Robbie took in a deep breath trying to get a hold of his emotions. He’d never realized just how murderous he could get; he wanted nothing more than to get his hands on all those people who’d caused this despair in Zoe.
“The scars?” he asked.
“I lived an isolated life here in Aledeus. So isolated, Athena and Thad worried I’d never get back to society. Three years after…the incident, Athena decided I should try living away from the Island. They took me to Paris. Kenny had just started building a hotel there, and it seemed right. I enrolled in a music school, and for a while things were starting to be okay. Uncle Thad hired Franco Antonio to be my bodyguard; he never wanted me to be alone. Anyway, Danny used to visit me there, and for a while I started to feel like I could be fine. I did my music, I liked performing. Then some reporter did a story, and mother decided the Castille name was too good for the entertainment news. She sent Jessica to tell me to choose between my music and the Castille name. If I chose music, I would have to let go of my last name. I couldn’t let the music go, it was the only thing that made sense at the time. So, I became Zoella Mya. The name change made me depressed. I lost it because I couldn’t seem to please Gabriella, and suddenly not being a Castille meant so much. One moment I was panicking, the next second, Franco was rushing me to the nearest hospital. I can’t quite tell you what happened.”
“Why did you do it?” Robbie asked, looking at her bent head. “I need to know that it can’t happen again, Zoe. Please tell me.”
“It won’t,” Zoe said looking up to meet his stormy gaze. “I promised myself that I never want to see the expressions I saw on Kenny, Thad and Athena’s faces again. All their hard work had been drained in one minute…I know it won’t happen again.”
“Tell me why,” Robbie insisted, needing to know.
“Because I didn’t belong anymore,” Zoe said quietly, looking away, she sighed, “my last name was where I belonged. My father’s name was the one thing I could be proud of, I had nothing else left.”
Robbie stood up, and leaned down to help her up. She stared at him in surprise, as he wrapped her in a large terrycloth towel. He picked her up and stood her before him. Hugging her hard, he said with quiet anger.
“Zoe, you belong with me, I know why you left me now.”
“Robbie—
“I don’t care what happens, you can have my name, and I won’t care what happens. In my heart, you are Zoella Mya McClaire. Through the worst, it won’t change, and I won’t want you to drop it.”
Zoe gasped and stared at his dark t-shirt as he held her tight. His heart was beating loudly in his chest and she realized he meant every word.
“Robbie,” she sighed, her hands going around his waist to hold him too. “I was trying to protect you. I don’t want you to go through the kind of pain my family has gone through because of me.”
“I love you,” Robbie stated into her ear. “I protect you as much as you protect me, and leaving me to protect me is not helping me. You killed me, Zoe. You leaving me, killed me, and I don’t think I can handle it if you dare do it again. So, please don’t even think about being apart from me.”
“S’agapo,” Zoe whispered, love in her voice. “I love you too.”
“You’re my family, you can’t abandon me,” Robbie urged. “Promise me.”
Robbie closed her eyes and held him tight.
“I promise. You’re my life, I won’t leave you, but you have to know this won’t be easy,” Zoe said into his chest. “I’ve screwed things up too much.”
“We’ll fix it,” Robbie said decisively. Rubbing the towel against her skin, he sighed, “we need to get you dressed before you catch a cold.”
“You came even though I did all that to you,” Zoe said. “Why?”
Robbie pulled back to look into her beloved face. “You can be such an idiot sometimes; do I have to spell it out for you again?”
Zoe smiled and leaned up, pressing a kiss on his chin, she shook her head no. She already knew the answer, and it took her breath away. Not that it solved everything, but Robbie being here was more than enough, she realized. Her heart was not fluttering in fear anymore; she was stronger, in spirit and in her heart. She could face this head on, why was it so easy when he was around?
Chapter Twenty
Playing with her plate of vegetables, Zoe looked up and found Robbie studying her intently. She blushed at the intensity of his green gaze. She was hardly mesmerizing, she thought, which was what that gaze of his suggested. Dressed in a t-shirt and boxer shorts she’d borrowed from him, her feet in thick socks also from his closet, she didn’t think that she could inspire that kind of look.
“You’re blushing,” Robbie teased when he noted her high color.
“I don’t blush,” Zoe said looking down at her plate again.
He chuckled at that.
They were in the living room, seated on the floor with the coffee table between them. Livia had brought her the food, but she wasn’t hungry. Robbie insisted she eat though. Forcing herself to take a small bite, she chewed on the vegetables slowly.
“You’re not going to ask me?” Robbie asked, leaning back against the couch behind him, his gaze moving over her freshly scrubbed face, and her bright eyes.
She looked better than before, she seemed light-hearted now. Her hair was still damp and fell around her in rich dark curls. At his question, she looked at him, with a small frown. Her lips pouted, he wanted to kiss her then.
“Ask you what?” Zoe put her fork down; she too leaned back on the armchair behind her and met his gaze.
“About her,” Robbie stated.
There was no need to ask who ‘her’ was. Zoe could clearly remember the glossy picture she’d seen in a magazine a couple months ago. Shaking her head, she looked down at the rich Tibetan carpet under her.
“It’s not my business.”
“That hurts,” Robbie said.
“We were separated.”
“We are together now.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“But it does,” Robbie countered. “You’re thinking about it, and wondering, so ask me, Pixie.”
“Did you call her that?” Zoe demanded, her eyes flashing at him, he couldn’t help smiling.
“That’s your name.” Robbie shifted forward, leaning his elbows on the coffee table. “She’s not you, and as far as am concerned, she doesn’t exist.”
“You slept with her,” Zoe spat out, shaking her head.
“I won’t deny it,” Robbie said. “But never again, I told you once, I belong with you, I was just trying to cope with not having you with me anymore. It was hell. I couldn’t do it.”
“She was with you your entire British tour,” Zoe said with a sigh, “don’t—
“It happened three times,” Robbie said then, “and only because I was drunk. Otherwise, it never went beyond kissing. I couldn’t touch her without thinking of you.”
Zoe pushed her plate away and sighed. “I can’t hold this against you.”
“I don’t want you to,” Robbie said, “but it has to be said, because I love you and I need you to know that I was trying to hurt you back.”
“You succeeded,” Zoe admitted. “I couldn’t breathe from seeing that picture.”
“I’m sorry,” Robbie apologized.
Zoe met his green gaze, wondering how they were ever going to get through this. She had caused the pain she was seeing in his eyes now. She was the reason for this mess.
“We can’t apologize for the rest of our lives,” Zoe said.
“I agree.”
Zoe nodded and reached for the glass of water Robbie had placed beside the plate. Sipping it slowly, she took in a deep breath and looked away from Robbie.
“How bad is it with the band?”
“Tevin is here,” Robbie said.
“Mick and Ron won’t forgive me easily.”
She knew that hurting Robbie
had hurt them.
“But they will,” Robbie said with certainty.
She was part of Haden, they loved her too.
“Gloria won’t see reason,” Zoe shrugged, “not that I care, we’ve never really got along.”
“Kelly is not a fan of mine,” Robbie said with a smile, “that hasn’t stopped us.”
“Steve Harden will get out of jail,” Zoe said bluntly. “He will drag us both in to his media agendas.”
“I don’t care.” His tone was confident; he didn’t want her to doubt that. “He can’t touch you, not when am here.”
Zoe placed the glass down and leaned forward on the coffee table, bringing their faces close to each other, she smiled.
“It’s really hard to forget you. I couldn’t even bear the thought.”
“I’m glad.” Reaching out, he caressed her cheek, her soft skin felt like silk to him. He couldn’t believe that she’d been so far away from him for so long. “I want to make love to you, but—
“But what,” Zoe asked.
Her breath hitched at the way he was looking at her.
“I have one more question.”
Robbie leaned in and kissed her gently, his lips touching hers so softly; it felt like a feather was passing over them. Pulling back, he looked at her lowered eyes.
“Does being with me make you…I know that what happened to you was horrible…and the memories of it…”
Zoe’s eyes widened as she caught on.
“No. Robbie, never in all the times we’ve made love have those memories come back. You don’t ever have to worry about that. For some reason, you stop my nightmares also.”
“Nightmares,” Robbie’s eyes widened, “have you been having them?”
“Yes,” Zoe sighed, touching his jaw, she continued, “but never when am with you.”
“Really,” Robbie said, with a smile. “Come here then.”
She grinned and leaned in for another kiss. This time when he kissed her, it was deep, hot and very sensual. He wanted her, and he let her know it as he explored her mouth thoroughly. Pulling back slowly, they were both breathing fast, Robbie said against her cheek,
“I’ve missed you, so much.”
“I missed you too.”
Robbie pressed a kiss on her earlobe and took her hand. Standing up, he pulled her up and led her around the coffee table. Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her hungrily, his hands moving over her possessively. She was his; no one would ever take that away from him, not even Steve Harden.
Zoe clung to his shoulders, drowning in their heat. He was everything, she thought, desperately. He was her shelter, her life. He was here, and he wasn’t leaving because of her past. He was accepting it, she wasn’t sure why she deserved it, but who was she to question this gift. She hadn’t lost him after all. A moan escaped at that, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, in happiness. Robbie, picked her up, and went to the bedroom.
Standing her at the foot of the king size bed, he helped her take off the t-shirt, and the shorts, she pulled up his black shirt and grinned when it wouldn’t come off at the neck because of haste. Once it was off, he moved them back until her knees were against the bed, then they were falling back on it.
Robbie trailed kisses down her neck, to her chest, his mouth moving quickly to her breasts, making her gasp as sensation swamped her. Taking a nipple between his lips, he licked it, and her fingers found his hair. His teasing making her arch up so that he could give her more. He suckled her breast, his hand finding the other, kneading it gently, inducing a riot of sensations, she felt as though he was lighting her on fire. Robbie continued his gentle assault on her breasts, until she was begging him to do something about the heat he was fanning to life.
Smiling at her demands, he kept his hands at her breasts, as he trailed kisses down her stomach, to the triangle between her legs. She immediately spread them to accommodate him there, and he pressed a kiss to her inner core, making her arch again. Gripping her breasts firmly, he drove her mad when he suckled her clitoris. She came almost at once, but he didn’t stop, bringing her to the brink over and over, until she was screaming in ecstasy. Her fingers clinging to the covers because it felt like she was coming apart.
Moving over her, Robbie kissed her, sharing her taste as he pulled off his trousers. Zoe helped, and when he was free, she led him to her. Her gaze holding his as he entered her, she let out a quiet gasp, at the tight fit. It had been a while, and he smiled at that. Kissing her gently, he wrapped her in his arms as he started to move. Slowly at first, so that she could get used to him, then he increased the pace, and soon they were both moving fast as the hot tide rose unrelenting. Weaving their fingers together, Robbie leaned up to look at her so that he could see as she came apart again.
“I love you,” he whispered into her ear right at that moment.
She clung to him, tears sliding down the side of her eyes at how much he made her feel. It was too much; she felt all his love in his possession. He moved faster and she held on to him, needing it, wanting it and sighing in relief when he gave it. She came again and this time he followed, crying out in ecstasy. He collapsed on top of her, pressing a kiss to her shoulder as the world faded away and it was just both of them.
Hours later, Zoe opened her eyes to find Robbie watching her in the dimmed light. They lay facing each other, Robbie had his head propped up on his hand, while he trailed a finger over her right shoulder. His eyes hooded under dark lashes. She moved closer to him, and his gaze moved to her face.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked.
“I’m just making sure this is not a dream.”
“I don’t want to wake up if it is.” Zoe moved closer to him, so that she was pressed up against him. Her right arm came up to touch his chest. “I need you, so much, please don’t leave me.”
“I’m here.” Robbie held her closer to him, and buried his face in her hair, sliding his arms around her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Zoe nodded, and allowed herself to slip back into sleep.
****
“Say, erythro krasi,” Olivia said two days later, on a sunny afternoon.
She was in the courtyard with Robbie and Zoe enjoying a lazy afternoon by the pool.
“What is that?” Robbie asked.
She had been trying to teach him Greek ever since she’d discovered that the only Greek he knew was curse words.
“Wine, and if you want any, call it, erythro krasi.”
She wasn’t kidding either; she moved the bottle of wine away from him and smiled.
Zoe chuckled drawing his gaze. She was seated on a lounge chair, sunglasses sitting on her nose. Moving them up to her hair, Zoe said, “She’s not joking.”
Robbie turned in his chair to study her. Zoe was gorgeous in a red bikini swimsuit, her hair falling down her back, her skin glowed a healthy gold. She was beautiful.
“Come and help me.”
“No, she teaches you only curse words.” Olivia shook her head in disapproval. “You’re very naughty Mya.”
“What?” Zoe winked at Robbie as she put her sunglasses back on. “It’s not my fault he copies what I say.”
“Erythro krasi,” Robbie said.
Olivia smiled and handed him a glass for his wine.
His gaze never leaving Zoe, he asked, “Are you going to get me that ice you promised?”
“Oh yeah,” Zoe sighed and got up; she came over to him and pressed a kiss on his clean shaven jaw. “Learn Greek.”
He chuckled and watched as she left the pool area using terrace doors that would lead her into the house. Once they were alone, he turned his attention back to Olivia.
“What do you want to ask me?” Livia leaned forward to pour him wine. “She is not going to return to the mainland easily if that’s what you want.”
“No, I didn’t think so, but I do want her to marry me. What is it going to take to get her to say yes again?”
“Answer my question first,” Olivia said, “Why Zoe?”
Robbie stared at her for a moment, leaning on the table, he said, “She’s mine.”
“You’re possessive,” Olivia said. “But she’s not an item. I will not give her to you if that is what she is to you.”
“I love her, she’s my family. Is that good enough?”
“Her mother loves her,” Olivia said. “I don’t see how that makes a difference to her. The woman has only caused her pain.”
Robbie narrowed his eyes at the stubborn older woman.
“You’re a tough one. Fine, the first person I call when shit hits the fan is Zoe. When I have good news in my life, I want to share it with her. After a long grueling tour the only person I want to spend my time with is her. I can’t stand the clutter she sometimes can make of our house, but I miss it when it’s not there.”
“She drives me nuts when she’s bored, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She inspires me with my music, and I love it when she goes all night composing because of something I said or did. I spent five months trying to forget her,” he sighed, “trying to figure out how I can live without her and it felt like I was suffocating. I never realized my capability for violence until she told me what Harden did to her two days ago. How am I doing so far?”
Olivia sighed. “Just ask her again, she won’t refuse.”
“Are you sure?” Robbie asked.
“She was protecting you. Now there is no need for it, because you’re here. Ask her again. Besides, she’s still hauling that rock you gave her on her right hand. What makes you think two more on her left will stop her?”
Robbie stared at her for a moment, and then laughed when she took his right hand and pointed to the ring on his middle finger. A masculine version of Zoe’s, it was a pure platinum band with their initials jewel-engraved. It was elegant and utterly masculine. He could still remember the day Zoe had slipped it on him two years ago in Paris.
“Now, here is a new one for you, my son, pandrépsou me,” Olivia said with a smile.
“Pandrépsou me, what does it mean?”
“Say it to Mya, when she comes back out,” Olivia said.