"Mí na Samhna."
"What is that ... like Samhain? Halloween?" asked Spike.
"I believe the modern civilization calls it Samhain, yes. I have not heard this other word you used." Triden turned his attention back to the cavern. "Do not be alarmed at what you see this day. This is not our usual way." He stepped forward and disappeared around the corner.
CHAPTER SIX
SPIKE LOOKED AT ME, NERVOUSNESS etched into his features. "Ready to go?"
I sighed. "As ready as I'll ever be."
"Are you freaking out like I'm freaking out?" he asked.
I smiled. "Yep. Probably more."
"What do you think is in there?"
"Little goblins? Dwarves with sheets over their heads and eyes cut out of them? I have no idea."
"Do you think the others are already here? Ben and them?"
"I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it's better if they aren't." Much as I wanted to see Tony, I knew this was true for me.
"Why?"
"Because ... if we're all in here, and this is a trap, we're screwed. If someone stays outside, maybe we have a chance of getting out of any bad situation.
Spike nodded. "I hadn't thought of it that way."
Our conversation was cut off by Triden reappearing from around the corner. "Are ye coming or not?"
"We're coming," said Spike, putting his arm around me protectively.
We both moved forward slowly, my shoulders going up around my ears involuntarily as I prepared myself for what might be there. Whatever it was, it was making a hell of a racket. I jerked back involuntarily when something whizzed by my face and hit the wall next to me. I watched as a metal mug fell to the ground and rolled back and forth a few times on its side before coming to a stop, some liquid dripping out of it and pooling on the ground.
"What the ... ?" I asked.
"Don't mind the projectiles. We get a little excited during our celebrations," said Triden, a grin splitting his face.
We stepped around the corner finally and stared open-mouthed at the mayhem in the huge room.
Spike smiled at me. "Guess we got here just in time for the party."
"You can say that again," I said, my eyes taking in the hundred or so dwarves sitting at various tables. Many were wearing masks that made them look like lunatic toucans or crows. But there was one table at the far end of the room that was filled with attendees not in costume and not looking very happy to be there.
"Tony!" I yelled, releasing Spike's arm so I could run across the room to grab him in a bone-crushing hug.
"Not so fast!" said Spike, grabbing onto my hand and jerking me back.
I turned to frown at him. "What? Let me go ... it's Tony."
"Yeah," said Spike, looking pointedly up in a corner of the room. "And there's Samantha, and there's Ben." His eyes moved to another corner of the room.
I followed his gaze and felt my heart leap into my throat when I saw what had caught his attention. Both of them were in gilded cages suspended from the ceiling, looking extremely pissed off.
"Oh, shit," I said. "They're like big parrots up there."
"Shit, shit, shitty shit," sang Willy. "I'm-a fly up there, Lellmental. Lemme go see Sammy. I like Sammy. Sammy! Sammy!"
I reached over and bonked Willy lightly on the head. "Shush. Not right now. Maybe later. Remember ... no talking."
The little butthead gave me a raspberry out of both ends, but I ignored it. The last thing I needed to be doing right now was arguing with a child. I had bigger fish to fry, namely the fact that two of our fae posse were currently imprisoned in the middle of a party where there was obviously a lot of imbibing going on. A few dwarves were already sleeping it off on the floor under the tables.
"Nice and easy," said Spike, leading me slowly and carefully along the edge of the room, headed in the direction of our friends.
My eyes scanned the room, looking for exits or signs of our impending doom. My gaze took in the long picnic-style tables with benches on either side, the tabletops covered in platters of food. Dwarves apparently weren't the neatest of eaters because there were bits of what looked like turkey meat and vegetables all over the place, as much off the plates as on. Great big pitchers of what was probably beer, if the smell was anything to go by, sat about every four places down on the table. All of the cups were metal mugs like the one that had almost beaned me earlier.
We had almost reached the table when a largish dwarf stood up on a table and pointed his mug at us. "Silence!" he roared, brandishing his mug left and right, possibly threatening to brain anyone who didn't immediately shut up. It was effective. Within a few seconds you could have heard a pin drop in that room.
My bladder felt about twice its normal weight, and I wanted to pee like I never had before. A couple hundred eyeballs were glued to me and Spike, and by default, my roommates' baby. It took everything I had not to wet my pants.
"Who goes there!" he demanded to know. "Speak now or suffer the consequences!" He gestured up to the corners of the room that held the cages. I noticed for the first time that there were several other cages available, though empty at the moment.
I swallowed hard, opening my mouth to answer, but Spike beat me to it.
"We are Spike and Jayne!"
A low grumbling started across the room, but it was immediately silenced by the demanding dwarf again.
"What brings you into the bowels of Sliabh gCuillinn during Mí na Samhna?"
I wanted to answer by telling him we liked to party, but I wasn't so sure he was in the mood for jokes, so I went with option B. "We're here on a mission from the Here and Now. We were brought into your ... uhhh ... bowels by Triden."
"Triden who?" boomed our interrogator.
Oh, fuck. What were those names again? I looked at Spike, panicked that I hadn't paid better attention earlier.
Spike stared at me, but yelled out his answer. "Triden, son of Alden, grandson of Marsden, great grandson of ... ummm ... Helden?" He broke eye contact with me and turned to face the crowd. "Melvin? Devlin? Sorry, I forgot the rest."
I nodded in appreciation of his kickass memory. "Nice," I whispered, earning myself a nervous smile from a hot incubus.
The angry dwarf looked around the room. "Triden, son of Alden! Present yourself!"
Our guide climbed up onto a nearby table, now wearing a bird mask, and put his hands on his hips. "Here I be!"
"You vouch for these strangers and bring them into our midst?"
"I do nothing of the sort! They passed through of their own accord!"
More mumbling and grumbling ensued, but the leader ignored it, facing us now. "Well, what are ye waiting for then? Go see the others!" And he climbed down from the table, accepting a large pour from the nearest pitcher held by a roaring-drunk table-mate.
"What the hell was that all about?" I asked Spike, letting him lead me over to our friends.
"I think we passed the entrance exam."
I let go of Spike's hand as we neared the table, running over to reach Tony.
He was getting to his feet, looking at me with censure in his eyes as I approached.
I pulled him into a big-time hug as soon as he was close enough to touch, closing my eyes and squeezing for all I was worth. "Tones," I said into his neck.
Tony patted my back, sighing heavily. "Jayne. What are you doing here?"
I released him and stepped back a half-step, punching him lightly on the chest muscle. "Finding dragons. Partying with the dwarves in Sleeve Gullion or whatever. What are you doing here?"
Tony looked around. "I'm apparently doing the same thing. Minus the partying part." His gaze came back to penetrate mine. "This is no party, Jayne. These guys are keeping us here prisoner."
I frowned at him. "No, they're not. Don't be silly."
Tony looked up at the cages holding my two least favorite fae in the room. "That doesn't look like prison to you?"
I smiled. "No, actually it looks like karma and payback being a bitch, actuall
y."
"Jayne, I'm serious."
"So am I, Tones. I found out some serious shit about those two recently that you don't know about, and they tried to screw me over on the way here too, so forgive me if I have zero problem with them being hung from the ceiling like a couple of jailbirds."
"What are you talking about?" he asked, pulling me down to sit next to him at the table. I said a quick hello to Jared who'd moved over to make room for me.
I leaned in to speak to Tony as privately as possible. "Ben admitted to me that he's working with demons to get them out of the Underworld. And Samantha's been helping him all along."
Tony leaned away from me, frowning. "Don't be silly, that's not true. Who told you that?"
"Ben told me! And it's not silly, it's the truth! I tricked him into thinking I was on his side, and he let me in on his little stupid plan. He tricked Chase into thinking I was supposed to be bound to him, he tricked me into thinking Spirit blessed the union ... it was a total setup between him and Samantha."
"But why would they do that?" asked Tony, now sounding just confused.
"Because, he's never let go of that stupid idea of integrating with the humans. We wouldn't join the Dark Fae willingly, and every time they tried to fight us over it we both had casualties, so they fixed it so that we would join without any fight. Shit, we practically just jumped right into bed with them, all because my guardian angel said we needed to."
"You're talking about Chase, right? How could he possibly have been fooled? Isn't he immune to that stuff?"
"Apparently, an angel who's been fae is susceptible if the witch is strong." I glanced up at Samantha. "And she may suck a lot of the time, but everyone seems to agree on that point - that she's a badass with the magic stuff.
Tony nodded. "She is pretty amazing, actually."
I slapped Tony on the arm. "Snap out of it, Baloney Head. Seriously, we need to get the hell out of here and get to that dragon. It's leaving tonight, did you know that?"
He nodded. "Yes, we did hear that. But I wasn't kidding when I said that we are not allowed to leave here. We are guests but not the welcome kind."
I frowned. "Well, I was welcomed in."
Tony sighed. "You probably didn't come in throwing spell bombs on dwarves, though, did you?"
I laughed, thinking he was joking. "Uhhhh, no. Why in the hell would I do that?"
Tony said nothing, he just looked up at Samantha's cage.
"She didn't," I said, flabbergasted that she'd be so stupid.
"Yeah. At Ben's urging. I think he thought he was just going to come in here guns blazing and get whatever he wanted."
I snorted. "Yeah. That would be his giant head talking, for sure." I shook my head in disappointment. "I can't believe my fake partner is such an ass."
Tony put his hand on my arm. "Are you serious ... that he tricked Chase into binding you? I just ... can't believe he'd do that."
I pushed Tony's hand off, mad that he was acting like I'd made this crap up. "Believe it, Tony. He really did do that. He used me, and he used your friendship to make it all happen. He'll sacrifice anything to get what he wants."
"I guess we can't fault him for fighting for what he believes in."
"Tony!" I screeched before dropping my voice again. "Don't even go there with me today, okay? I have a baby pixie who's already peed his pants once and needs to fly to work off some energy, but I can't let him because there are crazy butt-web pixie demons out there and god knows what else that could eat him or spell him or who knows before I get him back to his parents. I don't need you and your forgiveness getting in the way of our mission or this pixie baby getting back home, do you hear me?!"
"Did you just say that ... no, wait ... " He lifted up his finger and started drawing shapes in the air.
"What?" I asked.
Tony looked back at me, his brows screwed up in confusion. "Say that part again about a baby pixie."
I held up my hand, the slumped-over form of a sleeping baby pixie sticking out of the top of my fist. "Baby pixie. Peed in my hand once already. Hungry. Parents are going to kill me. Get it?"
Tony's face went white. "You brought Willy into the Overworld?" His eyes locked in on me. "Are you crazy?"
"No, I'm not crazy! And no I didn't bring him with me. Little fucker hitchhiked in my damn backpack! And thanks to Samantha, he was sleeping so soundly I never heard him until it was too late."
"Oh, man, oh man, oh man ... Abby's going to ... " Tony looked afraid to finish his sentence.
"Yeah, I know. She's going to pixie me so hard I'll never see the light of depression ever again. Tell me about it."
"Damn. I don't even know what to say about that right now."
I waved him off. "Don't bother. I know already. It's super bad. Level ten bad. Off-the-charts bad. Defcon five awful. I'm just hoping I can get him back at all at this point."
I turned to look at Jared. "Hey, man. What's up?" I asked.
He took a sip from his mug. "Nothing much. Trying to come up with a plan to defeat a hundred and fifty-eight ... no, nine ... dwarves and find a dragon."
"Add to your equation that this particular dragon will be leaving shortly, too," I said.
"Are you kidding me?" he asked.
"Nope. Heard it from Triden, son of Guyden grandson of Fryden or whatever."
Jared put his mug down a little too hard. "Dammit!"
I smiled. "Shit's bad, folks. Jared's cussing now."
He gave me a humorless half-smile before staring down into his mug, tilting it towards him but leaving it on the table. "We're done. Before we've even started, we're done. The council is going to be so disappointed."
I patted him on the arm. "Don't be so sure about that. We haven't played all our cards yet."
He looked up at me. "You have a plan?"
"No, not really. But I'm pretty sure I'm not a prisoner here like you guys are. Maybe I can negotiate an early release for you."
"I'm almost afraid to imagine it."
I leaned into him, nudging him in the ribs. "Shut up. As if you have any other options." I caught Jared glancing up at the cages above, Ben's in particular. "Don't even think about involving that turd-for-brains. He is not on our side."
Jared frowned. "Why would you say that?"
"Short story version? ... He lied to all of us, and Sam helped him. She's been spelling our asses since day one to believe in the binding, their plans, everything. They're in with Torrie, Leck, and Maléna. All of them are working to bring down the veil and open the portals, without guardians at the entrances."
Jared shook his head. "No. I cannot believe that about either of them."
I shrugged. "Believe what you want. He told me himself when he thought I was on his little fucked-up team. He'll do whatever it takes to integrate with the humans, including letting the demons out to do their nasty business."
"But why? Why would he do that? What could he possibly hope to accomplish?"
"Let the demons run loose for a little while, eat a few humans, destroy a few towns, get the people and politicians all freaked out and then swoop in and offer them a solution."
Jared nodded slowly at first and then more forcefully. "Don't tell me, let me guess ... he can get rid of their demon problem for you on one condition."
I smiled, patting Jared on the back. "You got it."
"Accept us as equals," he finished.
I grabbed Jared's mug from his hand, taking a swig out of it before banging it down on the table. "No. Not as equals. As superiors." I looked up at Ben and caught him glaring down at me. I raised up the mug in his direction, winking once before taking another sip. Here's to you, assbag. I hope you swing up there for an eon before they let you out.
"That's just ... ridiculous," said Jared, now looking up in Samantha's direction. "What happened to her?" he asked no one in particular.
"My guess?" I said. "She fell under Ben's spell. He can be very charming when he wants to be. Plus, the Light Fae council kind of left h
er out to dry, you know. Ben came in right after you left and rescued her from the streets of Miami. We can hardly blame her for her allegiance to the Dark Fae and feelings about the humans, can we?" As I said it, I realized the truth of it. I felt very close to my Light Fae brethren, even when they were pissing me off. They'd rescued me from my own personal hell, but I hadn't gone through nearly as much as Samantha had. She had twice as much reason to hate me as I did her.
"So what are we going to do?" asked Jared.
I tried not to laugh at that, but it was either that or crying. "Are you kidding me?"
Jared turned his head to look at me more directly. "No. Why?"
"Because you're the boss of this mission, not me. I have no idea what we're supposed to do. I'm not even supposed to be here!"
"Which brings us to a good question. What are you doing here?"
I shrugged. "Same thing you are. Finding a dragon to watch a portal. Watching my friends' backs."
"You weren't on the list for a reason, Jayne," he sighed.
"Yeah, I know. But aren't you glad I'm here?" I glanced up at my former partner at the ceiling. "Looks like you took the wrong elemental on this trip."
Jared said nothing; he just took his mug out of my hand and drained it. "What's done is done. It's time for us to figure out where we stand with these dwarves." He moved as if to stand.
I grabbed his arm and held him down. "What are you going to do?" I whispered loudly.
"Since when are you the one putting on the brakes?" he asked, a mischievous smile quirking up the corners of his mouth.
"Since I got stuck in the bowels of a gigantic mountain in the middle of a friggin halloween celebration."
He patted my hand before removing it from his arm. "Watch and learn, young fae."
I laughed. "Okay then, oh wise one. Do your thang. Just don't come crying to me when you're hanging in a cage later."
He frowned at me once before banging his mug down on the table several times to get the dwarves' attention.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I STARED OUT OF THE bars of the cage I was sharing with Samantha, trying my best not to even look at her. If I saw her stupid face again, I was liable to punch it and start a chick fight for the entertainment of our captors - a literal cage match.