Chapter Fourteen
I was in hell.
That was the only explanation for the temperature. Though a rational part of my brain could tell the air was cool and dark, I felt like I was burning up. Throwing back the covers helped, and I barely had time to register the fact that I was in Bishop’s bed when I noticed the music. Gorgeous piano music, so smooth and flowing it distracted me from my torment and carried me along. It was a live, tangible thing and it surrounded me with exquisite grace. Drowning my petty issues until I wanted to be a part of it, but didn’t dare raise my voice to join it for fear of breaking the spell.
The next thing I knew I was crying. I don’t know where it came from, but silent tears rolled down my cheeks from the sheer beauty of it. I wasn’t sad, just emotional as the music touched me down to my soul. That brought a joyful sob as I realized I must still have a soul. That kind of thing wouldn’t happen to me if I was just an evil shadow of the person I used to be before I’d been turned, would it?
All at once the music stopped and a moan of regret escaped me in the stillness that followed.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Bishop appeared in the doorway, his face anxious.
“Nothing.” Why would he assume anything was wrong? I swiped at my wet cheeks, thinking that might have given him the wrong impression. “Was that you playing?” I’d assumed it was a recording, but then I remembered the grand piano in the living room.
“You’re not hurt?”
All at once the feverish heat returned and I choked back my reply that I was fine, to shake my head until the wave of discomfort passed.
“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t come here again.”
Same song and dance. “I needed your help. I didn’t ask you to put me in your bed,” I reminded him, expecting to find my clothing plastered to my skin with sweat, but it was perfectly dry. A bonus from my new constitution I supposed, but not one I could appreciate in that moment.
“You were unavailable for comment when I found you. You know, that was pretty stupid. The shape you were in, anyone could have done anything to you.”
At the time I didn’t care. “I’m sorry.” The idea that he even cared would have been comforting if I didn’t feel like I had the swine flu. “I think there’s something wrong with me.” His hands were blissfully cool on my forehead, and I leaned into his touch.
“You’re burning up,” he frowned, pushing against my lips to look into my mouth, but I turned my head away at the invasive touch. “You need to feed.”
“I need a cold drink, I feel like I’ve got a fever. I thought vampires didn’t get sick,” I grumbled, wishing he’d put his hand against my cheek again. How come he was cool as a cucumber and I was on fire?
“Haven’t you hunted since you left here?” His brows drew together into a single dark line, and I recoiled from the anger I saw there. Why was he so mad at me?
“No, I have no idea how to go about it. I don’t suppose you’ve noticed but I’m a little out of my depth here. Is that what’s making me burn like this?”
“Your body is starting to consume itself. It’ll drive you further and further out of control until instinct takes over, unless you give it what it wants.”
Blood. He meant blood. At that point I would have settled for something from the butcher’s counter. “Can you help me? Do you have blood stored here for emergencies? Or maybe you could show me what to do? How to eat someone without killing them, and how to keep them from calling the cops?”
“There isn’t any time. You shouldn’t have waited so long.” Bishop took off his jacket and approached the side of the bed, pushing up his sleeve.
“What are you doing?”
“Come here.” His voice was gentle. “I’m going to give you a little bit, just this once to tide you over.” Lifting his wrist, he held it a few inches away from my mouth and I stared at the smooth expanse of pale skin.
“You want me to bite you?”
“That is the general idea, yes.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a half smile.
“I thought… don’t vampires just feed from humans?
“In general, yes. Largely because most vampires aren’t the sharing type.”
“And you are?” I replied, my voice tinged with doubt. That didn’t jibe well with the picture he’d painted of himself so far.
“I’m not saying I’ll let you drain me dry, just a taste to get you through the worst of the thirst, so you can hunt without taking someone’s head off.”
“Oh, okay,” I nodded, that sounded reasonable enough. I scooted closer, dangling my legs over the side of the bed. My mouth opened and closed, but I didn’t get more than an inch closer to his wrist. “I don’t think I can do it. Biting into a person, it sounds so… barbaric.” It was different than standing over Bridget’s bed. For one thing there wasn’t a pulse calling out to me, and he was dead after all, like I was. Would he taste as good as a regular human?
“It is. But it’s part of who you are now. You have to learn to embrace it if you want to survive.”
My mouth opened again, and I leaned closer, lips brushing lightly against his skin before I chickened out. “You don’t smell like a person. Not that you smell bad… I mean I like the way you smell, you just don’t smell like… food.”
“Anja…”
“Right, I can do this…” Finally, deciding I was wasting enough time being such a baby about it, my mouth fastened over his wrist, fangs piercing the skin in one swift movement. I never knew which one of us made the first noise, the sound of my own groan of pleasure over the taste of his powerful blood mingled with his as my mouth pulled at his flesh.
If drinking human blood was like eating the juiciest, most savory burger from your absolute favorite hang out, this was like eating a gourmet meal at a four star restaurant. Everything about his blood was richer, stronger; I could feel it down to my toes the moment it hit my taste buds. The small amount of human blood I’d taken the other night had done nothing to prepare me for such a potent drink, and I wondered why vampires would ever want to drink from humans at all. Especially if it felt as good to him as it sounded.
His fingers sank into my hair, binding me to him as I drank, and his body shifted, seeking mine out. My body responded instinctively, craving more contact with his in the intimate act. The next thing I knew, he was stroking my back, fingers slipping under my shirt in search of bare skin. And then I was touching him too, hands moving over the broad planes of his chest, down his abdomen to the hardness below.
Another groan tore from his throat at my touch and I pressed myself against him shamelessly as I drank and drank. It was wrong, I knew it even as I did it, but I found myself powerless to stop, wanting to take it even further. In that moment, I wanted him to reciprocate, even though that would defeat the purpose of what we were doing. I wanted to feel what he was feeling because it sounded incredible.
“That’s enough.” His voice was husky with need, and my body responded to the tone rather than the words. Holding fast to him, I wriggled even closer. He couldn’t possibly want me to stop… “I said that’s enough.” Bishop tore his wrist from my questing mouth, and I buried my face against his abdomen, breathing raggedly to keep from crying out at the loss. Instead of pushing me away as I thought he would, Bishop wrapped his arms around me, a shuddering breath going through him too.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, knowing I’d crossed a line.
“It’s nothing, it’s your nature.” His voice was softer and I felt his fingers sift through my hair.
It wasn’t nothing, but I didn’t say anything else, it felt too nice to have him hold me. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, I could have lingered in his arms all night, but eventually he let go of me and stepped away, and I bit my lip to keep from protesting the withdrawal. I looked up, expecting to see some sort of disapproval on his face, but his expression was shuttered.
“I think
I need a drink, you want anything?” His voice was mild, as if we had been watching TV instead of pawing at each other not two minutes before.
“No, I’m good.” That was an understatement, I felt fantastic. No longer hot and feverish, my entire body thrummed with life. As I rose to my feet to follow him into the living room, I felt lighter, my balance restored. No more clumsy Anja crashing her way into the coffee table and everything else. I’m pretty sure my hair was bouncier and shinier too, it was like an instant makeover from the inside out. If anyone ever figured out how to bottle vampire blood and distribute it to the nation, they’d make a fortune. Or more likely, end up dead at the bottom of the river.
Bishop obviously wanted to ignore what passed between us, so I went with it, taking a seat on the couch while he stood next to the sideboard, drink in hand. “Was that you playing the piano before?”
“What are you doing here, Anja?”
So much for small talk. “I needed help, I didn’t know where else to go.”
“We talked about this. I’m not your Sire.”
“Okay, but who else could I possibly ask? Everyone at the bar thinks I know what I’m doing. Aleksandr, Jarrod, Rob, even Scotty thinks I’m an old hand at this. One wrong question and I’m toast. Actually no, I don’t think Rob thinks I’m that old for some reason.”
“What was that?”
“I’m toast, you know, done for?”
“No, what you said about Rob. What did he say to you? Exactly.” Bishop set his drink down on the table, sitting next to me on the couch, but with a cushion of space between us.
“He said… that I should feed soon or something like that. I can’t remember exactly. What is he, by the way? I can tell he’s not a regular human.”
“You can tell that?” Bishop’s brow puckered.
“Then I’m right? He’s not normal, is he?”
“That’s not my story to tell. But watch what you say around him, his loyalties are his own.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I nodded all the same. “I’ll try to remember that. I think he’s sweet on my roommate,” I smiled, remembering their banter the night before.
“Lucky her,” he frowned, and I wondered if that meant he was jealous? He had taken note of her… attributes, when he’d first met her. “Look, I took care of your immediate need, I think you’d better be on your way. I have work to do.”
“See, but that’s the problem. You can’t slap a Band-Aid on it and hope that’ll take care of it. I have no idea how to survive as a vampire. Can you give me a rulebook or a manual on how to hunt or something? Vampire 101? Even the slayer got a handbook, not that Giles even gave it to her…”
“Try the net.”
“I did, but it’s full of crap.” I scowled when I saw on his face that he hadn’t been serious, his lips twisted into a smirk like it was all a big joke. “Don’t you dare laugh at me! I didn’t ask for any of this. I can’t help it if I have no idea how to eat without maiming someone. I almost killed Bridget last night, did you know that? You probably don’t even care. You probably think it’s no big deal, but it’s important to me. For once in my life I can’t turn to books or my parents to help me out of a problem. I can’t do this all by myself. If you knew anything about me, you’d know how hard it is for me to be here asking for your help, because trust me, you’ve made it more than clear that you don’t want anything more to do with me.” I turned away, not wanting him to see me cry again as the storm of emotions washed over me. He probably thought I cried at the drop of a hat.
“Anja…”
“No, I don’t want to hear again how this isn’t your problem. I get it. I don’t even know why I came here.” Swiping at my wet cheeks, I looked around for my shoes, not having a clue where they were. What kind of a person tucked a girl into his bed, took off her shoes to make sure she was more comfortable, gave her his own blood to drink and then kicked her to the curb? I looked under the couch, by the door, in his bedroom…
“Anja, just stop for a minute.”
“No, you want me out, I’m out. Where the hell are my shoes!” I was losing it.
Bishop blocked my path, shoes in hand. “Looking for these?”
“Thank you,” I murmured, snatching them from his hands. “I hate being like this,” I sniffed.
“Your emotions are heightened, it’s a side effect of turning. It’ll even out after a while.”
“Great, so what - twenty, thirty years and I’ll stop acting like a basketcase? Cool beans.” Thanks to my improved balance, I didn’t have to lean on anything to get my shoes on. “I’ll be going now. I’m sorry to have disturbed you,” I managed to get out with as much dignity as possible.
“If I promise to help you will you leave me alone?”
I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly and I’m sure it showed on my stunned face. “I beg your pardon?”
“But this is it, after tonight I’m done, deal?”
Whatever lunacy took hold of him, I intended to ride the swing of the pendulum as far as it’d take me. “No, I get it, you didn’t sign up to have a vampire step-child, I promise, I’ll leave you alone after tonight. Deal.” I held my hand out to him. He looked at it for a moment and then shook it, his fingers wrapping around mine.
“Alright, lesson one…”
I didn’t know if it was going to be a long lecture or a list of tips, and I happened to glance at the clock on the wall. “Oh God, is that the time?” I gasped. I’d slept through all of my classes and hadn’t given it a single thought. There was only one thing that could possibly lure me away from the offer of help by a hot vampire; my music. “I have to get to rehearsal.”
“I thought you wanted my help.”
“I did, I do! But if I don’t show up I’m going to lose my spot on the madrigal. I’ll come back tonight after rehearsal, it’ll only take a couple of hours. That way you can get your work done and then you can help me. It’s a win/win scenario, right?” I gave him what I hoped was a winsome smile, because if he didn’t go for it, I was going to have to miss practice, just when I’d started to catch Professor Matthews’ eye.
“Alright, fine.”
“Oh, thank you so much!” I couldn’t help it, I threw my arms around his neck in an impulsive hug. From the depths of despair to giddy happiness in sixty seconds flat. He wasn’t kidding about heightened emotions. “I’ll see you later, Bishop, thanks!” Letting go of him, I got out of there before he could change his mind, catching sight of his bemused expression seconds before the door slid shut. I couldn’t tell if he was more bewildered by my behavior or his.