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My hands grew still on his shoulder for I knew in my heart what happened next.
“It was the eve of winter and the days were quite short and dreary. She refused to go outside, I thought out of fear of the villagers. She never spoke and would only sip the weakest of meat broths. I was worried when she did not grow stronger, only weaker. I wrote letters to arrange her transfer to a nearby convent for I felt it unwise for me to keep her with me. Despite my vows, you see, I was taken with her beauty. Her eyes were so green, so vivid, and her lips so very, very red. She was afraid of me and would not let me near her even to read to her from the Bible. So, I would sit near the fire, trying not to look at her where she lay curled on her cot. ”
The room felt thick and heavy with emotion. I lifted my face to look away from his stricken form. I wiped away my tears and covered my eyes with one hand.
“One night, as I washed up before the fire, I looked up to see her kneeling near me. She was staring quite intently at me and for the first time she spoke to me. 'May I have a kiss,' she asked. I was quite startled at this request. I was half-naked with my robe and crucifix lying on the table nearby. Again, she said in her soft, beautiful voice, “May I have a kiss. '” Ignatius slowly slid from my grasp to sit upon the floor, his back to me. He rested his head against his palm as he continued in a very low voice. “Thus I was tempted for the first time by the beauty of a woman. In that moment, I forgot God and only felt the heat she caused within me. I loved her. I leaned toward her and said to her, 'Yes, a kiss, but just one. ' She kissed me and I was lost to her. Then I felt her sharp teeth in my throat and I fell back, holding her to me, terrified yet driven by my lust for her. She drank fully and deeply until my heart nearly faded. Then she said to me, 'Drink of me and know life eternal. ' And I drank. ”
I reached toward him, but hesitated. He was rubbing his mouth with his fingers as the memory tormented him.
“When I awoke I could no longer touch my crucifix. I could no longer enter my church. I no longer felt God’s loving presence. I was separated and apart from all that I had held dear. She sat beside me, renewed and even more beautiful. I was mad with anger and lust and thought to myself if I was to lose my soul to sin at least I had the pleasure of her. ” His voice rasped with his anger. He turned abruptly toward me and I saw the fierceness in his eyes. “Then she asked me to help her return to her husband. ”
I closed my eyes and covered my face. “Oh, Ignatius. ”
“I serve her to this day. She and her husband. I love them both dearly. But when I heard her words I knew I had damned myself foolishly. I swore I would do penance until God once more let me feel His sweet presence and returned me to His service. I swore, Glynis, swore I would endure this hell as my own personal quest for salvation. ”
Suddenly, he was over me, grasping my wrists and dragging me to my feet. “Then I saw you, and I loved you as I have never loved before. I lusted the one who made me. But you, dear God, I love you. You cut me to the quick of my being with your gaze. I feel such joy to be with you that I am lost once more. My penance is forgotten as I reveal in this sin that is my love for you, and I feel no shame!” He shook me hard, his long fangs flashing against his red lips. “I will not lose you to Astir’s damned prophecies!”
I wept with my sorrow, but I knew Astir’s words to be true. I did not understand in what context the Fallen’s prediction would come true, but I knew it would. I would destroy the one that loved me.
“Glynis, I love you,” Ignatius said passionately.
“And I love you!”
He released my wrists and turned away. I took hold of his shoulders and pressed myself against his back.
“Then why do I feel you are lost to me,” he whispered.
“My heart will never be lost to you. I could not take it back if I desired. I love you and nothing Astir says will change that, but I fear that I have caused you far more pain than you realize. ”
“I will not release you,” Ignatius said firmly. He turned and took hold of my shoulders. “I will not! Astir be damned, I will not lose the one thing in this dark life that makes me feel joy. ”
I am a creature of strong will, but I could not withstand the onslaught of his emotion. My knees buckled as I collapsed against him. He swung me about and pinned me to the wall. Kissing me deeply, his hands slid beneath my robe. I instantly responded to his touch.
In our times together, we have always been passionate and fierce lovers, but this last time was desperate and hungry beyond anything I have ever experienced. As before, I knew I loved him and felt his love for me burning in his touch, but there was much more to this almost violent coupling. In retrospect, as I write this, I realize now we both feared it would be the last time we would be together.
When we stood gasping, shuddering, and kissing in the aftermath, I thought I would die if I could never touch him again. The feel of him deep inside of me was an act I did not want to share with any other. It felt right and beautiful, and I did not want this most intimate act to end. Kissing his lips, I whispered to him that I loved him.
“I will fight for you. I will fight Astir’s prediction and anyone who would dare to try separate us,” Ignatius said to me fiercely.
“Even Vlad,” I asked.
“I will kill him for you,” he said at last.
“You cannot. You said so yourself. ”
“I am strong enough,” he answered me, kissing my neck lovingly.
“But there is a reason you are not telling me as to why you cannot, should not, kill him,” I said to him.
“Yes. ” He buried his face in my neck and whispered. “Yes. Because my Mistress, who also created him, has forbidden it. ”
“I thought Erzsébet created him,” I said with a gasp.
“No, Erzsébet is also a creation of my Mistress. She brought Vlad to us and it was my Mistress who created him. It is her power, you see, that keeps him subdued within his own country. That is why he seeks to go to England. To escape her influence and her strength. ”
“Then he is as trapped as I?”
Ignatius pressed his lips to my cheek, and said against my skin, “We are all trapped by intrigues beyond our control. ”
My fingers played against his skin as I looked deeply into his dark blue eyes. All I saw there was a mirror my own love and need. I realized then that we could never part willingly from one another.
I felt the cold tendril of Vlad’s power trace down my back and I gasped.
“What is it?”
“Vlad,” I whispered.
Ignatius snarled and drew back from me reluctantly. “Now is too soon to confront him. ”
“We shall speak of this later,” I said firmly.
“Glynis, I will not lose you even though deep within myself I feel you are already lost,” Ignatius said in a voice vibrant with emotion.
I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. “I love you and that is all that matters in this moment. ”
Grabbing me about the waist, he kissed me once more then suddenly was gone from my grasp.
In an almost eerie imitation of Astir’s haven, Magda rushed into the room with buckets of hot scented water.
“Hurry, my mistress, hurry,” she said in a frightened voice.
“You feel his approach,” I asked.
“All who have tasted his blood can,” she answered.
Helping me into the bath, she noted the bruises and scratches on my flesh where Ignatius had gripped me. “You must heal. ”
“I need blood,” I answered.
“Then drink,” she said, offering me her wrist.
Oh, dearest Magda, I did not realize until that moment what a great ally she was to me. But I did drink and I did heal. She scrubbed my skin nearly raw and tried to make sure all signs of Ignatius were erased from my room.
By the time Vlad appeared in my doorway, flushed and fierce, I sat calmly at m
y desk finishing my letter to my brother.
“Come here,” Vlad ordered in a dark voice.
I rose slowly and approached him, my fresh clean red dressing gown sweeping the floor behind me. He reached out and gripped my throat tightly in one hand. His nails bit into my tender flesh as I whimpered.
In one swift, violent motion, he dragged me against him and kissed me roughly. I merely allowed him to kiss me and did not respond to his passion. His fingers painfully took hold of my hair as he dragged back my head and bit into my throat. He drank two great draughts, then violently released me, letting me fall to the ground.
“I taste only you,” he said at last.
“What else would you taste?” I demanded angrily.
“I dreamed you were with…” He hesitated, and I knew he had almost spoken a name. , “…another. ”
“I drink from men and woman all the time. Why would you fret now?”
Vlad laughed: a dark sinister sound. “I dreamt you were with another vampire. ”
I scoffed at this. “You have never introduced me to any vampires other than my sisters. ”
He loomed over me, great and dark, terrifying and powerful. “I will not share you with any other. Do you understand? No mortal, no vampire. No one. ”
I lay on the floor where he had dropped me, gazing up at him. “Yes, I understand. ”
Like a great bird, he swooped down on me, his cape flowing out around us, darkening the room for a moment. His green eyes were vivid and full of anger. “I dreamed that you betrayed me. I will not allow that. I cannot. You are my wife. ”
“The first among your Brides,” I corrected.
“No. My only Bride. I denounce the others. Let them rot in their hunger. You alone are my wife from this night on and I will not share you with any other,” Vlad said firmly.
“You do not love me and do not pretend to. You are only tired of my sisters and will soon find yourself more brides such as the Baroness. ”
Vlad laughed at this. “And you will still be my first. ”
“I am your pawn. I know this. I consider myself nothing more than that. ”
“Then you are wrong,” Vlad said with a chuckle.
I shrugged, attempting to not seem as terrified as I felt.
With the swiftness of a cobra, he once more held my throat captive in his cold hand. “You are mine. Do not forget this. ”
Then he was gone from my room with the swirl of his cape and a dark laugh.
Now, he sleeps in our secret room. I will soon join him for the sun is above the horizon and despite the safety of our darkened home, I can feel the suns power pressing down on me to slumber.
What does this all mean? I do not know.
There is a great sorrow in my heart as I fear I shall never be with my beloved Ignatius again. Considering the dark prophecy of the Fallen, perhaps this is for the best. I could not bear to be the instrument of Ignatius’ end.
Now Vlad is suspicious of me and I fear he will thwart me if I attempt to see Ignatius.
Of course, to complicate matters even more, Ignatius and Vlad are of the same blood! This is all madness! Madness! And I, of course, have somehow found my way to the center of the storm.
Chapter 32
The Journal of Lady Glynis Wright
25th of April, 1820
Buda, Hungary
Perhaps it is part of my new nature to have terrible dreams. I have had nightmares since the night I was created by Vlad’s blood. But the last few nights since Vlad’s return the dreams have been vicious and terrifying.
To my dismay, I am dreaming of the sisters.
Tonight I awakened screaming. Vlad sat beside me, his arms resting on his knees. His face was drawn and his green eyes glimmered with dark fires. Instinctively, I knew that he, too, had dreamed of the three women he has abandoned to starvation.
The dream had been terrible. In it I had been ravenously hungry and clawing at the door to the castle attempting to escape. My hands were shriveled and gray, my nails long and clawed. In my greatly weakened state, I was unable to even splinter the heavy wood.