*BUTTSCRATCH ROAD OR BUST*
Izzian followed his new pretend parents as they made their way over to an old, rusty van that had been mysteriously stashed just next to their landing site. Izzian helped Gala remove various camouflaged colored nets, tree limbs and leaves that had been piled atop the van to help conceal it from curious eyes.
Izzian thought the van itself already had the best disguise; it was faded and looked as if it had been pieced together like an old quilt. No one looking at the jalopy would suspect that it actually ran.
"Well, that's just about everything," Enot said as he wiped the sweat from his brow after checking the van's cargo yet again.
Enot's Plascreen Inoculation Surveyor machine barely fit into the back. Izzian wondered why Enot didn't just shrink the massive hunk of metal.
"Why not just zap your big machine Enot? Wouldn't it be easier just to shrink the thing, rather than lug it all the way home?" Izzian felt useless and confused and decided he had several more questions to pose to his elders; things that he probably should have studied on the way to earth. It had been so much easier to sleep.
Enot rolled his eyes and sarcastically replied, "We can't just go around shrinking everything, Izzian. The Gratified Speed was built to accept a shrink and disintegrate command. If I could use the shrink and disintegrate command on anything I wanted, I would have used it on your mouth long ago."
"Ha ha," Izzian said dryly.
"So who parked this old van here?" Izzian asked as Enot pushed a button on the remote control, and the remainder of Gratified Speed 1213 disintegrated into nothingness.
"Please clarify," said Enot.
"Well, I just saw our ship disappear and there just happens to be a van parked right near our landing spot. I dunno, it all seems preplanned or something," Izzian had tried to "clarify".
"First of all, matter doesn't just disappear," Enot said condescendingly, "When we shrink something, matter simply changes form, like ice into water. That's a universal comparison even Izzian here might understand."
Izzian ignored the blow, realizing that Enot would have very little patience for questions from anyone, much less himself, so he eighty-sixed his queries. He had learned not to ask a stupid sounding question that he should already know the answer to in Enot's opinion.
Plus, he was exhausted both mentally and physically from the trip and the fiascos of the day. His questions could wait for another day when he needed ammunition to annoy Enot.
But Enot was still showing off, and the elder kept rattling out facts that Izzian should already know.
"You should already know these answers. As for your other question, yes things have been preplanned," Enot said even more condescendingly. "Since your mind can apparently only hold small amounts of information, I'll remind you of protocol."
Gala noticed Izzian's anger resurfacing and interrupted, "Remember, Izzian, the elders on Klesia plan Goodwill Projects far in advance. Klesia also has a network of citizens stationed throughout the universe as undercover humans. You will never know the difference between humans and Klesians, if you are lucky. We knew the van would be here, but we will never know who planted it here."
Izzian did begin to recall some of his earlier training, but was disturbed at the thought of rogue aliens wandering the planet. It made him uneasy that he'd never even know who they were; or if they were watching him. He shivered at the thought.
Gala placed her hand on Izzian's shoulder and said, "Relax, they probably don't live anywhere near Sudden Bluff. The hidden aliens are only on earth to help with expeditions such as ours. Also, the Council of Interplanetary Consortiums needs to keep an eye on the universe. If someone on earth eventually gets proof of life in outer space, the CIC needs a representative present to… handle the situation. If we were to be discovered, it would most likely cause a widespread panic. Earthlings are not well known for accepting the unusual."
Gala shrugged and added, "It's all pretty top secret to someone in my field. But imagine an entire planet suddenly discovering there is life out in the universe, all over the place. Can you imagine the massive freak-out that might cause?"
Gala kept gabbing, but Izzian was miles away. He visualized being exposed as an alien by an angry mob of humans. He shuddered. Before his eyes, he saw images of enraged earthlings with pitchforks in hand, chasing a little green man through the streets.
He shook his head in an attempt to remove the terrifying hallucinations. The images were still there. The angry mob had caught the little alien and had him roasting over an open fire.
His plascreen had done that. At that moment, Izzian made a pact to never access his crazy acting plascreen unless it was totally necessary. My plascreen has gone rogue, he thought, and developed a bad attitude. I am actually fearful of my plascreen…
Gala droned on, "By the way, have I ever mentioned my own Goodwill Project? Well, when I was your age, I focused on Equaiiquintessence in adolescence, and my project subject was really quite introverted, so it was difficult to get her to open up…"
Gala rambled on about her Goodwill Project, but of course Izzian was too distracted to pay much attention. That and he didn't care. Rather than stand around listening to Gala babble, he hopped in the back of the van and pretended to help Enot.
Izzian checked each item stashed in the van while Gala delivered a speech about the Raging Slunt Notte tribe she'd lived with for a year. The term "Raging" Slunt Notte was contradictory to the appearance of the creatures. They looked like loosely formed blobs of transparent oatmeal, but they could move quickly if needed.
She spoke about helping the tribe learn how to weave baskets and sell them at market. "Only, that didn't work out so well, because the Slunt Nottes tend to ooze this sticky slime. The baskets were covered in the disgusting stuff and no one wanted to buy them. Well, it turned out that the slime eventually hardened and became this exceptionally tough plastic-like material. And, thanks to me, the Slunt Notte baskets are known all over the universe as the toughest, most indestructible baskets ever made. I'm trying to patent a few other things constructed of Slunt Notte slime, on the side."
Enot caught Izzian's attention and rolled his eyes. Enot whispered, "Once she gets started, she never stops. I feel sorry for the Slunt Notte tribe that had to deal with her for a year."
Izzian chuckled and realized he may eventually have an ally in Enot. Who knew? Crazier things had happened, like his plascreen discovering it wanted to be a comedian when it grew up.
"1313 Butterscotch Road, that's our new address. Let's go home," said Enot, climbing out of the van's cargo hold.
Izzian headed for the driver's side in an attempt to exert control of the wheel, but was quickly dismissed to the back seat. He decided that some things never changed, at least until one was old enough to drive.
***