His attention zipped back to her, where guilt and pain ravaged his features. “Allera…” he started.
But she held up a hand and shook her head. “Just tell me if it’s true. Is that really how he died? You were supposed to go on a scouting mission but he stole your place and went for you?”
Urban hung his head before he mumbled the admission. “Yes. That’s how he died.”
Tears tracked down Allera’s cheeks. “Why didn’t you just tell me? All this time, I thought he died alone, among enemies. I would’ve felt so much better if I’d known you, his best friend, had been there with him, holding his hand as he started his journey to the other side.”
Urban looked up, his eyes wide with shock and pain. “You’re not mad?”
“Mad?” she sneered. “Hell, yes, I’m mad. You could’ve alleviated my worries all these months if you’d simply told me the truth from the beginning.”
“But it was my fault he—”
“Did you stab him in the heart?” Allera demanded.
“Of course not, but—”
“Then it’s not your fault those wicked Lowden bastards killed him, you idiot. Stop carrying around such a stupid pile of guilt. You have enough weighing you down as it is.”
Urban glanced away as if he wasn’t sure what to do with his sister’s forgiveness. I could tell he didn’t want to accept it while in the same breath, hearing it relieved him immensely. But in turning away from her, his gaze caught on me, and he crinkled his brow before spinning back to Allera.
“And how did any of this distress her?”
Allera paused with her mouth half open, guilt written all over her features. Urban instantly frowned. “Sister,” he growled. “What have you done?”
I sat forward to defend my friend, but his voice had caused Anniston to jump in Allera’s arms and let out a squeak of protest.
Urban jerked a step back, reaching for his sword before he halted suddenly, his eyes going wide.
“Is that the baby? Her baby?”
“Well, it’s certainly not mine. I’ve only been married a couple hours. And though I did indeed enjoy my honeymoon night, I believe it takes a bit more time than that to conceive and bear a child.”
“Allera! Really? Must you tell me anything about your honeymoon night?”
I muffled my laugh by covering my mouth with both hands.
“Well, who else can I tell? You and Vienne are the only close, confidential friends I have in Donnelly, and you’re both present, so I see no reason to watch what I say. And seriously, Urban, stop staring at me as if you think I’m going to drop her. I never dropped any of Erick’s children, now did I?”
“Her?” he murmured, his voice fascinated as he slowly inched forward and lifted up on his toes in order to get a peek at Anniston’s face. “So it’s a girl, then?”
“What? Didn’t you know?” Allera sounded shocked. She glanced my way before turning back to him.
He sniffed and shot her a dry glance before returning his gaze to the child. “Why would I know? Everyone seemed determined to keep all information about the child and her mother away from me. And you never bothered to tell me.”
“Well, I… I’m so sorry.” Allera sounded genuinely apologetic. “I guess I didn’t consider that you might be curious about the child.”
“I shouldn’t be,” he muttered. “She’s not mine, after all, but…”
“She’s Vienne’s,” Allera murmured softly, understanding.
“Yes,” Urban said.
At his breathless tone, a shudder of pure longing tore through me.
Urban jerked his alert gaze my way. “I’m sorry.” He rushed the words. “Did that make you uncomfortable?”
It had. A lot. But I shook my head insistently, saying, “Of course not,” because I wasn’t uncomfortable in the way he feared.
I felt uncomfortably flattered that both siblings had been forcing themselves to talk about me as if I weren’t there in difference to my wishes for distance. I felt uncomfortable by how charmed I felt by his interest in my daughter. I felt uncomfortable because I was pretty sure I liked him, no matter how much I really shouldn’t. Every little devoted thing he said about me just reeled me in more. I feared it wouldn’t take much for me to get drunk on this man’s mere presence.
And I worried he could read all that on my face, because he was watching me way too intently.
Backing away, he said, “I should return to training the soldiers,” just as Allera asked, “Do you want to hold her?”
Urban swerved an incredulous glance to his sister and then snorted, shaking his head. “Yes, I’m quite sure her father would just love knowing I was anywhere near his infant right now.”
“Well, her father isn’t here,” I said, making both Allera and Urban veer wide-eyed glances my way. “Just me. Her mother. So I’m asking… Do you wish to hold the child?”
A moment of silence passed. His chest heaved as he stared at me. And then…
“Yes,” he said. “I want to hold her. She’s yours. Of course I want to hold her. This is as close as I’ll ever get to holding my own...”
Allera tsked, shaking her head even as she stood to offer Urban her seat. “You know, it breaks my heart when you say things like that.”
After he sat, and she placed Anniston into his waiting arms, his lips parted with amazement. He gazed down at her as if she were a miracle.
“You’re still alive, Urban, young and healthy,” Allera went on. “You can find someone suitable enough to settle down with, and have children of your own with. That’s what I plan to do, anyway. Why shouldn’t you?”
“Not now, Allera,” he said in a voice that screamed not in a million years just before his tone softened. “My God. She’s perfect, isn’t she? I mean, I’ve seen many an ugly baby in my day, but this one… This one is actually beautiful.”
I frowned. “You sound surprised by that.”
He glanced up, only to grin. “Well, you can’t blame me for fearing I’d see some of her father in her, but…no. No, she has your chin. And the shape of your eyes. Your cheekbones,” he went on, making me blush.
“Well, aren’t you an observant one,” Allera teased. “Knowing Vienne’s chin and eyes so thoroughly after only seeing her from across rooms… Until this very moment.”
Urban sent his sister a harassed glance. After a moment of threatening her with his stare alone, he cleared his throat and changed the subject, “You’re definitely your usual chipper and annoying self this morning, Sister. I’ll take that to mean the new marriage is going well?”
“Yes, actually.” Allera sounded relieved as she plopped into the seat next to mine so that I sat between both siblings and thus felt intimately a part of their conversation. “I believe I’m going to enjoy being married to Brentley. He’s such a dear sweet thing, and you’ll never believe this but…” Her voice went confidentially quieter as she leaned toward both Urban and me, set her hand on my forearm, and whispered, “Last night was his first time.”
“God!” Urban yelped, wincing and pulling his face away. “I don’t want details. Seriously, don’t share them. Ever.”
“And honestly, I quite liked being the experienced one of the two,” Allera went on as if Urban hadn’t asked her to stop talking. She grinned at me as if I should somehow relate. “He was so eager and willing to learn what I liked, it was quite enjoyable to instruct him how to pleasure me.” Letting out a delighted sigh, she shook her head and murmured, “Such an eager, willing student.”
“Dammit, Allera. For the love of God, shut up.”
I covered my mouth to keep in a laugh, even as my face heated with embarrassment. And a little bit of jealousy. Allera sounded as if she’d really had a good time in her marriage bed. I wish I could’ve been able to say the same. At least once.
“I know it’ll probably never be as intense as it was with…” Allera’s voice went sad and her gaze drifted off before she picked up again. “But I think I can be content here. With Brent
ley. I believe I might even grow to love him. He really does have a good heart. Plus, if he continues to bring me to orgasm like he did last night, well… Let’s just say we’ll get along just swimmingly.”
“Oh my God! I’m leaving. I’m just… I’m just leaving now.” But Urban didn’t move. He glanced down at Anniston who’d fallen asleep in his arms, and I could tell he wasn’t going anywhere for a good, long while. He looked too captivated by her to give her up just yet.
“Which means you could find someone who makes you happy, too,” Allera said. “Someone you’ll grow affectionate toward, maybe even somewhat love.”
I nodded my head, agreeing, even as my stomach went sour at the idea. I have no idea why my stomach should care if Urban moved past me and married another, because he and I certainly would never get together, but… Okay, a terrible, vain, selfish part of me liked having a man who spoke about me as he’d spoken about me last night, pledging his life to me as if I…as if I actually mattered to him.
He glanced my way as if he heard my thoughts and knew deep down I didn’t want him to stop worshiping me.
“Please, don’t,” he told his sister quietly, even though his gaze remained on me. “Don’t push about that. It’s still too soon. I just… I don’t want to think about that. Not yet.”
Anniston made a peep, and Urban immediately jumped, looking down at her. “What’s wrong? Is she okay? Did I hurt her?”
Allera’s laugh rang out even as I rose from my chair to fetch the baby if need be. “No, you didn’t hurt her, you big pansy,” his sister teased. “She’s an infant. Infants make noises.”
“You should take her,” he urged, already lifting her to me. The back of his right hand inadvertently brushed my breast as we traded off. We both sucked in a breath and exchanged a glance before simultaneously looking away again.
“There. See,” Allera said as I backed away from Urban and returned to my chair with Anniston in my arms. “Whatever caused her to speak up is fine now.”
“Because she’s with her mother,” Urban insisted before he asked me, “What’s her name?”
I looked up into his eyes and felt overwhelmed for some reason. There was just something about him that was larger than life.
“Anniston,” I answered, feeling completely inadequate.
His blue eyes lit with delight. “A High Cliff name,” he seemed delighted to announce.
My eyebrows crinkled. “Is it really?”
He nodded. “It’s considered good luck in our realm to start our children’s names with a vowel.”
“How interesting. Why’s that?”
A frown wrinkled his brow. He glanced toward his sister before turning back to me. “You know, I haven’t a clue.”
I laughed, mostly from his perplexed expression, and he joined in, shaking his head. “The strange customs kingdoms decide are important, huh?”
With a shrug, I answered, “At least it’s a charming, harmless custom that doesn’t include any sacrifices or bloodletting.”
“True,” he agreed.
We shared another smile before he glanced toward his sister, then cleared his throat and returned a solemn gaze to me. “Well. I was in the field, training. I should probably return.” His gaze went to Anniston one last time. “But before I go, would you grant me permission to swear fealty to your daughter?”
“Fealty?”
“Another custom,” he explained on a rueful shrug. “No sacrifices or bloodletting involved, I promise.”
His eyes were just too damn blue. I couldn’t say no. Bobbing my head stupidly as if under his trance, I murmured, “Okay.”
Immediately, he dropped to one knee before me and bowed his head, slamming his fist against his chest.
“Thank you, my friend, for making your mother happy,” he said in a low, compelling baritone. “Thank you for giving her companionship and love. For that, I swear an oath to you. I will always protect you, always stand between you and any harm that may come your way, always honor you. Until my dying breath, I will strive to keep you safe.”
A tear trickled down my cheek. Not even Soren had been that passionate when he’d first looked upon Anniston. Not that Soren had bothered to even talk to the baby at all, but his comments about her were so very vague, like, “Ehh, well, look at that. It’s a pity; I think she’ll end up the runt of the litter.”
In front of me, Urban rose, his solemn gaze meeting mine. “Thank you,” he said.
I blinked, not sure why I was being thanked. Because I’d let him swear his life to my child? Because I’d actually talked to him and acknowledged him? It was a mystery to me. But I nodded anyway.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
When he turned away, a thought struck. “Wait!” I cried. “Did you say you were training today? In the field?”
He turned back, nodding humbly. “Yes, my lady. Your king has let me organize, train, and lead Donnelly’s army.”
“He did?” I blinked, tipping my head to the side because this was news to me. “Was this before or after he let my husband beat you?”
Urban opened his mouth but didn’t have a ready reply. He glanced toward his sister before returning his attention to me. “They happened pretty much simultaneously, I’d say.”
“Hmm.” A frown knit my brow. “Someday, I’d like to learn exactly what happened that night.”
“Oh, I’d be more than happy to tell you,” Allera said, her eyebrows arching and lips pinching thin with instant anger.
Her brother shot her a warning glance, but I lifted my hand. “But right now I’m more concerned about the fact that you’re being far too active for having a back wound.” Both High Cliff siblings shot me an incredulous glance, until I argued my logic. “It’s only been two weeks. Have you had enough time to heal?”
I could tell Urban had no idea how to answer me, but a moment later, he murmured, “I’m fine.”
With a nod, I asked, “So…the kiss helped heal you as fast as it healed me, then?”
Again, the man seemed to be at a loss for words. But when his sister snorted out a laugh, I glanced between them, feeling ignorant. “Was that a stupid question?”
“No.” Urban immediately shook his head. “Not at all. I just wasn’t expecting you to mention the, uh…the…”
“The kiss?” I asked, glancing between him and a still-tittering Allera. “I don’t see how it’s so scandalous. I remember nothing of it. It feels more like a mythical legend to me, quite unlike the dream about—”
I broke off abruptly, horrified I’d almost mentioned my naughty dream.
Unfortunately, I’m sure he knew exactly what I meant. His grin turned downright lecherous.
As my face heated unnaturally, the irritatingly amused prince actually chuckled. I was so sure he was going to tease me, but all he said was, “No. True love’s kiss wouldn’t have affected the flogging marks. They’re healing on their own. The situation would have to be quite extreme—as in life saving—for one of those kisses to take effect. But if you’d wish to try kissing me better, anyway—”
“No!” I cut him off with a hard glance. “That’s not necessary. I was just… I can express concern for a fellow human being who’s been hurt, can I not?” Starting to feel defensive, I scowled at him.
He merely bowed. “Of course, my lady. But as I told you, I’m fine.”
I turned to Allera. “Fine doesn’t really mean fine, does it?”
Snickering in amusement, she glanced toward her brother. “Usually not. He’s always pushed the limits of his own safety, but he seems to have a knack for coming out okay in the end.”
“See.” Urban motioned her way even as he continued to smile at me. “You heard it straight from the mouth of the person who knows me better than anyone. I’ll be fine.”
“Just don’t overdo it,” I warned, shaking my head. “As the man who just swore fealty to my only daughter, I expect you to remain in the height of health in order to fulfill your duties.”
Everyone kne
w that wasn’t at all why I wanted him healed. I hated the idea that he’d been hurt because of me in the first place, but mostly, I didn’t like seeing anyone in pain.
Okay, fine, I didn’t like seeing him specifically in pain. But I couldn’t admit that aloud.
Urban bowed again. “As you wish,” he murmured, before turning away and strolling from the room.
I watched him go, overwhelmed by the fact that this man belonged to me. He’d basically confessed that I could wield him and use him any way I liked. Maybe that should’ve made me feel powerful and strong, but in truth, it intimidated me.
I didn’t want to use him. I just wanted to learn more about him. He was such an intriguing man. I wanted to know everything there was to know.
And I most certainly wanted to spend more time in his company.
I just had to figure out how to do that without getting him beheaded.
Chapter 24
Urban
The next evening, I felt antsy and unfulfilled; I needed something to occupy my mind. Talking to Vienne, learning more about her, and teasing her had given me a high that had surged through my veins like a drug. But the aftereffects were beginning to wear off.
I wanted more.
What was worse, my body craved sex to the extreme. It’d been too long, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her or dreaming about her.
To combat the itchiness, I decided chess was going to be my vice to alleviate the restlessness this evening. But when I strode into the dining hall, my dueling partner was not present where she usually sat.
I slowed to a stop, frowning at her empty seat.
“Where’s Nicolette?”
Yasmin sent me a catty smile. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Prince Urban,” she didn’t seem sorry at all to inform me, “but you won’t be able to have your little chess game tonight. Nicolette sent a message saying she was feeling under the weather, I’m afraid. She shan’t be joining us for dinner.”
Damn. I’d really needed to trounce someone on the chess board, too.
Sending the queen a tight smile, I said, “No worries. I’ll just have Allera play me in her stead.”