In the evening, all of us gather in the living room. The new housemate, Michael, is kind enough to cook and the rest of us relax in front of the TV. We have some wine to accompany our outstanding meal. Around midnight, I leave to get to bed. I have my check-up at the hospital in the morning and I can't show up there looking tired. Despite going to bed at a reasonable time, I am awakened once again in the early hours in the morning. It's after 4 am when I look at my phone. When I switch on the light on my bedside table, I know that he is in my room.
‘Why do you have to do this?’ I ask, rubbing my eyes. He is standing in the far corner of the room, looking his best as usual. He is wearing a black shirt and his deep blue eyes are focused on me.
‘Do what?’
‘Come in here unexpectedly and wake me up in the middle of the night!’ I snap, feeling uneasy and annoyed. I hate waking up at an unreasonable time. Besides, no one should see me half-asleep and half-naked. He smiles, stepping closer, and I flush.
‘I apologise, but I am curious,’ he answers, staring at me with his blue eyes and noticing my ruby cheeks.
The strong electric current runs through my body. My heart is pounding and I exhale sharply, trying to gain control.
He explains, ‘I was never able to talk to you, but now that you can see me, I feel that I need to get to know you. I am supposed to protect your soul.’
‘What does that mean, protect my soul?’ I manage to ask, my tone shrill.
‘It’s complicated. As far as I can tell, women like to feel protected.’ His eyes narrow as if he is sure that he is right. I decide to ignore the last sentence and focus on the window so that I can control my breathing.
‘What about your name? I suppose that’s not too complicated to tell me.’ I like my sarcasm today, feeling that he can't intimidate me. He smiles once again.
‘My name is Gabriel and you don’t need to introduce yourself, I have been around you for a while.’
I open my mouth with amazement, trying to adjust to what he just said. His eyes are following my every move. Gabriel is calm and reserved; his posture shows confidence. He is named after one of the most famous angels in the Bible.
‘I don’t really know what to ask you. Your answers are confusing me even more,’ I mutter to myself.
‘It’s a lot to take in right now,’ he responds.
‘So why are you following us?’ This is the only rational question that comes to my mind.
‘This is our purpose in life – to make sure you follow the right path or try to influence you to make the right decisions.’
‘Make the right decisions? So you are like a guardian angel?’ I know my questions are ridiculous, but whatever he is saying doesn't make much sense either.
‘If it would be easier for you to understand, then you can say that. I am flattered to be called an angel.’ His voice is more relaxed, but he doesn't take his eyes off mine, stroking his smoky black hair again. My breathing quickens when he does that.
‘What about the woman that I saw you with today? Is she a Sprite as well?’ I try to sound as if I don't care, but my tone is too high again. His blue eyes crinkle in the corners and his posture tenses.
‘She is the one chosen for me.’
I stare at Gabriel, pretending that what he said didn’t affect me, but the jolt of jealousy shoots right through me. I shouldn’t care that he is involved with another Sprite; he is way out of my league. I am trying not to blush, but it is inevitable.
It is only the second time that we met and spoke and I never felt this kind of connection to any other man, not even George. The new emotions are uncontrolled and ruthless.
Gabriel is perfect, but he isn’t a human, and I can't be so foolish to fall for him just because he is a Sprite. He is staring at me in silence and the corner of his lips tip into a smile.
I clear my throat.
‘So are you very similar to us?’ I ask, trying not to sound overly interested and intent on changing the subject.
‘Unfortunately, we are bound by our duties. We have to marry the person that our parents choose for us. It’s more of an arrangement. Rose is destined for me.’ His tone is formal.
‘Rose?’
‘My fiancée; the Sprite that you saw me with today,’ he explains.
‘This applies to every Sprite?’ I ask, confused. He still isn’t looking at me; his face stares towards the shadow of the curtain as if his mind is elsewhere.
‘Yes, our lives aren’t as exciting as that of humans. We are here to mix with only our own kind and we cannot choose the person that we want to spend our life with. The arrangement cannot be broken even if I would like it to be broken,’ he explains, stepping closer to me.
He is distracting me; I feel the tingle that starts in my toes working its way up my body.
‘What if you won’t follow the arrangement? Surely someone has had to fight for the person that he or she loved?’
I have to shut up; this isn’t relevant. I glare at him, wondering if I am crossing the line here asking about his personal life.
‘There have been situations in the past. All Sprites that don't follow the arrangements are dead.’ He finishes, almost whispering, ‘Years ago there was a Sprite that used her power. She killed an infant and since then it’s forbidden to reveal ourselves to humans.’
The atmosphere is the room shifts when Gabriel starts talking about the harsh rules. Sprites don't have love in their marriages, but there are so many questions that I have to ask.
'So no one ever complained?’ I ask with disbelief. His expression shifts and he stares at me blankly as if he doesn't understand my question.
‘We are not humans. We have been created to help people make the right decisions; the enjoyment of our lives isn’t a priority for us. I would love to talk about changelings, but I don’t think the time is suitable.’ He concludes by moving towards my book collection. I am not sure if he is even trying to make me understand him and his background; I have never heard of changelings. I get up and put my pink robe on quickly as I wonder if he will be looking at me, but when I turn around he is occupied with looking at books.
‘I have to go to the bathroom,’ I say, breaking the awkward silence.
‘I am just about to leave anyway; I am risking my life and yours by talking to you,’ he replies. ‘I will be back to explain this further in a few days.’
I nod and then he is gone. I exhale with disappointment. He never stays for more than half an hour. So not only are there ‘forbidden’ relationships, but he’s not even supposed to speak to me. Well, that’s just convenient! Although, he did say there was a Sprite that murdered a human, so does this mean that another human was able to see her as well?
I toss and turn for the rest of the night thinking about our short conversation, secretly wondering if Gabriel is glad that I’ve become the one that is able to notice him. I try to convince myself that my emotions are not real, but my heart contradicts everything that my mind is telling me. My whole body reacts when he moves or looks at me, but I am struggling to read if I have any effect on him. He is breaking the rules for me.
By the end of November it rains constantly. I struggle to get out of bed in the mornings. The temperature drops significantly. My visit to the hospital went well despite the lack of sleep the night before; the doctor informs me that the wound is healing nicely. I keep quiet about my mysterious experiences with creatures from fairy tales.
After a few weeks since the check up, I am able to take off the bandage. The nasty scar is visible and it will constantly remind me what had happened in Swansea for years to come. Despite that, I feel that this period in my life is finally over. Only my odd ‘disability’ is still present.
Gabriel doesn’t visit me as he promised, but he keeps an eye on me. However, when I decide to go to my room after a large meal downstairs he is already there waiting for me. I stand in the door and my jaw hangs open. It’s been weeks since we last spoke and now he is in my room again.
br /> ‘Evening,’ he says, folding his arms together leaning on the window. My heartbeat speeds up as if the awareness of him standing in my room is driving me mad.
‘Hi,’ I squeak, and close the door behind me. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I promised that I would come back,’ he responds, gazing me at me intensely. ‘I have to apologise that I didn’t come back earlier. I had to deal with other issues.’
‘Am I going to find out more about you today?’ I ask, walking across my own bedroom. I am angry that he didn’t come back when he was supposed to. I was going to study today, but now this is not going to happen. I toss my red hair and sit down on my bed, pretending that his presence doesn’t have any effect on me. I shouldn’t be so direct, but I am curious to know more about him.
‘Yes, I came back to explain more about our world.’
‘Great.’
He doesn’t take his blue eyes off me, and then he shifts his position by the window and walks up to me.
‘Do you mind if I sit down?’
The smell of spearmint, cypress wood and bergamot hits me again and my mind starts to spin. I stare at him bewildered. He smiles.
‘Yes, sure,’ I murmur, feeling like my face is heating up.
Why do I always have to behave like a total idiot? He is so much closer than I ever anticipated that the electric current shoots through my body. The air shifts. I’ve got to pull myself together.
‘Well, I thought that it would be good to start with the basics, although I've already explained that humans aren’t able to see us. If I reveal to the Council that there is a human that knows about us, you would probably be dead already.’
I don’t know what is going on with me. My heart is pounding, his eyes are on me and he's expecting me to ask him a question, but I don’t think I can talk right now.
‘The Council detests emotions of love. We have been brought up to avoid depending on that emotion; that’s why you are vulnerable. I can influence you, but you can change me as well.’
‘How?’ I ask, finally finding my voice.
‘I can start experiencing forbidden emotions, and if they found out about me they would kill me. I would probably dishonour my family,’ he adds, shifting his weight. He is too close and I can’t think straight.
‘Tell me more about your family?’ I ask. I am surprised with myself for being so forward with him.
He raises his left eyebrow and smiles. ‘I do like to be around humans. My mother is tightly involved in the Council. She is the highest member and if she finds out about you she would be the first person that would vote for my death.’
‘Your own mother?’ I ask, staring at him with disbelief.
‘You’ve got to understand that she has to obey to rules. She worked hard to be in her position and she doesn’t give second chances.’ He pauses. ‘Me, on the other hand, I was never interested in politics.’
‘So what are you interested in?’
He doesn’t respond straight away. His eyes wander to the window. Maybe it’s a personal question, but Gabriel doesn’t seem to care about the rules. He is confident enough to carry on meeting with me. He sounds different when he is talking about the council and these odd laws.
‘Our lives were different when there were changelings around. We had more freedom.’
‘Changelings?’
‘You should know this from history. We used to swap infants years ago, but this practice has been stopped ...’
‘What do you mean by swapping children?’ I ask.
‘Maybe you are too young to understand what I mean, but years ago we used to take human infants and replace them with our own, to allow them to have a better life.’
‘What?’ I stand up, feeling like a stone was just dropped into my stomach. ‘You used to steal children?’
‘If you read your history books, then you would know that this practice was common in past centuries,’ he responds coldly.
I blink rapidly, trying to stop my racing heart. He thinks that I am stupid! I have never heard about changelings. What he describes sounds so cruel.
‘Are you going to sit down so I can tell you more about myself, rather than changelings? I think I brought up that subject too early,’ he says in a husky voice.
I hesitate, but sit down, feeling that our connection is stronger than I originally thought. I’ve got so many questions, but I don’t know what I should ask him first. He appears to be confident like he knows it all.
‘No, tell me more about changelings. I need to know,’ I press.
‘I don’t want to discuss this now,’ he cuts in and I think he is angry.
I never expected him to be so touchy about this subject. ‘Well then, let’s talk about something else,’ I say coldly. ‘For example, where do you live?’
‘Near the beach in Three Cliffs Bay. Our homes aren’t visible to humans. We tend to stay closer to the coastline, but others normally live in the middle of nowhere. Before your ability developed I was around you often.’
‘What about your father? Is he involved with the Council as well?’
‘No,’ he responds. ‘My father isn’t too keen on council rules. We have similar values, and although my mother is tied to the Council, my father doesn’t think that everything they do is necessary.’
‘For example?’
‘Well, I would need at least a few hours to talk about it, which unfortunately I don’t have.’
‘Right.’
‘There will be another time,’ he hisses, leaning slightly closer and an electric current shoots through me again. ‘Goodbye.’
Then he is gone. Yet again he didn’t explain everything, just leaving me with questions. Maybe it’s partly my fault, because I tend to ask a lot of questions and haven’t got enough patience. I need to stop thinking about how I am reacting every time he is close to me.
To distract myself from my confusing feelings, I switch on my laptop and start searching for the term ‘changeling.’ Surprisingly, I find a lot of articles about the myth. The stories go back as early as the fifteenth century. I stay up for a few hours, reading about this fascinating history. So he was right: we always believed that fairies were stealing our children, but no one was ever able to see them. Gabriel said that it doesn’t happen anymore. He said that this practice has been stopped. I should have asked him why, but we didn’t get into that. I fall asleep thinking about his blue eyes and wondering why I am the only one that can see them. I need to find out about the past; there was someone else that had a similar gift to mine.
The next few days pass quickly, but I still have Gabriel in my mind. George keeps calling, surprisingly making an effort. He promises to visit me sometime soon, but he isn’t specific, as usual.
Since I left London my life has been transformed. Unexpectedly, my phone is silent for a few days. Mum stopped calling me and I am not sure what is happening to her. Finally, on Sunday evening, I manage to get a hold of her, and after nagging questions she reveals that she had a date. However, this is the only information that I am able to get out of her. I can hear in her voice that she is embarrassed and isn’t comfortable talking about this with me. I hang up the phone, feeling happy that she is finally getting on with her life. Mum is in her mid-forties and spends far too much of her time concentrating on me. I hope that this will bring more and more opportunities for her to find someone else close to her heart.
A few days after the conversation with Mum and an interesting time with Gabriel, I open the front door. I wonder who is knocking at our student pad so late on this gloomy Friday evening.
‘Hello, Ania,’ says George, standing outside smiling widely. I stare at him, unable to say anything, frozen. George hands me the flowers he's holding and kisses me unexpectedly. The kiss is surprising and I expect a burst of the usual emotions to arise. Instead I feel nothing.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask, confused and worried, still standing in the doorway.
‘I told you that I would come to
see you. I missed you,’ he explains, stepping inside.
Reluctantly, I let him in. I close the door, feeling defeated as he makes himself comfortable on the sofa in the living room. Michael and Carl are in the kitchen, cooking supper. He looks good. His blond hair is styled and he is wearing a dark blazer with designer jeans. Normally, under these circumstances I would be happy to see him, but his visit is so unpredicted that I am more worried than excited.
‘Hey guys. This is George – a friend,’ I say, looking at Mike and Carl, who are busy debating on the choice of ingredients that they should add to their curry.
‘I hate to correct you, darling, but I am your boyfriend,’ says George, smiling. Mike and Carl are staring at me, uncertain. ‘Nice to meet you guys.’
My housemates acknowledge his greeting with a nod and get back to their exotic dish. I am just about to take George upstairs to my room to find out what exactly he is doing in my house, when Amy walks in, looking all dressed-up and glamorous. She added long blonde extensions to her hair; she has a black maxi dress on and hasn’t overdone it with the makeup tonight.
‘Ania, are you ready?’ she asks, not noticing George, who is talking to Carl and Michael in the kitchen.
‘Ready?’ I ask blankly.
‘Don’t tell me that you forgot about tonight’s party?’
‘Party?’ George interrupts while walking back into the living room. I sigh, trying to take a deep breath.
‘Oh Amy, this is George, my friend from London,’ I say, stepping forward and smiling. I have mentioned George to Amy, but I gave a very brief description, intentionally avoiding the complicated relationship part.
‘I have to correct her all the time. I am her boyfriend,’ adds George and winks at Amy, who starts laughing. I roll my eyes and think I have already lost the battle with George with regards to the status of our relationship.
‘Umm …’ This is the only coherent sound that I am able to make.
‘So are you guys coming to the party?’ asks Amy.
‘No, I don’t think –’
‘Of course we are,' George interjects. 'Ania will go upstairs to change and get ready. So what kind of party is it?’
I leave them discussing details about the wild student party. I walk to my room, feeling overwhelmed and angry with myself. I invited him, but I didn't expect him to show up so quickly. George is behaving strangely. I am not in the mood to go out, and I especially don't want to go out with George and Amy at the same time. At this point, I don't have any choice so I put on my best dress and make my way back downstairs. When I join them, George and Amy are still engaged in a conversation about the nightclubs in London. Michael and Carl are sitting opposite, looking annoyed as they are trying to watch a football match on TV. I give them an apologetic look and put a smile on my face.
When we finally leave the house, Amy is talking about how much she enjoyed herself at the last party she went to. George takes my hand and looks as if he is actively listening to my housemate. I am feeling uncertain about this whole evening; we have a problematic history and I am the one who always ends up crying because of him. There have been many situations when we went out together and by the end of the night, I had to get home by myself because my ‘boyfriend’ disappeared unexpectedly. I am not sure what’s changed tonight; George is charming and caring and has brought flowers. I feel on alert and suspicious.
It is dark when we leave the house and it is raining, so we decide to take a taxi. The house party is somewhere on Mumbles Road. When we reach our destination I find myself staring at a three-story town house filled with drunken students. I haven’t noticed any Sprites around, though I expect them to keep themselves away from crowds of people. Amy announces that she is going to get us drinks. The music is loud and there is a variety of alcohol in the kitchen; people seem to be enjoying themselves. We are in the living room when Amy appears again and hands me a glass of rosé wine and a pint of beer for George. Then she vanishes, explaining that she has to meet a French bloke that she was introduced to at the last party.
‘So why are you really here, George?’ I ask, making sure that I sound serious. The music is so loud I have to raise my voice. He looks at me as if he didn't understand my question.
‘I told you. I missed you,’ he says and begins kissing my neck gently. I shiver, but I am not going to let him fool me. I push him away.
‘Where were you for all that week when I was in the hospital?’ I continue, as I don't want to fall for his charm so soon. He looks at me for a while and takes a pull on his beer.
‘I didn't know that you were in the hospital and I have been thinking about how badly I treated you in the past.’ He is staring at me, his honey-brown eyes full of pity. ‘I want us to be real now.’
My jaw drops. George is expressing real feelings towards me. I can't believe what I am hearing. On any other occasion, I would be over the moon, but today my feelings for him are no longer in my heart. I don't want him to feel this way.
‘What do you mean by ‘real?’’ I ask, taking a sip of wine. ‘Being a real couple?’
If he is not really serious he will back off at this point, but his expression doesn't change.
‘I thought about it for a long time and I want us to be together.’
I smile and decide to play it my way, remembering all the times when I cried because of his lack of emotions. My subconscious reminds me about the handsome Sprite who visited me a while ago.
‘Let me think about it. For now, let’s enjoy this party,’ I say, almost whispering, and push him to the middle of the floor where everyone is dancing. He doesn't have a chance to say anything else, but his expression clearly shows that he didn't expect the answer I gave him. I drink the large glass of rosé, forgetting about all the tensions from last week. I want to get drunk tonight. The music is fast and I am feeling amazingly relaxed. George vanishes to get more drinks and I search for Amy, but in the room full of people it is difficult to spot anyone.
6