That brings a smile to my face. “Have I told you how awesome you are?”
“I am awesome,” she agrees. “And because of how awesome I am, I thought you could do with some cheering up after this morning. You know…” She pulls out a huge chocolate muffin from behind her back.
“Ah, I take it back. You’re not awesome. You’re spectacular.” Reaching over, I take the coffee and muffin from her. I put the coffee down on the desk but keep hold of the muffin.
“Also, I thought I should let you know that the pop princess is here,” she tells me in a quiet voice.
Even though, I knew it was likely that Sienna would be here with it being race day, I was praying to the gods that she might not turn up. I’m not up to seeing any more public displays of affection today.
Grumbling to myself, I take a huge bite out of the muffin.
Ah, chocolate spongy goodness. Nothing beats it.
“Where is she?” I ask through my mouthful of muffin.
“Up in hospitality, and surprise, surprise, she’s being a bitch. She talked to me like I was a piece of crap because I put semi-skimmed milk in her tea instead of skimmed milk. I mean, the horror of it!” she says with dramatic flair.
I laugh.
“I should have spit in it, the cow.”
Nodding, I take another bite of muffin. “This is so good,” I mumble. “You want some?” I offer it to her.
“No, thanks. You need it more than I do. Just don’t come upstairs if you don’t want to run into her, okay? I can’t see her coming down here.”
“God, yeah, she wouldn’t want to be around us lowly mechanics.” I slap a hand over my mouth as I spray crumbs from it, some hitting Petra. “Oh God! Sorry!” I snort a laugh through my hand, trying to keep the muffin in.
“You’re seriously gross.” Petra chuckles, brushing crumbs from her top. “You’ve got chocolate on your cheek as well, you tramp.”
I rub at my cheek with my arm. “Gone?” I angle my cheek to her.
She gives it a quick look. “Yep, you’re good. Just make sure you look in a mirror when you’re finished with it, yeah?”
I give her a thumbs-up as I take another bite.
“So, we going out tonight?” she asks, resting her back against the desk.
“Er…I don’t know. Probably not. I’m still recovering from last night.”
“You say that now, but when Carrick wins today, you’re gonna want to celebrate.” Her face drops when she realizes what she’s said.
I lift my hand, stopping her from apologizing, and I give her a reassuring smile. “You’re right. I probably could do with going out. And it will be good to celebrate when Carrick wins.”
“Attagirl. Well, I best get back upstairs. I’ll catch you later.”
Turning back to my desk, I put the half-eaten muffin down and take a sip of coffee, clearing the sponge from my mouth.
“Hey, don’t I get a coffee?” That’s Robbie calling to Petra.
“Sorry, only one pair of hands, and they were full.” She gives me a wink, walking backward.
“You heard of these things called trays?”
“You heard of these things called legs? Use them if you want something. You know where I am.” With a bounce in her step, she turns and jogs up the stairs.
“What do you have that I don’t? Aside from the obvious,” Robbie says, letting his gaze drift to his crotch.
God, he’s acting like a total dickhead today. Normally, I can put up with his weirdness, but today, I just really don’t feel like tolerating him.
“I don’t know, Robbie. Maybe this thing called a personality.” I turn away, but something in me isn’t done. I feel all fired up, and I guess all the stress and sadness inside of me just wants to come out on him.
I spin my stool back around. “You know, if you want to shag Petra so bad, then why don’t you stop acting like such a twat all the time and be nice for a change? She might actually be interested in you if you did.”
His face reddens. I’ve embarrassed him.
The thing about embarrassing a man in front of other men is that they come out fighting, and they fight dirty.
“You mean like you did with Carrick? Don’t think we all don’t know that you’ve been polishing his dick. And now, he’s fucked you off for something far better, and you’re all bitter and twisted up about it.”
I feel my throat close up, and my eyes start to sting.
Don’t cry. Don’t you dare bloody cry, Andi Amaro.
And, really, what can I say to that? He’s right-ish.
“What the fuck is going on?”
My eyes swing to the sound of Carrick’s hard voice. He’s standing at the bottom of the stairwell, and he looks mad—no, scrap that. He looks livid.
At first, I think he’s talking to me, but then I see his eyes are trained on Robbie.
“Nothing,” Robbie stammers. “We were just—”
“Don’t bullshit me. I heard what you fucking said. Saying shit like that will get you in big trouble.” Storming over to the pinboard, Carrick snatches a piece of paper from it, not even removing the pin, which drops to the floor.
I’m stock-still my seat. He hasn’t even looked at me yet.
I’m wondering if it’s my turn next, but then he starts to walk away, and I let out the breath I was holding.
That’s quickly sucked back in when Carrick stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns around. He strides over to Robbie with angry determination.
I’m frozen in shock, not sure what to do. Neither are any of the guys. And I’m guessing Robbie thinks the same. We’re unsure of what’s going to happen.
When Carrick stops inches from Robbie’s face, fists clenched at his sides, I actually wince, fearing that he’s going to hit Robbie.
Robbie stumbles back a step.
“You’re an annoying little prick, Robbie, and I’m sick of your shit. Pack your crap, and get the fuck out. You’re fired.”
“Wh-what?” Robbie chokes out.
Carrick takes another menacing step forward, leaving no space between them. “Are you deaf as well as stupid? I said, you’re fired, so get the fuck out!” Then, he turns on his heel and storms out of the garage.
There’s a moment of horrified silence.
My wide eyes swing to Robbie, who’s just standing there, looking shocked to hell.
Then, my body springs into action. Jumping from my seat, I sprint across the garage, heading for the stairs. I start quickly climbing them.
“Carrick!” I call out to his back as he nears the top step.
He stops and slowly turns to me.
I take a few more steps up, closing the gap between us. “Please reconsider firing Robbie. He might be a twat at times, but really, that was my fault. Honestly, I started it. I wound him up about something that’s none of my business. I was a bitch, and he was just biting back. If anyone should be fired, it’s me.”
He stares at me for a long moment, his expression tight, brows knitted together.
Then, I see his face relax, something warm passing through his eyes.
He shakes his head. “Robbie berates you in front of everyone. Then, you come running after me to plead his case, and you offer up your own job instead of his?”
I walk up a step. “I never claimed to be bright.” I tip my lips up into a half smile.
A hint of a smile touches his eyes, and then he turns serious again. “He ever talks to you like that again, and he’s gone.”
I blow out a breath. “He won’t. Thank you.”
Our eyes catch and hold, and the air between us suddenly becomes thick and electric.
I see it explode in his eyes at exactly the same time it does in mine—memories of Barcelona. Me in his arms…him inside me.
He takes some steps down, bringing him closer to me. He holds my stare the whole time. My stomach is flipping like an acrobat.
He stops a step away from me.
My heart starts to beat out of my chest.
“I miss y
ou.” His voice is so low, so filled with meaning, that it grabs a tight hold of me.
I part my lips on a breath to speak—
“Carr!”
I blanch at the sound of Sienna’s voice.
Carrick’s eyes lift to the ceiling, and he lets out a sound of annoyance.
The moment is broken.
I take a step down away from him. “I should let you go. And I need to get back and let Robbie know that he still has a job.”
Carrick stares at me for the longest second and then gives a sharp nod. He turns, taking the stairs up two at a time.
“There you are,” Sienna’s voice says. “I was getting lonely without you.”
I stop listening and jog down the rest of the stairs, my heart racing the whole time.
“I miss you.”
When I get back to the garage, Robbie is still there, still looking shell-shocked. A few pairs of eyes lift to me, Robbie’s included.
I walk over to him. “You’re good. You still have your job.”
He blows out a relieved breath. “Shit…thanks, Andi.” He drags a hand through his hair. “Look…I’m real sorry about what I said.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I wave him off. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said what I did about Petra.” I’m going to owe her an apology, too.
“Well, whatever. You saved my arse, so first drink is on me tonight, okay?” He holds his fist out to me.
“Okay,” I say, giving him a fist bump.
The race is fraught with tension for me, especially when Carrick blows a tire and comes into the pit. The guys quickly get it changed and have him back out on the track.
But after that, I can’t take my eyes from the screens. My heart is in my mouth for the rest of the race.
Petra gets a little time off from the kitchen and comes down to watch the race with me. I should take a break, I even need the restroom, but I’m too afraid to move in case anything happens.
Then, I start to feel sick, wishing that I had told Carrick that I miss him, too. Wishing that we were okay, back to how we used to be before Barcelona. Then, all of these terrible scenarios begin to play out in my mind, and in each one of those scenarios, I lose him permanently.
I suddenly feel hot, and the room spins.
“Hey, you okay?” Petra touches my arm.
I turn my face to her.
One look at me, and she’s saying, “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.” Then, she’s leading me out of the garage with her arm threaded through mine.
Instead of taking me to the restroom, she takes me up to Carrick’s private room. Oddly, being surrounded by his stuff, I start to feel a little better.
She sits me down and gets me a drink of water.
“Thanks.” I curl my fingers around the plastic cup and take a sip of the chilled water. “I don’t know what happened. I just felt a bit weird.”
I don’t go into the fact that memories of my father’s crash were bleeding into a vision of Carrick dying in exactly the same way.
There’s a knock at the door, and it pushes open, revealing Uncle John.
His eyes go to Petra and then back to me. “I saw you dipping out. You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good.” I smile to reassure him.
His eyes flick to Petra again. I know he’s cautious to say anything in front of her.
“Petra knows…about my dad, Uncle John. I told her this morning.”
“Good.” He nods. “About time someone else around here knew.” He gives me a smile. “I can’t stay though. I have to get back. I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay.”
“Thanks, Uncle John.”
I stop him just as he’s opened the door. “How’s Carrick doing out there?”
He turns back to me. “Real good.” He smiles big. “He’s still leading.”
That brings a smile to my lips.
I stay with Petra in Carrick’s room for a few more minutes until I feel like myself again, and then we go back down to watch the rest of the race.
It’s still tense for me. But at least I don’t freak out again.
Carrick finishes first.
The relief I feel at seeing him pull into the garage is immense. And the knowledge that he won here in Monaco and how great that will feel for him turns my relief into elation.
When he pulls off his helmet and fireproof balaclava, he climbs out of his car, and his hair is all stuck to his head. He has the biggest smile on his face. He just looks so goddamn beautiful that it makes my heart swell.
He meets my eyes across the garage, grinning at me.
Congratulations, I mouth to him through the crowd of our team as they all jump on him, cheering and celebrating.
But his eyes never leave mine, and when he starts to make his way over to me, pushing past the guys, my heart starts to beat faster, butterflies swarming into my stomach.
Then, I hear an almighty screeching sound, and my head jerks around to see Sienna running across the garage. She launches herself at Carrick, jumping up, and she wraps her long legs around his waist. Her arms around his neck, she plants a full-on kiss on his mouth.
Unable to watch, I look away. Blinking through the sting in my eyes, I quietly make my way out of the garage.
“YOU’RE HAVING A GOOD TIME?” Petra asks, a sway in her stance.
She’s standing before me, drink in hand, looking a little drunk. Well, we all are. We’re in a La Rascasse, a bar that is situated on the famous bend on the Formula 1 track, the bend in which Carrick cornered like the pro he is and brought home the trophy.
We’re all out celebrating the win. Minus Carrick. He had to attend a prearranged sponsorship party. His dad and Uncle John are there, too. So is Sienna.
But I’m not thinking of either of them tonight. I’m out having a good time with my friends.
I was relieved when I found out that Carrick wouldn’t be here as I didn’t want to be forced to spend time around him and the pop princess. Now that I’m out and having fun, I’m finding that I’m missing him. It seems weird to be celebrating his win without him here.
“I’m having a good time.” I smile at Petra.
Then, Ben comes over, stumbling a little, and slings his arms around the both of us. “You girls okay for drinks?”
“I’m good.” I show him my half-full glass. I’ve been going steady tonight, pacing myself, as I know it’s going to be a long night, and I’m already feeling a little tipsy.
“I’ll have another, and so will Andi,” Petra informs Ben.
Ben shoots a look at me in question. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Petra with her you-will-have-another-drink face on.
“Okay. Looks like I’m having another drink.”
I down the one in my hand, wincing at the burn. I’m on double vodkas and lemonade—hence, the pacing, but I guess that’s out the window now.
Petra gives a little cheer, clapping her hands, as I put my empty glass down on the nearby table.
I follow them both over to the bar.
“So, what are we having?” Ben asks.
“Shots!” Petra yells out.
I flash a look at Ben, who grins and shrugs his shoulders.
“Looks like we’re having shots,” I mutter.
Not that it matters what I say as Petra is already leaning over the bar, and she has grabbed the attention of the barman, placing her drink order.
I honestly don’t know how she does it. It’s heaving with people in here tonight, but every time she goes to the bar, she gets served straight away. I always have to stand there like a plant, waiting for ages to be served.
I’m going to have to find out her barman-whispering secret.
“So, how are you doing?” Ben knocks his shoulder with mine.
“In general or tonight?” I give a grin.
“Both.”
“I’m great.”
His eyes linger on my face for a little too long, like he’s trying to get a read on me. And he must see something th
ere because he says, “Are you sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure.” I let out a nervous laugh.
“Just…with what happened with Robbie this morning, what he said about you and Carrick.”
I freeze. Then, I kick-start myself back to life. “It doesn’t matter.” I give a halfhearted shrug. “It’s all sorted now.”
Ben gives a slight nod of his head. “It was good of you to sort it out with Carrick, so Robbie could keep his job.”
I shrug again, averting my eyes. “It wasn’t fair for Robbie to lose his job over something so stupid.”
“Yeah, you’re right, but not everyone would have had the balls to go after Carrick and talk him around like you did. It was cool of you, Andi. You’re a good person.”
A wide smile spreads across my face. “I really need to spend more time around Drunk Ben. I always get the best compliments from him when I do.”
Chuckling, he shakes his head, and then his eyes turn serious. “He was right though, wasn’t he?”
“Who?” I give a confused look.
“Robbie.”
The smile slips from my face. I’m pretty sure my color drains away, too.
“Not in how he said it,” Ben clarifies. “But there is something going on between you and Carrick.”
Was.
“Look, you don’t have to say anything,” he continues.
Good, I think. Because the thought of talking about this right now is escaping me. I’m still dealing with the shock that Ben is actually saying these things.
“I just want you to know that I think Carrick is a mug for letting you slip through his fingers. And if you need a mate to talk to…well, I’m your man.” He pats my arm with his hand.
But because I’m me, I don’t want Ben to think badly of Carrick as he hasn’t actually done what Ben thinks he has. Carrick didn’t let me slip through his fingers. What we did, having sex and wrecking our friendship in the process, is on both of us, and now, we’re in some weird place where he’s moved on, but I can’t seem to even though I know I have to.
And well, that one is all on me.
“Thanks.” I clear my clogged throat. “But it’s not like you think.”
“No?” He frowns. “So, if I tell you that Carrick just walked through the door with Sienna in tow, it wouldn’t be a problem for you?”