Even now I cannot be sure if I experienced a hint of what Heaven might be. It seemed a kind of clarity, a kind of understanding. Can Hell and Heaven be merely the difference between ignorance and knowledge?
I turned my back on Heaven.
I turned my back on Heaven and walked with the lady to her cottage. The children had disappeared and only the cow and the horse were there, placid.
I sat at the table and she poured me milk from her pitcher.
“Where is this?” I asked her. “Where does Heaven lie?”
“That must be obvious to you by now.” She went to the wooden dresser behind her and she opened a drawer. From the drawer she took a small clay pot and she placed it on the table before me.
“Here. Take this back to your Master. Tell Him you have found the Grail. And tell Him that it was fashioned by the hands of an ordinary woman.”
“This?” I could not touch it. “This is the Holy Grail?”
“This is a production of that which you believe inhabits the Grail,” she said. “And it is holy, I think. And it was made by me. And all it brings is Harmony. It makes those who are in its presence whole. Yet, ironically, it can be handled only by one who is already whole.”
“I, whose soul is in Lucifer’s charge, can be called whole, lady?”
“You are a man,” she said. “A mortal. And you are not innocent. Neither are you destroyed. Yes, von Bek, you are whole enough.”
I reached fingers towards the little clay pot. “My Master will not believe in this.”
She shrugged. “Your Master is a fool,” she said. “Your Master is a fool.”
“Well,” I said, “I will take it to Him. And I will tell Him what you have told me. That I bring the Cure for the World’s Pain.”
“You bring Him Harmony,” she said. “That is the Cure. And the Cure is within every one of us.”
“Has this cup no other power, lady?”
“The Power of Harmony is power enough,” said she quietly.
“But difficult to demonstrate,” said I in some amusement.
She smiled. Then she shrugged and would say no more on the subject.
“Well,” I told her, “I thank you for your hospitality, lady. And for this gift of the Holy Grail. Must I believe in it?”
“Believe what you like. The cup is what the cup is,” she said. “And it is yours to take.”
I picked up the cup at last. It was warm in my hand. I felt a little of what I had experienced as she and I looked into the abyss beyond her house. “I thank you for your gift,” I said.
“It is no gift,” she told me. “It is truly earned, Ulrich von Bek. Be sure of that.”
“I have a scroll,” I said, “which I must open if I am to return to my Master.”
“You cannot open it here,” she said. “And even if you did open it, you could not return to Hell from here, nor any part which Hell commands. It is the rule.”
“Ah, but madam, I have come so far! Am I to be cheated now?”
“You are not cheated,” she said kindly, “but it is the rule. Use your scroll once you are out of the forest again. It will serve you then.”
“Klosterheim and Duke Arioch’s horde await me there.”
“That is true,” she said. “I know.”
“So I am to be doomed just as it seems I achieve my goal?”
“If you think so.”
“You must tell me!” I was close to weeping. “Oh, madam, you must tell me!”
“Take the Grail,” she said. “And take your scroll. They will both serve you well. Show Klosterheim the Grail and remember that he has seen it before.”
“He will mock me.”
“Of course Klosterheim will mock you if he has any chance at all. Of course he will, Ulrich von Bek. He is all armour, that Klosterheim.”
“And then he will kill me,” I said.
“Then you must have courage.”
She rose from the table and I knew she meant me to leave.
One of the little boys was holding my horse for me as I went out into the yard. Another sat on the pump, watching me. The third was unconcerned. He was studying the chickens.
I sat down upon my horse and set my feet in my stirrups. I felt the clay pot in my purse, together with Lucifer’s scroll.
“There will be no legend told of you,” said the grey-haired woman, “yet you are my favourite amongst all those who have come to me.”
“Mother,” I said, “will you tell me your name?”
“Oh,” she said, “I am just an ordinary woman who made a clay pot and who dwells in a cottage in the Forest at the Edge of Heaven.”
“But a name?”
“Call me what you will,” she said. She smiled and her smile was warm. She put a hand upon mine. “Call me Lilith, for some do.”
Then she had struck my horse upon his flank and I was riding east again. Back to where Klosterheim and all his horrid army awaited me.
Chapter XVII
I KNEW THAT it was a foolish hope, yet I deliberately went to where I had left Sedenko’s body. I recalled a legend concerning one of the properties of the Grail, that it could bring the dead back to life. I held out the little clay pot over the corpse of my poor damned friend, but his eyes did not flicker and his wounds did not magically heal, though his face seemed more at peace than when I had covered him with flowers and leaves.
This dream, I thought, has no meaning. This clay pot is nothing more than a clay pot. I have learned nothing and I have gained nothing. Yet I rode on, out of the blue-green Forest at the Edge of Heaven, and I stood alone against all the ranks of rebellious Hell, reaching for my parchment even as Klosterheim rode out from the infinite black cloud and came slowly towards me.
“I give you the opportunity to join in this adventure,” he said. He was frowning. He pursed his lips. “You and I have great courage, von Bek, and together we could storm Heaven and take it. Think what would be ours!”
“You are mad, Johannes Klosterheim,” I said. “Philander Groot has already told you that. He was right. How can Heaven’s gifts be taken by storm?”
“The way I take Hell’s, fool!”
“I have found the Grail,” I said, “and would ask you to let me pass, for I am on my way to my Master. I have been successful in my Quest.”
“You have been deceived. You are not the first to be so deceived.”
“I know that you have looked upon the Grail and have rejected it,” I said, “but I have not rejected it, Klosterheim. Do not ask me why, for I could not tell you, though I am sure you have many reasons as to why you would not accept it.”
“I would not accept it,” he said, “because it was a trick. There were no miracles. Either God deceived us or He had no power. It was then that I decided to serve Lucifer. And now I serve myself against even Lucifer.”
“You serve nothing,” I said, “save the Cause of Dissension.”
“My Cause has far more meaning! Von Bek, I offer you all that you desire.”
“You offer me more than ever Lucifer offered,” I said. “Do you believe that His power is already yours?”
“It shall be!”
He signaled and the black weight of Hell came moving in on me. I smelled the stink. I heard the gibbering and the other noises. I saw the hideous, malformed faces. Rank upon rank upon rank of them. “This is what rules now,” said Klosterheim. “Death and terror are the means by which all power is maintained. I make my justice for myself. A just world is a world in which Johannes Klosterheim has everything he desires!”
I took the little clay pot from my purse. “Is this what you rejected?”
The ground began to tremble again. It seemed the whole Earth swayed. From the ranks of Hell came a monstrous ululation.
Klosterheim looked hard at it. “Aye. It’s the same. And you’ve been deceived by the same trick, von Bek, as I told you.”
“Then look upon it,” I said. “Let all your forces look upon it. Look upon it!”
I hardly know why I
spoke thus. I held the Grail up high. No shining came out of it. No music came out of it. No great event took place. It remained what it was: a small clay pot.
Yet, here and there in the ranks of Hell, pairs of eyes became transfixed. They looked. And a certain sort of peace came upon the faces of those who looked.
“It is a Cure,” I cried, following my instincts, “a Cure for your Pain. It is a Cure for your Despair. It is a Cure.”
The poor damned wretches who had known nothing but fear throughout their existence, who had faced no future but one of terror or oblivion, began to crane to see the clay pot. Weapons were lowered. The gruntings and the gigglings ceased.
Klosterheim was stunned. He made no protest as I moved towards his army.
“It is a Cure,” I said again. “Look upon it. Look upon it.”
They were falling to their knees. They were dismounting from their beasts. Even the most grotesque of them was transfixed by that clay pot. And still no special radiance came out of it. Still no miracle occurred, save the miracle of their salvation.
And thus it was, with Klosterheim coming beside me, that I rode through the ranks of Hell and was unharmed. Klosterheim was the only one who was not affected by the Grail. His face writhed with a terrible torment. He was fascinated by what happened, but did not wish to believe it. He coughed. He began to groan. “No,” he said.
We passed together through his entire army. And that army lay upon the ground. It lay upon the ground and it seemed to be sleeping, though it might also have been dead; I did not know.
And Klosterheim and I were now the only two who were conscious, just then.
Klosterheim was shaking. He moved his head from side to side and he bit at his lip and he glared at me and the little clay pot. And he could not speak. And he had tears in his tormented eyes.
“No,” said Klosterheim.
“It is true,” I told him. “You might have had the Grail. But you rejected it. You rejected your own salvation as well as the salvation of your fellow men. You might have had this Grail, Johannes Klosterheim.”
And he put fingers to his wretched lips. And now tears ran down his gaunt, pale cheeks. And he said again: “No.”
He said: “No.”
“It is true, Klosterheim. Yes, it is true.”
“It cannot be.” This last was a terrified shout. He stretched gloved hands towards the Grail, as if he still believed he might be saved.
Then he fell forward from his horse. His soul had been taken out of him. Duke Arioch had claimed him.
I dismounted. Klosterheim was quite dead.
Duke Arioch’s forces either continued to sleep on or were beginning to rise and disperse. Those who had awakened wandered off, perfectly at peace with themselves. Not only was the Forest at the Edge of Heaven no longer threatened, but Lucifer would be victorious in Hell.
I wondered at the significance of my Quest and of the cup itself. Somehow it had served both God and the Devil. And then I remembered the woman’s words. She had spoken of Harmony.
From out of my purse I took the scroll and opened it. I read the words that had been written there, and even as I read them I found myself in the library of the castle where I had last seen my Master, Lucifer.
The library was empty, save for its books and its furniture. Morning light came in through the great windows. Outside, the trees were moving in a breeze. Birds perched in them. Birds sang in them.
I realized that this place was no longer within the domain of Hell.
Chapter XVIII
I WONDERED NOW if Lucifer had been defeated and if, in His defeat, He had taken Sabrina’s soul with Him and would continue to claim mine.
For some time I stood by the window, looking out on that ordinary and comforting beauty. I placed the little clay pot upon the table at which Lucifer had been sitting. Then I left the library and I went into the cool hall and climbed the staircase to Sabrina’s room. I did not expect her to be there.
I opened the door.
She was lying in her bed. Her expression was so full of peace that momentarily I believed her to be dead. Her face was as lovely as ever and her wonderful hair flooded the pillows. She was breathing softly as I stooped to kiss her brow. Her eyes opened. She looked at me without surprise. She smiled and she opened her arms to me. I bent to embrace her.
“You have brought the Grail with you,” she said.
“You know?” I sat beside her. I stroked her shoulder.
“Of course I know.” She kissed me. “We are free.”
“I thought I had lost everything,” I said. “Everyone.”
“No,” she said. “You have gained much and you have gained it for all. Lucifer is grateful. You achieved your goal and in so doing you defeated His worst enemy.”
“And He is no longer our Master.”
“No longer.” She looked at me with intelligent eyes. “He has gone back to Hell. He claims no part of Earth for His Realm.”
“We shall never see Him again?”
“We shall see Him. In the library. At noon.” She rose from the sheets and sought her gown. I handed it to her. It was white, like a wedding dress.
“And God?” I asked. “Does He still parley with God?”
“I do not know.” She glanced out the window. “It is almost noon. Lucifer asked us to come together.”
We embraced again, more passionately now. Then we left the room and walked down the staircase to the library.
Once more, as she had done a year before, Sabrina opened the huge doors of the library. And once more Lucifer sat at the table. But He was not reading. He was holding the clay cup in His hands. He turned beautiful eyes upon us. Some of the terror, I thought, had gone out of Him, some of the defiance.
“Good morrow to thee. Captain von Bek,” He said.
“Good morrow, Prince Lucifer.” I bowed.
“You would wish to know,” He said, “that your friends do not reside in Hell. I have released their souls as I have released yours.”
“Then Hell still exists,” I said.
He laughed His old, melodious laugh. “Indeed it does. The antidote for the World’s Pain cannot abolish Hell, any more than it can bring immediate surcease to all that ails Man.”
He replaced the cup gently upon the table and He got to His feet. His naked skin glowed like silver fire and His fiery copper eyes still contained that element of melancholy I had seen before. “I had sought to have no more to do with your Earth,” He told us. Gracefully He moved towards us and looked down on us. There seemed to be love in His eyes, too, or at least a kind of affection. I still did not know if He lied. I still do not know. He reached out His marvelous hands and touched us. I shivered, sensing that strange ecstasy which, to many, could be a compelling drug. I gasped. He withdrew his hands. “I have spoken with God,” said Lucifer.
“And He has refused you, Your Majesty?” Sabrina spoke softly.
His sweet, vibrant voice was almost as low as hers when He replied. “I do not think it is a refusal. But I hoped for more.” The Prince of Darkness sighed and then He smiled. It was a bitter and it was a very sad smile.
“I am not accepted into Heaven,” Lucifer continued. “Instead, Heaven has put the world into my sole charge. I am commissioned to redeem it, in the fullness of time. If I help mankind to accept its own humanity, then I, Lucifer, shall be all that I was before I was cast down from Heaven.”
“Then you are now the Lord of this Earth, Your Majesty?” I said. “God no longer rules here?”
“I do not rule, as such. I am charged to bring Reason and Humanity into the world and thus discover a Cure for the World’s Pain. I am charged to understand the nature of this cup. When I understand its nature and when all mankind understands its nature, we shall both be redeemed!”
Lucifer raised His head and He laughed. The sound was musical and full of irony as well as humour.
“How things turn, von Bek! How things turn!”
“So you are still our Master,” said Sabr
ina. She was frowning. She had come to be afraid again.
“Not so!” Lucifer turned, almost in rage. “You are your own masters. Your destiny is yours. Your lives are your own. Do you not see that this means an end to the miraculous? You are at the beginning of a new age for Man, an age of investigation and analysis.”
“The Age of Lucifer,” I said, echoing some of His own irony.
He saw the joke in it. He smiled.
“Man, whether he be Christian or pagan, must learn to rule himself, to understand himself, to take responsibility for himself. There can be no Armageddon now. If Man is destroyed, he shall have destroyed himself.”
“So we are to live without aid,” said Sabrina. Her face was clearing.
“And without hindrance,” said Lucifer. “It will be your fellows, your children and their children who will find the Cure for the World’s Pain.”
“Or perish in the attempt,” said I.
“It is a fair risk,” said Lucifer. “And you must remember, von Bek, that it is in my interest that you succeed. I have wisdom and knowledge at your disposal. I always had that gift for Man. And now that I may give it freely I choose not to do so. Each fragment of wisdom shall be earned. And it shall be hard-earned, captain.”
This time Lucifer bowed to us. His glowing body seemed to flare with brighter fire and the library was suddenly empty.
He had taken the clay cup with Him.
I reached out for Sabrina’s hand.
“Are you still afraid?” I asked her.
“No,” she said, “I am thankful. The world has been threatened too long by the extraordinary, the supernatural and the monstrous. I shall be happy enough to smell the pines and hear the song of the thrush. And to be with you. Captain von Bek.”