Chapter Five
“Are you sure Mama’s air conditioner isn’t working?” Red asked. “Why do I feel like this is some mastermind plot to squeeze information about this murder out of me?”
“Well, I couldn’t exactly ask your mother for proof.” said Elaine. “She told me the air was broken and that the guy wouldn’t be able to come out for a couple of days. July isn’t the best month to live in an un-air conditioned house in the deep South.”
Red rubbed his eyes. “I just hope she won’t start being nosy. You know how she is. Always putting herself in the middle of the action.”
“She’s only trying to stay cool, Red. You should give your mom the benefit of the doubt. Besides, would it really hurt to give her just a couple of minor details about the murder?”
“Elaine, you know I can’t do that.”
“Would it really matter that much? You could just give her something to think about. Not everything with the case is top secret, is it? You know how she loves to try to puzzle out these mysteries. And she’s not the only one. The whole town of Bradley is curious, Red. Think of the throngs in the street.”
“Throngs? In Bradley? I haven’t seen them, but even if they exist, they’re not playing detective—they’re just looking for gossip. I saw that gleam in Mama’s eye. In that twisted mind of hers, she’s clutching a magnifying glass, smoking a pipe, and wearing a deer-stalker cap.”
Elaine said, “She could actually help you out. She’s solved cases before.”
“Endangering her life in the process.”
“She’s an old lady, Red, and I think she’s slowing down a little. This time she might be a Nero Wolfe and solve the case from home.”
“Maybe she’ll be a Miss Marple type who sticks her nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
“Maybe you could just share some minor case trivia with her tonight.”
“Maybe I could nip her nosiness in the bud tonight.”
Elaine turned and looked meaningfully into his eyes. “Yard gnomes, Red. With red hats. Dozens of them.”
Red shuddered. Arguments with his mother were followed by Myrtle dragging out her collection of ceramic garden gnomes and placing them all over her front yard. The coy gnomes (and his neighbors) stared at him accusingly until Myrtle got her way. And she always, always got her way.
“All right. I’ll give her some sort of briefing. But I might give her red herrings instead of clues.”
Myrtle’s doorbell rang and this time she carefully peeped out the door to make sure it wasn’t Erma Sherman. She opened it when she saw Red. “What a lovely habit this is starting to be, Red! Two visits in two days.”
Red grunted something as he walked in, then stopped. “Wow. It’s hot in here.”
“Exactly what I told Elaine,” said Myrtle primly. Red clearly thought she’d come up with some sort of trumped up excuse to stay with them. She watched as he stomped his way to her back hall. “And the thermostat is set to seventy,” she said complacently.
“Well, I can’t say I’m shocked. It’s about time for something like this to happen. I’ve said for a long time that this house needs some repairs done. That’s another great thing about living in a retirement community, Mama. You don’t have to worry about home repairs anymore. If you’ve got a busted pipe or a bunch of electrical problems, the retirement home folks are the ones who have to foot the bill.”
Myrtle deftly ignored the last part. “I don’t know what you mean about the house needing work. It’s running just fine. The air conditioner probably just needs Freon or something.”
“Well, looking around, I already see a bunch of stuff that could be done. These scatter rugs are a menace for one thing. You could break your neck on those. It sounds to me like one of your toilets is running…that’s got to be costing you every month.” He swung his head around and frowned, looking toward the ceiling. “Where are your smoke detectors? And carbon monoxide detectors?”
“My smoke detector is right there, Red. Over the front door. I only need one. This house is about as big as a breadbox.”
Red strode across the living room in a couple of steps. “This?” He pressed a test button on the smoke detector and there was a spectacular silence in response. Myrtle cursed under her breath. They didn’t make batteries like they used to, she was sure of it.
“Now this is alarming, Mama,” said Red, putting his hands on his hips.
“No pun intended?” she asked smoothly.
“I’m going to install some smoke detectors for you. You should have one in the kitchen, one in the bedroom, one near your garage. With functioning batteries.”
“You don’t need to do anything, Red! I’m fully capable of taking care of this myself. And I will—the very next time I go to the store. I had no idea the batteries were dead in that thing. I think having three or four smoke detectors is overkill, but all right.”
Red stomped off toward the bedroom, probably looking for more safety infractions. “Got a suitcase packed?” he called.
“Right there inside my bedroom door. And I’ve got a grocery bag of food to bring over with me.”
Red joined her with the suitcase. “Now that’s something you don’t have to worry about. Elaine and I can afford to feed an extra mouth, you know.”
“Just the same, I don’t want to be any bother,” Myrtle said righteously.
Red seemed to be biting his tongue. He grabbed the bag of food and he and Myrtle walked across the street. Myrtle leaned feebly on her cane. “You just don’t know how much I appreciate this, Red, especially considering how you’re so busy right now. You don’t have a whole lot of time for houseguests, what with a murder on your hands.” Would he actually admit that it was murder?
“Well, it will mainly be Elaine who has to deal with you, Mama. I mean, Elaine who’ll be making you feel at home. Murders sure don’t happen every day in Bradley. You’re right about being busy. I’m guessing I won’t be at home much while you’re visiting.” He looked positively determined.
So Puddin was right. It was murder.