"Coach...will you be the one to tell Zack?" someone in the back of the room calls out.
"Yeah...Suzie and I will stay here until he wakes up. Then we'll go in and talk to him. Now go on...everyone get home and get some rest."
I stand from my chair, pulling Olivia up with me. Her cheeks are wet with tears and I take a moment to wipe them off while she stares at me with sad, sad eyes. I pull her in for a hug, letting my arms around her and hers around me be about the only comfort we can glean at this point.
Alex claps me on the back. "Hey...you two want to go get some breakfast?"
I look down at Olivia and she nods. "Yeah...sure. Let's meet over at Bunky's. Over on the Fayetteville Street Mall."
Alex and Sutton nod, giving us both a short smile. We all walk out of the waiting room, the entire team walking with heavy hearts and bowed heads. We're all thinking the same thing.
How will Zack ever get past this?
--
After breakfast, which was a subdued affair, Olivia and I head back to my house.
"I think I'm going to take a shower," Olivia says softly as she walks back into my room. I don't follow her, but rather go to the kitchen. I pull a bottle of water out of the fridge and twist the top off.
I can't believe Gina is fucking dead. I don't know when the reality of it will hit me, and I imagine it will take a bit longer for Zack to comprehend what's happened. My heart aches for him in a way that I know would not have hurt if I hadn't met Olivia. Now that I've seen what it's like to have someone who you care about--and who cares for you--it just puts a different perspective on things for me.
Setting the bottle down, I walk back to my bedroom and hear the hiss of the shower running. I walk that way, taking my clothes off as I go. Olivia's body is barely visible through the frosted-glass door of the shower, but I see enough to make my cock start to swell. Her hands are on her head, which is tilted backward under the spray. It pushes her breasts out...and, yeah, I fucking need her.
As I open the shower door, she turns her face over her shoulder to look at me with droplets of water coating her long eyelashes. She moves forward a few feet to make room for me, and I close the shower door behind me. The majority of the spray is hitting my back, so I reach out and pull Olivia closer to me. Drag her right up against me so my entire front is pressed to her back. My cock is hard as a rock, and yet it impossibly gets harder still when she curves an arm upward to reach around the back of my head. Her head falls back and rests on my chest.
"Are you okay?" she asks, her voice filled with sweet care as her fingers massage my neck.
Wrapping one arm around her waist, I bring my palm up to cover her breast. Leaning down to nuzzle her neck, I say, "No. Not really."
"What can I do to help you?" she murmurs, arching her back so her breast pushes up harder against my hand. My arm around her waist drops and my fingers start playing between her legs. Light, silky touches...subtly teasing. Her breath catches and she spreads her legs a bit wider for me.
"Let me get lost inside of you," I say in a low voice, slowly sinking a finger into her heat.
Olivia moans, rolls her hips, and pants out, "Yes."
That one word of surrender fires my blood hot, and my cock pulses against her backside with aching need. Once I get inside her, all the terrible thoughts churning through me will finally be put to rest. At least for a little while.
"Olivia," I say urgently...desperately. "I want to fuck you...without a condom. Tell me it's okay."
"I'm on the pill," she whispers, her hips now moving in such a way that she's riding my finger.
"And I swear I'm clean. I've never been with a woman without a condom before. I promise."
"I trust you," she says, and then it's all over for me.
I push against her body until she steps right up against the back wall of the shower. Pulling my hand out from between her legs, I capture her by the wrists and raise her arms above her. "Keep your hands up there," I tell her as I plant her palms against the tile.
Stepping back just a fraction, I let my gaze roam down her body. She's a fucking angel, with her long, wet hair hanging down the creamy expanse of her back. Her ass is perfection and shimmers with the water that coats her skin. Reaching out, I take her by the hips and pull her back just a tiny bit. With her hands on the wall and her ass tilted, I am consumed with an insane lust for her.
I take my cock in hand and step back up. Bending my knees a bit, I line up and rub myself against her for a few brief strokes. Olivia moans with need and says, "Hurry."
That's all I need, and then I'm pushing inside, working her flesh with short strokes in and out until I feel her melt and expand around me. When I'm sunk in as deep as I can go, my pelvis pressed to her ass, I push her forward again until she's flat against the wall. Putting my hands her waist, I brace myself and start to drive in and out of her.
She grips me tightly. So fucking good. So hot. So wet.
I thrust in, pull out...not too fast, and certainly not too slow.
Leaning forward, I press my cheek against hers. "I love being inside of you," I tell her with quick pants, because my lungs feel deprived of oxygen. "Love fucking you. Love the way you squirm and moan. Love it when you come all around me. And I'm so going to love coming deep inside of you."
"Oh, God," Olivia moans with a jerk of her hips, and just like that she starts to fracture in front of me. Her wet channel grips me hard and her body quakes against me. Her head falls back and I can see that look of cosmic release on her face that's so fucking sexy.
I feel my own orgasm start to ricochet through me, and give an extra-deep push inside her just as I start to shoot my load. I bite down hard on my lower lip as I start coming...wave after wave of pleasure coursing through me.
Man, oh, man. Please tell me it will always be this good.
This freeing.
This comforting.
This spectacular.
Exhausted from my release and the events of this day, I drop my head to Olivia's shoulder and wrap my arms around her. I hold her tight to me, and her arms come up to cover mine. Her fingers stroke my skin and tiny pulses of pleasure still cause my cock to jump inside her.
"Feel better?" Olivia says, and I can hear the smile in her voice.
"Much better," I tell her, and then place a little bite on her shoulder.
"Can I share a secret with you?" she asks hesitantly.
"Anything."
"We've seen so much tragedy today. There's been death. And yet...right now...with you, I just feel so alive." Her voice falters, but then, with a slight cough, she says, "I'm so thankful to be alive. You make me feel alive."
I know exactly what she means. Since meeting Olivia, I feel like blinders have been taken off my eyes. Things seem brighter, funnier, happier. Sex is off-the-charts mind-blowing and I feel a fullness inside me that I haven't felt before.
Yeah...I know exactly what she means. I feel more alive than ever, and it's due solely to the woman in my arms.
Chapter 24
Olivia
"God, I fucking hate this," Garrett says in a voice so low, I almost don't hear him.
I lace my fingers through his and squeeze. "Me too."
We walk slowly up the sidewalk to Zack and Gina's house. I hate to even let the thought cross my brain, but I can't help but relish how handsome Garrett looks in a suit. I usually only see him in super casual clothes likes jeans and T-shirts, or his hockey gear...which yeah, he's super-hot in that too. But even as somber as it has been today, when Garrett showed up at my apartment to pick me up for the funeral, I involuntarily sighed over the fitted cut of his dark, charcoal-gray suit with a silver-blue tie. Even with his sad eyes that spoke of a heavy heart, he was still like a ray of light on a dark day.
Gina's funeral capped off the end of a terribly bitter week.
Zack was released from the hospital on Monday morning, so Garrett and Alex headed over to his house to visit him. Garrett came to Fleurish that afternoon, clearly di
straught. I tried to ask him how it went, how Zack and Benjamin were, but he was light on details and heavy on the grumpiness. He snapped at me that he didn't want to talk about it, and I got it. I totally understood. That night, after he made love to me, he apologized even while he was still lodged inside me.
"I'm really sorry I was an ass today. I just wasn't ready to talk about it," he said before rolling off me and pulling me into his arms.
"It's okay. I understood," I assured him.
Garrett was silent for a moment, then I felt a shudder run through him. "You should have seen Zack. He's like a zombie. He's there, but not really. It's like his eyes are dead or something."
My stomach sort of curled in on itself from the horrified awe in Garrett's voice. He was really shaken up over this, and although I try not to let my thoughts wander in a certain direction, I couldn't help but think: Is that how Garrett would be if something happened to me?
Probably not to that extent, because Zack and Gina had years together...they had a child together. We had only a few months. But what if we stayed together? What if I died after we were together several years? Is it fair to make Garrett suffer that type of pain and misery? Am I wrong and selfish to keep him?
My own body shuddered with the possibility and my heart was uneasy.
The rest of the week went by in a blur. The Cold Fury played at home on Tuesday and I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat when the team skated out onto the ice, each with a black armband on to honor Gina. The announcer asked for a minute of silence from the fans, and I saw signs everywhere that said things like WE LOVE YOU, ZACK and SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS and COLD FURY UNITED.
Now, in most circumstances, the fact that this team lost a valuable player as well as a loved one from the ranks would probably shake up even the strongest of confidence. But the opposite seemed to have occurred. The guys went out there and played like they were on fire. Their body checks were harder, their passes crisper, and their execution near flawless. They beat New York 7-1 in a complete and utter blowout. And sadly, that night, Garrett couldn't even work up a smile over the victory.
Because Gina's funeral was scheduled for Friday, the team did, in fact, cancel their Thursday away game against Pittsburgh and added a makeup game onto the schedule a few months down the road. I spent my days working at Fleurish while Garrett had team practices and workouts. He went to see Zack twice more, and twice more he was upset over how destroyed Zack seemed to be. I assured Garrett that, in time, he would be able to move on, and not to give up hope.
Garrett stayed over at my apartment every night this week, and there seemed to be more intensity in our lovemaking. It was almost as if Garrett was desperately seeking to immerse himself in something that would make him feel good and alive. He held my gaze longer and hotter, he touched me all over, and when I didn't think I could bear any more, he'd start all over. His words as he moved inside me were whispered and urgent, almost as if I wouldn't understand the truth of his feelings. All of this was both pleasing and disconcerting to me at the same time. Pleasing because I've felt more connected to him than ever before, and yet it also made me uneasy because I'm afraid Garrett is focusing on the frailty of life. Maybe Gina's life, maybe mine. Probably both.
Garrett opens the front door of Zack's house and we enter in among of a throng of friends and family. The church had been overflowing, the streets lined with fans who had come out to pay their respects. Gina wished to be cremated, and so it was, a bronze urn holding her ashes that I see now sits up on the mantel over the fireplace.
We wind our way through the house, Garrett stopping every so often to introduce me to someone from the team, his hand holding mine tightly. I see Gina's parents sitting in the living room, her mother holding Benjamin on her lap. He's happily reading a book and I have to wonder what a three-year-old really understands about all this. Does he know his mommy isn't coming back? Can a child that age understand death? Part of me says no, because I can barely comprehend it at times.
The kitchen counters are laden with food. Casseroles, sandwiches, desserts, and salads. No one seems to be eating, though, and I have to wonder why people bring food to these things. I mean...who has an appetite right now?
Garrett spies Zack out on the back deck with several other teammates, so we head that way. Zack has removed his tie and jacket, and his right arm is in a soft cast and held in place by a shoulder harness. It's the first time I've seen him since the accident, only the second time I've been around him, and I'm awkwardly at a loss for what to say.
We walk up to the group, and for the first time Garrett lets my hand go so he can give Zack a hug. It's an awkward one because men don't hug well, and plus Zack's arm is in a sling, but I see the briefest of smiles flit across Zack's face before sadness filters back in place.
Stepping forward, I reach my arms up, and thankfully, Zack bends down to accept my hug. His good arm goes around my waist.
"I'm so sorry, Zack. I just don't even have the right words to say," I tell him, somewhat lamely.
Pulling away, I'm rewarded with a faint smile from him. "Thank you. And thanks for coming."
Thankfully, the guys all lapse back into hockey talk, going over the highlights of Tuesday's game. Zack leans back against his deck railing and listens, but doesn't make any comments.
Looking around, I see Sutton and Alex standing down in the yard, talking to a couple I don't recognize. Reaching out, I give Garrett's arm a quick squeeze then walk down the deck steps. When I approach the group, Sutton gives me a warm smile and a hug. "Hey, you."
"Hey," I say softly, and then Alex makes introductions.
"Olivia...this is Mike and Kelly Malone. Mike was on the second line with Zack last season but then got traded to Chicago."
As I shake Kelly and Mike's hands, Alex adds on, "This is Olivia Case. She's Sutton's cousin, but more important, she's apparently the woman that brought Garrett to heel."
Sutton snorts, and Mike's and Kelly's jaws drop. I glance at Alex and he's shooting me a wide grin.
"So, you're dating Garrett?" Mike asks incredulously. "As in...seen him more than two...three times?"
It's hilarious how ironclad Garrett's reputation was, and my laugh is full-throated. "We've been seeing each about six weeks now."
"Unbelievable," Kelly says with awe and respect. "I didn't think he had it in him."
"Well, don't underestimate Olivia's charms. She played hard to get, and Garrett went a-chasin'," Alex says with a laugh.
Yeah...I didn't play all that hard to get, having slept with Garrett on our first date. But I wasn't about to say that.
Instead, I give them my best and most mischievous smile, and tell them, "He was ready to fall. I just happened to be standing the closest."
"You have that backward," Garrett says from behind me. I don't even get to turn around as his arms wrap around my chest and I'm hauled back into him. "She happened to be standing near me, and only after I met her was I ready to fall."
Mike Malone just stares at Garrett with his eyes practically bugging out of his head, and Kelly sighs with dreamy eyes. "That's so sweet." Then her eyes sort of harden up, and she turns to her husband, slapping him on the arm. "Why can't you be that sweet?"
"Ow," Mike grumbles, rubbing his arm. "I am sweet to you. I'm very romantic."
Kelly snorts and we all start laughing. Garrett reaches a hand out to Mike and they give a quick fist bump, then flutter their fingers at each other. "It's good to see you, Mike," Garrett says. "We miss you here."
"Yeah, wish I could say it was nice to be back, but, fuck...never thought it would be for a funeral."
The mood suddenly turns somber, and we all nod in agreement.
"Does anyone know what happened?" Mike asks.
"They're still investigating, but another vehicle came over into Zack's lane of traffic. He swerved hard to the right to avoid it and lost control. Flipped the car down into a deep ditch. Apparently, Gina wasn't wearing her seat belt and got thrown from the vehic
le."
"Jesus Christ," Mike says through gritted teeth. "Why wasn't she wearing her seat belt? That's not like Gina."
"Who knows?" Alex says. "I expect he'll talk about it when he's ready. We've not been asking too many questions."
"Yeah...I get that," Mike says in commiseration. "Just hate it for the dude. And now...single father and, fuck...how do you tell a little boy his mom isn't coming back?"
The question lays unanswered and heavy among us. Something so simple that could have saved her life. Just a freak accident, a moment in time, and a poor decision. In just a blink her life was over, and we haven't even really calculated the devastation it's left behind.
"How is he doing?" Kelly asks as her gaze flicks back and forth between Garrett and Alex.
Alex shrugs and Garrett's arms tighten around me tensely. Finally, Sutton pipes up. "He's still sort of in shock, I think. I'm not sure he's really accepted what happened."
"I don't see how you ever accept something like that," Garrett says to no one in particular. Or maybe everyone. His words hang heavy with sadness, so I bring my hands up to hook over Garrett's, which are still wrapped around my chest.
"You find a way," Sutton says firmly. "Zack will find the strength to pull out of his grief. He just needs time."
"I don't know," Garrett says dubiously as he releases his hold on me. I turn my head to look up at him, and his eyes are filled with confusion. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks over his shoulder at Zack still standing up on the deck. When he turns back to our group, he looks directly at me. "I'm trying to imagine what he's feeling right now...and I can't even come close, and yet what I do imagine makes me sick to my stomach."