read the enclosure

  and then look at

  me.

  “well, here we are

  again!

  we just can’t behave ourselves,

  can

  we?”

  he always said the same

  thing.

  I rather liked the idea of

  being bad

  but I had no idea

  that I

  was.

  I didn’t protest

  because

  I thought that

  the teachers were

  stupid

  and that

  Mr. Sanderson was

  stupid

  so

  there was nobody

  to protest

  to.

  certainly not

  my parents

  who were more stupid

  than

  any of

  them.

  “all right,” Mr. Sanderson would

  say, “go into the phone booth,

  close the door

  and don’t come out until I

  tell you

  to.”

  it was one of those

  glassed in phone booths with a

  little seat.

  all the times I sat there

  the phone never

  rang.

  and it was stuffy

  in there.

  all you could do in there

  was think

  and I didn’t want to

  think.

  Mr. Sanderson knew that.

  there were magazines in

  there

  but they were all dull,

  fancy ladies

  magazines

  but I read them

  anyhow

  and that really made me

  feel bad

  which was what Mr.

  Sanderson wanted.

  finally

  after one or two hours

  he would bang on the

  door with his big

  fist and yell, “ALL RIGHT,

  YOU CAN COME OUT OF THERE

  NOW

  AND I DON’T EVER WANT TO

  SEE YOU IN HERE AGAIN!”

  but

  I’d be back

  many times

  never knowing

  why.

  finally

  like somebody doing

  time

  I got out of that

  high school

  and it was a couple

  of years later

  that I read

  in the newspaper

  that Mr. Sanderson

  had been

  prosecuted

  fined and

  jailed

  for

  embezzlement of

  school

  funds.

  while I had been

  in that phone booth

  diddling with

  myself

  that son of a

  bitch

  had been making

  his

  moves.

  I felt like

  going down to

  the jail

  and dumping a

  bunch of

  Ladies’ Home Journal

  on him

  but of course

  I didn’t.

  I felt good enough

  about it

  just the way it

  was.

  the soldier, his wife and the bum

  I was a bum in San Francisco but once managed

  to go to a symphony concert along with the well-dressed

  people

  and the music was good but something about the

  audience was not

  and something about the orchestra

  and the conductor was

  not,

  although the building was fine and the

  acoustics perfect

  I preferred to listen to the music alone

  on my radio

  and afterwards I did go back to my room and I

  turned on the radio but

  then there was a pounding on the wall:

  “SHUT THAT GOD-DAMNED THING OFF!”

  there was a soldier in the next room

  living with his wife

  and he would soon be going over there to protect

  me from Hitler so

  I snapped the radio off and then heard his

  wife say, “you shouldn’t have done that.”

  and the soldier said, “FUCK THAT GUY!”

  which I thought was a very nice thing for him

  to tell his wife to do.

  of course,

  she never did.

  anyhow, I never went to another live concert

  and that night I listened to the radio very

  quietly, my ear pressed to the

  speaker.

  war has its price and peace never lasts and

  millions of young men everywhere would die

  and as I listened to the classical music I

  heard them making love, desperately and

  mournfully, through Shostakovich, Brahms,

  Mozart, through crescendo and climax,

  and through the shared

  wall of our darkness.

  Bonaparte’s Retreat

  Fred, they called him.

  he always sat at the end of the

  bar

  near the doorway

  and he was always there

  from opening to

  closing.

  he was there more than

  I was,

  which is saying

  something.

  he never talked to

  anybody.

  he just sat there

  drinking his glasses of

  draft beer.

  he looked straight ahead

  right across the bar

  but he never looked at

  anybody.

  and there’s one other

  thing.

  he got up

  now and then

  and went to the

  jukebox

  and he always played the

  same record:

  Bonaparte’s Retreat.

  he played that song

  all day and all night

  long.

  it was his song,

  all right.

  he never got tired

  of it.

  and when his draft beers

  really got to him

  he’d get up and play

  Bonaparte’s Retreat

  6 or 7 times

  running.

  nobody knew who he was or

  how he made

  it,

  only that he lived in a

  hotel room

  across the street

  and was the first customer

  in the bar

  each day

  as it

  opened.

  I protested to Clyde

  the bartender:

  “listen, he’s driving us

  crazy with that

  thing.

  eventually, all the other

  records are

  rotated

  but

  Bonaparte’s Retreat

  remains.

  what does it

  mean?”

  “it’s his song,”

  said Clyde.

  “don’t you have a

  song?”

  well, I came in about one

  p.m. this day

  and all the regulars

  were there

  but Fred wasn’t

  there.

  I ordered my drink,

  then said out loud,

  “hey, where’s

  Fred?”

  “Fred’s dead,”

  said Clyde.

  I looked down at the end

  of the bar.

  the sun came through the

  blinds

/>   but there was nobody

  at the end

  stool.

  “you’re kidding me,”

  I said, “Fred’s back in the

  crapper or

  something.”

  “Fred didn’t come in this

  morning,” said Clyde, “so

  I went over to his

  hotel room

  and there he

  was

  stiff as a

  cigar

  box.”

  everybody was very

  quiet.

  those guys never said

  much

  anyhow.

  “well,” I said, “at least

  we won’t have to hear

  Bonaparte’s Retreat

  anymore.”

  nobody said

  anything.

  “is that record

  still in the

  juke?” I

  asked.

  “yes,” said

  Clyde.

  “well,” I said,

  “I’m going to play it

  one more time.”

  I got up.

  “hold it,”

  said Clyde.

  he came around the bar,

  walked to the

  juke

  box.

  he had a little key

  in his

  hand.

  he put the key

  in the juke

  and opened

  it.

  he reached in

  and pulled

  out a

  record.

  then he took the

  record and

  broke it over

  his

  knee.

  “it was his

  song,” said

  Clyde.

  then he locked

  the juke,

  took the broken

  record

  behind the bar

  and

  trashed

  it.

  the name of the

  bar

  was

  fewel’s.

  it was at

  Crenshaw and

  Adams

  and it’s not

  there

  anymore.

  flat tire

  got a flat on the freeway

  11 a.m.

  going north

  I got over to the

  side

  a small strip

  on the freeway

  edge

  got out the jack

  and the

  spare

  went to

  work

  the big rigs

  going by

  blasts of air and

  noise

  shaking everything

  and to top it

  all

  it was

  cold

  an icy

  wind

  and I thought,

  Jesus Christ, mercy,

  can I do this

  thing?

  this would be a

  good place to

  go crazy and

  chuck it all

  in

  but I got the

  new wheel

  on,

  the old one

  in the trunk

  and then I was

  back in the

  car

  I gunned it into

  the swirl of

  traffic

  and there I was

  like nothing

  had ever

  happened

  moving along

  with everybody

  else

  all of us

  caught up in our

  petty larcenies

  and our

  rotting

  virtues

  I gunned it

  hard

  made the fast

  lane

  pushed the

  button

  as my radio

  antenna

  sliced into the

  sky.

  oh, I was a ladies’ man!

  you

  wonder about

  the time

  when

  you ran through women

  like an open-field

  maniac

  with this total

  disregard for

  panties, dish towels,

  photos

  and all the other

  accoutrements—

  like

  the tangling of

  souls.

  what

  were you

  trying to

  do

  trying to

  catch up

  with?

  it was like a

  hunt.

  how many

  could you

  bag?

  move

  onto?

  names

  shoes

  dresses

  sheets, bathrooms

  bedrooms, kitchens

  back

  rooms,

  cafes,

  pets,

  names of pets,

  names of children;

  middle names, last

  names, made-up

  names.

  you proved it was

  easy.

  you proved it

  could be done

  again and

  again,

  those legs held

  high

  behind most of

  you.

  or

  they were on top

  or

  you were

  behind

  or

  both

  sideways

  plus

  other

  inventions.

  songs on radios.

  parked cars.

  telephone voices.

  the pouring of

  drinks.

  the senseless

  conversations.

  now you know

  you were nothing but a

  fucking

  dog,

  a snail wrapped around

  a snail—

  sticky shells in the

  sunlight, or in

  the misty evenings,

  or in the dark

  dark.

  you were

  nature’s

  idiot,

  not proving but

  being

  proved.

  not a man but a

  plan

  unfolding,

  not thrusting but

  being

  pierced.

  now

  you know.

  then

  you thought you were

  such a

  clever devil

  such a

  cad

  such a

  man-bull

  such a

  bad boy

  smiling over your

  wine

  planning your next

  move

  what a

  waste of time

  you were

  you great

  rider

  you Attila of

  the springs and

  elsewhere

  you could have

  slept through it

  all

  and you would never

  have been

  missed

  never would have

  been

  missed

  at

  all.

  inactive volcano

  the bartender at Musso’s

  remembers me when

  I was

  in rags,

  used to

  lean on the wood

  with the

  worst and loudest of

  women

  and

  we would

  drink too much

  spill our drinks

  get

  nasty.

  now

>   I enter

  quietly with an

  interviewer

  a film director

  or some

  actor

  or

  with my wife

  and a gentle

  friend or

  two.

  at times

  now

  I see the bartender

  looking at me

  and I know

  he’s thinking

  of back then

  the way it

  was

  and I look

  back at him

  and my eyes

  send the

  message:

  I’m just the

  same, friend, only

  the circumstances

  have

  altered

  but

  I’m

  the same.

  then I

  turn back

  to

  whomever

  I am with

  and they

  too

  seem to be

  thinking,

  when is he

  going to go

  crazy

  again?

  nothing

  to do,

  friend,

  but

  wait

  and

  see.

  creative writing class

  I’m guilty, I did take one

  in college

  and the first thing I realized was that

  I could beat the hell out of any

  2 or 3 people in there

  at once

  (physically

  I mean)

  and

  of course

  this was no way to measure