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“Why should being Ephron Vestrit's daughter be a mark against me?” Althea's voice was very small. “My father was a good man. ”
“True. That he was. A very good man. ” For a moment Brashen's tone gentled. “But what you have to learn is that it isn't easy to stop being a Trader's daughter. Or son. The Bingtown Traders look like as solid an alliance you can imagine, from the outside. But you and I, we came from the inside, and the inside works against us. See, you're a Vestrit. All right. So there are some families that trade with you and profit, and other families that compete with you, and other families that are allied with those who compete with you . . . no one is an enemy, exactly. But when you go looking for work, it's going to be, well, like it was for me. 'Brashen Trell, eh, Keif Trell's son? Well, why don't you work for your family, boy? Oh, had a falling out? Well, I don't want to get on your father's bad side by hiring you. ' Not that they ever come right out and say it, of course, they just look at you and put you off and say, 'come back in four days,' only they aren't in when you come back. And those that don't get along with your family, well, they don't want to hire you, either, cause they like seeing you down in the dirt. ”
Brashen's voice was winding down, getting deeper and softer and slower. He was talking himself to sleep, Paragon thought, as he often did. He'd probably forgotten that Althea was even there. Paragon was overly familiar with Brashen's long litany of wrongs done him and injustices suffered by him. He was even more familiar with Brashen's caustic self-accusations of idiocy and worthlessness.
“So how did you survive?” Althea asked resentfully.
“Went to where it didn't matter what my name was. First boat I shipped out on was Chalcedean. They didn't care who I was, long as I would work hard and cheap. Meanest set of rotten bastards I ever shipped with. No mercy for a kid, no, not them. Jumped ship in the first harbor we put into. Left that same day, on a different boat. Not much better, but a little. Then we . . . ” Brashen's voice trailed off. For a moment Paragon thought he had fallen asleep. He heard Althea shifting about, trying to find a comfortable way to sit on the slanted deck. “. . . by the time I came back to Bingtown, I was a seasoned hand. Oh, was I seasoned. But still the same old damn thing. Trell's boy this, and Trell's son that . . . I'd thought I'd made something of myself. I actually tried to go to my father and patch things up. But he was not much impressed with what I'd made of myself. No, sir, he was not. What a horse's ass . . . so I went to every ship in the harbor. Every ship. No one was hiring Keif Trell's son. When I got to the Vivacia, I kept my scarf down low on my brow and kept my eyes on the deck. Asked for honest work for an honest sailor. And your father said he'd try me. Said he could use an honest man. Something about the way he said it . . . I was sure he hadn't recognized me, and I was sure he'd turn me off if I told him my name. But I did anyway. I looked at him and I said, 'I'm Brashen Trell. I used to be Keif Trell's son. ' And he said, 'That won't make your watch one minute shorter or longer, sailor. ' And you know. It never did. ”
“Chalcedeans don't hire women,” Althea said dully. Paragon wondered how much of Brashen's tale she had truly heard.
“Not as sailors,” Brashen agreed. “They believe a woman aboard ship will draw serpents after you. Because women bleed, you know. Lots of sailors say that. ”
“That's stupid,” she exclaimed in disgust.
“Yeah. Lots of sailors are stupid. Look at us. ” He laughed at his own jest, but she did not join him.
"There are other women sailors in Bingtown. Someone will hire me.
“Maybe, but not to do what you expect,” Brashen said harshly. 'Yes, there are women sailors, but most of the ones you see on the docks are working on their family boats, with fathers and brothers to protect them. Ship out alone on anything else, and you'd better choose early which shipmates you want to roll. If you're lucky, they'll be possessive enough to keep the others off you. If you're not lucky, they'll turn a nice profit from your services before you reach the next port. And most mates and captains will turn a blind eye to what goes on, to keep order on the ship. That's if they don't claim your services for themselves. “ He paused, then added grumpily, ”And you already knew all that. You couldn't grow up around sailors and not know it. So why are you even considering this?"
Anger engulfed her. She wanted to shout that she didn't believe it or demand to know why men had to be such pigs. But she did believe it, and she knew that Brashen could not answer that question any more than she could. Silence bled into the darkness between them, and even her anger deserted her.