I was worried.
I was beyond worried, and I needed to do something about it.
Which just brings me to the little monkey on my back. Or, rather, the fact that ever since my sister sent that text on Saturday, Thorn's been a constant shadow. He doesn't say it, but I think London's text, his call to her, and the visit I had from Thomas was just too much for him at once. It's better today than it's been. He finally went in to The Alibi to deal with things he couldn't ignore any longer, but that didn't mean I would head to Piper's without at least asking him if he wanted to come with me. A week from now, yes. But not when he's left me for the first time since that happened only hours before.
I pad through his house, almost tripping over Dwight when he darts out in front of me. I left my phone in the kitchen when I went to get dressed, intending to use Thorn's massive in-home gym after I cleaned some around the house. But that could wait until later.
"Thorn," he barks in the phone.
"Hey. You okay, honey?"
His phone picks up the rush of air that leaves his mouth. "Sorry, Ari. Just busy. What do you need, baby? Something wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. Just wanted to let you know I wanted to head over to Piper's. I need to check on her. I know you've been working through some stuff, so I was calling to tell you what I planned in case you wanted to come with me."
"I didn't think it was that obvious." He laughs halfheartedly. "I'm fine, baby. With you getting sick on top of that other shit, it just fucked with my head. It was more because you got sick from that stomach bug than anything else. Didn't help when you told me you got so tired you were struggling to stay awake while driving home from Trend yesterday."
"I know. I understand it too, Thorn. I do."
"I can't get away. I would if I could, but I have to deal with this shit. If you want to go check on her, I think it's a good idea, but let me see if Wilder can drive you to ease my mind. With him there, I won't have to worry that you'll overdo it, causing that shit to come back."
"Okay, honey."
"I'll call you back if he can't; otherwise, I'll make sure he comes right over."
"Sounds good. Thank you for taking care of me."
"Nothing else I'd rather do. Love you, baby."
"Love you, too."
We disconnect, and I finish up the things I had been in the middle of before the need to drive to Piper became something I couldn't postpone a second longer this morning.
"How does that mess in the back seat not bother you?"
Wilder scoffs.
"It would bother me. And your windows aren't tinted. That's embarrassing, Wil."
"It's been a busy week," he grumbles.
"It was so busy that you couldn't pick up the sea of condoms in the back seat? Isn't there some warning about heat and direct sunlight making them ineffective?"
Wilder looks over at me in horror before focusing back on the road. "That's not funny."
I giggle. "Actually, it really was. You should have seen your face. Why do you have all those condoms back there anyway?"
The slight blush on his cheeks is ridiculously charming even when we're talking about condoms. This man watched Thorn give me a strip tease months ago, and he's constantly giving us a hard time about always being locked away with each other when we go for drinks at Barcode or even meet him for dinner. One thing he's never been is bashful. Well, unless the very girl we're headed to check on is around, that is.
"I didn't mean to have condoms back there, okay? Let's just call it a Costco trip gone wrong and leave it at that."
My lips twitch.
"Plus, you make it sound much worse than it is. There's probably only fifty or sixty of them."
"You need that many?" I ask in shock.
He looks over, blush gone and a wolfish grin in place. "Babe."
"God, you sound like Thorn."
"Taught him everything I know. Which means you shouldn't be surprised by Costco condom runs."
Now it's my turn to blush. He turns into Piper's neighborhood, and I stare out the window. I close my eyes, my cheeks getting hotter when he makes a sound of disbelief.
"You two are practically fused together, and you're getting shy on me over condoms?"
"It's not that." I giggle at the picture of Thorn and me fused together.
"Look, if you aren't ready for Costco runs, just dig into the sea back there," he jokes, laughing at himself.
"For your information, we don't need them."
I point at her house, and he pulls his car into the driveway.
"I'm afraid to ask why you don't need them. Mainly because this conversation is putting shit in my mind that has no right to be there, but also because I'm concerned your answer means I didn't teach that bastard a thing after all. Pride and ego, Ari. Pride. And. Ego."
"How about you just shut up about it and stop thinking about my sex life with Thorn?"
"Fucking hell. You two want to play with fire, go ahead. This conversation is stopping before I envision something I'll never forget."
"You're something else, Wilder."
He opens his door and turns to look at me with that wolfish grin again. "You don't need to butter me up, darlin'. I like you already."
I roll my eyes but ignore him, not wanting to egg him on further. "Come on. I've got a spare key, and I'm not afraid to use it."
"Thorn know you might go all breaking and entering if he misses some calls from you?"
"For your information," I call over my shoulder, "there haven't been just some calls missed. Over the past five days, I've called her over and over. Piper and I don't do that. So I'm here. And Thorn wouldn't ignore my calls." I don't point out that I can't break and enter into a house that I'll be sharing with him as soon as I can get my stuff moved in. I'll let Thorn have the honors.
"Whatever you say."
I unlock the door and step inside the dark house. The lights are all off and the blinds all pulled. The air still. Too still. A chill rolls down my spine, and I shake it off. Wilder is by my side instantly. He's alert with all signs of the jokester gone, hiding behind his stern focus. We move into the house, him in front of me. My eyes roaming the mess. A broken table by the front door, the one where she used to keep her keys and toss her mail on. A vase shattered near the living room, the flowers that had been in it all over the floor. I'm sure, at one point, there had also been a giant wet spot. We keep walking, more signs of something wrong scattered here and there.
We go through three more rooms before we find Piper. She's curled into a ball on her bed, tucked so tight I had missed her in the sea of pillows and bedding the first time I glanced into the bedroom.
"Piper!" I cry, rushing forward, but stop when Wilder's hand prevents me from moving anymore. "Hey!"
"Get pissed all you want. Wait a fucking second." He steps forward, leaning over her prone form, and pulls the comforter off her face. Tenderly, something so unlike him, he brushes the tangled hair out of her face. A sharp curse leaves him that has me moving. I don't care what he says. She looks away from him and blinks up at me with tears falling. One eye swollen and bruised, and a cut on her lip that's not fresh but still ugly. When she sees me, the tears start falling.
"Oh, Pipe."
"I ..." She closes her eyes. "I think I'm ready to take you up on that offer now. That is, if you still need a cat watcher/plant waterer/or whatever other excuse you tried to come up with to get me out of here. I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm so sorry."
"None of that, Pipe. I hate that I have to ask, but where is Matt? Do we have time, or should we rush?"
She shrugs one shoulder and winces. "He hasn't been back. Not for a few days. He shouldn't be ... God, he's not been back. Not even to check that I was ... he's ..." She takes a shuddered breath. "We have time."
God, my Piper.
"Shh," I coo. "None of that. Let Wilder get you sorted with some ice on that eye. You just rest on the couch, and I'll take care of everything else. You're safe now."
&
nbsp; We both help her get up. She's moving slow, and even though I can't see any other visible injuries, I don't doubt there's more than the eye can see. Wilder leaves with her, the expression on his face sticking with me while I go about packing as much of Piper's life as I can fit in whatever suitcases, duffles, and totes I can find. We won't get it all, but I'll make sure there isn't anything here that she can't live without. Just in case.
I just finish zipping up the last duffle bag I found in her closet when Wilder walks back in the bedroom. I sway a little when I straighten, reaching out to grab the edge of the dresser to steady myself. Pressing my hand to my stomach, I pray the stomach bug isn't about to rear up and bite me again.
"You okay?"
I nod, swallowing the warm rush of saliva.
"It pass?" he asks when I drop my hand a minute later.
"Yeah. I think so, at least."
"Hmm," he hums.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Wilder," I drawl.
"Hey, none of my business, remember? Just that everyone I know who got that nasty shit, it didn't ever just 'pass' for them. Not once while they had it. Guess you're lucky." He winks, but I can see past that and the anger that's boiling close to the surface over what we walked in on. "Or you have a different issue making you nauseous that Costco could've prevented."
"Oh, shut up. I'm on the pill!"
"Whoa," he grunts when I slap his hard stomach. "Just saying. Want some of that sea now? Just in case?"
"You're ridiculous. I'm putting this last bag in the car. You get Pipe. No more talking about condoms, sex, or anything!"
He laughs for a second before his face falls when Piper moans in pain from the other room, and then he gets serious, leaving the room. I heave the bag over my shoulder and walk to the car. All I let myself think about is Piper. She needs me. Once she's settled and I make sure she doesn't need medical help, then I can sit down and try to remember when I had my last period.
Shit.
When we get to my house, I help Piper get cleaned up. Aside from the eye and her lip, she didn't have any other injuries, but she desperately needed a shower. At least, she assured me that she didn't. Wilder didn't leave the hall outside the guest bathroom once. Not until I led her to my bed and tucked her in. He was at her side when I stepped away, one finger gliding over the brow above her swollen eye, not touching her injury. She let him, her eyes closing, and I suddenly felt like I was watching something that wasn't meant for me to see.
He stepped back, moment forgotten, but didn't leave the room. Since Piper didn't exactly seem to want him gone, I chose to ignore him and sat on the side of the bed to ask her what happened. Three days she had laid in that bed alone after the argument with Matt that resulted in her being hurt, only leaving to use the restroom and try to eat. She was holding it together, but I also wasn't going to test that and push for more. Namely being where the heck Matt was. She was safe. That's what mattered.
When I left the room, Wilder followed. The second I closed the door quietly, he started moving like a man on a mission.
And he hasn't stopped since.
He pulled the stuff I packed up out of the car and moved it into one of the guest rooms. He even drove back to her house and loaded her car up with all the things from her closet I couldn't fit. I tried to hide the shock when he left for a second time. It only lasted briefly, though. The large pile in the middle of my guest room he'd created only grew as he continued coming back with more loads. When he heaved in a huge television that I know for a fact had been hanging on her living room wall, I decided not to even touch whatever was happening in his head. Clearly, something was driving him. Though, I'm pretty sure what they had successfully ignored over the months wouldn't be unnoticed any longer. I left the guest room and let him do what he needed. If he wanted to keep driving over there and take everything but the kitchen sink, I wasn't stopping him. I secretly hoped that Matt would cross his path while he was there, so Wilder could teach him a lesson.
"I think you got everything that matters ... and then some," I tell him three hours later when he walked out of the guest room and didn't storm out of the house. Five trips. Apparently, that's all he needed.
"One less thing she has to think about."
"I'm not sure she's going to need the shelves from a bookcase without the actual bookcase, though."
"Couldn't fit the case, brought the shelves instead."
Goodness, what I wouldn't do to see the state he left that house in.
"Thank you, Wilder. You didn't have to do all of this, but it means a lot. I know it will for her too, even if she might need your help figuring out what to do with shelves and no case."
He shakes his head. "Is she okay?"
"She will be. Piper's not alone, and she's stronger than she thinks. She's safe, and that's what matters."
"Good. That's good."
His voice is strained and his face pinched tight, but I leave it be. I don't want to pry when I have a feeling he needs to figure out what he's feeling himself.
"How about I give Thorn a ring and then order us something to eat?"
He glances down the hallway to my bedroom before looking back at me. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'm sure he'll want me to stick around until he can get here anyway."
I don't confirm that he very well might. Especially since I'm pretty sure Wilder said that to justify staying to himself, regardless.
God, what a crazy day.
I'll never stop waiting
I need more hangers.
A lot more hangers.
I step back and blow a piece of hair out of my eye. The last dress that I needed to hang sways on the metal rod slightly. Next to that one, about twenty more from the same color family. I still have about half of my stuff left to transfer to Thorn's, but what's here fills so much of the empty space that had been here before, the transformation is shocking. No more sea of gray and black in here. Nope. Not with my colorful wardrobe.
The shoes, still sitting near his, make me smile every time I see them. There is tons of space to use the shelves near my clothes for them, but if he doesn't mind, I'm leaving some of my collection right there sidled up to his for a while. At least, until it no longer gives me butterflies when I see it.
Aside from some personal items, the rest of my closet's contents, and what few important furniture pieces I had from my parents, I had all but moved in. Thorn's spent every single chance he gets showing me just how much he likes that I'm here, too.
I stayed with Piper at my house for a week before she nicely asked me to stop coddling her. That was the same day Wilder showed up with a work crew and installed some super fancy alarm in the house. He said Thorn called him to let him know I was going home--to Thorn's--but he was lying. How he knew I was leaving, I still don't know. I just gave Piper a hug and reminded her I was only a call away. Her need for space was just a little greater than her desire to settle into the house that would become hers. When she was ready to deal with the paperwork of me giving it to her, that is.
Just like I told Wilder that day we brought her there, she's stronger than she realized. I hate what it took for her to realize what she couldn't accept before, but I know she'll pick herself up and find her way. Until she does, I'll be there every step of the way. Lord knows she's done the same for me over the years. So many times I lost count. Now I can return the favor.
I took her need for space and threw myself in it. Using the past two days that Thorn's been busy at work, I've avoided the huge elephant in my mind by moving my things into our home.
It was pointless to ignore what I knew couldn't be ignored. Not when I had five positive pregnancy tests hiding in my purse.
My stomach roils, and I close my eyes, a tear rolling down my cheek.
This is bad. Really, really bad.
It didn't matter, logically, that what worried me was that I fell in love with just the thought of what those positive tests meant instantly. Not when they could be the reason I lose ev
erything else.
In the end, it didn't matter that Thorn and I loved each other completely.
It didn't matter that I knew that love was something some people never find. The kind that, without a doubt, we would still have for each other until the day we left this earth.
What mattered was how Thorn would feel when I told him that my birth control failed, and he was going to be a father.
A father he had told me he didn't ever want to be.
If I tell you I never want to ruin a kid by passing on the shit I'm made from, is that a deal breaker for you?
I swat at my cheeks when more tears fall, his words from the Mexican restaurant parking lot slamming into me. It wouldn't have been a deal breaker. I know that now in my gut. He would have always been enough. Fate, on the other hand, apparently had something else in store for us.
You've changed the way I look at things, a lot of things I never thought I would change my mind on, but I'm not sure kids would be one of those things even the beauty of you could fix.
The echo of his words keeps coming, and the tears speed up.
He has no idea. None. Knowing that he doesn't think he's worthy of bringing a child into this world is heartbreaking enough. It wasn't until he told me he wasn't sure the beauty our love gave him would be enough to change his mind that I realized how serious he was.
The only thing I know for sure is, no matter what happens when I tell him, this baby is made from love, and I'll do everything I can to prove to Thorn just how incredible he is ... and how lucky our baby will be to have him as its father. If that doesn't work, I'll be crushed, but I won't be alone. I'll raise what our love created, my heart beating for his still--but also our child, and know I'll never find someone else to share that with.
"Ari!" Thorn calls, startling me from my thoughts.
Is it already six? Crap.
I grab my phone from the shelf I had placed it on and flinch. Quarter to seven. He's late, not surprising, since he's still short staffed at The Alibi.
His heat covers my back, and I pull in a deep breath, the scent of his cologne soothing some of my anxiety. His arms wrap around me, giving a little hug, then he drops them, and I know what's coming next.