I just needed to learn more first, study her, discover what she liked and didn’t like, and then maybe go from there.
When I neared the open doorway to the East Salon, multiple voices had me slowing to a halt. None of them were hers, though I knew she had to be inside. I could feel her presence like a drug thrumming through my bloodstream. My body stirred with awareness, making me wish I’d pleasured myself to completion and taken care of all that already.
“…She usually naps for an hour or so when she falls asleep like this in here every morning.”
“So we have time to get these dishes down to the kitchen and back up again before she wakes, you think?”
“I would say so, yes. The poor dear needs her rest. The queen had her up late last night, complaining about the wee princess again.”
A tsking sound followed before the second voice added, “It’s as if no one cares how much energy it takes out of her to grow that child. Those ignorant royals are always demanding her time and attention. She’s always fixing everyone else’s problems. I swear, these naps each morning are the only peace she finds.”
The quiet clink of dishes spilled into the hallway. I had a suspicion the maids who were gossiping inside would come out soon with leftover breakfast trays. I darted a glance around, once again cursing the emptiness of the hall, before I dove behind a knight’s armor display when I heard footsteps approaching.
The two women appeared, one pushing a cart laden with dirty dishes, the other carrying an armful of napkins and tablecloths. I wasn’t hiding well, so if they’d had half a mind to look, I would’ve been spotted immediately. But thank God, they were too busy talking about how messy the king and queen had left their bedchamber that morning to bother glancing around.
Once they had turned a corner and were out of sight, I crept toward the open doorway.
They’d said Vienne was resting, but I was still cautious as I peered into the room.
My breath caught when I found her sitting in her chair with her head canted at an unnatural angle. I wanted to find a pillow to cushion her cheek, make her more comfortable, but that would probably be too risky. I didn’t want to wake her and get caught, plus she needed her rest.
The pull to get closer, however, had me stepping into the room and easing her way. I held my breath once I was a few feet from her, worried she’d wake and find me looming. But she slept on, peacefully and soundly, her lips parted slightly and eyelids pulsing with dreams.
I was watching her dream; it was a humbling, awe-inspiring experience.
Her slim hands had fallen limp in her lap where she’d dropped a wad of yarn and a crochet hook. A nearly finished bootie was dripping off the side of her thigh. I drew in a breath as I took in her simple artwork before I returned my attention to her face.
Her light hair had been piled up on the crown of her head again, making me wonder what it looked like down and flowing around her shoulders. Her cheeks and nose were splashed with small, light freckles, save for three larger, darker ones that underlined her right eye in a straight row. One of her two main top teeth was slightly crooked, giving her a more amiable, personable look than she had from a distance. And a light, one-inch scar marred her left forearm.
Intrigued by every single detail I took in, I pressed closer, trying my luck because I needed to learn more. When a flowery scent filled my nostrils, I closed my eyes and breathed in deep, memorizing her smell. It was sweet and light, not overpowering yet strong enough to fulfill me. I stepped closer still, my shadow falling over her face. My hand shifted just enough to allow the backs of my fingers to barely brush the silken flesh of her bare arm, and a breath escaped me. She was soft. So incredibly soft.
Shifting, she murmured something in her sleep and moved her head to an agreeable-looking angle.
I froze, certain I’d woke her, but she slept on.
Exhaling with relief, I crouched before her so our faces were barely a foot apart. And this…yes, this would give me plenty to remember and envision the next time I pleasured myself. Lady Vienne was a stunning sight to behold. She didn’t dress her beauty up either, like her sister did; she just let her natural enhancements shine through and tell their own story.
I liked that. I liked everything about how she looked. I could easily picture myself laying this woman on a rumpled bed and stripping her bare before I—
“Vienne?” a sudden voice called from the hallway. “Oh, Veeeee…yen? Are you up here?”
The woman in front of me startled awake, her eyes flashing open before she blinked repeatedly and jerked upright.
Shit, shit shit!
As she shook her head and pressed a palm to her brow, she squeezed her eyes closed. It was possible she hadn’t quite seen me yet, that the abruptness of her waking had momentarily blurred her vision. Taking a chance that she hadn’t, I started wildly around the room, searching for a place to hide before I hurtled myself toward the floor-to-ceiling curtains that hung open at either end of the room.
I’d just ducked myself behind one and was breathing hard when someone else entered the East Salon.
“There you are!” It sounded like Princess Nicolette. “Vienne, can you tell that awful sister of yours that I absolutely refuse to take those stupid flute lessons again. I may be a smart, capable girl, but my abilities do not extend to the musical arts. And… And what in the devil are you looking for?”
“I… Nothing,” Vienne sounded half awake and still out of it. “Sorry, I just could’ve sworn I saw… Never mind. It must’ve been a dream or strange shadow crossing my face when I first woke.”
“Hmm,” Nicolette answered, “yes, possibly. It is quite sunny out today, casting shadows everywhere.”
I turned to glance out the window to check the amount of daylight myself, and I nearly pissed my pants. Hiding behind the curtains, I was pressed right up against a massive wall of clear rock, and it looked as if there was nothing between me and the hundred-foot drop out of the top of the keep.
Holy hell, how had I not noticed this view when I’d first stepped into the room? The lure of my one true love must be some powerful shit to draw my attention from a sight like this. Because this… This was truly remarkable.
“So, will you talk to her?” Nicolette was saying on the other side of the curtain. “Please.”
“Oh, sweet Nicolette,” Vienne murmured. “You know it isn’t my place to tell the queen what to—”
“Yeah, whatever,” Nicolette butted in. “Except you can convince her to do anything. I’ve seen you in action. You twist things so that it seems as if it was all her idea in the first place. You’re a master at it and the only one who knows how to handle her. Vienne, I swear, you’re like a queen whisperer or something.”
“Goodness, you make me sound quite manipulative.”
“No, no, you’re not manipulative. Not at all. You’re just…hmm…unassumingly persuasive when it’s for a good cause, and this…this, Vienne, would be a grand cause. Why, you’d be one of the poor unfortunate victims forced to listen to me if Yasmin ever requested I play a song. I mean, do you honestly want to live through such torture? Just think about that.”
I grinned at Nicolette’s overly dramatic argument. But it caused Vienne to draw out a long, tired sigh. “And you say I’m the persuasive one,” she mumbled in a worn voice.
“So, you’ll do it?” Nicolette sounded eager.
“You know she won’t be appeased until you learn to do something she finds acceptable. Hmm. Let’s see. You read quite well, don’t you?”
“Yes, I’m a marvelous reader. Why?”
“Maybe I can suggest you learn to recite poetry instead.”
“Recite poetry?” Nicolette screeched. “Why, that sounds almost as horrid as flute playing.”
“Well, we already know she won’t be satisfied with you reciting your multiplication tables, so it’s either poetry or we’re back to music. Would you rather sing than play the flute? Because I could probably—”
“Good God, n
o! Poetry would be infinitely less humiliating than singing or playing some nasty instrument.”
“Then poetry, it is. I’ll plant the idea in her head the next time I see her.”
“Oh, Vienne. You are the best. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“Yes, well… I believe you’re still supposed to be having your lessons now, aren’t you? So you should probably return to those.”
“Ugh.” Harrumphing out a disgruntled sound, Nicolette mumbled, “I hate my lessons. The tutor is an absolute bore. He’s always telling me what a young lady should and shouldn’t do. I already know perfectly well how to behave, Vienne. It’s as if he thinks I’m only ten or something. It’s such a bother.”
“I suppose you should keep skipping such bothersome lectures then, so he’ll be forced to tell Yasmin that you don’t attend any of your classes, and she’ll, in turn—”
“Dammit, you’re right. He would tell her, wouldn’t he? The terrible snitch. See… There you go, being all unassumingly persuasive again, trying to save me from trouble with the queen.”
Vienne chuckled before demurely answering, “Anything for you, Princess.”
Behind the curtain, I grinned and shook my head. There were hidden depths to this woman, I swear. I had worried at first that people might take advantage of her giving nature, but then I noticed a craftiness about her. She had the heart to share with others yet the intelligence to slyly remove herself from a situation before reaching the point of her own misery. I had to admire that.
Without the mark pointing her out to me, I was almost certain I would’ve overlooked Lady Vienne for a good long while. She had a way of coming across so that others didn’t get too curious about her. But since my mark was making me pay rapt attention, I was quickly growing fascinated. I had a feeling I could learn something new about her every day for the rest of my life and still never truly comprehend everything she had to offer.
As Nicolette bundled from the room, Vienne’s sigh followed. “She’s so impetuous and bright,” she murmured aloud. “I hope you’re like that someday.”
I frowned, wondering who she was talking to. No one else should be in the room, unless… Oh damn, I hope she wasn’t talking to me.
I peered cautiously out the side of the curtain to find her rubbing her stomach and gazing at it wistfully. “I hope you question the world and fight for what you’re passionate about. And I hope you get what you go after.”
A knot formed in my throat as I watched her talk to her stomach and draw shapes across it with her fingers. She was going to be the best mother.
I don’t know why that hurt so much. But it did. It was like a bittersweet, longing kind of pain. It could’ve been because I knew it wasn’t my children she would raise, or maybe it was because I’d never gotten to know my own mother. Allera barely remembered her, so she had few stories she could share, but ones she had told me had all been lovely memories, memories I would never have because I’d killed the woman who’d given birth to me.
It made me wonder if she had ever talked to me before I was born, if she’d dreamed about the kind of person I would become, if she’d be proud of the fact that I was sneaking about and spying on a poor innocent woman who didn’t deserve it.
A sudden shame filled me. I’d been so desperate to learn more about my one true love that I hadn’t even taken into consideration how much she probably wouldn’t appreciate how intrusive I was being.
Swearing to myself that I wouldn’t spy on her again, I lifted my face toward the ceiling and counted down the seconds until Vienne stood and left the room. Then I stole into the hall to return to my own bedchamber. I knew she was ahead of me, I could feel her not far away, but this time I wouldn’t follow her. I wouldn’t—
“Are you following Vienne?”
“Christ!” Jarring to a halt, I cursed fluidly and spun to face the young dark-haired princess who was peering at me from around a corner. “Where the hell did you come from?”
“I was waiting right here for you to pass by. I saw your reflection in the clear rock when you were hiding behind the curtains in the East Salon. So I thought I’d ask why you’re spying on Vienne.”
“I…” I shook my head, at a total loss for words. “I’m not spying on her,” was all I could think to say. Then I fumbled a few more seconds before blurting, “I was just curious about the East Salon. My sister said it had a majestic view, so I went to check it out, only to realize someone else was already in the room when I arrived. I didn’t want to bother her, so...so...”
Nicolette squinted. “So… You decided to hide behind a curtain instead of just telling her that same story you told me?”
“Uh…” Damn. The kid was too smart for her own good. But I’d already started the lie, so I’d see it through to the end, no matter how lame it sounded. Scowling, I muttered, “Yes.”
She blinked at me and then shrugged. “Oh. Okay.”
My shoulders slumped with relief, only for her to start in again, totally changing the subject.
“You didn’t teach me how to play chess last night after supper like you promised you would.” Setting her hands on her hips, she lifted her eyebrows and waited for an apology, or possibly even an explanation.
“Shit,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. “I forgot all about that. Sorry.”
“I figured,” she answered dryly before throwing me for a loop with another drastic change in conversation. “She’s married, you know.”
I frowned, not able to follow her this time. “What?”
“Vienne,” she explained. “She’s married. To my cousin, Soren.”
With a scowl, I muttered, “I’m aware. And to be perfectly clear, I wasn’t spying on her.”
“You just met her too,” Nicolette went on conversationally. “Like two days ago.”
“This I also know,” I said, drawing out the words suspiciously slow because it suddenly felt as if the young princess was adding up pieces to a puzzle she shouldn’t be assembling.
She watched me closely. “I thought you were super handsome when you first arrived. I still do, of course. And for a minute, I even fancied us getting married one day. But then I saw the way you looked at her, and I knew I wasn’t the one for you.” She shrugged. “But it’s okay. You’re probably too old for me, anyway. Plus, you treat me like a kid sister, which takes the romance out of it.”
I opened my mouth, not sure what to say to that, but it turned out I didn’t need to say anything. Nicolette was far from finished.
“Soren wouldn’t like this.” She offered me a sympathetic wince and sighed. “If he found out, he’d fight to get you kicked out of the castle if not outright executed. And Caulder often listens to his advice. It wouldn’t do you any good if anyone found out who your one true love was, so I’ll keep my suspicions to myself… If you agree to truly teach me how to play chess, and actually keep your promise this time.”
I gazed at her, my mouth hanging open. Then I shook my head, simply amazed. “You plan to blackmail me for your silence.”
Flashing me a megawatt smile, she bobbed her head enthusiastically. “Of course.”
Unable to help myself, I laughed. “Goddamn, you’re certainly a manipulative little shit, aren’t you?”
Affecting a prim and proper mien, the princess simply batted her eyelashes. “A manipulative little shit who’s still waiting for her answer.”
Running a hand through my hair, I sighed. “Well, then I suppose I find myself at your service, Princess. I will most certainly teach you the fine art of chess, though I have a feeling you’re already a natural.” She knew how to cage a fellow in quite neatly.
“Good.” Skipping away, she called, “We start tonight. For real, this time.” And then she was gone, disappearing around a corner and humming contentedly to herself as she went.
I stared at the spot she’d just been and realized how close I’d come to exposing everything and probably getting both me and Allera into some very deep trouble.
&nbs
p; That clenched it for me. From here on out, I needed to stay as far away from my one true love as I could get. It didn’t seem as if it would do anyone any good to reveal the truth now.
Chapter 12
Urban
Madness claimed my uncle, Aturro, when he was a mere forty years of age. Father said it was a broken heart that sent him crazy. I never understood how that could possibly affect someone so severely.
Until now.
The need to see her was like a constant itch in my brain. After getting caught following her by the blackmailing princess, I resisted going anywhere near Vienne for a solid week, but my resistance began to run thin.
I paced my room most days, feeling like a wild animal that had been caged and was slowly being starved to death. And she was like my food, my sustenance. As soon as I broke free of this stupid restraint I was implementing on myself, I had a bad feeling I would try to feast on her like a savage beast.
But with that thought rose the fear that I would come on too strong and frighten her in my desperation, scar her permanently, and possibly even endanger her unborn child. So I locked the needs in even tighter.
Except being trapped inside my own head was driving me crazy. The only moments I was able to even begin to alleviate the restlessness I felt were in the evenings when Nicolette forced me to teach her the fine art of chess.
The queen had put a damper on our fun the first few nights when she’d hovered over us like a disapproving hen, but she soon grew bored of our innocent competition. After the second night, she had a servant chaperone us, instead. Last night, she hadn’t even bothered with that, and the game had grown infinitely more entertaining.
Nicolette was lively and full of mischief. She reminded me of Allera. So I quickly grew a brotherly affection for her and started quizzing her on her multiplication and division tables while we played, which brightened her mood around me even more.
Occasionally, she would slip me facts about Vienne, like how Vienne was the one who’d originally taught her the multiplication tables, or that Vienne had shown Nicolette secret tunnels within the castle, or that Vienne and Soren slept in separate rooms… Not that I needed to learn that detail, but I did so love learning that detail.