CHAPTER 3 - The Very First Time
Now, let me talk about my sexual awakening. You can compare and see how different our worlds are!
Besides amazing food, India is famous for another thing, Bollywood and movies. India is a country which has over 100 languages and spoken dialects. All these relate to different zones/areas and the life-style/dressing-style of these people differs in each zones. Some areas have high rate of education, some have high rate of poverty and all this defines the style, understanding and even the crime rate of that place.
Bollywood is the famous film industry which everyone knows about, but Indian film industry is one of the biggest in the world, only second to Hollywood. Hindi is the national language of India and all films made by Bollywood are in this language. Besides Hindi, the other major languages which produce a lot of films are Telugu, Tamil and Malayalam. Even though our national language is Hindi, we have our local language which we call as “Mother Tongue”. Mine is Telugu and the film industry is called “South Film Industry” or “Tollywood” (You see the name inspiration from Hollywood, it goes deep down south as well.)
I am talking about the time before internet or DVDs, information was available only through books, and for films, it was movie theatres or television. I was teenager back then and discovered what masturbation was from friends. I still vividly recollect the first time I ever tried it, I got hold of this adult magazine from one of my friend, it was called “Debonair”. And when I did it for the very first time watching a nude picture of an Indian adult-industry model, it was simply amazing. After discovering masturbation at 15 years of age, it never stopped until I had real intercourse. So quite a long, long wait!!
Indian films had these beautiful actresses in skimpy outfits, dancing in the rain, things which we wouldn’t see in real life. Yes, the most modern outfits which we would see a girl wearing was Jeans or a skirt, which again was at least knee length. Note, I wouldn’t say every girl in India dressed like this or every parent was that conservative, but I am talking about the areas where I grew up, or the people around me. We have a huge Christian community in India and they were much more liberal, but I seldom had contact or spent time with them. So, seeing a girl in a T-Shirt and Jeans or a slightly short skirt was an attractive sight for me as a teenager. Compare this to Britain, girls do experiment a lot with clothing and they feel absolutely comfortable in very short clothes. Summer probably is the best season as gone are these long wintery clothes and out comes short skirts and transparent tops. Seeing this for the first time after arriving to the UK was simply mind-blowing. I mean how can you compete with something like this, I saw a young girl at my university wearing a very short skirt and it was really windy. By the time she walked over to the computer lab building, I saw her underwear about a dozen times, despite her struggling hard to keep it down! Or this time, when I was walking into my college accommodation, it has communal bathrooms and this one girl casually walked over to her room in nothing but her lingerie. Or how super-confident this random girl at the mall feels, she was wearing a completely transparent mesh top with no slip or bra underneath. The first time I saw that, I have to rub my eyes to believe it! So UK wins!! Hands down!!
Moving on to my first kiss, there was this girl in the neighbourhood, same age as me, who used to hang out with us most of the time. As I mentioned, I used to live in a flat which my parents owned in the centre of the city. Our apartments building had about 40 flats, so there was lot of kids. I lived there since I was about 10 years old and we were a group of kids who used to play together. It consisted of both boys and girls and being a part of this group was one of my best childhood memories.
At around age 10, this was the time when most of us had Atari’s or Nintendo’s, but our parents only allowed us to play on it for about an hour during the weekends. So most of the time, it was playing games like hide-and-seek, catch me if you can, etc. with other kids from the apartments. We all were pretty close and most of us from this group became best friends. And each one of us had our eye set on some girl from the group. And I was no different, there was this sweet looking girl who was very kind and liked me a lot. She used to hang out at my house most of the time, we studied together, played Nintendo together and also were secretly aware of the feelings which we had for each other, even though we were not verbal about it. And one fine day, we both were 15 then, I couldn’t resist and I kissed her. It was Diwali festival and she came over to our house with sweets and wore this beautiful Indian Sari (It is our traditional dress, Google it to see pictures). Usually Saris are reserved for girls when they reach certain age, like after then enter 18years. Mostly girls were jeans, skirts or another Indian favourite called “Chudidar” (Again Google this to see). But young girls wore Saris only on special occasions and with this girl, it was the first time I ever saw her wear that, she looked absolutely beautiful. She came over, conveyed wises and offered sweets to my parents first, then came into my room and did the same. We hugged and I couldn’t control myself, so I kissed her on her cheek. She blushed, but shockingly, kissed me back on my cheek. I then hugged her again and kissed on her lips. She smiled and kept quiet. I asked her to meet me on our terrace in a few minutes. She said yes and went away.
I, totally being in trance, waited for about 15 minutes on our terrace before she showed up. I quickly took her to a corner which was out of sight as it was obstructed by over-head water storage units, then hugged her and we started kissing. It went on for about 15 minutes before we decided to go downstairs. I couldn’t control my excitement and went home and masturbated thinking about this. It was the very first kiss of my life and it probably was the best feeling I had until then. It was better than the feeling I had when my dad bought me the Nintendo or when I got my first bicycle or all my favourite sweets put together!!
It was summer holidays and our kissing went on for the next two months. We both were naïve and afraid to take it any further, so it was mostly kissing, hugging and caressing each other. We were in supreme bliss and wished it was like this forever. But yes, life intervenes!! Actually, I just watched Deadpool and cannot help but nick this quote from it – “Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness.” So, I came home from a shopping trip one day and found out that her dad got reposted to a different location in India. This was in Delhi, my girl and her family didn’t have any relations back in Hyderabad, so the chances of her coming back to Hyderabad were less! Her dad’s position was supposed to be temporary in Hyderabad, but somehow it got stretched to 8 years, and now it was time to move back. Their company closed off the branch in Hyderabad and were focussing on developing their central branch in Delhi and they wanted her dad, who was in a very good position, back at the main office.
I was shattered, I remember we were alone in my house few days before she was about to leave, and we both hugged and cried our heart out. Then we remembered all the good times which we had for the past 7 years. Then she did something which I didn’t expect her to do. She slipped her hands into my trouser and masturbated me. It was amazing but I was very sad to really enjoy it.
The day of her departure arrived in the wink of an eye, her dad organised movers to shift their entire luggage and I, along with my parents went to see them off at the train station. I emptied my piggy-bank and put all my pocket money to buy her his gold-plated chain which had a heart-shaped pendant. And she had a favourite scarf for years, which she always loved it and never could let it go, she gave that to me to remember her by. It smelled like her and you know what, its years now and I still have it!
We promised to keep in touch with each other. Long distance calls were very expensive in India and yes, this was the time when there were no cell phones or internet. Even then we spoke for about 10 minutes every
weekend and used to write letters to each other once every 2 weeks or so.
Time again is a real culprit, this frequency slowly stopped and we completely let go when her dad took up a job in America and moved there for good. So, that was my first, sweet innocent love story, it began very late, but ended very quickly! Oh, by the way, I never mentioned her name till now, but I need to tell you as there will be future references. Her name is “Anitha”, similar to the English name “Anita”