LETTER LIII
MR. BELFORD, TO LORD M.WEDN. NIGHT, OCT. 4.
MY LORD,
I am just returned from attending Mr. Lovelace as far as Gad's-Hill, nearRochester. He was exceeding gay all the way. Mowbray and Tourville aregone on with him. They will see him embark, and under sail; and promiseto follow him in a month or two; for they say, there is no living withouthim, now he is once more himself.
He and I parted with great and even solemn tokens of affection; but yetnot without gay intermixtures, as I will acquaint your Lordship.
Taking me aside, and clasping his arms about me, 'Adieu, dear Belford!'said he: 'may you proceed in the course you have entered upon!--Whateverairs I give myself, this charming creature has fast hold of me here--[clapping his hand upon his heart]: and I must either appear what you seeme, or be what I so lately was--O the divine creature!' lifting up hiseyes----
'But if I live to come to England, and you remain fixed in your presentway, and can give me encouragement, I hope rather to follow your example,than to ridicule you for it. This will [for I had given him a copy ofit] I will make the companion of my solitary hours. You have told me apart of its melancholy contents; and that, and her posthumous letter,shall be my study; and they will prepare me for being your disciple, ifyou hold on.
'You, Jack, may marry,' continued he; 'and I have a wife in my eye foryou.--Only thou'rt such an awkward mortal:' [he saw me affected, andthought to make me smile:] 'but we don't make ourselves, except it beworse by our dress. Thou art in mourning now, as well as I: but if everthy ridiculous turn lead thee again to be beau-brocade, I will bedizenthee, as the girls say, on my return, to my own fancy, and according tothy own natural appearance----Thou shalt doctor my soul, and I willdoctor thy body: thou shalt see what a clever fellow I will make of thee.
'As for me, I never will, I never can, marry--that I will not take a fewliberties, and that I will not try to start some of my former game, Iwon't promise--habits are not so easily shaken off--but they shall be byway of wearing. So return and reform shall go together.
'And now, thou sorrowful monkey, what aileth thee?' I do love him, myLord.
'Adieu!--And once more adieu!'--embracing me. 'And when thou thinkestthou hast made thyself an interest out yonder (looking up) then put ina word for thy Lovelace.'
Joining company, he recommended to me to write often; and promised to letme hear quickly from him; and that he would write to your Lordship, andto all his family round; for he said, that you had all been more kind tohim than he had deserved.
And so we parted.
I hope, my Lord, for all your noble family's sake, that we shall see himsoon return, and reform, as he promises.
I return your Lordship my humble thanks for the honour of your invitationto M. Hall. The first letter I receive from Mr. Lovelace shall give methe opportunity of embracing it. I am, my Lord,
Your most faithful and obedient servant,J. BELFORD.