* * * * * * *
Sheila D’Alosio eyed her father. “Dad?”
“Yes?”
“Uh, you know you look great.”
Truscott smiled. “Well, thank you honey.”
“How old are you now?”
“Uh, sixty I believe, that’s right, I’m sixty.”
“Sixty. Wow. Well, I guess it runs in the family.”
“Well, sure. You look great too, kiddo.”
“Thanks, but I’m referring to Victor.”
“Your baby?” He chuckled. “Well, he’s one year old, I guess he would look young, too!”
“Yes, but Dad, my pediatrician says he still appears to be no more than four or five months old.”
He tried to maintain his composure. “So he’s small for his age.”
She pushed back a lock of auburn hair that had been hanging in front of her right eye. “Dad, that may be so, but I’m worried.”
“Is he sick?”
“Oh no, Doctor McGraw says he’s a normal, healthy baby, but he’s -- he’s not aging!”
Her father smiled. “Honey, maybe little Vic’s found the proverbial Fountain of Youth!”
She forced a smile. “Yeah, I guess so.”
A day later, Truscott confronted Lanier with the news. “It’s working, Garrett, little Vic is a year old with the body of a two-month-old. And no side effects!”
“Bernard, are you sure?”
“His doctor says he’s healthy.”
“Physically, yes. But what about mentally? We have no idea if his mind is retarded as well. Is he a one-year old in the body of a two-month old, or strictly speaking, a baby totally ‘stuck’ at two months?”
“I believe we have that answer, Garrett. Your kittens are behaving for all the world like mature cats. They just look young. By the way, is one missing?”
Lanier sighed. “Yes, my lab assistant gave one away.”
Truscott’s eyes opened wide. “Gave one away!”
“I’m afraid so. Matt has a little girl cousin – Darcy, I think – anyway, she saw the calico and fell in love with it. Matt had no idea the kitten was a control in an experiment and I couldn’t tell him. Anyway-- ”
“Jesus. Bernard, they’re probably going to get it shots and what not. Pretty soon their vet’s going to wonder, don’t you think?”
Lanier started cleaning his glasses. “Apparently he already has. Matt told me Darcy’s mother asked him about it. I told him to say the cat just had stunted growth – you know, a ‘runt.’ Every litter has one. Unfortunately he’s been asking about the other two ‘kittens.’”
The hand over the head again. “Garrett, you need to get that animal back. Go to the pet store or the pound and get a normal kitten that looks like it if you have to and switch them, but you simply must--”
“Bernard!” It was almost a shout. “Bernard, are you going to switch babies before your grandchild is five and still looks like he’s one? What are you going to do, try and find somebody’s ‘normal’ baby and kidnap him?”
Truscott’s silence was deafening. He closed his eyes for a moment. “You’re right, Garrett, I guess the time is coming when we’ll have to take credit.”
“Or the blame.”
A STARTLING ANNOUNCMENT IN OHIO
Columbus (AP) – Two genetic researchers have announced they have developed a drug that inhibits the aging process. “We have already tested it on ourselves as well as others,” Dr. Bernard Truscott, an animal biologist at Ohio State University said today. He and his partner, geneticist Dr. Garrett Lanier, claim to have a ‘serum’ which, if taken intravenously, slows the aging process at a ratio of five to one. “If you take it at twenty, you’ll still look twenty-one when you’re twenty-five. At thirty, you’ll look, and feel I might add, twenty-two, and so forth,” said Truscott, who also claims he looks younger than his sixty years because he took the drug. The announcement was met with skepticism by most scientists; however, many prominent geneticists and biologists have rushed to Columbus to see for themselves.
- CNN Worldnet News, March 3, 2017
Sheila D’Alosio was livid as she paced back and forth in the laboratory, her hands waving in the air. “Your own grandson! How could you do this?”
Her father sat, an air of serenity on his face. Garrett Lanier stood nearby, arms folded. Truscott sighed. “Sheila, okay, I apologize for taking a chance with Victor, and there was some small risk, I admit. But think about it, sweetheart. Victor will now live a much longer, hopefully productive and healthy life. To say nothing of the fact that this is a huge breakthrough for science. And, Sheila, it worked, dammit, it worked!”
She stared at him coldly. “For science. And it worked. And that’s all that matters to you.” She turned to Lanier. “Garrett, is that the way you feel?”
“Sheila, I, uh . . . ”
Truscott stood up. “Damn! Do you realize what we have here? We have actually slowed the aging process. People can not only live longer now, but stay young as well. Do you understand what that means? Why wouldn’t you want that for your son?”
“I understand that I have a two-year old who’s starting to talk but looks almost like a newborn. I understand that some of your colleagues want to take Victor and examine him. I understand you’ve changed my son into a circus freak.” She shuddered. “Even worse, he’s a human laboratory rat!”
She picked up her purse and made for the door.
Truscott frowned. “Sheila’s stubborn, like her mother. But when she sees how Victor’s life can be so remarkable, and so long, she’ll understand. ”
“LONGEVITY SHOT” APPARENTLY GENUINE
Columbus (AP) – Government researchers working with experts from major institutions of higher learning have confirmed that the “longevity” serum developed by two scientists at Ohio State University actually works. The Food and Drug Administration subsequently announced human testing will commence but warned this could take two years or more. Public demand, however, is expected to speed up the timetable once the benefits of the drug become known.
- USA Today Worldnet Edition, February 4, 2019
Truscott burst into the laboratory. “We’ve got it! The FDA approved the drug!”
“Already?”
“Hell yes! The demand was overwhelming, they had to. They’ve received over ten million pieces of e-mail asking about the drug. Can you believe it? Ten million!”
Lanier got up from his chair. “Bernard, what do we do now?”
“I’ve been giving that some thought. We’ve got the patent so that hurdle’s been crossed. Now comes production and marketing, although I doubt the latter will be much of a problem. Word of mouth will probably suffice.” He paused in thought. “Hmmm, I wonder what we could charge for the stuff. And how about a name?”
“I’ve been thinking about that. I’d like to call it ‘Tempus non Fugit.’”
Truscott stroked his chin. “`Tempus non Fugit.’ ‘Time does not fly.’ Yes. I like it. I like it a lot.”
“So, what’s next?”
“So, we register the name, and then we find a drug company to manufacture it for us. I’ve got a feeling it won’t be too hard to find one . . . ” Both their heads turned as his sentence was interrupted by the incessant beeping of the compu-phone.
“ANTI-AGING” DRUG READY FOR MARKET
Washington (UPI) – Bowing to immense public pressure, the
FDA decided to give the go-ahead for marketing a drug purported to slow the process of aging. The drug, known as “TNF” for Tempus non Fugit,” Latin for “Time Doesn’t Fly,” will be manufactured by the giant conglomerate Pharmacorp, which outbid several firms for the manufacturing rights. Demand is expected to be high.
Washington Post, February 20, 2019