I shook my head. “What happened to her is fucking terrible and I’m glad that bastard’s ass is going to jail. Better yet, he should be fucking castrated, but what happened to her isn’t your fault, sweetheart. You didn’t make him do that to you or her.”
Her eyes filled. “But me not telling anyone allowed him to do it again.”
“No.” I stood. “Don’t fucking tell yourself that. No one knows what would’ve happened if you didn’t drop the charges. You were fourteen, Avery. You did the best you could in the situation. You survived.”
“But that’s it, you know? All I’ve been doing is surviving. I haven’t been living. Look at what I’ve done to us. And yes, I’ve done this! I pushed you away again.”
“But you’re telling me now.”
“I’ve let what happened to me five years ago still affect me! When we almost had sex? I wasn’t afraid of you or if there’d be pain. It wasn’t that. I was afraid that once we started, that what Blaine had done would ruin it for me or that I would ruin it for myself. I am a coward—I was a coward.” She shot to her feet, face flushed with tears. “But it’s too late, isn’t it? I should’ve been honest with you months ago so you knew what you were getting into and I’m so sorry that I wasn’t.”
I reached out for her. “Avery . . .”
“I’m so sorry, Cam. I know telling you now doesn’t change anything, but I needed to tell you that you didn’t do anything wrong. You were perfect—perfect for me—and I love you. And I know you can’t look at me the same now. I understand.”
What? My arms fell to my sides as I stared at her. And then I was in front of her, cupping her cheeks. “What did you say?”
“That you can’t look at me the same?”
“Not that. Before that.”
“I love you?” she whispered.
“You love me?”
“Yes, but—”
“Stop,” I told her. “Do you think I look at you differently? I told you I always suspected that something happened—”
“But you had hope that it wasn’t that!” She tried to pull away, but I wasn’t letting her run away again. No more. “You looked at me before with hope and you don’t have that anymore.”
“Is that what you really think? Has that been what has been stopping you this whole time from telling me?”
She lowered her gaze. “Everyone looks at me differently once they know.”
“I’m not everyone, Avery! Not to you, not with you. Do you think I still don’t have hope? Hope that you will eventually get past this? That it won’t haunt you five more years from now?”
Avery looked too afraid to speak as I guided her hands to my chest, above my heart. “I have hope.” I held her gaze. “I have hope because I love you—I’ve been in love with you, Avery. Probably before I even realized that I was.”
Her eyes widened. “You loved me?”
I pressed my forehead to hers. “I love you.”
“You love me?”
I smiled slightly. “Yes, sweetheart.”
Avery held my gaze for a few moments, and I saw the very second she cracked. When the walls she had built around herself to just get by every day finally crumbled. Tears poured out of her eyes, so many I honestly believed it was possible for someone to drown in them. With everything in the open, she was laid bare, for the first time in years.
Emotion crawled up my throat as I circled my arms around her tightly. She came willingly, clutching my shirt. And she kept sobbing, and I knew I couldn’t stop her. That she had to get this out.
I lifted her into my arms and carried her back into my bedroom. I laid her down on the bed. I crawled in beside her, cradling her against my chest, and she held on to me as she continued to cry, like she was afraid I would leave her.
And leaving her was something that would never happen again.
Twenty-Seven
It was after midnight when my phone vibrated off my nightstand. Half asleep, I rolled over and smacked around until my hand landed on my cell. The soft white glow lit up the one word text from Shortcake.
Incoming.
Things were definitely different in the weeks following the day she had opened up to me.
I grinned as I threw the sheets off me and hurried through the living room and opened the front door. Avery stood there, barefoot and wearing a pair of tiny sleep shorts and a thin shirt. In the still cool night of early May, the shirt left very little to the imagination.
She smiled as I took her hand and pulled her inside, quietly shutting the door behind us.
“What the . . . ?” she whispered, staring at the floor between the coffee table and the couch.
Ollie lay facedown, cheek propped on the pillow I’d shoved under his face before I’d gone to bed. His soft snores would soon turn into chainsaws.
“Don’t ask,” I whispered back.
Giggling quietly, she squeezed my hand. We quickly made our way back to the bedroom and once inside, I spun her into my arms. “What are you doing?” I asked. “You have a nine-A.M. exam tomorrow.”
“I know.” She walked backward, guiding me to the bed. When she sat, I remained on my feet. “But it’s my last exam and I’ve already studied so much I think my brain is broke.”
I laughed. Over the last week, the time we spent together we spent studying for our own exams. “But shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
“I was lonely.” Her lips curved up as she tugged on my hands. “And I missed you. And I miss . . .”
She didn’t have to finish her sentence. I knew what she was thinking, what she wanted. Knowing the truth about what had happened was a blessing, but I wasn’t sure how to . . . well, how to really initiate things. The last thing I wanted to do was push her into something she wasn’t ready for. So I hadn’t pushed at all.
“Miss me?” I quickly changed the subject. “I know. Going even a few hours without my presence can cause heart palpitations, abnormal sweating, the occasional—”
“I think your arrogance is actually a disease.”
I gave her a cocky grin. “I like to think it’s a character strength.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” Sliding her hands free, she rose onto her knees in front of me. My mouth dried as I looked down at her upturned face. “Actually, keep telling yourself that quietly. Right now, try not talking.”
My brows shot up. “Well . . .”
She grinned, but I could see the deepening color spreading across her cheeks as she reached forward, placing her hands on my bare chest, and then she stretched up, sliding her fingers to my cheeks. She guided my head down to hers.
“I’ve missed you, Cam.” The tip of her nose brushed mine. “Haven’t you missed me?”
I closed my eyes as I wrapped my fingers along her slender wrists. “I have.”
“Good,” she murmured.
Her lips grazed mine once and then she kissed me softly. There was nothing like her kisses, especially when our positions were flopped. She pushed, working at the seam of my lips until I opened. The taste of her clouded my thoughts. I didn’t realize she had let go of my face until I felt the tips of her fingers slipping under the band of my nylon shirts.
My grip tightened around her wrists as I lifted my head. “Avery, maybe we—”
“Maybe you should let me do this.” Her chest rose sharply as her gaze dipped. There was no hiding that I wanted her to do this. The corners of her lips spread into a winsome smile. “I think you really want me to do this.”
“I do. God, I do, but—”
She silenced me with a kiss that told me that I needed to let her do whatever she wanted to do. Removing my fingers one at a time, I dropped my hands to the sides.
This was all her.
Avery broke away and then placed a kiss on my chest, above my heart. I tensed as she tugged my shorts down. Loosened, the shorts pooled
on the floor in a second. I stiffened, aching, as she placed her hands on my hips and kissed her way down my abs. When the edges of her hair brushed me, my hands curled into fists. And she kept going, sliding one hand around my front, causing my body to jerk as she wrapped her fingers around me. I pulsed—my entire body pulsed. Then her breath danced over my hardness.
I cupped her cheek, stopping her. “Avery, you don’t have to do this.”
She lifted her head. “But I want to.”
My mouth opened, but the words—whatever the hell they were—died on my tongue as she took me into her mouth. Sensation exploded in several points. I kicked my head back, groaning as her hand moved, steady and strong in rhythm with her mouth.
I didn’t want to last. My back bowed as she worked me. Fuck. I couldn’t last. There was no way. Release powered through me as my hips jerked. I tried to pull her away, but she was latched on. She wasn’t going anywhere. I came, shouting her name.
After what felt like forever, she pulled away. As my chest rose and fell raggedly as I dropped a damn near out-of-breath kiss on her forehead. “Avery . . .”
“You liked?”
I coughed out a laugh. “I loved.”
“I’m a quick learner.”
Damn straight she was. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I guided her onto her back. “Avery?”
She let her hands fall beside her head. “Yeah?”
“Get ready.”
A puzzled look crossed her face. “Get ready for what?”
I captured her mouth, letting my lips and my tongue tell her exactly what to get ready for and it was a hell of a long time before I used those two things for anything other than loving her.
“Cookies! I got cookies!”
“Oh! What kind?” Shortcake’s voice floated from the bedroom.
She’d left the door unlocked for me, something that I was going to have to talk to her about later, but right now I had a warm plate of special delivery. I headed back to the bedroom, finding her lying on her bed, hands folded across her stomach.
“Peanut-butter cookies,” I told her. “But special.”
She grinned as she stretched her bare feet. “How are they special?”
“Well, besides the fact that I just baked them in honor of you finishing your last exam, they’re not just any kind of peanut-butter cookies.” I sat the plate on the nightstand. “But Reese’s peanut-butter cookies.”
Her brows rose. “And that makes them different?”
“Hell’s yeah.” I jumped on the bed, grinning as Shortcake bounced. “What are you doing in here?”
“Being lazy.”
I studied her closer. “You okay?”
“Yes.” When she smiled and it reached her eyes, I relaxed. “Cookie?”
“Cookie . . .” I reached over, eyeing the plate for one that appeared moist. Once I settled on one, I handed it over.
Holding one hand under her chin, she bit and immediately moaned. “Oh my God, these are . . .” She took another bite. “So damn good.”
“I know, right?” I picked up one, popping the whole thing in my mouth.
Shortcake reached for another and I grabbed the plate, holding it away from her. She punched me in the stomach. I gave her a cookie.
After eating our weight in peanut-butter goodness, I stretched out beside her and picked up a strand of her hair, twirling it around my fingers. I smacked the ends across her nose as her eyes drifted shut. “So what does it feel like to finally be a sophomore in college?”
She retrieved her hair from me. “I’m not officially a sophomore. Not until school starts again in the fall.”
“I deem you a sophomore now.” Undeterred, I caught another strand and trailed it across her cheek. “What I say goes.”
“Then how does it feel finally being a senior? Next year is your last.”
“Amazing.” I traced her lower lip. “It feels amazing.”
Shortcake rolled onto her side, wrapping her fingers around the collar of my shirt. “It feels pretty damn good to be a sophomore.”
“Would be better if you didn’t sign up for summer classes.”
“True,” she agreed.
But it would work out. I was doing the summer soccer camp with the kiddos, so I’d be here anyway.
She wiggled closer, resting her head on my shoulder as she threw a leg over me.
“Close enough?” I asked.
“No.”
I laughed as I ran my fingers up and down her spine in a slow, idle line as I turned my head, kissing her forehead. These quiet moments were the best. I’d almost dozed off when she rolled suddenly, straddling my hips.
“Hey,” she said.
I liked where this was heading. I skimmed my hands over her waist. “Hey there.”
“So I’ve been doing some thinking.”
“Oh God.”
“Shut up.” She bent down, kissing me softly. “Actually, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. There’s something I want to do.”
“What?” I slid my hands down over her shorts, resting them on her thighs.
She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “I want to go home.”
Was not expecting that, nor did I like that. “Like back to Texas?”
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
She placed her hands on my stomach and rocked back, pressing down on me. I tensed, eyes narrowing on her. I had a feeling that was totally on purpose.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” she said. “For just a day or two.”
“Damn. There goes my master plan of spending the summer like a sex-crazed bachelor.”
Shortcake rolled her eyes.
“What do you want to do if you go back there?”
“I want to see my parents. I need to talk to them.”
I patted her thighs. “About what happened?”
“I’ve never talked to them about what happened, not since that night.” She matched my movements with her fingers along my chest. “I need to talk to them. I know this sounds like a bitch fest, but I need to tell them that what they did was wrong.”
“It doesn’t sound like a bitch fest, but do you think it’s wise?” I placed my hands over hers. “I mean, do you think it’s going to help you and not . . .”
“Hurt me?” She smiled. “There’s really nothing more my parents can do that will hurt me, but I feel like I need to confront them. Does that make me a bad person?”
“No.” I didn’t like the sound of this. They could still hurt her.
“I need to do this. I also need to talk to Molly.”
Okay. I really didn’t like the sound of this. “What?”
“I need to talk to her and try to explain why I did what I did. I know it’s risky and if it comes back and bites me in the ass with the nondisclosure, then it does, but if I can get her to understand just a little bit, then maybe it will help her and she’ll stop contacting me.”
“I don’t know about that. The girl seems like she’s not the most stable person out there.”
“She’s not crazy,” she said. “She’s just mad and she has a reason to be.”
“And you’re not the reason why it happened to her.” I brought her hands to my lips, kissing the knuckles. “You know that, right? You’re not responsible.”
She was quiet for a few moments. “I need to do this for myself and for Molly. I don’t want to run anymore, Cam. And I know I can never really put this behind me. What happened . . . well, it will always be a part of me, but it won’t be me. Not anymore.”
This wasn’t what I wanted her to do and I didn’t think she truly needed to. What she didn’t realize was that she’d already begun to make peace with everything, but I wouldn’t stop her. “You know what I think?”
“I’m awesome?” Her grin was
cheeky.
“Besides that.”
“What?”
“I think you’ve already made it that far, Avery. I think you have accepted it will be part of you, but it’s not you. You just haven’t realized that, but if you want to do this, then you’ll do this and I’ll be there with you.”
“You want to go with—”
She squealed as I shifted, rolling her onto her back. I hovered over her. “You’re not doing this by yourself. Hell to the motherfucking no. I’m going with you. And you’re not talking me out of it. When do you want to do this?”
Staring at me for a long moment, she smiled. “Got any plans this weekend?”
“Jesus.”
Shortcake placed the tips of her fingers against my cheek. “I need to do this.”
I dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I don’t think you do, sweetheart, but if you think you do, then that’s what matters.”
“You really want to come with me?” she whispered.
“That’s a stupid question, Avery. And yes, there is such a thing as stupid questions. That was one of them. Of course I’m going to be there with you.”
Her lips spread into a wide, beautiful smile. “I love you.”
“I know.”
“Cocky.”
“Confident.” I kissed her softly. “I love you, sweetheart.”
She started to wrap her arms around me, but I moved away, climbing over the side of the bed. “Hey!” She frowned. “Get back here.”
“Nope. We got stuff to do.” I took her hands, hauling her off the bed. “And if you start feeling me up, we aren’t going to get anything done.”
The look on her face was bemused. “What are we doing?”
I bent, picking her up over my shoulder, and then pivoted toward the door. “We got some tickets to book.”
Twenty-Eight
Texas was ungodly hot. Like the circles of hell kind of hot. Even in the shaded interior of the rental car with cool air blasting from the vents, the heat seeped in from every tiny crack.