The queen walked down the steps, studying me. I wondered if I was ever going to get a chance to speak, but my gut told me to wait, because none of this was going quite how I expected it to. I was wary, uncertain if I was being led to a cliff and any minute I would be pushed over it.
“Still, you conspired to build weapons,” she continued, “providing the fugitives with materials that could have brought great destruction upon the kingdoms, but my Rahtan tells me the Watch Captain deceived you and his purposes were not your purposes. That you only wanted to protect your interests against aggressors. Should I believe her?”
I started to answer, but she shut me down again. “It was rhetorical. I always believe and trust the judgment of my Rahtan. It’s you I’m still leery of.” She pursed her lips. “But Captain Illarion is an accomplished liar, and in fact, even my father and I were greatly deceived by him.”
She walked in a circle around the room as if thinking. I looked at Kazi, whose eyes were on me now, her pupils tight beads. The king’s eyes drilled into me too. Something about this was all wrong. I felt like a lone fish in a barrel, and everyone else in the room had a spear.
The queen stopped circling and faced me again. “I’ve also been enlightened about your family’s long history, perhaps longest of any of the kingdoms. Kazimyrah says you claim to be descended from the leader of the Ancients—the first family—and she’s seen some evidence of it herself.”
“It’s not a claim. It’s the truth,” I said, not waiting for an invitation to speak.
“Tell me something about it, then. I want to hear it in your own words.”
“The Ballenger history?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I hesitated, still uncertain where this was going, wondering just what Kazi had told the queen, because it seemed she had said a lot. The queen waited for my answer. “All right,” I answered slowly. This wasn’t what I thought I’d be speaking about. I started at the beginning with Aaron Ballenger, the chief commander of the Ancients. “He was forced to run, like everyone else during the Last Days, when the seat of his command was destroyed.” I explained about his struggle to survive, and his final effort to get a group of children to a faraway shelter, and then his murder by scavengers. “Before he died, he passed the responsibility of leadership to his grandchild, Greyson. He was the eldest but only fourteen.” I told her how he and twenty-two other children struggled to survive in the Tor’s Watch vault while predators waited outside. She listened intently, but she seemed to be studying me too, and I became self-conscious of every move I made. “They finally learned to defend themselves and eventually ventured out to lay the first stones of Tor’s Watch. And that was the first generation. We have centuries of history after that.”
“That’s quite impressive,” she answered. “I have a keen interest in history. I’ve discovered that there are several histories on this continent, and I’ve learned something from them all, but yours is especially intriguing. It seems that perhaps all the kingdoms have been remiss in failing to acknowledge the place of Tor’s Watch on the continent, however small it might be.”
She tapped her lips, her gaze dissecting me, long seconds passing, and then her chin lifted, like a seasoned trader at the arena ready to make a final offer. “Here’s what I’d like to propose, Jase Ballenger. I’d like to suggest to the Alliance that they take Tor’s Watch under consideration to be acknowledged and accepted as another kingdom on the continent. However, as Kazimyrah says, your ways are not our ways and that presents a few prickly problems.” She stated the things we would have to change in order for this to happen and that included ending our blatant support of the black-market trade. “It might be rampant across the continent, but it is still theft. And then there’s the matter of your borders. You would have to establish clear ones.”
I didn’t respond, still thinking all this was some sort of trick.
“You’re not willing to do this?” she asked.
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch. Some things are just the right thing to do. Kazimyrah told me you understood that concept. And it would serve our interests too, to have a reliable ally in that region.”
There it was. I heard the implication that King Monte was incompetent. I couldn’t disagree, though it seemed Kazi had embellished the story about him choosing the settlement site. I still wasn’t convinced he knew it was our land.
“And it’s that simple? Just like that we’re a recognized nation?”
“No,” the king replied, jiggling the stirring baby on his shoulder. “It’s not that simple at all. It could take months, even years for all the kingdoms to agree, and it would include several investigative trips by ambassadors. But the queen is very persuasive, not to mention she has an inroad with the King of Dalbreck. The kingdoms will go along, eventually, providing you agree to the terms.”
“Fifty miles,” I said. “Those are our borders. Fifty miles in all directions from Tor’s Watch.”
“But that would include Hell’s Mouth,” the queen noted.
“That’s right,” I confirmed. “It’s always been ours. It’s time to settle any question about it.”
She bit the corner of her lip. “That might be a little trickier if the King of Eislandia will not willingly cede the lands to you. He is still the sitting monarch.”
“We’ll persuade him,” I said.
“By lawful means, I assume?”
Whose laws? I wanted to ask. I had racaa and antelope blood in mind, but I answered, “Of course.”
“Maybe the persuading would be better left to us,” the king said, as if he had read my mind. “And considering the longer Ballenger history of stewardship of the land, it shouldn’t be hard to argue for its return into your hands.”
The queen nodded. “Very well, then, if the other kingdoms are in agreement, Tor’s Watch will become the thirteenth kingdom.”
“The first,” I corrected.
The queen’s eyes narrowed, but I saw a glimmer behind them. She was amused by this. “You are trouble, just as Kazimyrah warned me.” She sighed. “Very well then, the first.”
She said they would put me up in quarters tonight, have papers for me to sign in the morning, and then I could leave. I would hear from them in several weeks. A delivery of Valsprey and a trainer for them would be made to aid in communications. For now, they would provide me with supplies for my trip home and an escort if I required one. “You’re free to go.”
Go? Just walk out the door and not look back? I looked at Kazi. She was a rigid soldier, her gaze fixed on an empty wall, but her hands were fists at her sides. I had just gained everything my father had ever dreamed of—what generations of Ballengers had dreamed of—the acknowledgment of all the kingdoms that would establish our authority once and for all. We would be a recognized nation ourselves. And yet, I stood there, unable to leave. I should have felt light with victory but instead a heavy weight pulled at me.
I looked back at the queen. “Thank you,” I said. I knew I had been dismissed, but I still stood there. The queen looked at me oddly as if she noticed my hesitation. She glanced at Kazi, then back at me. Her eyes suddenly turned sharp again.
“On second thought,” said the queen, “it would be the height of foolishness to strike a bargain with a band of outlaws. I’m not sure I can really trust you, Jase Ballenger. You might revert to your old, lawless ways. What do you think, King Jaxon?”
He looked startled for a moment, then answered, “I completely agree.” He stepped close to his wife, shaking his head disapprovingly. “I don’t trust him. Look at that smirk of his. I don’t think it’s safe to let him go.”
Was this the trick they’d been planning all along? My blood raced. “What—”
“Though I could send a trusted representative along to keep an eye on you,” the queen suggested. “An ambassador of sorts. What do you think, Patrei? Do you think I should trust you?”
I stared at her, the air punched out of me, but then, the glimmer ag
ain—I saw the glimmer in her eyes, and it struck me. I understood what she was doing.
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
KAZI
The queen made me no promises. She had listened carefully to everything I told her, and I watched her expressions change as I spoke. Sometimes I saw anger, surprise, confusion, and sometimes I saw sadness, or maybe I was only seeing myself reflected in her eyes. I kept to the facts, only telling her things that pertained to the kingdoms and what I observed. I didn’t tell her about Jase and me together, nothing about the wilderness, because that was a story that would take me a lifetime to tell.
When I finished, she told me she would consider everything I said—including what I had boldly asked for—but she had to see the prisoner for herself. She had to speak to him, look him in the eye, get a sense of who he really was, and then she would decide, but she sped up the process, calling him to the receiving hall immediately.
I was right behind the queen in the passage as she walked to address Jase, but just before entering, I stopped and pressed myself up against the wall. I couldn’t go in. I couldn’t face him. I’d heard his angry shouts echoing down the hallway—his resentment and bitterness. There were some things I could try to make right for him, but some things would be forever broken.
“Kazimyrah,” the queen called, “is this the prisoner you told me about?”
I had no choice but to enter the room. I pushed away from the wall and created composure where there was none, molding my dread and regret into one step and then another, calling upon old tricks, fooling myself one more time that I could do this. Juggle Kazi. Pivot. But there was nothing left to juggle, no more directions to turn.
“Yes, Your Majesty. It’s him.”
I fixed my eyes on the far wall, listening to the charges, waiting. It felt like giant hands pressed down on my shoulders, like every one of my bones was about to crack under the strain. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand, but after only a few minutes, I knew. I heard it in her voice. It was firm and familiar, a voice I had first heard six years ago when I spit in her face. Bring her along to the Sanctum. Back then, I couldn’t hear the compassion in her voice. I was too frightened, too angry. But I heard it now, and I wondered if this was another one of those things you could only perceive from a distance.
I watched her closely as she listened to him tell the Ballenger history, gauging and interpreting her every move and blink. I knew she heard the pride in his voice, the determination, and the responsibility he bore. She was seeing all the same things in Jase that I saw, who he really was, and everything he could still be.
It was all going well, better than I could have hoped. Tor’s Watch was to be recognized for what it was, the first realm of the land. I took a chance and looked at Jase. He was leaving. He was going back. It was what I had wanted, what I hoped for, because Hell’s Mouth did need him. His family needed him. But then he looked at me, and my mind became a windstorm, memories whirling in a riotous tunnel, and I saw it all sweeping away, out of my reach.
Then the path suddenly veered terribly, and everything spun out of control, the storm exploding right in the middle of the receiving hall. My head pounded, trying to quickly retrace where it all went wrong.
I’m not sure I can really trust you, Jase Ballenger.
I don’t think it’s safe to let him go.
What do you think, Patrei? Do you think I should trust you?
I was frozen, afraid to move, my eyes locked on his, my breath trapped in my chest waiting for Jase’s reply. Say yes, Jase! Tell her! Tell her you’ll keep your word!
But instead he hesitated.
Tell her!
He looked back at the queen. “No,” he answered. “I don’t think you can trust me at all. I might slip back into my old habits.”
What was he saying? Had they all gone mad?
“That’s just what I thought,” the queen replied. “I’m afraid I’d need someone who was equal to your sly ways, someone clever enough to keep you in line. Someone already familiar with Tor’s Watch.” The queen looked up at me. “What about you, Kazimyrah? Would you be willing to take on this position? Would you be willing to go back with the Patrei?”
I looked at her, trying to grasp what was she saying. Go back? The room bloomed with stifling heat, the air sucked out in a sudden whoosh. Ambassador? She didn’t understand. “I’m afraid, Your Majesty, that would be impossible. I’ve left considerable ill feelings behind me in Tor’s Watch. I wouldn’t be a wise choice for a liaison.” I looked at Jase, my eyes stinging. “And I’m sure the Patrei wouldn’t want me to go back with him. Everyone there despises me by now.”
There was a long, fragile silence, then Jase shook his head. “Not everyone.”
He crossed the room, and no one tried to stop him. He walked up the steps and looked down at me, his eyes searching mine, and then he pulled me into his arms, crushing me, his face nestled in my hair. “I already told you,” he whispered in my ear, “and I won’t take it back. I love you, Kazi of Brightmist, and I will never stop loving you, not through a thousand tomorrows. Come back with me. Please.”
My face buried in his shoulder, breath jumping in my throat. Make a wish. One will always come true. My fingers curled into his shirt, holding on to what I had thought was far beyond my reach, trying to understand what was happening, and then words tumbled from my mouth, words I didn’t want to hold back any longer, no matter how risky they might be. I didn’t care if every god in the heavens was listening. “Le pavi ena.” I gasped. “I love you, Jase Ballenger.”
“I know,” he said. “I’ve always known.”
I turned my face to his and our lips met, a kiss that was salty with tears. “My tomorrows are yours, Jase. I want them all to be with you.”
We held on to each other, tight, as if weaving some solid part of us together so nothing could ever separate us again, and when we finally parted there was no one left in the room but us, and I guessed the queen knew that my answer to her was yes.
* * *
Jase helped me with Mije’s saddle and pack. This time on our trek across the wilderness together we would have ample supplies and boots on our feet. We’d already said good-bye to the queen and king, and Jase had signed the necessary papers to begin the process of Tor’s Watch becoming a recognized nation on the continent.
He buckled the strap on my bag. “So does this mean I have to call you Ambassador Brightmist now?” he asked.
“Or perhaps Magistrate Brightmist,” I answered. “I think that is the queen’s intention.”
He pulled me into his arms. “I’ll definitely be misbehaving, just to make sure you have something to report. I wouldn’t want you to lose your job.”
We kissed again, like it was all delicate and new, and wondrous, a turn neither of us saw coming, and I knew I would fiercely fight to stay on this path, no matter what it took or what it cost me.
“Stop, would you?” Synové called.
Jase and I stepped apart as she and Wren walked over. Synové held up a small package tied with twine. “Just a little good-bye treat for the trail.”
“I’m not sure there’s room for one more thing,” I said.
“Trust me, you’ll appreciate it once you’re out there in the middle of nowhere.”
“I’ll find room,” Jase offered and took it from me. When he turned his back, Synové made all kinds of suggestive eye signals. Wren only rolled hers. I wished they could come back to Tor’s Watch too, but the queen had another mission for them once they had rested. I also suspected she wanted to spend some time with Synové to review how Bahr met his fate. It was already becoming legend throughout the settlement.
Wren shifted on her feet. Hissed. Pulled out her ziethe, spun it, and shoved it back in its scabbard. She shook her head. “You sure about this? Who will have your back?”
“I’ll be fine,” I answered, though I was still uneasy too. I knew Wren had heard the same deadly threats I had in those first hours after we had taken Jase and the
prisoners. His family had been quite articulate in their rage. No doubt the whole town held similar thoughts by now too. I would be a prime target.
Jase finished stuffing the package in my bag and turned around. “I’ll have her back, and I promise you, once I tell my family everything, they’ll be grateful to Kazi.” Jase told me Bahr and Sarva admitted to him they planned to kill the whole family, taunting him with some of the ugly details, especially regarding his sisters and mother. It had prompted their last scuffle. Once they no longer had a use for Jase, provoking him brought them sick pleasure.
Wren still looked unconvinced, but she nodded.
Synové leaned up unexpectedly and kissed Jase’s cheek. “Give that to Mason for me, will you?” she chirped. “I know he must be missing me terribly by now. Let him know I got here okay. It will be such a relief for him.”
Jase couldn’t suppress a grin, and maybe a bit of an eyeroll. We’d heard Mason’s threats too, not to mention we’d only seen him grudgingly tolerate her attentions in the first place. “I’ll let him know.”
We stood there awkwardly, none of us wanting to say good-bye. I shrugged. “Then I guess this is it.”
“Nooo,” Synové said and winked. “It comes later.”
Wren jabbed her with her elbow, then hugged me. Synové joined in. “Blink last,” Synové whispered before she let me go.
“Always,” I answered.
“Remember, Patrei,” Wren warned as they walked away, “watch her back, or we’ll come after yours.”
* * *
Late afternoon we stopped at a spring to water the horses and to rest. We’d been estimating how long it would take us to get back to Tor’s Watch. Three to four weeks at minimum, depending on the weather. The crispness of autumn nipped the air.
“First thing I need to do when I get home is to make amends with Jalaine and put her back on at the arena,” Jase said. “She loves her job even if she complains about it.” He paused and looked at the ring on my finger as I filled a waterskin. The gold glinted in the sun. “And you’ll need to take that off before we get back.”