Chapter Three
Field Exam
I stared up at the ceiling of my room with my hands behind my pillow. I had been staring at the picture of Zell--fastened there since the beginning of my crush--since Zell had left me at the door of my dorm with a smile, a touch on the nose, and a kiss longer than the normal peck.
Sleep had been chased away by that kiss.
I couldn't say that I stressed over anything, I just couldn't sleep. I wasn't over-analyzing anything either. I just stared at his picture and remembered stellar points of my three-year 'relationship' with him, comparing that to the past week of being his actual friend, and the last few days of girlfriend.
I stretched and looked over at the clock on my bedside table. Five o'clock. I guess I should get up. I released a deep breath just as a knock sounded on the door. I sat up and stared at it--
Knock-Knock
“Who is it?”
“It's Zell, Sally. Can I talk to you for a sec?”
I blinked at the not-so-bright tone in his voice, pinched myself to make sure I wasn't having a nightmare, and straightened my sweatshirt and leggings--I always used them as a 'nightie'--as I made my way to the door.
“Sure. I'm coming.” I opened the door. Zell leaned against the frame as usual, but his expression looked troubled when he raised his gaze from the ground. “Zell? What's the matter?”
“Garden just got a request for SeeDs,” he said somberly.
I would have smiled, due to the fact a request meant a field exam, but Zell's mood kept any relief firmly squashed. Instead, I stepped from my room and closed the door behind me. “Doesn't that mean I get my field exam?” I asked, carefully watching his face.
He nodded, lowering his gaze to the floor again. “Yep, but I don't like this one, Sally. I've got a bad feeling.”
“Why?”
Zell looked at me. “A bunch of radicals stole some Galbadian missiles. They're holding hostages at my old orphanage.”
I paled and reached out to touch his arm. “Are you OK?”
Zell nodded. “I'm fine, but I don't want you to go on this one. It's going to be-- It'll be really dangerous.”
“Maybe they won't assign any candidates,” I assured him.
Zell shook his head and turned to lean against the door, crossing his arms. “I got the list. You're on it.”
“Oh.” I lowered my gaze and took in a deep breath. Then I leaned against the door beside him. “Because of my computer knowledge.”
Zell gave a nod, adjusting his crossed arms even tighter. “They'll probably get you to the missiles and have you disengage the arming mechanism. That's what I would do.” He moved his gaze to my profile. “I know you can handle this, but I don't want you to go.”
And I knew exactly how he felt. I had felt the same way each time he had gone on a mission. I met his gaze after releasing another deep breath. “Are you an observer?”
Zell shook his head. “No. I couldn't. I have two Fire Cavern exam-qualifiers scheduled today.” He frowned and looked away. “Damn it,” he muttered.
I continued to watch his profile. It hurt deep to see him like this, and I could feel my lip tremble. “Zell, I'm sure I'll be okay. There will be SeeD there watching, right?”
“Yeah, but ‘SeeD watching’ won't help when the damn missile blows up in your face,” he said a bit harshly.
I blinked, completely surprised at his not-so take-it-as-it-goes attitude. He looked away. “Zell--”
“I'm scared, Sally,” he confessed.
I blinked again, staring at him wide-eyed.
When Zell looked back over at me, a serious expression made his blue eyes black. “I think I get why Squall always kept everyone outside. It hurt too much to see them get killed.” He reached out to cup my face in his hand, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I don't want to see your name on the casualty list.”
My throat tightened as tears brimmed, but I tried my best to give him a reassuring smile. It must have looked truly pathetic.
Zell suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace. “You be really careful, Meg. Don't forget anything we've worked on, you hear me?”
I squeezed my eyes closed to stifle the tears that flowed as my arms wrapped tightly around him. “I promise,” I whispered in a choked voice.
Zell held me for a long time after that. It was like every war movie I had ever seen, with the hero going off to war and never coming back. When he finally pulled away, he sent me a forced smile and held my chin with his hand.
I knew he saw those movies, too.
“We can't work out today,” he said quietly. “You're being shipped out at 06:00. Pack your gear and get changed. Be at the parking lot at 05:30. They'll take you to Balamb and the transport.”
“All right,” I whispered.
Zell stared down at me for a long second before clearing his throat and lowering his hand from my face. Then he reached behind him and pulled something from the back pocket of his worn jeans: His Ergheiz gloves. My eyes widened. “I want you to take these, Meg.” He presented them to me, still not looking at my face. “Use 'em good.”
I hesitantly accepted the gloves, staring down at them with wide eyes. Then I moved my gaze to Zell's somber expression. He still stared at the gloves. “I will,” I promised.
Zell nodded, clearing his throat again as he absently rubbed his hands on the back pockets of his jeans. “OK, well, I better jet.” He finally met my gaze. “Come back, Sally. You hear me?”
I nodded, eyes wide, tears falling, gloves held in tightly fisted hands.
He gave another brief nod and turned to walk slowly away, his hands submerged deeply into his pockets. All I could do was watch him go, my throat tightening around any words that I would have said.