Armed with all this information, I at last deemed that the time had come when we Egyptians should actively intervene on the side of Crete in the war between the Minoans and the Hyksos, and that we might be able to exert the critical impetus that was necessary to finally defeat the barbarian Hyksos and drive them from our homeland.
Aton and I pooled all the information and intelligence that we had gathered from our agents and he was impressed with the magnitude of my accumulated research, which was much greater than his own, but I did not disparage his efforts.
After long debate we were agreed that the most feasible plan was for us to initiate friendly overtures with the Minoans directly, and work towards an alliance with them which would make our two nations the dominant power on earth; a power which the Hyksos could never hope to challenge.
This was when, in my enthusiasm, I made an error. I told Aton, ‘I recall that in the time before the Hyksos incursion into Egypt we always maintained tenuous but mutually rewarding diplomatic contact with Crete. However, the invasion of Upper Egypt by the Hyksos has isolated our southern portion of the country. This has rendered it almost impossible for us to continue this contact with Crete. Our two countries have diverged; separated by the wedge that the Hyksos have driven between us.’
Aton listened to me with an expression of wonder slowly dawning on his chubby features. When I paused to hear his reply he went on staring at me in silence. I was obliged to press him.
‘So what is your opinion, Aton? Does my plan not appeal to you?’
He did not address my question, but reverted sharply to what I had said at the beginning. ‘Did I hear you correctly, Taita? Did you say that you actually remember the time before the Hyksos invasion of our land?’
I am usually extremely reticent about my age. Even those like Aton who know me well take me to be several decades younger than I truly am. If I were to tell them the correct figure they would think me a madman at the best, or a liar at the worst. The Hyksos invasion took place almost ninety years ago, and yes I do remember it well. But now I had to cover up my error.
I dismissed his question with a chuckle. ‘I expressed myself clumsily. What I meant was that from all I have read and heard related about the time before the Hyksos invasion, when Egypt was on friendly terms with Crete.’ Then I hurried on, ‘If we are going to attempt to restore those friendly relations and enter into another treaty of mutual defence between our two countries it will be extremely difficult to do so directly. Do you not agree, Aton?’
He did not reply at once. He still had that odd expression on his face, and I saw his eyes flicker down over my neck to my hands which lay on the cedar-wood writing desk in front of me. Aton knows as I do that the ravages of time are always more apparent on those parts of the human body.
However, I am an exception. The skin that covers my entire body is smooth and unblemished as that of a lad who has not yet grown a hair on his chin. Aton could not find the evidence of my true age that he was seeking there. So he nodded thoughtfully and brought his full attention back to the subject I had broached.
‘Of course what you say about the present situation is the truth, Taita. It would be almost impossible to make direct contact with the Minos. You have correctly identified the problem; now tell me what you believe to be the solution.’ He softened his challenge with a mild tone of voice.
‘Of course you know that the Supreme Minos maintains a diplomatic mission at the court of King Nimrod of Akkad and Sumer in his capital city of Babylon.’
‘Of course!’ Aton agreed. ‘But even if we send an envoy to Babylon to make contact with the Cretan ambassador it would entail a journey even more arduous than the one you made to attack the fort at Tamiat.’
‘Indeed, Aton, it would be almost twice as far and decidedly more dangerous and uncertain. Our envoy would have to travel east to the shores of the Red Sea. He would then have to cross not only that sea, but also the vast and hostile Arabian Desert which lies beyond that sea. That is a land forsaken by all the benevolent gods, and inhabited only by hostile Bedouin tribes and every cut-throat and outcast that ever escaped justice. The distance is well over one thousand five hundred leagues from Thebes to Babylon, and that would not be the end of it either.’
‘Why not, Taita? I thought we agreed that the Minos has an ambassador in Babylon?’
‘Yes, that is so; but that ambassador would not have the power or authority to negotiate an alliance between Crete and Egypt. He would be obliged to send our envoy with his message to the court of the Supreme Minos in Crete. Our man would be forced to find a ship in the port of Tyre or that of Sidon on the easterly extremity of the Middle Sea. After he had agreed a passage with the captain of the vessel, he must then sail with him halfway down the length of the Middle Sea, avoiding the storms of winter and the attention of pirates and Hyksos war galleys, to reach the Supreme Minos in his citadel of Knossos on the island of Crete.’
‘How long do you think that journey might take him, Taita?’
‘It would probably take a year if he were lucky and if the gods favoured him, twice as long if they did not.’
‘A great deal can change in two years,’ Aton mused.
‘Again that would not be the end of it,’ I pointed out, ‘because after the Supreme Minos had studied the message from Pharaoh, and discussed it with his council, their response would have to be carried back here to Thebes by the same route. The round journey might take as long as three or four years.’
‘No!’ Aton exclaimed with finality. ‘We cannot afford to wait that long. King Gorrab could be in Thebes by then with a hundred thousand of his murderous ruffians. There must be some other solution.’
‘I am sure you are right, my dear Aton. What did you have in mind?’ I passed the problem back to him. Sometimes even my patience can be taxed by having to spoon-feed ideas to those around me as though they were my infants.
‘I have not had a chance to consider the problem as you have. Perhaps you have already come to some kind of solution?’ He smiled ingratiatingly, and of course I relented. I often think that I am too forbearing with those who are not as sharp-witted as I am. The great Horus knows well that I get very little thanks for it.
‘What if an Egyptian ambassador appointed by Pharaoh was given such a powerful escort that he could travel safely and swiftly across the Red Sea and the desert beyond it without fear of bandits or Bedouin? What if this ambassador was given sufficient silver to charter a ship in Tyre; a ship that was large and fast enough to out-run or out-fight any pirate or Hyksos war galley?’
‘Ah!’ Aton’s eyes gleamed.
‘What if this fine ship sailed directly to Knossos in Crete? And what if this ambassador was bearing gifts that were much sought after and valued by the Supreme Minos?’ I cocked my head on one side and slanted my eyes at him knowingly. ‘Do you have any idea at all what gifts the Minos might find most acceptable?’
‘I think so, my old friend.’ Aton laughed. ‘If all that I have heard be true, the Minos has such a weighty pair of testicles that he makes up several times over for those that you and I were deprived of. He has an insatiable appetite for those things that we do not particularly care about.’
I laughed with him dutifully, although I do not find that my physical deficiency is particularly amusing.
‘But tell me, Taita, what would we have gained by all this? How would it help us to coordinate the offensive against the legions of King Gorrab? The command of the Egyptian army would still reside with Pharaoh in Thebes. Every one of his orders would have to be relayed over the long distances that you and I have already discussed and bemoaned.’
‘Once again, you have put your finger squarely on the crux of the matter,’ I commended him. ‘However, I have also given this some thought. If Pharaoh’s ambassador were bearing the royal hawk seal he would be able to make battle decisions in concert with the Minos and his staff in Crete without incurring those long delays. Swift reaction to changing circumstances very often w
ins battles.’
Aton shook his head so violently that his jowls flapped like the wings of a pelican. ‘Never! Pharaoh would never hand over the command of his armies and the conduct of the war to anyone he did not trust implicitly.’
‘Ah so, Aton! Do you believe that there is nobody in Egypt whom Pharaoh Tamose trusts unreservedly?’
‘No, I do not believe—’ He broke off and stared at me indignantly. ‘You, Taita? Surely you are not suggesting that you be given complete command of the northern wing of the Egyptian army under the hawk seal? You are not a soldier, Taita! What do you know about warfare?’
‘If you have not read my scrolls entitled “The Art of War” then I question your right to judge me on that count. Every candidate at the army college is made to study my treatise as the ultimate authority.’
‘I admit that I have never read them. Your famous scrolls are too long-winded and it is a subject that does not particularly engage my interest as I am unlikely ever to command a legion,’ Aton admitted. ‘But what I meant was that scribbling on parchment is not the same as making decisions in the heat of battle. What direct and practical knowledge do you have of commanding an army?’
‘Poor Aton, you know so little about me.’ I made my tone pitying. ‘I might just mention before we quit the subject that I designed the first chariots for our army, and I was the driver of the chariot that carried Pharaoh Tamose into the battle of Thebes. Pharaoh relied on me to counsel him on making instant decisions in the heat of the battle. My part in the battle was such that after we emerged victorious Pharaoh rewarded me with the Gold of Valour and the Gold of Praise. Pharaoh trusted me with his life on that day. He may choose to do so again.’
‘I did not know any of that, Taita. Forgive my presumption, old friend. You are a man of many parts.’
I find it necessary from time to time to remind Aton of his place and standing in the order of things. However, I found his assistance extremely useful in drawing up the submission that I was preparing for Pharaoh Tamose regarding the mission to Crete. Once he is pointed in the right direction Aton has a good eye for details.
Pharaoh was not so quick to disparage my abilities as Aton had been, especially in view of the success that I had so recently enjoyed at the fort of Tamiat. He was favourably disposed to give my plans to make contact with the Minos his full attention and consideration. He sat with me for two full days going over every detail, searching for a flaw in my construction or for an angle that I might have overlooked. At the end of that time he conceded simply, ‘I can see no obvious faults in your designs, Tata. However, it is possible that Lord Kratas and his general staff might have some objections.’
In the presence of Pharaoh and the full council I laid my plans before Lord Kratas. Kratas leaped to his feet and stamped around the council chamber growing purple-faced with outrage as he listened to me. He shook his finger under my nose, and slammed his huge hairy fists on the council table as he bellowed his misgivings and his premonitions of disaster to all the gods, both good and evil. Kratas is a ruffian at heart and has the manners of an oaf. However, he is a fine warrior, if not a great one.
I waited him out until his voice was hoarse and he had used up every oath, expletive and malediction in his extensive vocabulary and was gulping open-mouthed and wordless like a fish that had just been hauled out of the river. Then I interposed in a mild and reasonable tone, ‘There is one thing I failed to mention, my lord. I will need to take Hui and Remrem to Crete with me. I am sure you will be able to find adequate replacements for both of them on your staff.’
Kratas stared at me in speechless horror, and then suddenly he began to laugh. His mirth began as a reluctant and muted chuckle and then rose in volume to fill the chamber more amply than his curses had done just a short while previously. His legs appeared to become weakened with mirth, to the point that they were unable to bear his great weight. He staggered backwards and crashed into his chair. This piece of furniture has been especially designed to resist his bulk, and it travels everywhere with him. But now its joints squeaked in protest at the weight, and its legs buckled almost to their breaking point.
He stopped laughing as suddenly as he had begun, and lifted the skirts of his tunic with both hands to wipe the tears of mirth from his face, in the process exposing his abundant manhood. Then he dropped his skirts around his knees, and addressed Pharaoh in his normal speaking voice: ‘Majesty, on sober reflection Taita’s plan does appear to have certain merits. Only he could have thought of it, and only he could have had the balls to lay it before the council.’ He clutched his own forehead in mock contrition. ‘Forgive me, gentlemen, I think I may have chosen an inappropriate metaphor.’ He spoke seriously and then he was off again in bellows of laughter.
‘May I take that to mean that Hui and Remrem can accompany me to Crete?’ I managed to keep a neutral expression, despite his unfortunate allusion to my missing parts.
‘Take them, Taita. Your aspirations to martial glory deserve to be rewarded. Take two of my best men with my blessing. Perhaps they might be able to save you from yourself, balls or no balls; although I seriously doubt that anybody is capable of doing that.’
The preparations for the journey to Babylon took almost two months to complete.
My overriding concern was for the safety and comfort of the princesses and their entourage. They required eighty-three slaves and servants to see to their immediate needs. These included cooks, kitchen maids, chamber maids, wardrobe mistresses, beauticians, hairdressers, masseuses, musicians and other entertainers. In addition the girls insisted on taking with them a fortune teller and three priestesses of Hathor, the goddess of joy, love and motherhood, to take care of their spiritual needs. Their big brother indulged their extravagances, against my best advice, denying them nothing.
Pharaoh’s treasury was awash with treasure and he poured out his coinage without stinting a silver coin of it. After the many enforced parsimonious years of his reign I think he was enjoying this wild extravagance even more than his sisters were.
Thus encouraged my girls decided that they also needed handlers for the assortment of pet cats and monkeys and birds, hunting dogs and falcons which they were taking with them. These were over and above the grooms and stable hands they needed to tend to the twenty horses which they had selected from the royal stables.
From my point of view it was essential that the girls be superbly dressed and looking their very best while we were in Crete, under the scrutiny of the Supreme Minos and his court. Pharaoh concurred with me, and the finest seamstresses in Egypt were put to work cutting and sewing the magnificent wardrobes that I had designed for each of the princesses.
The girls and I trawled the shops in the souks of Thebes and were able to fill several large cabinets with dazzling jewellery, the better to beguile the Minos and impress him and his ministers with the wealth and importance of our kingdom. A week before we were due to depart from Thebes, Tehuti and Bekatha decked themselves out in all this finery and paraded themselves for Pharaoh and me to admire and approve. I was satisfied that no man, be he king or commoner, would be able to resist their beauty.
By this stage in the preparations the two girls had been rendered almost hysterical with excitement by the preparations and by the descriptions that Loxias had given them of the island of Crete. Neither of them had ever seen the sea or sailed upon it. They had never seen tall mountains and dense groves of tall trees. They had never seen mountains that poured out smoke and flame. They kept Loxias and me up late on most nights, questioning us and demanding detailed description of these wonders.
The Royal Mint on the west bank worked through the final days and nights, converting a hundred of the large Cretan ingots into wagonloads of the silver mem coinage that would cover the expenses of the journey and sustain us while we were in Crete, and in the other foreign lands which we would visit along the way.
The military escort that was to accompany our caravan as far as Babylon was made up of two mounted
battalions of the Blue Crocodile Guards. This was the most renowned formation in the Egyptian army. Pharaoh had every man decked out in a newly forged suit of full armour, with crested helmet, cuirass and greaves. They carried recurved war bows, spears, swords and shields. The cost of producing all these weapons and armour exceeded two thousand deben of silver. However their splendid appearance must impress all who looked upon them.
‘It’s a small price to pay for the survival of our very Egypt.’ He shrugged when I taxed him with the cost. ‘It is no good complaining to me now. All this was your idea, Tata.’ I could not argue with him.
The preparations for the journey were going so smoothly that I should have known they would not continue the same way, especially not if Princess Tehuti was so deeply involved in them, as she made herself.
I had planned on leaving Thebes on the last day of the month of Epiphi; which has always been a fortunate month for me. However, when I presented a pot of my fresh stools to my favourite soothsayer for divination, she inspected my offering and then cautioned me that the date I had chosen was inauspicious and that I should avoid it assiduously.
She advised me to delay the commencement of the journey to the first day of Mesore. I have always found her divinations to be trustworthy. Reluctantly I accepted this advice and posted a warning to all those who were to accompany the caravan, including of course the princesses, of the delay in our departure.
Within the hour the two of them came storming into my quarters in the palace without invitation or warning. Tehuti was leading the onslaught, but as usual Bekatha was resolutely backing up her big sister.
‘Oh, you promised, Tata! How can you be so cruel as to spoil our fun, Tata? We have been looking forward to this for ages. Don’t you love us any more?’
I am no weakling; at most times I am able to exert my iron will, but not against my princesses. When they attack in concert no man dare withstand them, not even me.