Chapter 11
Toni
If I was smart, I would've stayed home.
Or I’d have called my dad and talked to him about coming to work at the company for a while. I wasn't any good with electricity like my dad or Deacon or Franky, but I could file invoices, take and make calls, and it wasn’t like I couldn’t learn fast.
That had been one of Deacon's points when suggesting the personal assistant gig to begin with. My intelligence should've been an asset with pretty much anything I wanted to do, but I was beginning to suspect I was lacking in the common sense area.
Case in point, was I taking my own advice about work?
Nope.
I was on my way over to the Lang house, and I had no doubt I’d see Ash. He hadn’t gone into work since Isadora disappeared. I couldn't say I blamed him. If something happened to one of my brothers, I wouldn't want to go to work either. No, actually, I would work, because I'd never be able to just sit and do nothing.
Then again, I didn't think Ash was doing nothing. I was pretty sure he was spending quite a bit of his free time drinking. The man was a mess, and not just because of the way he was acting around me. In his shoes, controlling an empire worth millions or billions, it probably didn't sit well not being able to control things.
She wasn’t my family and I hated not being in control.
I tugged at the trim black pants I’d pulled on, paired with a simple white tunic shirt. The clothes were plainer than what I normally wore, and they hid my body well. So well that I'd almost turned around twice so I could change, prove to myself that I didn't need the armor.
Then again, Ash was being an ass, and if I needed some sort of armor to protect myself around him, then fine. He was the one freaking out about the other night, not me. I’d...loved what we'd done. I could come to crave it.
With somebody else, of course. No way, no how, was I going to subject myself to that kind of shit with him again. I was done with making stupid decisions. I was so...done.
Tired already, I started up the subway steps. Even though I still had a good block or so to walk before I reached the house, it was already so much quieter here. This part of New York was like a world away from what I knew. The only thing that seemed the same were the taxis and even at this time of morning, at the tail end of rush hour, the yellow cars that swarmed around the streets of the city like hornets seemed to be a little less...swarmy here. Except I knew that just because the place was wealthy didn't mean it was any better than the place I'd grown up.
Isadora had been targeted, in part, because of her money. These walls and that money didn’t promise any more peace or security because of it. Or despite it.
The steps up to the Lang house seemed more daunting than normal, and when I went to knock, my palms were damp. I resisted the urge to swipe them down my pants. Relief flooded me as Doug was the one to open the door instead of Ash. Not really a surprise, but still a relief.
I eased inside as he nodded at me.
The quiet of the house wrapped around me like a tomb. “Has there been anything new?” I asked, my voice a bare whisper.
“No.” He gave a somber shake of his head. “If there is, rest assured I'll call you. You have my word.”
Impulsively, I kissed his cheek.
He blushed red. “Thank you.”
And then I realized he was staring at me. And probably what he was remembering. Now I was the one blushing as I realized one very unintentional consequence of my previous impulsiveness.
This could quickly become very embarrassing.
But all he did was give me a soft smile. “You know you don't need to keep coming out here,” he said quietly. “It's kind of you. You're a good friend to Isadora. But this isn't your responsibility.”
“This isn't about responsibility.” I shrugged. “I'm not sleeping very well at night. I'm worried for her.”
I might have said something else, but the hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I realize Doug and I were no longer alone. He was here. I had no desire to give Ash any more of my attention. He had already taken too much of it. I reached out and caught Doug's hand, giving it a quick squeeze.
“I heard back from some of the contacts Isadora wanted me to reach out to, so I'm going to try to see if I can get a little bit more work done on that project she put me on.”
“Of course.” He nodded at me. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
The look he gave me as he turned to walk away looked strangely sympathetic. As if he knew Ash wouldn’t let me simply ignore him.
“Why are you here?” Ash asked as Doug left the room. The question was surly.
“What do you think?” I shot him a sour look as I pulled the strap of my purse over my head and put it down on the nearest table. Without bothering to look at him, I moved over to the desk where Isadora kept the laptop we worked on.
As I moved, I was acutely aware of Ash’s gaze locked on my back. I almost called out for Doug, thinking that having him around would be useful. I could lie, say I was hungry and ask him to fix me something to eat. But I wasn’t a coward. I never had been. I wasn't going to let Ashford Lang turn me into one.
Dropping down into the chair behind the desk, I glanced over at Ash. He stood in the doorway, wearing casual clothes that looked entirely not casual on him. That long, sexy frame could wear just about anything. It didn't seem fair. His hair was rumpled, reminding me of how it felt to fist my hands in it the first night we were together.
“Yes?” I forced myself to look directly at him. I just hoped I could keep my voice cool enough to get through this conversation.
“Why are you here?” he asked again. “You spent most of last week fussing around and not doing much of anything.”
“I spent most of last week finishing up what I could do with the information I had,” I replied in as bland a voice as I could manage. “Since then, however, I received information back on the queries I’d sent out for Isadora, so now I can get a little more work done. She did hire me to do a job. The job is still there and I'd like to have some progress to report when she gets back.”
Ash reached up and rubbed at his jaw. It was rough with stubble. His eyes were heavy-lidded, and the overall look was of a man who had just rolled out of bed. I doubted that was the case. I didn't think he had been sleeping all that much since Isadora disappeared. Although he had slept the other night...
Don't think about that, I told myself.
Thinking about our time together was the absolute worst thing I could do. Under his gaze, I could feel the tension growing inside me and I had to resist the urge to squirm on the chair. Heat gathered inside my belly, a burgeoning inferno, and I knew I needed to get it under control. The man was too observant about certain things. I didn't want him knowing anything about what I was thinking.
Of course, he knew anyway. An answering flare of heat lit his eyes and he came closer. He stopped in front of the desk and leaned forward, bracing his hands on the edge. He gave me a wicked smirk. “You rushed out of here so fast yesterday morning. Now here you are, already back. You looking for more, Toni?”
It wasn't easy for me to be stunned into silence, but he'd managed it.
I wasn't shy, and I wasn't particularly naïve. Plus I had four brothers who'd made it their business to try to embarrass me, especially around cute guys. I'd learned early on how to brush things off. But Ashford Lang had just managed a near impossible feat. For a span of maybe fifteen seconds, I couldn't utter a single word.
Then anger burned away the shock. Shoving up right, I glared at him across the desk. “You are a monumental asshole. You know that, Ashford? An asshole. You're also an arrogant son of a bitch!” He opened his mouth to say something, and I held up a hand. “No! You don't get to talk to me that way!”
The look on his face was almost laughable. I doubted he'd had a lot of people in his life who'd raised their voices to him.
But I was too mad to be amused just then.
I kept goi
ng. “You don't get to talk right now. You had a chance when I walked in the door and you decided to be a dick about it. It's my turn to talk. I'm not your employee or subordinate. And I'm sure as hell not here for a booty call. You want to be freaked out about what happened? That's your problem. But you're not gonna talk to me like I'm one your little subs from the club. I'm not gonna put up with it, do you hear me?”
He stared at me, eyes glittering. Then, as I was bracing myself for what was bound to be one ugly argument, he turned on his heel and walked out. I sat in my chair and blew out a breath.
Yeah. No doubt about it. I might've had an IQ that was up there in the stratosphere, but sometimes I really wasn't all that smart.
Chapter 12
Ash
I took a shower. I lingered a little longer than normal because seeing Toni did what it always did and I wasn't about to walk down there with a hard-on. And I couldn't leave because I'd planned to stay home in case there was another phone call. Not that it was necessary since I had already arranged for any calls to be directed to my cell phone. But I felt more in control if I was actually here.
However, if Toni was here, I couldn't be. I couldn't even be in the same fucking house, no matter how far away she was from me. I could feel her.
Yet I didn't want to tell her to leave. She was here for Isadora and it felt...right. It felt right that somebody else was here for my sister. I couldn't tell her to leave. Besides, some crazy part of me liked knowing she was here. It was that same stupid part of me that had enjoyed waking up with her in my bed.
It had nothing to do with common sense, and everything to do with some base instinct that I didn't even know I possessed. The same base instinct that had me locked in my shower while I fantasized about the woman downstairs.
I dragged my hand up and down my cock, imagining that I had Toni in front of me. On her knees. Her hands tied behind her back, those wide blue eyes staring up at me as I slowly fed my cock into her mouth. She was so good at it...and she enjoyed it. My penis jerked in my hand and I gritted my teeth.
Thinking about her had me coming quick, maybe too quick, because I wanted to draw it out. But it was over and done in minutes, and then the shower was washing away the evidence. I hadn't come that fast since I'd been a teenager. Frankly, it was annoying.
Yet another reason to get the hell out of the house and stay out while Toni was here.
Less than thirty minutes after she'd arrived, I was jogging back down the stairs, dressed in a suit and ready to go to work. Well, not particularly ready, but I was going anyway. I doubted I would get much done at the office, but if I stayed here, I knew I'd say more things to Toni that I didn't necessarily mean.
Or I'd do things that I'd end up regretting.
I’d definitely enjoy them at the moment, and I was already itching to do them again, but all of this had to stop.
A relationship with her just wasn't possible. I didn't have sex with employees, and while she wasn't my employee, she was close enough that it just wasn't going to happen again.
And I didn't do relationships at all. Not in years. Not since...
I paused at the door, and no sooner had I stopped she looked up. An eyebrow rose. The look in them was so icy, it was a wonder frost didn't fill the room.
“Yes?” she asked coolly.
If I'd thought her eyes were cold, then her voice was doubly so. An apology came to my lips, but I grabbed it back. It was better this way. I'd been a jerk, and I knew it, but keeping distance between us was for the best.
“Are you planning on being here for most of the day?” I asked.
“Why?”
There was no softness left in her now, no humor, no gentleness, no understanding. She managed to pull off the business-like exterior that I'd been struggling, and failing, to find.
There was absolutely no emotion to her right now and I hated it.
She picked up her phone and studied it. Hardly anybody wore a watch anymore, except those smartwatches. It was always the phone. Toni pursed her lips as she continued to gaze at the screen although what took so long to judge the time, I had no idea. Then she shrugged.
“I’ll be here until mid-afternoon at least. Unless...” she paused and arched her eyebrow. “You would rather I leave, Mr. Lang.”
She said my name mockingly, somehow managing to turn it into an insult. I had no idea how she did that. She could probably tell me I was the best fuck she’d ever had and she’d still manage to pull off that snide, insulting tone.
“You don’t need to leave.” I slid my hands into my pockets. If I didn’t keep them occupied, I was likely to wrap it around her neck and throttle her. Or something worse. “Actually, I need you here, if you don't mind. Since you’re already occupied with...well, occupied, I have to go into the office. I need somebody by the phone.”
I didn’t really need somebody by the phone, but I’d feel better if somebody was here. Somebody besides the staff. They all cared about Isadora too, but it wasn’t the same thing. And since she'd already talked to the kidnapper...
“Are you expecting a call?”
I opened my mouth, then snapped it shut. In the few seconds between her comment and the time I forced myself to calm down, I saw the glint in her eyes. She was going to twist that knife as much as she could. I’d bet my left nut that she knew exactly what the problem was, exactly why I was being such an ass.
“Are you able to stay or not?” I kept my voice calm this time, casual. If she could pull of that ice princess routine, I could manage some control myself.
“As I already said, I’m available until mid-afternoon.”
With a terse nod, I turned and left.
As I walked to my car, I couldn’t stop from thinking just why in the hell she had to leave by mid-afternoon. She never had to leave at a specific time when she’d been here with Isadora.
Was she meeting someone? A male someone? Who wasn't her brother? A man who wouldn't treat her like...
I shut the thought down before it could finish. It didn’t matter. The vicious tug of denial and envy was already there.
I didn't want there to be another man in her life.
***
“What do you think, Ashford?”
It took me a good thirty seconds to realize he’d been speaking to me.
He being one Anton Phillips. He was the son of the man who owned the law firm that represented Phenecie-Lang on all fronts and they’d come by to talk to me about...something.
I hadn’t been able to hold a thought in my head all day.
Every time I closed my eyes, it was like I saw a giant calendar and the days that had passed since Isadora had disappeared were slowly being X’d off with a blood red marker.
Over and over.
The marker would hit today and then it would start all over again.
How was this happening?
And why was I here?
As Anton opened his mouth again, I held up a hand. “Look, I don’t think now is the ideal time for this meeting.” We’d kept Isadora's kidnapping from the media, and I planned on continuing down that road as long as I could, but I needed something. “My head isn’t on the job today, Anton. I've had family issues going on recently and, to be honest, I shouldn’t have even come in.”
This time, it was Anton's father who stopped him from speaking.
Brooks Phillips was the reason I continued to use the firm. Once he was gone, I’d find someplace else, because I just didn’t like Anton. I had to wonder how a man like Brooks had managed to raise a kid as spineless and useless as Anton. But then again, my parents had raised a total bastard – me – and a total sweetheart – Isadora.
And, of course, it was her who'd been taken.
“Are you feeling well, Son?” Brooks asked, his voice gentle.
Usually, I didn't let people call me 'son,' but with Brooks, I didn't mind. He didn't say it in a condescending way.
“I’ve been better, Sir.” I managed a tired smile as I stood up from behind t
he desk. I went around to shake his hand before looking at Anton. “I know you’ve got your heart set on me endorsing this charity event, but I need to look at it harder and I just can’t right now.”
It took a few more minutes to get them out of there. It took even less for me to wrap up what little I had going on. I couldn’t pretend to work anymore.
I wanted to go home. I wanted to see Toni, assuming she was even still there. But I couldn’t do that. I’d wedged some distance between us and it needed to stay there.
I’d go to the club. If nothing else, I could find a Sub and burn off some of this restless energy.
Chapter 13
Toni
“The clock strikes four, he’ll walk through the door and then he’ll call me a whore...”
I made up a nonsensical tune to the beat of Hickory Dickory Dock as I checked one more thing off my list.
It was edging up on three-thirty and Ash was usually home by four. I wanted to finish up before then so I could be ready to go as soon as he stepped inside. I didn’t want to have another confrontation.
Well, part of me did. Part of me wanted to go head to head with him, challenge him, make him back down. But I was afraid if I kept pushing things, I'd be the one backing down. Not just about how rude he was, but about everything.
He’d pushed me away, then he’d reached for me. I knew that's how things would go if I faced off with him. He’d do it again and again. And I’d take him back again and again.
And I’d grow to hate myself because of it.
I had too much self-respect for that.
I had to get out of here.
Gathering up my files and notes, I took a few minutes to document everything that had been done. When Isadora came back, she’d want to know, and I was going to make sure she didn’t miss out on anything.
Soon, I thought.
She’d come soon.
She had to...right?
On my way out, I lingered at the door a few moments longer than normal. But I wasn’t really waiting for him.
That was what I told myself. I didn’t believe it, though.
***