anger anger anger lust anger confusion sad anger anger
—was still upset. But not afraid. At least he wasn’t afraid of her. God, never let him be afraid of me, oh please, never that.
“Great story, Rache.”
“It’s not a story,” she snapped, momentarily forgetting that she had told it to him exactly like a story. “Okay, it was. It is, but it’s also relevant to now. I’m not a vampire, Edward. I’m Pack. A werewolf.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Say something besides uh-huh!”
“Okay. How much more of that raw hamburger are you going to eat?”
“What?” She looked down. The burger she’d formed into a patty, then nibbled, was the fourth in three minutes. Her bag o’ meat was now empty. “Oh. I’m . . . I guess you could say I’m a stress eater.”
For the first time that afternoon, he smiled. “Then you’re stressed every minute of every day. Look, I get that you didn’t want me to figure out your secret. And I don’t know why you set out to meet me at all, except maybe it’s got something to do with Boo. It’s the only thing I can figure. But it doesn’t matter now. I don’t think I can call Boo off, she’s sort of like a button you can’t un-push, so you’ve got to—”
“I don’t care.”
“What?”
“I don’t care that you can’t call Boo off. Let her come.” She licked her fingers. “She can’t hurt me. She’ll see I’m not a vampire, and even if she doesn’t, she won’t be able to hurt me. Then she’ll probably lay into you for a while for sending her on a wild vampire chase, which I’m going to find hilarious. And then she’ll go away. Leaving me to figure out who’s killing everybody.”
“What?”
“Which part of that freaked you out?”
“All of it! Jesus! Okay, first off, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“That’s true, but only for one of us.”
He ignored her, too busy waving his arms around and ranting. “Because second off, Boo can absolutely hurt you, all right? Boo can hurt the bejeezus out of you! Third off, she’s not going to ‘go away’ until she . . . and who’s killing everybody? I think you skipped a step. Who’s a killer?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I have to find out. The vampires might help.” She thought about it. “Might. Her if it doesn’t interrupt Smoothie Time, and him if he thinks it might be a danger to her, or them. I haven’t decided if they’ll be a hindrance or not. I don’t have that data. You definitely will be, running around telling Pack members they’re vampires . . . that’s just not helpful, Edward. It’s not. You’re staring at me again.”
He was. “And there’s a good reason for that! I can’t believe we’re having this . . . okay. Look, I’m not mad—” anger anger anger concern anger fear anger
“—anymore. I mean, I am, but, but we’ve got to talk about this. We’ve got to figure it out. At the very least, you’re delusional. At best, Boo’s on her way to kill you a lot. Either way, you’re in trouble.”
Either way, I’m blessed. You are a darling, Edward, a darling pain in my ass. What a fool this Boo must be to have let you leave her!
“Have you ever known a vampire to eat full meals? To eat solid foods of any type?” she asked, waving the now-empty Ziploc gallon bag at him. She’d been tempted to turn it inside out and lick it clean but reminded herself Edward had been through enough already. No need to put him through that. Just one of those nasty things we only do when we’re alone. “Ever? Hmmm?”
“You’re the queen vampire,” he said stubbornly. “You can do stuff the others can’t. We went through all this. That un-vampire-y stuff, it goes with the territory.”
“Not at all. I’m Pack. I’m sent by my leader to watch their queen. And I don’t know why you’re here at all . . . except it’s not just to enjoy a change of scenery, is it? Edward? I was sent, and I never thought to question why you were. Did your Boo send you?”
He was shaking his head. “She’s not my anything, and no. I sent myself. Should have done it sooner, frankly, because I had to get the hell—we’re not talking about me, dammit! We’re talking about you.”
She peeked at the moon. Soon. Soon. It was almost time to go inside for the night. Because she had to, she didn’t want to. She could be so stupid sometimes, so contrary to herself. Because I have to, I don’t wanna. Wanna stay out here with Edward and feel his anger and lick empty Ziploc bags. Waaaah! Pathetic.
“—why you picked me, but it’s not like we didn’t have some fun. I don’t want to have to tell you these things, Rache, but I don’t want to keep them corked inside me, either. I don’t want to think about how even that kiss in the bookstore was a lie, just like—”
C-R-A-C-K!
“That kiss was not a lie!”
She didn’t understand the noise right away. Then she felt the spreading numbness in her hands and realized she’d brought her fists down on the tabletop, hard enough to smash a crack right through it. And Edward had listened to his inner ape, quite sensibly, and was now on his feet.
The look on his face. It was almost funny. It wasn’t just what she’d done to the table. She knew what it was; she could feel the tension in her jaw. She hadn’t shouted, exactly. She’d sort of . . . sort of squeezed the words out through her clenched teeth. It was closer to a growl than a shout.
“I—I don’t know how to lie in a kiss,” she said, and burst into tears.
Thirty-seven
She wasn’t sure when or how, but Edward was sitting beside her, which was a sizeable improvement over standing apart from her and saying cold things and hating her, wanting to hurt her.
“Oh, Rache, please don’t . . . don’t . . . don’t,” he pleaded, giving her halfhearted pats on the shoulder. “You’re upset . . . okay. Your cover’s been blown, or whatever. But no harm done, okay? There’s still time to get out of town. Just don’t—don’t do that, okay? I really can’t stand it when you—oh, Rache. C’mere.”
Then . . . miracle! He was hugging her and patting her and whispering to her and her head was on his shoulder and he—concern concern concern lust anger concern concern
—wasn’t hating her anymore. He was being nice again. He was being wonderful again.
“Just . . . calm down. Let me see your hands, you almost broke the table, you probably have splinters down to the second knuckle . . . there! You’re okay. Huh. There’s not a mark on—right, we covered that. We know how you can do that. And it’s okay!” he added hastily, as if worried she’d burst into fresh sobs. “Well, it’s not okay, but you know what I mean. Look, let’s talk about—let’s—okay. Say I believe you. Tell me how it happened.”
“How what happened?” she sniffed, surreptitiously wiping her nose on his shoulder.
“Well, I did see you over there, in your—in her driveway. We both know you were there. Tell me about it.”
“About what? You said you saw me.”
“Sure. What were you doing? If you’re not the vampire queen, why were you there? How’d you even know to go there? Let’s say I’m buying this bullshit you’re tossing . . .”
She straightened up, freshly pissed. “Bullshit I’m toss—?”
He put his hands up like a man being arrested. He’d turned, they had both turned so they were straddling the picnic bench, their faces only a foot apart. “So you were . . . what? Sent on a noble and sacred mission to spy out the land?”
“No, apparently, you were. Which reminds me! I’ve got a few questions for you, pal.”
“Focus, Rache.”
“You focus.” She sulked on her part of the bench, but he was apparently done with the comforting. Now he was like a bloodhound on the scent.
“How did you creep into town all unnoticed by the vampire queen’s sinister minions? Assuming you’re not her?”
“I didn’t creep.”
“What are you, a lawyer or a slammin’ hot accountant?”
“Oh, I never could have handled law school,” she s
aid, appalled. She shook her head. “Too many gray areas. Accounting, at least, is black and white. One of the few jobs that is, really. Nothing like social work, or medicine.”
Edward sighed and ripped his fingers through his hair so fast she was worried he might accidentally scalp himself. Or give himself a friction burn. He took a deep breath—
Forced calm. Anxiety. Irritation.
—and started again.
“Okay, Rachael. From the beginning. You skulked into town . . .”
“I drove my rental car to the chamber of commerce, where I met with a . . .” Pack member, she’d been about to say, but her secrets were her own to share. She had no business outing any other Pack members to Edward without their permission. “. . . a woman who had sort of prepared the way for me. She’d set up my living arrangements and was trying to get some clients for me. I didn’t know if I’d be here for a week or a year or a decade, so I needed to try to build a bigger client base.”
He nodded, reached up, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Okay . . .”
She loved that he did that. She loved that he didn’t know he did that.
“And then, once I knew where I was going to be living, I got settled in—didn’t take long, I can tell you.” She sort of gestured to the basement. “You’ve seen it.”
“Yup. And . . . ?”
“And I made note of the address from the newsletter. I kept it.”
“Which you had because . . .”
“My cousin is our Pack leader. He’s the boss werewolf. He had one and he made me a copy.”
“Unreal,” Edward muttered, passing his hand over his eyes as if getting a headache. “Vampires are either fearless or stupid or maybe both.”
“I,” she retorted, “am not arguing. So I had the newsletter, I had her address. I MapQuested it, walked there since my apartment is only two blocks away from her mansion—far enough away so I’m not in their line of sight, but close enough so I can get there in a hurry if I have to. Or leave in a hurry if I have to. It’s a huge neighborhood. It’s not hard to lose someone if you have to.”
“Logical,” Edward said, nodding. Then he jabbed a finger in her direction. “But still sinister.”
Rachael sighed and peeked at the moon again. She didn’t have to, not really. She could have been in an underground bunker (which maybe the hobbit hole was, come to think of it) and would have known exactly what phase the moon was in at all times. Still, she had to look. The moon was her jailor and her lover.
“Then I rang the doorbell and was courteously let inside.”
“You didn’t call.”
“No.”
“They had no idea you were coming.”
“No.”
“Fearless or stupid.”
“Yes, or something beyond that, something we can’t understand. Perhaps it’s because they live so much longer than we do. Their slow—nonexistent, even?—metabolism spreads a different message. They have perspective we don’t have. Or can’t understand.”
“Yeah, maybe. That’s . . .” He trailed off, thought about it. “That’s interesting. Huh. So they let you in.”
“Yes. Because, see, I didn’t know it at the time, but they thought I was there to collect . . . This is going to sound complicated, but another Pack member used to live with them. They thought I’d come for her things. They weren’t surprised to see me. And they weren’t afraid, either. When I realized that, I decided to come back another time. I wanted to think about what I’d seen. I wanted to ponder what they’d done, and what they hadn’t done. So I left.”
“You saw the queen, though?”
“And her assistant, and a pregnant woman. And a . . .” She paused. Thought about it. Went ahead anyway. “I don’t expect you to believe me, because you haven’t believed anything I’ve said today, but I also saw a for-real zombie!”
“I know, right?” he cried, his hands on her shoulders, almost shaking her in his excitement. “Really good-looking guy, green eyes and scrubs? Right?”
“Amazing!”
“I knoooow!” He realized they were nose to nose and pulled back. “Okay. So we can agree that whole zombie thing was cool and weird.”
“Very cool,” she agreed. “And very weird. I didn’t even know there were zombies.”
“Jeez.” He was watching her in that strange way again, as though he couldn’t make up his mind if she was a freak or a find, or both. “If you’re lying, you’re the best I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m not lying.” She tossed her head. “But I am the best you’ve ever seen.”
He laughed, surprising them both. Then sobered almost at once. She was sorry. But at least he was—
concern concern puzzlement concern perplexity
—listening. At least he was trying to keep an open mind, even if he truly didn’t know what to think.
“You said your Pack leader, you said he sent you out here. To Minnesota. Why?”
“We’re cousins. He trusts me and he knew I’d do what he asked for love, not duty. He knew I wouldn’t want to go, but he also knew I wouldn’t let that get in the way of the work.”
“Yeah? So you guys are close?”
“Yes,” she said simply. There were too many things to explain in the course of one evening, especially that evening, and Pack dynamics were one of them.
“Are you gonna get in trouble for telling me all your secrets?”
“I’m not,” she replied, amused. “There isn’t time to tell you all my secrets. But if there was, the answer would be no. He loves me and he trusts my judgment.”
“I can see why he loves you.” Edward nodded. “Who wouldn’t?”
Oh, Edward. Do you even know what you just admitted to me? And the answer is, lots of people. Lots of people wouldn’t. Daresay couldn’t? But I love that you can’t understand that.
“But,” he continued, “why send anybody?”
“Because the last werewolf he sent to keep an eye on the vampire queen turned up dead in less than two years.
“What?”
Thirty-eight
She nodded. “It’s true.”
“Jesus!” Worry. Worry. Fear. Fear. Worry. “They killed her?”
“No. She took a bullet for the queen.”
“She did what?”
“I know. She died. We’re a hardy bunch, Edward, and we can take a lot of punishment compared to your kind, but even we can’t grow our own frontal lobes back.”
For a moment she thought he was going to fall off the bench. His look of shock and horror did more than touch her heart; it gave it a cramp. Oh, Edward. You’re too good.
“And he asked you anyway?”
“Yes.”
“And you went?”
“Of course.”
“Because you’re his cousin and he knew you’d go.”
“Yes!” she said, pleased he was catching on.
“Then he’s a prick and I’m going to beat the shit out of him!” the accountant roared. “I am not believing this shit even as I’m hearing it! He’s a dead man, Rache! That shit! That fucker!”
“But that’s so sweet! Truly, Edward. I love that you said that. But you mustn’t be mad at him.”
“Yeah? Mustn’t I? Just watch.”
“My duty became my pleasure about five seconds after I met you. If I’d known you were waiting, I would have come here much sooner.
“Ah, Edward. Stop me if you’ve heard this . . .”
“ ‘I’m not the vampire queen’?” he guessed.
“Well, yes. But also, you’re too good. Anyone else would have greeted me with a stake through my upper ribs.”
“Yeah, well. It’s not even the weekend yet. So then what? We’ll get back to your asshole cousin. What happened after you met them?”
“When we finished ‘visiting,’ I let myself out. I wasn’t so much gathering info as I was indulging in a quick gossip with the gals (and zombie). Which is when you spotted me.”
“No, because I didn’t
see you then. I saw you the next day. Right?”
“Ah! Yes. Because after bluff sex, my contact in downtown St. Paul texted me about another murder. I realized that my wanting to see you had actually cost some poor creature her life. When I realized the depth of my carelessness, I went back to the mansion straightaway.”
“Me, too, me, too!” he interrupted excitedly. “I’d blown off calling Boo because I didn’t have the smoking gun. Any gun. So I wanted to see what else I could find out. That’s when I spotted you.” This time he was the one to sigh. It sounded like a soft breeze through a cemetery.
“That’s when I knew it was all over but the cleanup. You . . . and me . . .” She opened her mouth to interrupt, but he shook his head. “I might have given her the wrong information on purpose. I mean, to delay her. Which I’ll pay and pay and pay and pay for. But we’ve got a little time now. I figured I’d let Boo come and just get out of the way and let her do what she does. You know, like Hoover brand vacuum. But I couldn’t . . .” He was looking into her eyes as his own shone with tears that hadn’t dropped. “I couldn’t just . . .”
“Throw me to the wolves?” she guessed. “So to speak?”
“And here we are.”
Her heart didn’t break, nothing that dramatic, but it did get a tiny cramp when she took in Edward’s crestfallen expression.
He really wanted to believe in a world right out of a Xanth novel and, of course, wanted the truth here and there, but could never hide how bummed he was to discover yet another thing he relied upon was about as interesting and romantic and magical as track lighting.
The latest reality check? The mystery gal is just another spy spotted in the wrong place. It’s nothing. No, it’s even worse than nothing . . . it’s explainable.
Edward’s problem isn’t that magic isn’t magical, she thought with deep sympathy. His problem is, he’s the biggest romantic I’ve ever met. He wants knights to slay dragons and then marry the Maiden Fair and live happily ever after. He wants all that, he would live for all that. He doesn’t want to back up servers and coordinate audits.