Chapter Five
I had now been walking for fifty days, and all my food and water was gone. If not for my ability to subsist on ridiculously small portions, I could never have made it this far. Thankfully, even on the tiny portions I allowed myself as my supplies dwindled, there had been no decrease in my body’s strength or stamina.
Once again I questioned how I was able to do these things, to go without sleep, food and water, and not suffer? Even if it wasn’t important to them, why had my parents never told me I could do this? They were so wise and they knew so much, yet they told me so little. It made me angry every time I thought about it.
In truth, I knew it was not honest to say they had told me nothing. My parents had actually taught me about many different things. I truly believed the knowledge they had given me would help keep me alive as I started my new life.
From childhood they had instructed me on how to grow crops, how to raise animals, how to weave cloth, what herbs to use in food and as medicine, and how to make things with tools. These were all invaluable skills which would be critical in my future, but these were just learned behaviors. Skills such as these were important, but what I desired was knowledge.
Who was my family? How did we come to be the people of God? Who was the Deceiver? These were the questions I wanted answered, but these questions could never be answered without my parents.
I did not realize how little I knew about our family until I left home. Why had my parents not told me more about the world, about our past, and about our abilities? What other abilities did I have that I had not yet discovered?
This thought gave me chills. I suddenly realized that I had no idea what was normal and what would be thought of as exceptional in the world of men.
I believed that my abilities would set me apart and give me the means to become a powerful man, but perhaps I was not special. Perhaps my knowledge and abilities were nothing out of the ordinary. This concerned me somewhat because I could not accept being ordinary, but I was not overly worried. Even with the circumstances behind my departure, even though I was forced to leave my parents and all I had ever known to journey to an unknown land, I believed my future held great promise.
Even with my life in a shambles, I had set out across this wasteland with high hopes. Hope that my future would be better than my past. Hope that I would be treated more fairly, and would be able to achieve the greatness I believed was my destiny. I still hadn't defined what I wanted to achieve beyond a vague notion of greatness, but one thought gnawed at my heart. I refused to be common in this new land! Although I didn’t know what lay before me, I resolved to fight relentlessly to satisfy the need for power that was within me.