With a playful smirk, Christy turned and said, “Where have you been?”
Todd had a stack of books under his arm and looked red in the face, as if he had been working out. “I was hung up with the counselor. When I got to the bookstore, your manager said I just missed you.”
“It looks like you’re all set with your books,” Christy said.
“I only need two more,” Todd said. He reached for Christy’s arm and pulled her toward the door of The Java Jungle. “Do you have any money on you?”
“Yes, about five dollars.”
“Good. I’m broke. How about buying me something to drink?”
The booths inside the air-conditioned café were packed. Only one table remained open. They dropped their books on it and spent all but three cents of Christy’s five-dollar bill on drinks and snacks.
“Did you figure out your schedule?” Christy asked.
He grinned.
“I take it that means yes.”
“I can graduate in December,” Todd said.
“Really?”
Todd nodded proudly. “You were so right about taking those two summer school classes after I got back from Europe. That’s what made the difference.”
“I don’t remember telling you to take summer school classes.”
“That’s right, that was Katie’s idea. She convinced me on the plane on the way home. Of course, she didn’t take any classes like she said she was going to.”
“She worked all summer,” Christy said. “That’s why she has time for a social life this fall and why I’m working every spare minute I have.”
“How did it go your first day on the job?” Todd asked.
This time Christy was the one who answered with only a grin.
“I take it that means you liked it.”
“I like it so much that I was daydreaming about owning my own bookstore someday.” She decided to leave out the part about being married to Todd and snuggling with him in front of the woodburning fireplace. “And having a vegetable garden,” she added.
“Now, would the vegetable garden be part of the bookstore?” Todd asked. “Were you thinking the garden would be in front of the store? Out back? Inside?”
“Sure,” Christy answered in an effort to avoid giving specifics. “Any of the aforementioned is possible. Don’t you think a vegetable garden sounds charming?”
Todd gave her a skeptical look.
“What about a woodburning fireplace?” Christy ventured further into her imaginary world and hoped Todd would find part of her dream appealing. “Do you like fireplaces?”
He leaned back in his chair and asked, “Now, would this fireplace be in the garden or in the bookstore?”
“Never mind.” Christy felt as if she was getting nowhere. “Some daydreams are best left undiscussed, I guess.”
Todd gave her hand a squeeze. “I like fireplaces. And I like you. I like hearing about your daydreams. The vegetable garden, though . . . I don’t know. But I know I like you.”
Christy smiled.
Go ahead. Say it. Say, “I love you, Todd.” Right here in the middle of The Java Jungle with all these people. Stand up and shout it!
Christy opened her mouth, but what came out was “I like you, too.”
Todd grinned. “I like you a lot.”
“I like you a lot, too.”
“I like you more,” Todd said.
“No, I like you more.”
Todd leaned forward and, with the warmest glow ever in his clear blue eyes, said, “I love you, Kilikina.”
Christy froze. She couldn’t make her lips part. She couldn’t push out the words. A single tear was all that escaped her heart and raced down her cheek.
Todd moved his chair over so that he was right next to Christy. He kept his hand in hers. With patient, gentle words he said, “You don’t have to respond, Christy. I don’t want you to feel pressured. Ever. In any way. Just let me love you, okay?” He leaned over and kissed the tear where it clung to the edge of her jaw. “Just let me love you.”
8 Todd and Christy spent most of the rest of the day together. They dropped off their heavy books in their dorm rooms, sat together in the cafeteria, and then Todd walked Christy to her evening class. At nine, he was there to pick her up after class. As he agreed to do earlier, Todd went to the library with Christy to review her schedule with her.
Sitting close on a couch in the library’s lobby, they read the classes from the catalog and Christy began her list on a note pad. She felt good as she listed everything so she could see the schedule and figure out what worked.
“That’s it,” Todd said after reading through the list of required classes for an English literature major. “Do you want to go through the classes for the humanities major now?”
Christy did some math on the side of the page. “No, more and more I like the idea of being a lit major. It’s more focused than humanities, and literature fits me better. Like you said this morning at breakfast, I already have a save-the-world complex; a humanities major would only move me further in that direction. It would be like going back to the orphanage in Basel.”
Once Christy had everything written out, she stared at the paper and realized the list of classes was all that lay between her and a BA in English literature. It was bite-size, a clear road map.
“I think literature is a good major for you, especially if you want to open that bookstore someday.” Todd looked at Christy’s calculations. “Is that total right? You could finish in two semesters?”
Christy nodded. “That’s what the counselor told me, too. I had to see it for myself, but I could graduate next spring.”
Todd looked as if he had taken a deep breath and then dove, headfirst, someplace deep. She was certain that when he surfaced, he would hold sunken treasure in his fist.
Todd emerged after two full minutes from his underwater daydream. With a deep breath he said, “Okay.”
Okay? That’s all you’re going to tell me? Okay? Where did you just go? What did you see there, deep inside?
Christy knew that Todd wouldn’t tell. And why should he? She hadn’t yet given him the password that would allow him to open her heart’s safe so he could store his fistful of treasures there. But she already knew what he was thinking because she was thinking the same thing.
We can get married, then, can’t we, Todd? Katie wasn’t pushing it as much as I first thought she was, was she? We are in the final stretch. The only thing missing is my commitment. I have to decide. I have to know for sure, and you understand that, don’t you?
“Do you feel ready for your meeting with your counselor in the morning?” Todd asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
You’re going to wait for me, aren’t you, Todd? It doesn’t matter how long I take to make up my mind, your love for me is established.
“I better get back to my room.” Christy felt overwhelmed by her intense thoughts. “If Katie’s there, I need to talk things through with her.”
Todd walked Christy to her dorm and gave her a warm hug.
“Sweet dreams,” she whispered in his ear.
“Sweet dreams to you, too.”
She watched him walk away and felt as if an invisible string were attached to her heart. With each step Todd took, that string unraveled another loop. If anything or anyone ever threatened to sever that invisible string, Christy knew she would fight with every ounce of her being to keep that thread intact. She and Todd were connected. Strongly, deeply, wonderfully connected.
Opening the door to her room, Christy found Katie plopped in the beanbag chair, tears streaming down her face.
“Katie, are you okay?”
“Read this,” Katie said, holding up a letter.
Christy took the handwritten, one-page letter from her roommate and immediately checked the signature.
“Rick? You got a letter from Rick Doyle?”
Katie nodded and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “He says he’s sorry,” K
atie said before Christy had a chance to read the first line. “He got his life back together with God this summer, and he’s apologizing for not . . . how does he say it? For not treating me with respect.”
Christy scanned the opening paragraph. “It says, ‘I ran into Doug, and he told me you and Christy were going to Rancho this year.’ ”
“Keep going,” Katie said.
Christy read the second paragraph to herself and said, “He’s asking you to forgive him for being a jerk and not treating you with the dignity and respect you deserve.”
“Can you believe that?” Katie said. “I never expected anything like that to happen. Remember how just yesterday I said it would help if one of the guys who hurt me would apologize?”
Christy nodded and lowered herself to the edge of Katie’s unmade bed.
“This has to be the creepiest God-thing I’ve ever experienced,” Katie said. “I make that big declaration, and the very next day I pick up my mail and find this letter from Rick. At first I thought it might be a joke, but read that last part.”
“ ‘This summer I finally surrendered my life completely to Christ, and He’s real to me now. Very real. I just want to make things right with you, Katie. You don’t have to write me back. I know God has forgiven me. I hope you can, too.’ ”
Christy looked up. “He sounds like he really means it.”
Katie nodded. “Christy, I have to apologize to you, too. And I really mean it. I shouldn’t have left in such a huff yesterday. What you were telling me was all true. I just didn’t want to hear it.”
Christy rushed to her friend and gave her a hug. “I’m the one who needs to apologize. I was so insensitive, Katie. I’m sorry. I should have come to Sierra’s room last night so we could clear things up.”
“No, I needed time to think everything through. It took me a while to realize you were right. I need to start forgiving completely. I had decided this afternoon I was going to start by forgiving Rick because I think he hurt me the most. I went to the chapel after dinner and prayed, and then this.” Katie pointed to the letter Christy still held in her hand. “This blew me away. I mean, Rick Doyle is asking for my forgiveness. So what am I doing avoiding you? You and I are a team, Christy. We’ve waited for years to be roommates, and within the first week, I go and mess things up.”
“You didn’t mess anything up, Katie. We got off track, that’s all. We need to talk things through whenever we get upset with each other. For whatever reason.”
“You’re right,” Katie said. She rose and tucked the folded letter into the back flap of her Bible. “Did you check your mail today?”
“No, why?”
“Don’t you wonder if Rick wrote you, too?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. Rick didn’t exactly treat you with the utmost dignity while you were dating him.”
“But he and I settled it all back then,” Christy said. “I don’t think he has anything to apologize for. I didn’t exactly handle the relationship with a lot of sensitivity to him. I tend to get pretty intense about things and only see them from my point of view.”
Katie’s sly grin returned. “We all are basically self-centered, when you think about it. That’s why we need a Savior. Has Dr. Mitchell said that yet in Old Testament Survey? He said it all the time last year. Whenever we were studying about how all those heroes of faith had messed up so badly in the Old Testament, he would say, ‘And once again we see this is why we all need a Savior.’ ”
Christy smiled. She was thinking of Rick and the verse from John about how those who believe and receive Christ have the right to become God’s adopted children.
Rick is really, truly one of God’s kids now.
“You’re thinking about Rick, aren’t you?” Katie asked.
“How did you know?”
“I was thinking the same thing. The original ‘poser’ got saved for real.”
“Where did that word come from? What is a ‘poser’? I heard Todd use it a couple of times with the group in Sunday school.”
“You’ve been in the Alps too long,” Katie said. “I first heard it as a surfer term. A ‘poser’ is someone who acts like he can surf, but he never actually gets up on a board. You know the kind—they put surfing stickers on their cars, wear shirts with surf logos, and talk about how great the waves were last week, but they don’t surf. They just make you think they do.”
“Do you think that was the situation with Rick? He was just a ‘poser’ Christian when we were in high school?”
“Who knows? It’s for God to judge, not us. I’m just amazed he’s got it together now and he wrote me.”
“Are you going to write him back?” Christy asked.
“He didn’t include a return address.” Katie tilted her head. The gesture was especially charming now that her hair was short and wispy. It made her look playful rather than slightly frenzied, which is what that same gesture suggested when her hair was longer and swishy. “But Doug might know where he is. Or I could send a letter to his parents’ home in Escondido.”
As Christy got ready for bed, Katie cranked up her stereo and went to work composing a letter to Rick. By the time Christy had washed her face, brushed her teeth, and was snuggled under her covers, Katie the night owl was ready to talk.
“How does this sound: ‘Dear Rick, I got your letter, and it made me cry. Of course I forgive you, you big baboon. Now it’s my turn to ask you to forgive me. I don’t think I was exactly at my best as a Christian or as a friend while we were hanging out together. I’m so excited to hear about what God has been doing in your life. Let’s keep in touch, okay? Friends forever, Katie.’ What do you think?”
“Big baboon?”
“I had to say something like that, or he wouldn’t think it was from me.”
“Then it sounds good,” Christy said with a yawn. “It sounds like you, and it sounds sincere.”
“You’re not going to sleep now, are you?”
“Katie, it’s almost midnight.”
“But I’m going to write letters to all my lost loves. I want you to tell me if they sound okay.”
“I’ll read them in the morning.”
* * *
Christy never did read Katie’s letters. She thought of them on Friday, the end of their first week of classes. While they were checking their mailboxes before dinner, Christy remembered and asked Katie if she had ever mailed her letters.
“I only mailed the one to Rick.” Katie and Christy stepped out of the student center and strolled toward The Golden Calf. “My mom gave me his parents’ address, and I sent it there. The other letters didn’t need to be mailed because they ended up turning into one long letter I wrote to God asking Him to forgive me for not forgiving those guys. I put the letter in my Bible. On the back of it I wrote out some verses that really helped me. One of them was the part where Jesus is hanging on the cross and He says, ‘Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they’re doing.’ That verse helped me the most because it made me realize that most people don’t know what they’re doing when they hurt us.”
Christy was about to respond to Katie’s insight, when Matt came running across campus toward them.
Christy smiled at him and said, “Hey, Matt, where have you been all week? This is the first I’ve seen you.”
“Hi, Christy,” Matt said quickly. His gaze was fixed on Katie. “Wes just told me you’re Katie. Are you?”
A cute, flirty sort of grin lit up Katie’s face. The expression wasn’t typical for Katie, but it fit her new, softer, more sophisticated image. “That depends,” she said. “There’s probably more than one Katie on this campus. Which one are you looking for?”
Matt glanced at Christy and then at Katie and said, “I don’t know her last name.”
“Oh, really?” Katie played this moment for all it was worth. “What do you know about the Katie you’re looking for?”
“I’m trying to find the Katie who played in the softball game last Sunday afternoon agains
t Wes Jensen’s team.”
“That would be me.”
“Oh, good. Well, here’s the deal. Wes said you were supposed to take Christy’s place at their last game, but you sided with Sierra’s team and single-handedly beat our team.”
Christy hadn’t heard all this before.
“We’re trying to set up a rematch sometime this weekend,” Matt said. “Best two out of three. Sierra said you were going to stay with her team. I’m playing in the rematch, and if we could get you on our team, we’d win for sure. What can I do to convince you to join with Wes and me?”
Katie glanced at Christy. Then, with her dancing green eyes locked on Matt, Katie said, “That depends. How much money do you have?”
Christy wanted to burst out laughing when she saw the look on Matt’s face.
“How much were you thinking about?” Matt asked cautiously.
Katie started to laugh. Christy knew that laugh. It was Katie’s happiest laugh, the one she used when the two of them had gone searching for the statue of the Little Mermaid in Copenhagen last June. It was the laugh she used in Christy’s car her first day on the job as a Santa’s helper elf, when they tried to hide from Rick, and Katie’s pointed ear kept falling off.
“I’m only kidding,” Katie said to Matt. “But Todd tells me you know your way around a Volkswagen engine. If you can tell me why the dashboard lights won’t turn on in Baby Hummer, I might be persuaded to join you and Wes.”
“And what is a Baby Hummer?” Matt asked.
“My car. It’s a VW Thing.”
“The yellow one?” Matt asked. “That’s yours? Hey, I’ll check that Baby Hummer out any day. Where did you get it?”
“One of my brothers works at an auto body repair shop.”
“Do you know how rare those cars are in Wisconsin? My friend found one on the Internet that he wanted to buy, but he would have had to go to Mexico to get it.”
“She’s parked out in the side lot. Do you want to meet her after dinner?”
Christy rolled her eyes and pressed her lips together to keep the laughter from bubbling over as she watched her coy friend and bumbling Matthew Kingsley. It appeared the two of them had discovered each other at last.