When I wake up the next day I can’t forget about Gabriel’s message. For the first time it will feel normal to be with him. I am glad that he changed his mind about meeting in the daytime.
When I get home in the middle of the afternoon, Amy and Richard are in the living room. Since our odd conversation in London, I feel slightly uncomfortable in Richard's company. They are officially back together. Amy revealed that she was wrong about Richard and she wanted to give him another chance. I respect Amy. Though she isn't exceptionally intelligent, she is a girl with a huge heart.
‘Hey guys, how are you?’ I ask, relaxing on the sofa next to Amy.
‘Hey Ania, I’m good. Rich decided to cook spaghetti Bolognese and I am sure there will be a lot left. Will you stay for dinner?’
‘Okay, I am quite hungry,’ I answer.
I haven’t spoken to Richard since I saw him in London, so I am not sure how he will be around me. Amy is looking exceptionally radiant; her style has changed. She’s stopped wearing bright colours and replaced her heavy makeup with more natural shades. I wonder why I haven't noticed it before. Richard is cooking in the kitchen, singing along to some country song.
‘We are going to Spain in March,’ announces Amy with a bright smile.
‘Well ... that's great,’ I say, but before I can say anything else she continues.
‘It’s Richard's idea. His father has this house by the beach and he’s not there at the moment. I know that it's during the semester, but I will prepare all the assignments in advance, plus it is only a week, so I should be all right.’
I nod and smile. It doesn't matter what I think; she is too in love with him to listen to anything I say. After an hour of showing me the pictures online of Richard's father’s house in Spain, Richard comes out from the kitchen with the massive bowl of the Bolognese and he places it on the table with another plate for me.
‘Ladies, dinner is served,’ says Richard, smiling.
‘Sweet,’ says Amy and I sit with her at the table. The dinner looks amazing. The large bowl of spaghetti Bolognese makes my mouth water. I notice that Richard looks a lot better than when I last saw him. We keep casual conversation between the three of us while enjoying the classic Italian dish. The romantic walk along the coastline is constantly in my mind. Carl appears at the door and joins us. At the table, Richard seems to be completely focused on Amy, talking to all of us about their holiday plans. He gives me a pleasant smile, which I return. After the meal, I excuse myself to everyone and walk upstairs.
In the hallway, I see a Sprite staring at me. It is the same Sprite that followed me around London while Gabriel was away researching my ability. I drop my eyes, pretending that I haven't noticed him in my own house. His skin is pale and he has wide, black eyes and long white hair. On the way to my room, I can feel that he is watching me. I don't understand why he needs to be in the house. It's unusual. I hope that doesn’t mean that Gabriel is away again. The only person that he should be observing is his own human that was chosen for him; Gabriel explained this clearly during our first night together.
When I get to my room and switch on my laptop in bed I notice that my hands are shaking, which is bizarre. The appearance of this new Sprite in my house worries me. Maybe the strange Sprite wanted to see me again. I laugh a few seconds later, thinking that he came to see me because somehow he knows about my ability.
Around 1am, a few days before the scheduled walk, Gabriel doesn't come back and I begin to worry. Normally, I never know when he is supposed to stop by my room, but since his declaration that he needs to be close to me, we have spent most nights together. Somehow I am glad that he doesn't bother me today. My body needs to recover.
I leave in the morning without breakfast, rushing to get to the Hollywood film lecture. Amy was right; the professor is a bit eccentric, but I enjoy listening to his voice so the lecture is never boring. Throughout his lecture, he randomly adds an incredible story to his knowledge about Hollywood films. Today we focus on the old classic film It’s a Wonderful Life. After lunch, I realise that I haven't seen Gabriel all day, and I feel slightly anxious. I walk to the shop for a bottle of water and I notice a familiar Sprite that is staring at me directly. It's the Sprite that I saw last night in the house. I don't look at him, but his eyes are gazing at my every move.
I have a free hour before my next lecture. The white-haired stranger seems to be intrigued by me because he follows me to the library and then later on to the main building while I hurry to get to the next class. It appears as if Gabriel has left me with the stranger when I believed him that everything would be different from now on. Feeling betrayed again, I walk straight home after the class. Confusion spreads over me as the new Sprite follows me home.
It's only Tuesday and my meeting with Gabriel is scheduled for Friday. I can’t stop the negative thoughts that run around my mind. When I get home, it starts raining so I decide to cheer myself up with a cup of tea. Being at home makes me feel safe and the white-haired Sprite is not there. Later that evening, Mum calls to announce that Dmitry has organised a trip to Russia and they will leave in a few weeks. She seems to be happy to go away for a whole month. After her call, I notice a white envelope that I covered with books earlier, and it only now catches my eye.
Don't worry; we will meet on Friday as planned. I am in the middle of something, so I cannot meet you until then.
Always yours,
G
I press the note close to my heart and sigh, feeling like an idiot. Maybe it is better that we don’t see each other until Friday; it gives me time to push out any negative thoughts and focus on something else rather than Gabriel. I can’t live my life around Gabriel and need to learn to prioritise other things too. In the past few weeks, I have been prioritising him above everything else. I grab my purse and decide to go shopping, ignoring the stranger who will be following me. A trip to the hairdresser seems like a good idea; my hair is getting longer and I can’t even remember my last haircut. I put on my best cardigan and leave to enjoy the rest of the day. I need to stop worrying and analysing whatever is happening. Life is good: a gorgeous Sprite wishes to please me, I am away from home and my mother finally is off my back. Everything is slowly going the way I wanted.
On Thursday evening, I decide to go to bed early. I get up at 5am and start preparing everything for the picnic. Then I think about the fact that I have never seen Gabriel eat anything. Maybe the question sounds slightly bizarre, but I am not sure if he actually needs food. There’s so little that I know about him. It is a bit absurd, once I think about it. The only time I see Gabriel is in the night and most of our time together is filled with sex and provocative conversations about reality. Despite that, I decide to pack my bag with food. On my way downstairs, I walk into Richard, who is in the kitchen.
‘Morning Ania, you’re quite the early bird,’ he says, while pouring tea into Amy’s favourite cup.
‘I am going to the beach with a couple of girls,’ I explain, taking a few more items from the fridge. He gives me a surprised look.
‘Don't you think it's a bit extreme to organise a trip at 5 in the morning? Plus, it’s freezing outside.’
He has a point.
‘We want to see the sunrise while jogging. We are kind of like health freaks,’ I explain, coming up with the right excuse.
He nods, smiling lightly. I don't know if he believes me, and I don't really care what he thinks. He walks outside, trying to light his cigarette. When I get to the car, he is still outside smoking and staring at me. The streets are almost empty. It takes me around half an hour to get to Gower Peninsula. I have been here before at the striking cliffs and stunning coastline. It's a perfect place for a romantic walk and I am sure that we won’t be disturbed, hiding off track somewhere. The dawn is breaking when I get out of the car. I take a deep breath and inhale the fresh sea air, taking as much as I can into my lungs. The beach is absolutely spectacular and the tide is fully in. I stand still for a while as I admire the view a
nd the high cliffs in the background.
‘How was your trip?’ asks the familiar voice breathing into my ear.
I can smell Gabriel. I turn around. His dark hair is trapped by the wind; he looks even more striking in the daylight. His blue eyes are even more intense when I am staring at him. I am enjoying a closeness that we never experienced before, witnessed only by nature.
‘I was worried about you,’ I say, giving him a kiss on the cheek. His skin is warm. ‘Hold on, I need to get my bag. I forgot to ask you. Do you … eat?’
I pick up my rucksack with the food prepared earlier. He laughs.
‘Of course I need food; I’m just never hungry when I’m around you. It will be nice to share a meal together,’ he answers and winks at me. He takes my bag and we start walking towards the sea.
‘Aren't you afraid of the consequences?’
‘Near the sea our senses are weaker and I can use my ability to erase my emotions. I can honestly say that we are very similar to humans in our habits, apart from the fact that our life is not as exciting as yours. We have to reflect everything that we do on the humans that we must protect,’ he explains, holding my hand.
The cold wind is blowing, and I am shivering, but I am willing to suffer a little.
Gabriel continues, ‘I like to be around you. Somehow you fill the emptiness in my heart that I was never able to understand.’
‘What don’t you like about your life?’
‘I just hate these obscure rules. I understand this forbidden emotion now. I am attracted to normality but I hate power,' he continues. ‘My mother wants me to be the next councillor, but I have no interest in politics.’
‘So does that mean that you want to become human?’ I ask.
We already discussed this subject, but I always wanted to know if he is willing to sacrifice his life. I would most definitely change my life if I had a chance to do so.
‘If I hadn't met you, it wouldn't matter, but now –’ he says, hesitating for a moment. ‘Yes, I would like to become human, even if it’s only a dream. Every Sprite desires to become human.’
‘Hmm. What about your family?’
‘My family is important. I live with them, but they don’t understand me.’
‘What about the children? What do the Sprite women do with them while they have to be with their chosen human?’ I ask, trying to understand his life on different levels. I already know that it's so different from mine.
‘It’s a family responsibility; my parents would take care of my children. We have to be on duty constantly to ensure that you're making the right decisions.’
‘What if you decide to leave your human and do whatever you want?’
‘What have you got in mind?’
‘I don’t know. Just do whatever you want; live a normal life.’
‘We are always connected to the person that we're supposed to protect, so we cannot change our destiny. We cannot change our life.’
‘Has any other fairy ever become an immortal human?’ I continue. I can tell that he isn’t happy answering all these questions. He is tensing his jaw.
‘The legend says that a few hundred years ago a fae became human by taking the life of a changeling.’
I’m stunned by this revelation – this would be the perfect solution to becoming an immortal human. His life would be so different. When we reach the cliffs, we carry on walking to be as far as we can from the pathway. The sun is rising, and I inhale the fresh air, enjoying every moment. The sea looks calm, but the grey clouds slowly begin to fill the sky and it looks like it will start raining soon.
‘So it's possible?’ I ask. He stops and looked at me with pain in his eyes.
‘I would probably have to kill the last changeling to fulfil this desire, but first of all, I would have to find the last changeling. But as the changelings aren’t in this world anymore it's impossible.’
‘So what else does the legend say? Who can become human?’
‘As far I remember, it is someone who has had enough and has nothing to lose, but I am not really sure because at the time it wasn’t in my interest to find out more.’
‘Hold on – a few hundred years ago? How old are you, then?’ I am feeling foolish; I have never asked Gabriel his age. He smiles a little and he holds me close to his chest. He is warm.
‘I am not sure. I don't age like you,’ he says, and I can’t react. It's not the answer that I expected.
‘What do you mean that you don't know? When you were born?’
'I think in 1887, so that makes me 125. I don't think about the years. I will die eventually, but it will take me longer. We get older differently,' he answers, looking for my reaction, but I am speechless.
I always believed that Gabriel was older, but thought he was only slightly older than me. I never imagined that he could be over a hundred years old.
It takes us another ten minutes before we reach the secluded spot between the rocks. Gabriel presses his lips against mine, tasting me again, while I wrap myself around his warm body. It’s too cold to enjoy the stunning view, but I dissolve all my unnecessary emotions and grasp this moment of short pleasure. Gabriel is wearing a jacket, but his skin seems to be unaffected by the wind and cold. I unpack the blanket, and we sit down by the rocks. I brought sandwiches, fruit and fresh coffee.
‘It's delicious,’ he announces, chewing my sandwich. ‘I would like to stay here forever and die with you in my arms.’
‘I don't know. I think it's too cold for forever,’ I say, smiling. It's bright but it's getting colder and as I predicted, it's started raining; the weather is against us. We are sitting on the blanket, wrapped in each other and enjoying the glorious view of the sea and staring at the waves when suddenly Gabriel’s body tenses. I look at him. He gets up, alerted that something isn’t right. Without any warning, a familiar Sprite appears from nowhere in front of us. I recognise him straight away. It is the tall blond fae that followed me home. He is staring at Gabriel with disbelief in his eyes.
‘Adam,’ says Gabriel, narrowing his blue eyes, and squeezing my hand tightly. I can feel that he is afraid.
‘Well, well, my friend. When I followed your human here I didn't expect to see this,’ he says, revealing a sharp and deep tone.
Gabriel's expression softens for a moment as he is unsure what to say. He inhales, pulling me closer to him. My throat goes dry and my heart starts pumping in my chest. I remember his words well: if anyone else found out about me I am dead.
‘Please, Adam,’ he begins.
‘How is it possible that she can see you?’ asks Adam, looking at me. His white hair is tangled by the wind.
‘I was stabbed and almost died,’ I explain.
Gabriel gives me an angry gaze, warning me to keep my mouth shut.
‘This is incredible,’ says Adam, shifting his body to the side. ‘Gabriel, we have been friends since birth. I feel offended thinking that you don't trust me and are keeping this beautiful lady to yourself.’
I blush slightly. Gabriel’s eyes darken.
‘I am sorry, Adam, but I am protecting her. If anyone else found out, you know exactly what this would mean,’ says Gabriel and my stomach twists uncomfortably.
‘I’m afraid that you are right, my friend,’ says Adam.
He has a white coat and bare feet. He looks incredibly calm with the blond-white hair, and his eyes are shifting from Gabriel to me. I’m unable to guess what he is thinking.
‘Coming here today was foolish, but I know you too well not to notice that you were up to something. Rose is also concerned. You seem so happy.’
Gabriel isn't looking at him; he is staring at the waves.
‘For the first time in my life, I feel happy.’
‘Well, I can only imagine how you are feeling. You know exactly what would happen if anyone else knew about her. She will be probably allowed to live, but you, my dear friend, won’t be so lucky.’
‘That’s what I don’t understand
. Why is it so important that no one knows about me?’ I barge into the conversation.
He stares at me, then his eyes move down my body. I blush again, feeling embarrassed.
‘After the last changeling, the council decided that we are here to help humans and we cannot let them into our world. However, the changelings mixed genes. We desired to have to some fun in our boring lives. From my childhood I remember that many fairy mothers swapped their children to give them happy human lives. It got out of control and the council stopped it forever.’
Gabriel seems calmer again. His expression is unreadable. I suspect that our date is over. Adam is still staring at me while I think about Rose. She is a Sprite, but also a woman, and knows that something is wrong.
‘What are you suggesting?’ asks Gabriel, his tone husky. I know he is uncomfortable. Adam touches his shoulder, moving closer to me. He is slightly shorter than Gabriel, but equally as handsome.
‘Just enjoy yourself. I am not here to judge, but be aware that you are playing a very dangerous game,’ he adds, almost whispering.
His advice is reasonable, but I can't make out if he is wishing us good luck, or if he is just pointing out how stupid we are. I won't forgive myself if anything happened to Gabriel. Both of us are silent. I don't know what to say or how to react.
‘He is right. I am stupid to come here today,’ announces Gabriel. His tone is too high.
‘Don’t be so miserable. Just enjoy it while you can. I am jealous, brother,’ says Adam and winks at me.
I can't help but smile.
‘I think it would be better if we go,’ says Gabriel, staring at me, his eyes full of regret. I refuse to reveal how disappointed I really am. Adam confirms what I was thinking: this relationship isn’t going to get easier for me. Adam helps me realise that maybe I should stop seeing Gabriel to avoid the pain in the future for both of us. Gabriel kisses my forehead and I know it’s our good-bye. His tone of voice changes, but his eyes aren't revealing anything. I drive home, thinking about how uncertain and complicated my life has become since the incident on the beach back in September. I get home in forty minutes. My phone rings half an hour later.
‘Hi, Mum,’ I answer. I was expecting her call.
‘We are just about to leave,’ says Mum. I can sense her stressed tone. I have to move my phone away from my ear because she is shouting and the noise in the background is unbearable.
‘Mum, please don’t scream. I can hear you fine.’
‘I am sorry, Ania. I am just about to get on the plane. Make sure you stay out of trouble.’
I roll my eyes.
‘Yes, don’t worry about me. Tell Grandma that I miss her. Did the police call you about the burglary?’ I ask, hoping to find out more about my missing diary.
‘Oh yes, they say that they caught someone last night.’
‘Who is it?’
‘I don’t know. They say that he wasn’t at the station for long because he got away,’ she continues.
‘What do you mean got away?’
‘The sergeant called me and said that they were not sure how he escaped. He just vanished. They're not sure how. The cell was locked.’
‘Hallo? Hallo, Ania, are you there?’ Mum starts shouting again. I stare at the phone, frozen.
‘I can hear you, Mum. What do you mean that he isn't there? How did they find him anyway?’ I continue to question her. My breathing is irregular and I break out in a cold sweat.
‘I don't know, Ania. He just called me to say that they had him. Apparently, he was caught trying to sell something illegal.’
‘Okay, but what about the part where you said that he escaped from the police station?’ I continue, closing my eyes and trying to calm down. The noise in the background is getting on my nerves and I can’t concentrate.
‘I haven't got time to talk to you right now. I have to go, but I will call you when we get there,’ she says, and I think we get disconnected because the line cuts out.
I fall on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. My thoughts of the memories from Oxwich Bay in Gower Peninsula are slowly dissolving. I try and analyse the details of the break in. Someone broke into my house and searched for something specific. It sounds absurd, but for some reason, I feel that might be exactly what happened.
As Gabriel mentioned, Sprites live in their own world and care only about people's decisions, nothing else. Maybe I should stop seeing Gabriel and avoid all the problems that we may need to face in the future. He is already risking his life just because he feels happy with me. His emotions are new to him; he is too arrogant to understand why he is feeling this way. Sometimes we need to make choices in life that make us suffer, but are for the greater good.
The rollercoaster of emotions that I experienced today has left me feeling drained. My first lecture doesn’t start until 3pm, so I decide to try and go back to bed and forget about everything that’s happened today. The romantic date I was so looking forward to with my lover was interrupted and that's the end of that story now. Adam insinuated that this whole idea was selfish and shouldn't take place, and I’m inclined to believe him.
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