Well, there was probably some kind of justice in it. His soft, gentle mate should know what he was capable of.
“I would do it again.” He knew his voice sounded more like a growl than a voice and he couldn’t control that.
“Your brother was dying. He was going slowly insane.”
He laughed, looking up at the sky. How to make her understand? “Thirty years ago while I was asleep in my bed, my father cursed the mated men to kill their spouses. They awoke and started butchering them. As soon as they’d done that, they’d snap out of it, realize what they’d done, and end their life. Some of them didn’t even wait for the ritual suicide. They just found a weapon and did the deed.”
Michael gasped as he stared at Scarlett whose eyes were huge. “Are you seeing this right now as I speak it?”
She blinked. “I am.”
He backed up another two steps. “I won’t continue.” He would not have her live it. The woman had been through too much in her life. By all that was holy, he would spare her the memory of that night.
“You can tell me. You lived it. So can I.”
“No.” He ground his teeth in his mouth. “Let’s just say there was no way my brother would have the same fate. Not while I was living to stop it.”
She walked forward and grabbed his hand. “I know. That’s why I want you to stop beating yourself up about it. I can feel the ache in your soul. Let it go.”
Her touch jolted him out of the rage he felt about that memory. “You…you…you don’t judge me?”
“No. I want you to stop judging yourself. I’m in no position to think anything about any decisions others make. Before you, there was no one who would have really cared if I lived or died. I don’t know what it must be like to have someone willing to kill for my safety.”
“Except you do.”
He sent the phrase telepathically to her and he watched her eyes widen. “You’re right. You killed Zack for me.”
“I would do anything for you.”
She pressed herself closer and he could smell her scent. Closing his eyes, he put his head down on top of hers as he embraced her in a tight hug.
“Mine.”
He wasn’t sure he’d spoken aloud until he heard his own voice in his ears. Up against his chest, he felt her nod. Good, she agreed. For a while, he might need reassurance about it.
Walking to him, he heard his brother, Gabriel, speak. “Sweet.”
Michael opened his eyes to roll them. Letting Scarlett go a little bit so he could look at the brother who was directly younger than him, he resisted the urge to tell him to go away.
They’d been close, probably the closest out of the whole group until recently. Something was wrong with Gabriel. It wasn’t that he’d gone “bad”. Michael was certain that could never happen to his brother, to any of them, after what they’d seen and no one worked harder to uncover traitors than Gabriel Kane.
He was just harder now. Any softness to Gabriel had long since left and most days he wasn’t sure if he spoke to his wolf or the person he’d known for one hundred and ninety years.
“What’s going on, younger brother?”
Gabriel must have gotten off the boat that just arrived.
“I’m leaving.”
“You’re kidding?” When his brother didn’t say no, Michael continued. “We need you. We have forty-five wolves to train. Where is Tristan sending you?”
“He’s not in charge of this particular mission. I have someone to kidnap.”
Michael let go of Scarlett altogether. “What? Are you crazy?”
“It’s not your problem. Let’s put it this way, I’m either going to be a hero or I won’t be at all.”
Michael’s heart pounded hard in his chest. Gabriel was serious, dead serious, Michael could smell it. “Hold on. Okay? I’ll go with you. We’ll grab Rex and the three of us will go.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Sorry. If Rex were here, I would take him but he’s not. He’s off witch-hunting.”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
Smiling, Gabriel took two steps away. “You can’t. You’re mated now. It’s different.”
“You’ll find yours.”
Gabriel raised his hands out in front of him like a shield. “Don’t wish that on me. I don’t need to be pussy-whipped.”
Now that wasn’t okay. “Hey, watch your language.”
“It’s an expression.”
“I’m not Tristan, I’m not falling for that. I know exactly what it means.”
“Anyway, I’m just here to say goodbye and to say I’m glad to see you’re not considering ritual suicide anymore.”
Behind him he heard Scarlett gasp. He whirled around. “Scarlett, I…”
She interrupted, even as she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “You were considering what?”
“Sorry, man.”
Michael turned to look at Gabriel. He hoped his glare said just how angry he was. Why did he have to go and do that?
He spun back to Scarlett. “Let me explain. Ritual suicide is…”
“I know what it is. We actually had that in our pack. It’s an out. When a shifter feels that he can’t wait any longer for his mate, he can opt out. Or if the other half dies, he can use it to follow.”
Okay, so she understood. “I had started to think about it. Not all the time. I’m two hundred and ten years old.”
Her eyes welled with tears and one by one they escaped her amber depths until there was a steady stream of them down her cheeks. Her bottom lip quivered. Gods, he had just made her cry. Suddenly, he wasn’t certain he could breathe.
She spoke on a sob, wrapping her arms around herself as she backed away from him. “You would have left me here? Have I missed something in all the talking you did about mates? Isn’t it our duty to hang on until the universe presents the person to you? No matter how long it takes?”
He moved forward, reaching for her, but she put her hand out to stop him. It was a small gesture even as it pinned his feet to the ground. “I would have been here all alone and never known you. You cared so little about waiting for your mate?”
No! “That’s not true.”
Do something. His wolf paced inside of him.
Michael had no clue what to do about this. He’d worried she would be mad that he’d ordered the witch dead not that he’d considered the ritual.
“I never would have left before the war was over and really, what does it matter? I’m here. I didn’t do it. Fate brought us together.”
“I guess I was just lucky that happened before you got tired of waiting.” She wiped her eyes with her palm as she turned to walk onto the boat. “If you don’t understand, I’m not sure I can explain it to you.”
Keeping her head down, she walked the plank onto the boat that would take them to Westervelt.
Finally able to make his feet work, he followed her. “Scarlett…”
A growl stopped him in his tracks. Turning, he raised an eyebrow at the culprits. Todd, Seamus and Barge had wolf eyes as they glared at him.
“Do you want to explain that growl?”
Todd stepped forward. “You just made Scarlett cry.”
Hell. He had appointed them her protectors, it looked as if they were going to take that duty seriously. Even if, in this case, they decided to protect her from him.
“That’s my mate.”
Barge shrugged. “Seems to me the lady doesn’t want to see you right now.”
Michael thanked the Gods that none of his brothers were around to see this right now. He’d never live it down. Set away from his own mate by the very shifters he’d explained the concept of true pack.
“You imbeciles beat her up not three days ago.”
Now it was Seamus’ turn to talk. “That was before. We would never dream of it now. We apologized and she accepted. What’s your excuse?”
As the boat moved, Michael wanted to throw himself overboard and swim. “This was something I thought about before I even met her.”
/> Todd sat down in one of the deckchairs. “Have you apologized?”
“I was going to when you growled at me.”
Barge shook his head. “I think she needs a few minutes. Give her a break to calm down.”
That didn’t sound like terrible advice. Moving to the deck chair, he sat down watching the mainland disappear into the horizon. “I can’t believe I’m taking love advice from the three of you.”
Truth was, he had no clue what else to do. His mate was hurting and she wasn’t wrong. It had been a selfish thing to have thought. Especially when she’d lived her life thinking she would never have a mate and no one would ever rescue her, but she’d still hung on.
There was no doubt. Scarlett was braver than he was. How long did women usually stay mad about things like this? He wasn’t asking the three shifters near him that was for sure.
Fix this. His wolf ordered.
He wanted to. Bad.
Chapter 12
ONE of Michael’s brothers, she thought it was Theo, showed her into Michael’s room. Michael was broader shouldered than Theo, his face angular, his eyes darker and also warmer.
Theo hadn’t said much before he’d left. Clearly, her hysterical tears had put him off his game a little bit. Even she couldn’t understand why she was this upset.
A world without Michael in it would be a darker, miserable place. In fact, she knew firsthand how low that existence would be. She’d been relatively content to go through life abused all the time. In fact, she’d been relieved not to be dead.
Michael had changed all of that. Not just for her, but for nearly an entire pack of wolves. What if he’d made a different decision and taken the out offered by the ceremony?
She closed her eyes and slumped upon the bed. Michael’s scent enveloped her, making her heart ache with longing for him. Where was he?
She’d heard the three guys stop him on the boat and she’d appreciated it. That wouldn’t have been a good time for her to speak. But now?
The safety of sleep grabbed her attention and pulled her to its waiting arms. Trying to pry open her eyes worked for about three seconds before she gave into the exhaustion that overtook her.
She wasn’t sure how long she slept. When she woke up, it was dark outside and Michael’s arms were wrapped tightly around her, all but pinning her to his chest.
Waiting for a moment to see if he would say something, she realized he was out cold. His deep breaths were steady and sound, a reminder that he was there and he was with her. Listening to him lulled her back down into unconsciousness.
The next time she awoke, Michael was not asleep. His warm lips made their way down her body as his hands skillfully unbuttoned her shirt. The same clothes, she realized distantly, she’d fallen asleep in.
“I really must smell bad. I’ve been in these clothes forever.”
He mumbled something incoherent and kept kissing her.
“Michael?”
“You smell awesome, like you always do, and I swear if I don’t get inside of you soon I might explode.”
She opened her eyes to look at him. His eyes were serious. All of a sudden, the argument came back to her. Her unreasonable response to his thinking about leaving this world.
More rested, she didn’t think she’d react quite so strongly. Not that she was any happier but she wasn’t going to weep.
“I’m sorry I got so upset.”
He kissed her hard on the lips. “I’ve got to get you out of these clothes.”
Clearly, Michael wasn’t fooling around. Sitting up, she helped undoing the buttons and threw the shirt on the floor. It was already disgusting. She was going to have to do some laundry. Next, she pulled off her khaki pants in the same general direction where she’d thrown the shirt.
Michael tugged at her clothes breaking the clasp of her bra. She gasped and looked down. His cheeks turned a decidedly red color. “Sorry, I’ll get you a new one. A whole bunch of new ones. Or you get yourself some. What’s mine is yours, as you know.”
“Let’s face it, I don’t really need a bra.”
“Still, I can’t go around destroying your clothing.”
“Sure you can, I kind of like it that you’re losing it a little bit.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You do?”
“Sure. You don’t have to be in control all the time.”
With a muttered oath, he pushed her flat on her back, kissing her frantically. She could hardly keep up. Michael seemed crazed and, for her part, she was happy to go along for the ride.
He kissed her chest and she gasped. Her skin tingled with excitement. For a person who had once thought sex horrendous, it was amazing how turned on she could get by being kissed and caressed by her mate. Then again, maybe it was supposed to work that way.
She didn’t care. Arching her back off the bed, she felt the rough pads of his skilled hands delve into the curls covering her pussy. “Yes, Michael, stroke me there.”
“You like that, huh?” His eyes sparkled with lust as he gazed down at her.
“I like everything but, gods, I want your hands on me.”
“That’s good because I want to put my hands on you.”
And he did. First one finger and then another as she groaned. Another few seconds and she’d be begging. He played with the sensitive bundle of nerves inside her channel and she sighed, feeling the pressure growing.
“You’re so beautiful, Scarlett. I want to watch you come for me. Then I’m going to make you do it again.” He nuzzled her neck as he spoke. She could feel the hard length of his erection pressed up against her leg.
He wasn’t going to have to wait long to get his wish. All the pent-up emotion of the last few days swirled inside of her, desperate for release and Michael’s talented hands were giving it a chance to explode. Biting down on her lip, Scarlett saw colors form before her eyes before she shouted Michael’s name in a frenzy of pleasure that made her whole body shake.
Michael’s mouth took hers in what she could only describe as an assault on her senses. Gods, she loved him. Loved the way he tasted, loved the way his whiskers rubbed her as he kissed, loved the way he lost himself in the joining of their two mouths.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on, feeling his hard member against the outside of her opening. She knew what would be happening, she craved it.
“I want you.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Take me.”
He seemed to need no other words. He pushed his erection deep inside of her with one hard movement. She gasped from the fullness and closed her eyes.
“Gods, Scarlett, you’re so damn tight. It’s like heaven in here.”
For her part, she couldn’t speak and his words were like caresses on her ears. He was never as uncontrolled as when they made love. It astonished her that she was the one who could make him this way.
She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her against the headboard in his strong movements, his hand preventing her head from striking the board itself.
“More, Michael. Give me everything.”
“I want to, Scarlett. I want you to have my whole life.”
Closing her eyes, she let herself get lost in the feelings his cock created inside of her. Shifting his legs, he changed his direction slightly and now he rubbed her clit in his thrusts.
She cried out as the pressure became too much. If she was going to die, she decided, she wished it could be like this, with Michael inside of her, their bodies forever joined.
“More…more…more,” she begged as her body exploded. She could feel her wetness surround Michael’s length as he screamed her name following her into the oblivion they had created together.
Seconds later, or maybe it was hours, she could no longer sense time, he kissed her nose, her forehead, her neck.
“I’m so sorry, Scarlett. I’m so sorry I even thought about not waiting for you. I felt sorry for myself, lost, alone. I can’t really explain it except the way it is between us now, I need i
t. I was drifting in loneliness, needing you and not knowing you were out there.”
Scarlett opened her eyes to look at him as tears fell on her face. Her heart pounded hard as a lump formed in her throat.
“Michael, are you crying? Don’t.”
He wiped his eyes. “If you tell anyone I did this, I’ll never live it down.” He laughed.
She pulled his head down for another kiss, trying to show him with her mouth all that was impossible to say. He’d never have to worry that she would betray him like that. He was her everything too.
Finally, she spoke. “I overreacted. It was exhaustion. The idea of there being a world without you in it was too much for me.”
“What can I do to fix it?”
She reached up to kiss him. The more she knew of her wolf, the more she understood what this actually was. Michael was an Alpha wolf, he needed to take care of everyone and she being his mate meant he felt doubly so toward her.
“You can’t fix it, Michael. It’s not broken. It’s just over.”
He exhaled loudly. “You forgive me like you forgave your pack members for hurting you?”
“It’s not even in the same league. It’s nothing. Didn’t you ever fight with your brothers?”
He laughed. “Yes, but we’re all stupid little boys. We’d end up pounding on one another and get over it.”
“You and I don’t do that, however, I think we may have done the mated equivalent of it just now.”
“Okay.”
He rolled off her and she felt bereft of his warmth. It wasn’t that it was cold in the room. No, she just preferred being close to Michael. Rolling over, she snuggled into his side as he pressed his nose against her hair.
Suddenly remembering her thoughts before she went to bed, she yawned. “Where did you go last night?”
“We had to swear in the wolves to make them Pack. There were forty-five of them; it took hours.”
“Didn’t I have to do that?” She felt a little put off that she had missed the whole thing.
“No,” he laughed. “I can hear it in your tone you didn’t like not being there. I came back to get you but you were out cold. You’re my mate, which makes you automatic Pack. Technically, it makes you royalty.”