#
They said goodbye to Jer where the road met a hunting trail that would take them north and east. Despite their repeated warnings, he insisted on going into Potter’s Place to find out what happened to his boys. He wished them the best, gave Teth a warm hug, shook hands with Dasen, and continued down the main road armed with nothing more than a thick stave that he used as a walking stick. Teth said a silent prayer as he disappeared from view. She held little hope that her prayer would be answered, but she asked, nonetheless, that he find his boys and bring them home.
Following through with his position as the man, Dasen led the way down the narrow path. He carried a pack that Jer had given them crammed full of as many things as Teth could fit into it, including a new water bag, vegetables, a small pan that Seri had been able to spare, and a few other essentials. He also carried the bow and the quiver of arrows – now full from a stock Jer maintained at a hunting shelter in the forest – along with the silly pitchfork walking stick that he refused to give up.
Jer had also given them a hand-drawn map of the forests through which they tramped. He had been a forest master for twenty years and claimed to know the forests well. As such, he had suggested that they head toward Thoren rather than Wildern. It was far closer, and they could approach it through the empty forests to the north with far less chance of meeting the invaders. Dasen had agreed, assuming the invaders were less likely to attack the smaller city and that word could easily be sent down the Orm River. As was proper, Teth had listened from the other side of the room where she prepared the pack for their trip. Now Dasen held the map sideways, unable to make head or tails of Jer’s sketches.
“Can we stop this now?” he asked.
“Stop what?” Teth returned with innocence.
“We both know that I should not be leading or carrying this bow.”
“What do you mean? You’re the man. I’m just a woman. I couldn’t possibly lead us through the forest or shoot a bow. The Order has dictated that I am only capable of cooking, cleaning, caring for babies. I wouldn’t want us to descend into chaos, after all.”
“Teth, you know that’s ridiculous. I meant when we get to the city. I mean. . . .”
“You mean it’s okay for me to be who I am as long as there aren’t people around.” Her anger rose, burning through the humble façade she was trying to maintain. “You mean it is alright for me to do all these things as long as no one else sees it, as long as I turn back into your proper little wife when there are people who might object.”
“It’s not that simple. These are special circumstances. You need to do those things so we can survive. In the city, around other people, you don’t need to be that way.”
“My whole life has been ‘special circumstances.’ ‘That way’ is the way I am. It is the only way I know to be. And you don’t get to have it both ways. I’m not a candle that you can light when you need to see. If you think it is so easy for me to be the woman you want, then it should be just as easy for you to be the man I want. Isn’t that what your precious Order dictates? So I will be a proper wife, and you can be a proper husband. So lead on my valiant protector. Lead on.”
Apparently that was enough for Dasen. He turned on his heel and stomped down the path without a word. Teth followed. Surprisingly, she felt no satisfaction from the tirade. I have to show him who I am and why that person is important, but he still has to like that person in the end, she reminded herself. And even worse than that, she felt literally naked without her bow.
Chapter 29