever changed in her life, he’d always be her constant.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she came up the aisle. He imagined her walking up to him and his heart stuttered in his chest, he loved her so much.
Now she took her place across from Garrett as her sister tied the knot with the love of her life, and all Garrett knew was that he wanted to do this with Kate. He’d have Kate. Or he’d have no one.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...” The priest began the ceremony, and for several minutes, Garrett waited for Kate’s gaze to turn to him. Finally, her eyes flicked over to his, and his gut seized with need. She looked so beautiful. Her lips shone in a coral color, her blue eyes highlighted by the sapphire fabric of her dress. A silent plea brimmed in the depths of those eyes, and whatever it was she wanted, Garrett wanted to give it to her.
Not because he’d promised her father that he would. But because he was selfish and he got high on her smiles, got completely drugged and deliciously drunk with her happiness.
“I, Molly, take you, Julian John, to be my husband...”
As soon as he heard Molly speak, Garrett imagined Kate speaking that same vow to him. His chest squeezed as their gazes held across the altar, Kate’s blue eyes continuing to tear him to pieces.
She still wanted to leave, didn’t she?
But he wouldn’t let her.
Not after he’d had her trembling in his arms and whispering his name and giving him everything he’d always wanted.
He’d told himself every night for the past thirty nights that she might have felt pity for him, or that they were just a man and a woman in bed together, getting caught in the moment. It was bull. What they’d been caught up in had been years and years of denied attraction. Burning chemistry. Heated glances. And he was sick and tired of denying himself her.
The day she’d made love to him had been the best day of his existence. And he wanted to have her in his arms, where she belonged, every day and night in his future.
“You may now kiss the bride!”
Kate blinked and tore her eyes from his, looking startled as Julian grabbed Molly and twirled her around.
“Oh, crap!”
They ended up tangled in the train, and Kate came instantly to the rescue. Kate. Always taking care of Molly.
“I got it,” she said, laughing as she detached the train and Julian proceeded to carry a laughing Molly away, the blaring sound of the “Wedding March” following them.
Watching Kate struggle, Garrett stalked down the aisle, grabbed the other end of the tulle fabric and brought it over, watching her duck her head to avoid his gaze.
“Thanks,” she said, and he wanted to kiss her. God, why was this so difficult? They’d grown up together. She was the only woman who knew him, truly knew him. What he liked and loathed. That he would never truly feel like he deserved a life of his own.
If he was going to open up with someone, it should be easy to do it with her.
But the way she was acting
skittish and defensive filled him with dread. And he knew that this was going to be one of the hardest things he’d ever done.
She struggled with the tulle. When he reached out and captured her small hands, she sucked in an audible breath. His heart pounded as she looked up at him, those blue eyes wide and concerned.
“Tell me if I’m mistaken—” his voice was low “—but did my brother just marry your sister?”
She didn’t smile, but looked intently into his eyes as if she was as entranced as he was. “It only took a full hour, Garrett. You couldn’t have missed it,” she said.
Her mouth, the way it moved, drove him insane. “Apparently I did.”
“You were standing right there. Where were you? Mars?” She straightened and rolled her eyes as she started walking away, the tulle clutched against her chest, and he had to raise his voice a bit to be heard.
“I was in my bedroom, Kate. With you in my arms.”
She went utterly still, her back to him, and he knew she remembered. He could feel it in the air, burning between them.
But she didn’t turn. Instead, she started down the path that led to the Gage mansion. Garrett fell into step beside her.
“Kay, I need to talk to you,” he said.
“If it’s to tell me about your wedding, I already know. Congratulations,” she said.
He cocked a brow. “Then maybe you can tell me the details, since apparently you know more about it than I do? Dammit, I need to talk to you somewhere private.”
He grabbed her elbow to halt her, but she immediately yanked it free. “I need to talk to you, too, but I’m not doing it here. Nor am I doing it today.”
Simmering with frustration, he followed her again,. “Well, I am. So just listen to me.”
Stopping her, he forced her to turn and gazed into those accusing blue eyes, trying to find the words to begin the wrenching of his damned black soul. “I don’t know what happened to me the other day, Katie....What you told me left me so damn winded, I swear I didn’t know where to begin....”
Her hands flew to her ears. “Not here, please, please, not here!”
He pulled her arms down, scowling. “I know I hurt you, I know you don’t want me to apologize, but I need to say I am sorry. I am sorry for how things have gone down and for hurting you. I’m sorry for how it happened, Katie. I wish I’d done it differently. If I could take it back, I would, if only to get you to stop looking at me like you are just now.”
She whipped around to face him, her eyes flashing in fury. “You wish to take the night back, that’s what you wish? Oh, you’re something special, do you know that? You’re something else. I can’t even believe I let you put your filthy paws on me, you no-good—”
“Goddamn it, I really didn’t want to do it this way, Kay. But you’re giving me no choice!” Jaw clamped, he grabbed her and swept her into his arms and stalked across the gardens toward the house.
“Wha—” The tulle train fell inch by inch from her grasp and trailed a path behind them as she kicked and squirmed and hit his chest. “Garrett, stop! Put me down! What are you doing?”
He kicked the front doors open and carried her up the stairs, his jaw like steel, his hands blatantly gripping her buttocks. “Something I should’ve done a long, long time ago.”
Kate froze for a second, and then struggled with more effort. “Put me down!” she screeched.
He squeezed her bottom as he charged down the hall and into his old bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. “I’m not apologizing for the night I made love to you. Dammit, Kate, I’m apologizing for being responsible for your father’s death!”
He put her down on the bench at the foot of his old bed and stepped back so she didn’t kick him in the groin.
She went utterly still, but her chest heaved up and down, and damned if that wasn’t an attractive sight.
He expelled a long breath and continued. “Kate, I’m not going to apologize for the time you were mine. I won’t. I apologized once, but I didn’t mean it. I don’t regret a second of that time with you. Except not being more careful with you and more than anything, for not doing it sooner.”
She sat there, stunned and panting, and Garrett was only just beginning. His necktie was almost choking him as all his emotions surfaced like a hurricane gathering force.
“I apologize for not listening to your father that night, Kate. For being stupid and not listening—”
“Don’t!” she pleaded, raising her palms. “Garrett, please don’t apologize for that. Or for anything. Please stop apologizing to me. It was an accident. And it was his duty. My father would have...gladly died for you, for any Gage, for any reason. He was passionate about his job, and he was as passionate about you boys as if you were his children. He’d have done it over and over for you, Garrett. He loved you and I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
Her words were like a salve. They might never absolve him, but they appeased him, tamed the dark regret inside him. And stoked the little flickering flame of new hope there.
“You do love me, don’t you, Freckles?”
She met his gaze in silence. My God, her face. The blush spread everywhere, it seemed, and Garrett trembled with the urge to undress her and see that flush crawl along her skin.
When she didn’t say a word, neither affirming nor denying it, he knelt.
* * *
Kate’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets as Garrett Gage knelt at her feet.
“You asked me what I wanted from you—Kate, I want everything. The works. Yes, I want kids, I want to be your husband. I know I robbed you of a real family, and I want to give you one. I want to be the father of your children...not because I promised I would take care of you. Because I’m crazy-sick in love with you.”
His words sucked the wind out of her.
She sat there, clutching her stomach, not even remembering where the tulle had ended up falling on their way here. Runaway tears streamed down her cheeks as the things Molly and Beth had told her about a Clarks-Gage wedding vanished from her head and she realized with a fluttering heart that Garrett Gage was proposing to her.
“Kate, I’ve never felt like this before. I can’t think clearly when it comes to you. I’ve been trying to make you stay and at the same time that has driven you away. Don’t go, baby. Stay with me. Here. Be my wife. Let me love you like you deserve.”
She cried even harder, not believing this was happening. She had dreamed about this. For years. To the point that now her entire life and all her decisions revolved around forgetting it. Around trying not to want what she could never have.
And now Garrett Gage knelt, dark and beautiful at her feet, his face somber in its intensity, his gaze like liquid fire.
“If you think this has to do with the promise I made to your father, it doesn’t,” he murmured as he took her smaller hand within both of his. “I made that promise a long time ago and I’ve tried to keep it as best as I could. No, this is about me wanting to promise you, the woman I love, my future.”
She wiped her eyes, and squeezed one of his hands with hers. “What about C-Cassandra...?”
“She’s marrying Emerson. Our half brother.”
“Wh-what do you mean h-half—?”
A movement in the doorway made them both look up in surprise.
“Kate! What...?” Beth blinked. “I’m sorry...uh. This is a bad time, isn’t it?”
Garrett nodded, but Kate shook her head and wiped the rest of her tears away. “What is it, Beth?”
Beth pointed in the direction of the stairs behind her. “They’re all seated at the tables. And the maid of honor and best man need to speak before the toast.”
Garrett dropped his head and cursed under his breath.
“We’ll be right there, Beth,” Kate said, trembling from head to toe as s
he rose to her feet.
Garrett held her up and stroked his thumb along her jawline. “You can answer me later,” he said softly.
She nodded and rushed to the bathroom to pat her face dry with a tissue, making sure her mascara wasn’t dripping all over her face. Garrett waited outside in the hall for her, and every cell in her body screamed at her to fling herself into his arms when she realized he was still there. But she didn’t.
In silence, they went downstairs and into the gardens, and halfway there, after the backs of their hands bumped several times, he took her hand within his and led her across to their table.
Her throat closed, and she tried very hard not to think about the gesture and how many times she’d wanted it. It screamed “boyfriend” in her mind. Lover. Love.
Feeling as though five hundred pairs of eyes were on them as they made their way through the tables to the far end of the room, Kate held her gaze on the bride and groom.
Her fingers tingled when her hand unlatched from Garrett’s and they each headed to their places on opposite sides of the long table, where Molly and Julian sat watching them with wide smiles. Garrett went to stand at Julian’s side, and Kate stood next to Molly. Eleanor had indicated that she didn’t want to speak, and she seemed to be hiding behind a tissue right now, but Kate remembered how the groom’s mother always thought it proper that ladies go first. So Kate was the first to speak.
Regrettably.
She cleared her throat several times and shakily grabbed a small microphone, struggling to keep her voice level as she tried to quiet her racing mind. “Molly had a favorite story she liked for me to read,” she said into the microphone, keeping her eyes on Molly to keep herself focused. “There was a part she loved to hear, when Piglet asked Winnie the Pooh, ‘How do you spell love?’ And Pooh answered ‘You don’t spell it.... You feel it.’”
She blinked back her tears as she studied the delightful little bundle by the name of Molly, the only blood family Kate had known for over two decades. Seeing her sister so happy as she started a family of her own with Julian, while Kate herself had a baby in her tummy from the man she loved and a proposal she had always dreamed of, made her suddenly feel weightless with joy. Laughing to herself, she lifted her glass with her free hand.