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Sam took a step toward the man who meant so much to Nathan. Whom Nathan had protected, demanded that he be tended to before Nathan himself.
“Swanny, we want to help him, but we can’t if we don’t know everything. You aren’t betraying him. You have to know that. ”
“I could be condemning him in your eyes,” Swanny said gruffly.
“Never,” Garrett ground out. “I don’t care what you tell us. He’s our brother. That doesn’t change just because he’s been changed. ”
To Sam’s surprise, Rachel rose from the couch where she sat with Ethan. Her eyes were troubled and her hands shook as she stepped toward Swanny. Then she touched his arm, her expression understanding.
“It’s about her, isn’t it?”
Relief swamped over Swanny’s face. He all but sagged. “He talked to you about her?”
There was hope in his voice that if Nathan had shared whatever it was with Rachel, then it wasn’t solely Swanny’s burden to keep his secrets.
Rachel nodded. “He said she talked to him. That she sent Donovan the email telling him where to find you and Nathan. ”
Donovan’s head shot up, and he was about to explode with questions, but Sam flung his hand out to silence his brother, his expression fierce. Donovan’s lips tightened but he settled back and didn’t interrupt.
“Did he…Did he tell you everything?” Swanny hedged.
“I’m sure he didn’t. He was very closed-mouthed about it all. But you aren’t betraying him, Swanny. No more than I betray him by relating all he told me. We’re his family and we love him. We only want to help. Not condemn. It doesn’t matter to us what’s happened, or whether he thinks he’s crazy. We know he’s not. But he needs our help. ”
Sweet, loving Rachel. It was like watching beauty tame a wild beast.
“Swanny, whatever it is you tell us, we’re not going to condemn, judge or otherwise decide anything about Nathan other than we want to make damn sure he’s safe and has the help he needs,” Sam said. He eyeballed his brothers, making sure they understood the implied command.
“Her name is Shea,” Swanny finally said. “I know nothing about her other than she talked to Nathan while we were held captive. According to Nathan, she took his pain for him. She even endured a torture session, shielding it and taking it for him. Don’t ask me how. I don’t know. It all sounds like bullshit, right? But Nathan took more torture than any of us. They worked harder on him. And when they finally decided they couldn’t break him, they used him to try to break me. Only Nathan got us out of there. I was injured. I was bleeding internally. I couldn’t breathe and I knew I was going to get us both killed. I asked him to leave me. He put his hands on me, and I swear to God, he did something to heal me. ”
The looks on his brothers’ faces ranged from incredulity, to doubt, to “What is this dude smoking?” Sam shook his head in warning again. Hell yeah, it sounded crazy. He couldn’t even wrap his head around it. But the important thing was that Nathan believed it. Swanny believed it. And now Nathan had gone off after his imaginary woman?
“He thinks she’s in trouble. He’s had episodes…Weird shit. Like maybe she was trying to talk to him again. I think it’s what happened today, what pushed him over the edge. I don’t know, but I’d bet everything I own that he’s gone to Crescent City because he thinks that’s where Shea is. ”
“Oh Jesus,” Joe muttered. “This can’t be good. ”
“What will you do, Sam?” Marlene asked.
He glanced at his mom and dad, saw the worry in their eyes, the helplessness that they couldn’t seem to get through to Nathan.
He dragged in a breath because his first instinct was to take all the manpower KGI had behind it, haul ass to Crescent City and take care of business. As much as he wanted to do it, and knew it was what his brothers wanted to, he knew it wasn’t what they should do. And it was killing him.
“What did Nathan say to you exactly, Van?” Sam asked. “Earlier when you talked to him about KGI. ”
“He said he had every intention of joining but that there was something he had to do—on his own—before he could commit. I tried to offer help. I tried to pry it out of him. He wasn’t giving details. ”
Christ, but this was complicated. He wouldn’t send Garrett. Garrett would want to go, would insist on going. But he should stay behind with Sarah. The two had already sacrificed much in deference to Nathan. Sam wasn’t going to drag Garrett away now, especially when he had no idea what they were in for.
He glanced up at Rachel. Rachel, who seemed to know exactly what Sam grappled with. Her gaze was determined. Direct. It told him to send Ethan. It demanded that he send Ethan.
She would want the best for Nathan. She’d been very protective of him since he’d come back, and maybe it was good for Rachel to have someone to protect, since she still needed so much shielding herself.
“I think Ethan and Van should go,” Sam finally said. It pissed him off to stand down from this one, but how could he convince Garrett to stay if he wasn’t willing to do it himself?
“Wait just a goddamn minute,” Joe exploded. “I’m not staying here. Fuck that. ”
“Joe!” Marlene reprimanded. Her scowl was fierce as she stared her younger son down.
“Sorry, Ma,” he mumbled. “But it is bullshit and Sam knows it. I don’t need his permission to go after my brother. ”
For once, Garrett was the voice of reason.
“I think Sam’s right,” Garrett said. “I think Ethan and Van should go and the rest of us should stay here. They’ll call us in if it turns out to be something they need us for. Joe, right now Nathan doesn’t need you on his back. I get what you’re trying to do. I get that you’re frustrated. I know you and Nathan are closer than the rest of us are. But that added pressure isn’t going to help Nathan. It’s just going to push him further away and isolate him all the more. Let Ethan and Van check it out and report back. Then we’ll make a decision as to whether anything further should be done. ”
“He’s not crazy!” Rusty burst out. “If he says he talked to this woman, I believe him. He wouldn’t make up something like that. ”
Marlene pulled her into her arms. “No one thinks he’s crazy, baby. We’re all worried about him. That’s all. And we want to help. Ethan and Donovan will handle it right. ”
Swanny looked up at Sam, determination gleaming in the shadowed depths. “I know I’m not part of your team, but I want to go. I need to do this for him. He refused to leave me. I’m not going to leave him. ”
Sam glanced at Donovan, and Donovan nodded.
“Okay, you’re in, Swanny. Right now, you’re the only one Nathan’s talking to, so maybe you can figure out what the hell is going on. ”
CHAPTER 15
IT was pitch black when Nathan landed. The sky was overcast. No stars. No moon. There was a murkiness to the air that left him uneasy and stirred his panic.
He was impatient with the time it took to square away paperwork and make sure the jet was adequately hangared. His cell phone was buzzing his leg off. Missed calls, current calls, texts and voice mails from his family.
He ignored them all but knew he had to tell them something. He picked up his phone as he jogged toward the parking lot, where the rental was supposed to be waiting. He didn’t want to get involved in a conversation because there was no way it could end well.
So he sent a text to Joe.
I’m okay. Don’t worry. Keep family off my back. I need to do this. Be in touch soon.
As soon as he hit Send, he shut off the phone and tossed his pack into the jeep.
He’d tried to plan for any eventuality in the few minutes he had to gather his wits and hit the road. But his one thought was to get to Shea, however he had to do it.
He took a moment to reach into his pack, retrieve his pistol and make sure his clip was loaded. He pulled out the assault rifle, popped in the magazine and then laid it on the seat. He shove
d the Glock into the shoulder harness and did a quick inventory of his supplies.
He had no idea what he was up against, but he was prepared for damn near anything.
Automatically he reached for Shea. They hadn’t communicated much during the flight. She needed to rest and regain her strength, but he’d checked in periodically, always afraid that she’d simply be gone.
Shea. I’m here, baby. I’m not far. Where are you?
He felt her stir as though she’d been asleep. He felt her grogginess and then her sudden fear and self-condemnation that she’d allowed herself to drift off. He ached to hold her and to ease her fear, just as she’d once done for him.
I’m in a culvert. She struggled to clear her mind of the cobwebs. There’s a drainage ditch just past the sign saying two miles from the city limits. I hid there.
Sit tight. Don’t move a muscle until I get there.
Nathan roared down the highway, the headlights bouncing erratically off the landscape. He kept at the speed limit because he couldn’t afford to be pulled over with a freaking arsenal in the jeep.
He was traveling in reverse of the way Shea had come in and as a result he passed over the culvert before he realized it. Swearing, he executed a sharp U-turn and spun back around. His headlights flashed over the sign Shea had referenced and he slowed to a crawl until he saw the deep drainage ditch cutting under the road.
His heart nearly stopped as he pulled onto the shoulder. His palms went slick on the steering wheel. His pulse raced so hard he was light-headed.
Just a few feet away was Shea. The woman—the angel—who’d invaded his mind. All his doubts surfaced, but all he had to do was open his door and get out. He would have his proof, and until now he’d had no idea how badly he wanted her to be real.
He needed her.
Needed to touch her. Needed to hold her. Needed to keep her safe.
He grabbed his flashlight, his gun, and scrambled out of the jeep. His feet skidded along the gravel and then he headed down the sharp incline.
“Shea?”
It felt weird to be speaking to her aloud. Her name came out hoarse and unsure. His grip tightened around his pistol when he heard a slight sound from within the culvert.
He shone the light inside as he raised the gun. He was met by wide, frightened eyes. His heart damn near exploded out of his chest. She was real. It was her.
“Shea, it’s me, Nathan. ”
She raised her arm to shield her eyes from the light, and he yanked it down so the culvert would be illuminated but she wouldn’t be blinded.
She tried to push herself upward, but she fell and bumped her head on the side of the culvert. He shoved the gun back into the holster then crawled inside, ducking low, and when he reached her, he did what he’d been dying to do from the moment she first slipped into his mind.
He grabbed her into his arms and molded her tight against his chest. She let out a small sigh and melted into his embrace, her body so soft and warm against him.
“You came,” she whispered. “You came. ”
“I’d never leave you alone. ”
He stroked her hair and tried to calm his racing heart. She was real. She was here in his arms. He couldn’t even take it all in.
Remembering where they were and that he needed to get her to a safer place, he carefully eased backward, putting enough distance between them that he could take her hand.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get you out of here. ”
She gripped his hand, her fingers digging into his palm. She clung to him like he was her lifeline, but in fact she was his. He eased out of the culvert, one hand holding hers, the other cupped over her head to keep her from hitting it on the way out.
Once outside, she eased upward on unsteady feet. He quickly shone the flashlight beam over her to check for injuries. He frowned when he got to her feet. Her bare, scraped-up, bruised feet.
With a muttered curse, he pocketed the flashlight and then swung her into his arms to carry her up the incline to the jeep.
She didn’t make a sound the entire way. She laid her head on his chest and burrowed into his hold. She clutched his shoulder like she was afraid he’d disappear.
He put her down long enough to throw his gear in the back and then he put her into the passenger seat, securing the seat belt around her. For a moment he stood staring down at her, awed by the fact that she was in front of him. Real. Tangible. Not in his head.
Her blond hair was bedraggled and lay limply against her head. Her blue eyes were dull with fatigue. She was dirty and disheveled, and he’d never seen a more beautiful woman in his life.
He reached out to softly caress her cheek, unable to resist the opportunity to touch her once more. She closed her eyes and slid her cheek over his palm as if she found as much pleasure in his touch as he did in touching her.
The sound of a distant car dragged him abruptly back to awareness. He slammed her door shut and bolted around to the driver’s side. He pulled onto the highway seconds later and directed the jeep into the town of Crescent City.