Thank God, tonight wasn’t one of those dreams. When I realized I was looking at the ceiling in my own bedchamber from my own point of view, and everything was too clear to be a dream, I pinched myself.
Yep. Definitely awake. Groggy, but awake.
The distress hit me again. It seeped into my consciousness until I bolted upright, fully alert.
Vienne!
She was unwell.
Not in pain but definitely not happy.
Flinging off the sheets, I landed barefoot on the rug before grabbing a single pair of trousers and tugging them on as I sprang toward the door. Forgoing a shirt and shoes, I hurried into the hall barefoot and jogged toward her wing of the castle.
I didn’t know what was wrong. She wasn’t in pain or necessarily heartbroken or scared, but she was clearly distressed.
Oh, hell. Had the bearer of dark magic gotten to her and bewitched her?
Dammit. I’d forgotten my sword and dagger back in my bedchamber. But I didn’t want to waste time going back for them, so I hurried headlong toward her without thought.
When I drew near enough to hear the distinct wails of an infant, I broke into a full sprint, imagining Vienne lying dead at the foot of her child’s crib—even though I rationally knew she was physically fine, meaning she couldn’t be dead—so when I burst into her room, and found her alive and well, pacing the floor with the babe, I stupidly slumped against the doorframe, drained from the overabundance of relief.
“Holy fuck.” I pressed a hand to my heart. “Thank God you’re okay.”
She turned at my voice, revealing panic and a red face full of tears.
Honestly, I couldn’t tell who was crying harder: her or the child.
“Okay!?” she wailed, clutching the screaming infant to her chest. “You call this okay? I can’t get her to stop. I’m too sleep-deprived as it is. I’ve lost any patience and nurturing instinct I ever had twenty minutes ago, and I just keep having this vision of shaking her until she shuts up. Isn’t that awful? Oh God. I’m so awful. I’m the worst mother ever.” More tears flooded her cheeks as her shoulders began to shake from her sobs. “What kind of monster thinks such things about their own daughter? My baby. My precious little baby.”
The last few sentences were nearly indecipherable through her sobbing hiccups. She wept over the girl, crying for all she was worth, and for some reason it made me smile out a soft laugh.
Yawning, I ran my hand through my hair. “Who thinks such thoughts? Every exhausted parent who’s had to get up in the middle of the night with a cranky child, I suspect.”
Vienne snapped a glare my way. “This isn’t amusing.”
Instantly sobering, I nodded. “I know, my lady. I apologize for smiling.” Pushing away from the door, I strolled toward her. “Where’s your nursemaid? I’d say you need a bit of a break.”
Her scowl only increased, turning petulant. “I don’t have a nursemaid. I should be able to handle this myself. Every mother takes care of her own child. I won’t be any different.”
“My nanny always told me it took an entire village to raise a child,” I offered helpfully, though the words only earned me a glare. “Come now, my lady. No one can handle a baby completely by themselves.” Wincing as I drew closer, I covered my ears and lifted my voice. “Her lungs are quite healthy. That’s one consolation. Does she have any volume control?”
Vienne laughed, only to burst into tears again. “I love her,” she sobbed, lost in her grief. “How could I ever, even for half a moment, think of hurting her when I love her so much?”
My heart broke as I reached out. “Thinking something doesn’t mean you actually would’ve hurt her. You’re drained and at the end of your rope, sweetheart. She knows you love her. You just need a break. Do you want me to hold her for a spell?”
When I held out my hands, Vienne backed away and shook her head violently. She looked wild with her face wet, hair a mess, and eyes shiny and vague from lack of sleep. “No, I should be able to comfort her. Why can’t I just fucking comfort her?”
I nodded, realizing she was going to be a stubborn case. “Then let me comfort you,” I said.
She only blinked at me, clearly not understanding. When I reached for her elbow, she let me take her arm and lead her to the rocking chair.
“I don’t need… What’re you doing?” was all she asked, her expression curious, before I sat in the chair and pulled her down into my lap, while her child settled into hers.
When she tensed in my arms, I murmured, “Shh,” and stroked her hair. “It’s going to be okay, little mama. She can’t cry forever. She’ll wear herself out eventually.”
Another tear trickled down her cheek as she looked into my eyes. “I’ve tried everything. Everything. I’ve fed her, changed her, sang to her, rocked her, walked with her, left her alone in her crib, everything. Now, the crying is just driving me crazy. I need it to stop.”
I nodded. “The sound really does make it feel as if someone is sticking an irritatingly sharp needle right into the center of my brain.”
Sniffing, she nodded too. “It does. It really does.”
I chuckled and kissed her temple. Then I started to hum softly, a tune I remembered from my dreams.
Vienne only blinked. “We danced to this together. In a dream.”
I nodded and kept humming.
Baby Anniston kept wailing, not a fan of my voice. She went on for another five minutes or so until the wails eventually settled into sobs and the sobs became whimpers. When the whimpers turned into the occasional sniffle in her sleep, the baby’s mother finally looked up at me from fatigued brown eyes.
“You did it,” she slurred sleepily.
I shook my head and smiled softly. “No. I just relaxed you enough so you could do it.”
She blinked, and all the muscles in her body seemed to simultaneously go lax in my arms. “I’m so tired,” she admitted.
“Then sleep, my lady. I’ll make sure you both get tucked into your beds, warm and snug.”
Her head wavered a second before she let it settle against my shoulder. I felt her lashes sweep across my skin as she shut her eyes.
“This is just another dream, isn’t it?” she asked, her voice thick with sleep.
“Of course,” I lied, kissing her temple. “Do you really think a wonderful mother like yourself would ever need me to help her settle her crying baby?”
“Oh good,” came the muffled reply against my nipple. “Because this would be quite improper if it were really happening.”
“Quite,” I agreed, kissing her hair this time and inhaling the scent of her flowery soap.
“You’re not wearing a shirt,” she slurred. “You’re so warm. I like how smooth and muscled you are.”
My chest rattled with a silent laugh until her hand smoothed up the side of my torso, causing me to groan. When her tongue licked over my nipple, I tensed, gouging her in the bottom with the strength of my erection.
“Vienne,” I warned, clutching her hair, but she’d already gone lax and dropped off to sleep.
A light snore answered me.
“God, you tease me,” I murmured into her hair, kissing her temple one last time. “But whenever you need me, I will come. Always.”
She had no response as she remained slumped deadweight against me. I smiled again, my heart heavy with affection as I managed to stand with both her and her baby cradled in my arms.
I laid her on the bed first, then managed to pry Anniston from her arms without waking either of them. The baby let out a final sniffle and curled into a warm little ball when I settled her into her crib. I stared at the infant a while, because once she was asleep, it was hard to feel any kind of irritation toward her. She was honestly that cute with her rump in the air, her legs tucked up under her and her lips parted as she dreamed.
Reaching out, I lightly stroked Anniston’s cheek. “Someday, I hope you realize how lucky you are to have a mother who loves you so much.”
Then I retur
ned to Vienne and pulled her blankets up over her. She slept on, so I sat beside her to watch her sleep for a few moments longer.
When I returned to my room, I fell into my bed almost immediately and slept so soundly, I don’t remember what Vienne and I dreamed about. I must’ve slept in, too, because when I woke, there was a tapping at my door.
“My lord,” Emmett, one of my servants from High Cliff, queried hesitantly as he eased the door open. “Are you awake?”
With a groan, I flopped onto my back and yawned up at the ceiling. “I am now,” I mumbled, even though my brain seemed to be having a hard time focusing. “What do you need?”
The servants never usually woke me. If I slept in, they simply left a breakfast tray in my room and let me be.
“Apparently it’s a holiday here in Donnelly today. Their fifty-seventh anniversary as a kingdom, I believe. That’s what the young princess Nicolette told me, anyway. And she said… She bade me to ask you, since she thus has no tutor lessons and you also do not have training with your army on such a day, that if you’d like to take a stroll with her through the garden at half past ten, she’d be most honored.”
When I merely blinked at him, trying to digest everything he’d just said, he flushed and cleared his throat, adding, “She also told me to add that she’d be inviting her favorite cousin-in-law as well as her infant along for the walk.”
I sat up suddenly, definitely awake now. Giddy over the prospect of getting to see Vienne, I shoved the blankets off me and climbed out of bed. Emmett grinned knowingly and nodded. “I rather thought that might be your answer.”
I sent him a moody scowl as I stumbled around for something to wear. “What time is it?”
“A quarter after ten, my lord.”
“Fuck!” I shook my head, hoping to clear my vision. Then I frowned at Emmett, who kept smiling at me as he lovingly touched the red mark at the corner of his own eye. “Could you stop grinning like a dumbass and help me out over here? I have no clue what to wear.”
Since I had never requested help dressing before, Emmett jumped in surprise before he lurched into action. “Certainly, my lord. Might I suggest your blue tunic? It matches your complexion well, and—”
“Yes, sure. Whatever.” I snatched the piece of cloth from his hand as soon as he opened a drawer and pulled it free. “Thanks, Emmett. You’re a godsend.”
Even with his help, however, I was nearly late for my stroll with Nicolette…and her favorite cousin-in-law.
The three of them—Nicolette, Vienne, and Anniston—were waiting at the exit that led into the garden when I hurried outside to meet them.
Chapter 29
Urban
“Good morning, Urban!” Nicolette greeted, bounding up so she could hook her arm through mine and turn us toward Vienne and Anniston. “Happy Donnelly Day! Do you know the history of our realm? I’d be happy to share it with you.”
I gazed across her dark curls of hair to meet Vienne’s gaze. My one true love didn’t seem too ashamed to look me in the eye today. In fact, she offered me a small, polite, pleased smile and nodded hello. Relieved that she didn’t seem to be experiencing any regret, I looked down at Nicolette as the princess stayed between us to lead the way outside.
“Brentley told me the kingdom’s history, I believe.”
“Oh.” Nicolette’s shoulders fell slightly as if disappointed she couldn’t tell me all about the two men who’d been banished from Lowden and eventually discovered the village of Mandalay.
“But I’ve never heard of Donnelly Day,” I told her.
And just like that, she brightened once more. “You haven’t? Oh, but it’s the best day of the entire year. We celebrate from dawn until midnight. You already missed the village breakfast, but there will be a parade down in Mandalay at noon, and everyone gives each other presents, and Caulder opens the castle and invites everyone to join us, eating a grand dinner tonight that expands through all the halls on the ground floor. It’s simply spectacular. There’ll be music, and dancing, and plays, all kinds of entertainment. Then we’ll finish the evening by watching an explosion of colored sparkles light up the sky.”
I lifted my eyebrows, impressed. “That does sound like a busy day.”
“Busy in the best way possible. Oh!” She turned away from me to address Vienne. “I wanted to show Anniston the goldfish in the brook over there. Do you mind?”
Vienne meaningfully lifted her gaze my way before returning her grateful smile to Nicolette. “Not at all, Princess. Here, take an extra blanket in case she gets chilled.”
Nicolette tossed the blanket over her shoulder and scooped Anniston from Vienne’s arms before sending me a wide smile and then bouncing away with the baby.
I watched her go, feeling as if none of this was very subtle, but I certainly appreciated getting a moment alone with Vienne.
We looked toward each other at the same moment.
When I lifted my eyebrows questioningly, she flushed. “I hope you don’t mind that I asked Nicolette to help us…talk.”
I shook my head. “Not at all. What did you wish to discuss?”
“Last night,” she said slowly. “That wasn’t a dream, was it?”
I held my breath, bracing for her anger. Then I shook my head. “No. It wasn’t.”
She blinked, then tipped her face curiously to the side. “Why did you come to my room?”
I drew out a long, regretful breath. “Because you were in distress. I’m sorry, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I woke up to your…your frustration, and I was half asleep. I didn’t know if the bearer of dark magic had gotten to you or what. Though, now that I think about it logically, you probably would’ve been feeling fear instead of aggravation, but I was still half asleep and reacted on instinct. I’m sorry, I—”
“I’m not mad at you,” she said, cutting me off and sending me an amused smile. “Not at all. I didn’t mean to make you think I was. I just… I actually wanted to thank you. For helping me with Anniston. So… Thank you.”
She seemed so formal and stiff, I arched a single eyebrow, even as I said, “It was my pleasure.”
She peeked a glance at me, flushed, and quickly turned toward the nearby bubbling brook where Nicolette had knelt down to point into the waters, even though Anniston was still far too young to focus on anything someone was pointing out to her.
“You’ve been trying to stop the dreams from your end, haven’t you?”
I nodded. “I have.”
She turned back to me, sorrow in her eyes. “Well, thank you for that. I know you only did it for my benefit, and I appreciate such consideration.”
My lips tipped up in a curious smile. “You’re welcome. Though I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming for some reason.”
A bemused smile lit her expression. “But…” she said. “I fear it’s made things worse. I think…I think trying to stop them caused a certain tension—possibly even a longing—to form, which pressurized until…until we had a…a…”
“Sex explosion,” I offered with an ornery grin.
She shot me a short frown, but then her shoulders slumped and she mumbled, “Yes. Exactly.”
“Just for the record,” I offered, still grinning madly. “I didn’t mind the explosion.”
Huffing out a breath, she kept scowling. “I didn’t think you would, but—”
“You minded it,” I ended for her, growing somber. “Yeah, I could tell they had upset you. A lot.”
Apology filled her expression as her large, brown eyes peered up at me. “It wasn’t so much that I minded them, as…”
“You didn’t think you should like them,” I supplied softly.
She sighed and went back to watching Nicolette swing Anniston up to a stand and twirl the baby in a laughing circle. “You really shouldn’t be able to read my feelings so well.”
I could only shrug. “I’ve been paying attention.”
She looked up at me and blurted, “Maybe we should stop trying to prevent them. The dreams,
that is.”
My heart leapt with joy. I wanted to yank her into my arms and kiss her right there. But I managed to contain myself and nodded stoically. “Alright. If that’s what you wish.”
She bit her lip and began to frown. “But if we do that, you swear you won’t—”
“Vienne,” I said, holding up one hand and setting the other against my heart. “I know you’re not trying to lead me on. You’re not giving me false hope or anything else you’re worried about. They’re just dreams.”
Dreams that just might sustain me for the rest of my life.
She nodded. “Okay, then.” Blowing out a breath, she nodded some more. “Okay. I guess we’ll just…We’ll…”
“Carry on as if everything is absolutely normal?” I asked, lifting my eyebrows. “Because it is?”
She sent me a quick look. A small smile hitched up the corner of her lip, and she nodded. “Exactly.”
“Oh!” Nicolette’s voice cried in surprise, causing Vienne and me to jerk away from each other, even though we hadn’t been standing all that close.
We glanced up to find Nicolette nestling Anniston to her chest and hurrying to cut off Caulder, Yasmin, and Soren as they wandered up the path, straight toward us.
But the trio hadn’t spotted us yet, which gave Vienne and me a moment to look as if we hadn’t been talking so we could shift closer to Nicolette and appear as if she’d been between us the entire time.
“Happy Donnelly Day, Sister,” Caulder greeted jovially, smiling wide when he spotted her.
“Happy Donnelly Day,” she returned, bounding toward him for a hug, only for him to pause when he saw the babe in her arms.
“Why, you’ve got…” Blinking at the infant, Caulder frowned slightly before lifting his face and glancing over Nicolette’s shoulder to finally spot me and Vienne.
“Vienne,” he greeted. “Prince Urban. Good day to you two as well.”
Soren and Yasmin had been talking together while the queen had walked between the two men, her arm looped through Caulder’s. But when Caulder spoke our names, they lifted their faces in surprise.