“I hear the birds returning to their nests. It’s getting dark.”
“Nothing else? Try with all your might. Let your soul escape your body so that it may hear.”
“I hear! I hear! The voice of a woman, far away, far away ... She’s lamenting, but I can’t catch the words.”
“I hear them perfectly. Listen to them yourself. What is she lamenting?”
Jesus rose and exerted all his strength: his soul escaped. It arrived at the village, entered the house and stopped in the courtyard.
“I hear ...” Jesus said, putting a finger to his lips.
“Speak.”
Tomb of silver, tomb of gold, gilded tomb,
Eat not the red lips, eat not the black eyes,
Eat not his tiny nightingale-voiced tongue ...
“Do you recognize the singer, Jesus of Nazareth?”
“Yes.”
“It’s Mary, the sister of Lazarus. She is still weaving her trousseau. She thinks you are dead, and weeps. Her snowy throat is uncovered; her necklace of turquoises bears down upon her bosom. Her whole body is wet with sweat—and smells: smells like bread freshly removed from the oven, like the ripe quince, like soil after a rain. Get up. Let us go and console her.”
“And Magdalene?” Jesus cried, frightened.
The angel took him by the arm and sat him down once more on the ground. “Magdalene,” he said tranquilly. “Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you: she’s dead.”
“Dead?”
“She was killed. Hey, where are you going, Jesus of Nazareth, with your fists all clenched like that? Whom are you off to murder—God? It was he who killed her. Sit down! The All-Holy threw an arrow, pierced her at the highest peak of her happiness, and now she remains above, immortal. Can there be a greater joy for a woman? She will not see her love fade, her heart turn coward, her flesh rot away. I was there the whole time he was killing her, and I saw what happened. She lifted her hands to heaven and shouted, ‘Thank you, God. This is what I wanted!’ ”
But Jesus flared up. “Only dogs have such a longing for submission—dogs and angels! I’m not a dog and I’m not an angel. I’m a man, and I shout, Unjust! Unjust! Almighty, it was unjust of you to kill her. Even the most boorish of wood-choppers trembles to cut down a tree in bloom, and Magdalene had blossomed from her roots right up to the topmost branches!”
The angel took him in his arms and caressed his hair, shoulders, knees; spoke to him quietly, tenderly. It became dark at last. A breeze blew, the clouds scattered and a large star appeared. It must have been the Evening Star.
“Be patient,” he said to him, “submit, do not despair. Only one woman exists in the world, one woman with countless faces. This one falls; the next rises. Mary Magdalene died, Mary sister of Lazarus lives and waits for us, waits for you. She is Magdalene herself, but with another face. Listen ... She sighed again. Let us go and comfort her. Within her womb she holds—holds for you, Jesus of Nazareth—the greatest of all joys: a son—your son. Let us go!”
The angel stroked his friend tenderly and slowly lifted him from the ground. The two now stood together under the lemon trees. Above them, the Evening Star went down, laughing.
Little by little Jesus’ heart softened. In the humid half darkness the faces of Mary Magdalene and Mary sister of Lazarus were mixing, becoming one. The night arrived, all perfume, and covered them.
“Come,” mumbled the angel, placing his round, fuzzy arm about Jesus’ waist. His breath smelled of nutmeg and damp soil. Jesus leaned his head against him, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He wanted the breath of the guardian angel to descend to his very bowels.
Smiling, the angel unfolded one of his wings. The night was accompanied by a heavy frost, and he wrapped his thick green wings around Jesus so that he would not be cold. Once more the woman’s lament, like a peaceful springtime drizzle, was audible in the damp air: Tomb of silver, tomb of gold ...
“Let us go,” said Jesus, and he smiled.
ALL NIGHT LONG Jesus skimmed over the ground wrapped in the green wings and hugging the angel tightly around the waist. A large moon had climbed into the sky. It was odd tonight, and merry. On it, instead of seeing Cain slay Abel, you saw a wide, happy mouth, two peaceful eyes and two well-nourished cheeks bathed in light: the fully circular face of a night-roaming woman in love. The trees fled; the night birds spoke like human beings. The mountains opened, drew the two nocturnal wanderers within and closed again behind them.
What happiness this is: to fly, skimming over the earth just as we do in our dreams! Life has become a dream. Can this be the meaning of Paradise? ... He wanted to ask the angel but remained quiet, for he feared that by speaking he might wake himself up.
He looked around him. How very light the spirits of the stones, the air, the mountain, had become: as when you sit with friends, your heart heavy, and the cool wine comes and you drink; and little by little your mind lightens, hovers, sails above your head, becomes a rosy cloud; and the world, all gold and air, is reflected on it upside down.
Once more he started to turn in order to speak to the angel, but the other placed his finger on his lips, smiled at him, and gently told him to be still.
They must have neared some village, for the cocks were announcing the daybreak. The moon had now rolled behind the mountains and dawn peacefully illuminated the world. The earth grew sober; time became sensible again. Mountain, village and olive grove went back and stood once more where God had placed them to await the end of the world. Here was the beloved road, there the compassionate village of Bethany amid its olives, figs and vineyards. There too was the refreshing house of friendship, with the holy loom and the lighted fire and the two sisters, the two sleepless flames. ...
“Here we are,” said the angel.
Smoke was rising from the flue on the roof. The two sisters must have already awakened and lighted the fire.
“Jesus of Nazareth,” said the angel, unwrapping his wing from around him, “the two sisters lighted a fire, did the milking first thing in the morning and are now preparing the milk for you. On our way, didn’t you want to ask me the meaning of Paradise? Thousands of small joys, Jesus of Nazareth. To knock at a door, to have a woman open it for you, to sit down in front of the fire, to watch her lay the table for you; and when it is completely dark, to feel her take you in her arms. That is the way the Saviour comes: gradually—from embrace to embrace, son to son. That is the road.”
“I understand,” said Jesus. He stopped in front of the indigo-colored door and grasped the knocker, but the angel held him back.
“Don’t be in a hurry,” he said. “Listen, we’d better not separate any more. I’m afraid to leave you all alone and undefended—so I’ll come with you. I’ll turn myself into a Negro boy, the one you saw under the lemon trees, and you can say I’m a young slave who runs errands for you. I don’t want you to take the wrong road again and get lost.”
No sooner had he spoken than a Negro boy stood before Jesus. His head reached the man’s knees, he had broad white teeth, two golden rings in his ears; and he was holding a basket filled to overflowing.
“Here, Master,” he said with a smile. “Gifts for the two sisters. Silk clothing, earrings, bracelets, fans made of precious feathers—the complete feminine armor. Now you can knock at the door.”
Jesus knocked. He heard the sound of clogs in the yard and then a sweet voice called, “Who’s there?”
Jesus blushed scarlet. He recognized the voice: it was Mary’s. The door opened and the two sisters fell at his feet.
“Rabbi, we worship your Passion, we salute your holy resurrection. Welcome!”
“Allow me to touch your breast, Rabbi, to see if it’s really you,” said Mary.
“Mary, he’s flesh, real flesh,” Martha exclaimed, “flesh—like us. Don’t you see? And look, there’s his shadow on our doorstep.”
Jesus listened, and smiled. He felt the two sisters touching him, smelling him, rejoicing.
“Martha and Ma
ry, twin flames: it’s fine to see you. Tranquil, humble, courteous house of men: it’s fine to see you. We are still alive, we still hunger, act and weep. Glory be to God!”
While still talking and greeting the two sisters, he entered the house.
“It’s fine to see you, fireplace and loom and kneading trough, and table and pitcher and beloved lamp! Faithful servants of woman, I bow and worship your grace. When woman arrives at the gate of Paradise she will stop and ask, ‘Lord, will my companions enter too?’
“ ‘What companions?’ God will ask her.
“ ‘Here—the trough, cradle, lamp, pitcher and loom. If they don’t go in, neither do I.’
“And goodhearted God will laugh. ‘You’re women; can I refuse you a favor? Enter, all of you. Paradise is so full of troughs, cradles and looms, I have no place left for the saints.”’
The two women laughed. Turning, they saw the small Negro with the overflowing basket.
“Rabbi, who is this boy?” Mary asked. “I like his teeth.”
Jesus sat down in front of the hearth. They brought milk, honey and whole-wheat bread. Jesus’ eyes filled with tears.
“The seven heavens were not big enough for me,” he said, “nor the seven great virtues nor the seven great ideas. And now, what miracle is this, my sisters? A tiny house is big enough for me, and a mouthful of bread, and the simple words of a woman!”
He marched up and down the house as its master, brought in an armful of vine branches from the yard, fed the fire. The flames leaped up. He bent over the well, drew water and drank. He put out his hands, placed them on the shoulders of Martha and Mary and took possession of them.
“Dearest Martha and Mary,” he said, “I shall change my name. They killed your brother, whom I raised from the dead. I shall come and sit in the place where he sat, here in the corner; I shall take his ox-goad, I shall plow, sow and harvest his fields. When I return in the evening my sisters will wash my weary feet and lay the table for me. Then I shall sit by the fire, on his stool. My name is Lazarus.”
While he spoke the small Negro bewitched him with his large eyes. The more he looked at him, the more Jesus’ face changed, as did his whole body: head, chest, thighs, hands and feet. He grew more and more to resemble Lazarus, a ripe, mature Lazarus, all health and strength, with a bull neck, sunburned chest and huge gnarled hands. The two sisters watched this metamorphosis in the half-light and trembled.
“I’ve changed body. I’ve changed soul. Hello! I proclaim war against poverty and fasting. The soul is a lively animal; it wants to eat. This mouth beneath my beard and mustache is the soul’s mouth, the only mouth the soul has. I declare war against chastity. An infant sits mute and numb in the womb of every woman. Open the doors and let him out! He who does not beget, murders. ... Are you crying, Mary?”
“How else can I respond, Rabbi? We women have no other answer.”
Martha opened wide her arms. “We women,” she said, “are two arms incurably open. Come in, my Rabbi. Sit down. Command. You are the master of the house.”
Jesus’ face shone. “I’ve finished wrestling with God,” he said. ‘We have become friends. I won’t build crosses any more. I’ll build troughs, cradles, bedsteads. I’ll send a message to have my tools brought from Nazareth; I’ll have my embittered mother come too, so that she can bring up her grandchildren and feel some sweetness on her lips at last, poor thing.”
One of the women leaned her bosom against his knees; the other took his hand and would not let it go. In front of the fire the small Negro had propped his cheek on his knees and was pretending to sleep. But from between his long eyelashes his black eyes watched Jesus and the two women, and a sly, contented smile spread across his face.
Mary, her bosom leaning against Jesus’ knees, was speaking. “I was sitting at the loom, Rabbi, working your Passion—a cross, with thousands and thousands of swallows all around—into a white blanket. I was shuttling the black and red threads and singing a dirge; and you heard me, pitied me and came.”
Martha waited quietly for her sister to finish. Then she commenced. “I know nothing except how to knead bread, wash clothes and say yes. Those are my only graces, Rabbi. I have a premonition that you’ll choose my sister as your wife, but allow me to breathe in the air of married life along with you: allow me to make and air your beds and take charge of all the household needs.”
She stopped, sighed, and then: “The girls of our village sing a song, a very bitter song. They sing it in the springtime, the days when the birds sit on their eggs. Instead of reciting it, let me sing it to you so that you’ll understand, because its bitterness lies in the tune:
Ho, you! beardless stalwarts—
I’m weary of selling, of selling myself
And finding no buyer.
I offer all at a bargain, including myself:
First come, first served!
Whoever gives me a swallow’s egg,
I shall grant him my lips;
Whoever gives me an eagle’s egg,
I shall grant him my breasts;
And whoever gives me a stab,
I shall grant him my heart!
Her eyes filled with tears. Mary entwined her arms around the man’s waist as though she feared he was going to be taken from her.
Martha felt a knife pierce her heart, but she gathered up courage and spoke again. “Rabbi, I want to say just one thing more to you, and then I’ll get up and leave you with Mary. Once there was a robust landowner named Boaz who lived near here, in Bethlehem. It was summer and his slaves had reaped, threshed, winnowed and made stacks on the threshing floor, the wheat on the right, the chaff on the left. He lay down between the two stacks and went to sleep. In the middle of the night a poor woman named Ruth came quietly, in order not to waken him, and sat at his feet. She was a childless widow and had suffered much. The man felt the warmth of her body at his feet. He lowered his hand, searched, found her and raised her to his breast. ... Do you understand, Rabbi?”
“Yes. Speak no more.”
“I’m leaving,” said Martha, and she rose.
The two remained alone. Taking a mat and the blanket which was decorated with the cross and the swallows, they went up to the roof of the house. A merciful cloud covered the sun. They hid under the embroidered blanket so that God would not see them, and began to caress each other. Once, the cover slipped off for a moment and Jesus opened his eyes. He saw the Negro boy sitting on the edge of the roof. He was holding a shepherd’s pipe and piping, his eyes staring far off in the direction of Jerusalem.
The next day the whole village stopped by to admire the new Lazarus. The small Negro ran errands, drew water from the well, milked the ewes, helped Martha to start the fire and then curled up on the doorstep and played his pipe. Loaded with gifts of ears of corn, milk, dates or honey, the villagers came to greet the strange visitor who looked so much like Lazarus. They saw the Negro on the doorstep, teased him and laughed. He laughed too.
The blind village chief entered, put out his hand and examined Jesus’ knees, thighs and shoulders. Then he shook his head and burst out laughing.
“Humph! Are you all blind?” he yelled at the villagers who had filled the yard. “This isn’t Lazarus. His breath doesn’t smell the same, his flesh is kneaded differently, and his bones are held firmly together by plenty of meat. A cleaver couldn’t separate them.”
Jesus sat in the yard, braided together truths and lies, and laughed. “Don’t be afraid, lads, I’m not Lazarus. It’s all over with him. It’s just that my name is Lazarus, Master Lazarus—I’m a carpenter. An angel with green wings led me to this house and I entered.” He looked at the Negro, who had doubled up with laughter.
Time ran on like immortal water, and irrigated the world. The grain matured, the grapes began to glisten, the olives filled with oil, the blossoming pomegranate trees bore fruit. Autumn overtook them, winter arrived, and their son was born. Lying-in after the birth, Mary the weaver admired the newborn with no end of admiration
. “My God, how did this miracle issue from my womb? I drank of the immortal water,” she would say with a smile, “I drank of the immortal water: I shall not die!”
It is deep night, and raining. Welcoming heaven into its bowels, the gaping earth turns it into mud. Master Lazarus, stretched out in the deep of night amid half-finished cradles and troughs on the wood shavings of his workshop, listens to the thunder and thinks about his newborn son and about God. He is pleased. It is the first time that God has entered his mind in the form of a child. In the adjoining room he hears him cry and laugh; hears him dance at his mother’s feet. Is God then so close, he thinks, stroking his black beard. Are the rosy soles of his feet so tender, is he so ticklish; does he laugh so easily, this Almighty God, when the fingers of man caress him?
The small Negro yawned. He had pretended to be asleep in the other corner, next to the door. Hearing the mother cuddle the newborn, he smiled with satisfaction. Now in the night, when no one saw him, he had become an angel again and was relaxing, his green wrings spread over the shavings.