LETTER XVI
TO JAMES HARLOWE, JUN. ESQ.
SIR,
There was but one time, but one occasion, after the rash step I wasprecipitated upon, that I would hope to be excused looking up to youin the character of a brother and friend. And NOW is that time, andTHIS the occasion. NOW, at reading this, will you pity your late unhappysister! NOW will you forgive her faults, both supposed and real! AndNOW will you afford to her memory that kind concern which you refused toher before!
I write, my Brother, in the first place, to beg your pardon for theoffence my unhappy step gave to you, and to the rest of a family so dearto me.
Virgin purity should not so behave as to be suspected, yet, when you cometo know all my story, you will find farther room for pity, if not morethan pity, for your late unhappy sister!
O that passion had not been deaf! That misconception would have givenway to inquiry! That your rigorous heart, if it could not itself besoftened (moderating the power you had obtained over every one) hadpermitted other hearts more indulgently to expand!
But I write not to give pain. I had rather you should think me faultystill, than take to yourself the consequence that will follow fromacquitting me.
Abandoning therefore a subject which I had not intended to touch upon,(for I hope, at the writing of this, I am above the spirit ofrecrimination,) let me tell you, Sir, that my next motive for writing toyou in this last and most solemn manner is, to beg of you to forego anyactive resentments (which may endanger a life so precious to all yourfriends) against the man to whose elaborate baseness I owe my worldlyruin.
For, ought an innocent man to run an equal risque with a guilty one?--A more than equal risque, as the guilty one has been long inured to actsof violence, and is skilled in the arts of offence?
You would not arrogate to yourself God's province, who has said,Vengeance is mine, and I will repay it. If you would, I tremble for theconsequence: For will it not be suitable to the divine justice to punishthe presumptuous innocent (as you would be in this case) in the veryerror, and that by the hand of the self-defending guilty--reserving himfor a future day of vengeance for his accumulated crimes?
Leave then the poor wretch to the divine justice. Let your sister'sfault die with her. At least, let it not be revived in blood. Life is ashort stage where longest. A little time hence, the now-green head willbe grey, if it lives this little time: and if Heaven will afford him timefor repentance, why should not you?
Then think, my Brother, what will be the consequence to your dearparents, if the guilty wretch, who has occasioned to them the loss of adaughter, should likewise deprive them of their best hope, and only son,more worth in the family account than several daughters?
Would you add, my Brother, to those distresses which you hold your sisterso inexcusable for having (although from involuntary and undersignedcauses) given?
Seek not then, I beseech you, to extend the evil consequences of yoursister's error. His conscience, when it shall please God to touch it,will be sharper than your sword.
I have still another motive for writing to you in this solemn manner: itis, to entreat you to watch over your passions. The principal fault Iknew you to be guilty of is, the violence of your temper when you thinkyourself in the right; which you would oftener be, but for that veryviolence.
You have several times brought your life into danger by it.
Is not the man guilty of a high degree of injustice, who is more aptto give contradiction, than able to bear it? How often, with you, hasimpetuosity brought on abasement? A consequence too natural.
Let me then caution you, dear Sir, against a warmth of temper, animpetuosity when moved, and you so ready to be moved, that may hurry youinto unforeseen difficulties; and which it is in some measure a sin notto endeavour to restrain. God enable you to do it for the sake of yourown peace and safety, as well present as future! and for the sake of yourfamily and friends, who all see your fault, but are tender of speaking toyou of it!
As for me, my Brother, my punishment has been seasonable. God gave megrace to make a right use of my sufferings. I early repented. I neverloved the man half so much as I hated his actions, when I saw what he wascapable of. I gave up my whole heart to a better hope. God blessed mypenitence and my reliance upon him. And now I presume to say, I AMHAPPY.
May Heave preserve you in safety, health, and honour, and long continueyour life for a comfort and stay to your honoured parents! And may you,in that change of your single state, meet with a wife as agreeable toevery one else as to yourself, and be happy in a hopeful race, and nothave one Clarissa among them, to embitter your comforts when she shouldgive you most comfort! But may my example be of use to warn the dearcreatures whom once I hoped to live to see and to cherish, of the evilswith which the deceitful world abounds! are the prayers of
Your affectionate sister,CL. HARLOWE.