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"I know," I replied, trying to ignore the black, festering scab inside my chest. The scab left behind by Thomas's murder, which I was now starting to realize would never fully heal. Okay, maybe I didn't want to have this conversation. "Let's talk about something else."
Kiran finished off her latest drink and placed the glass on the ground next to her chair. "I vote we talk about how Upton Giles somehow got even hotter this year."
She turned her gaze toward a large wood dining table shaded by a red awning, where Upton was being aggressively courted by Paige, Tiffany, and Amberly. Daniel, Gage, Weston Bright, and Sawyer and Graham Hathaway were hanging with them as well, drinking beer from little brown bottles and starting to get loud. I had to admit, Upton was fun to look at. He laughed at something Amberly said, and the laugh carried throughout the party. It was a throaty, uninhibited laugh. The kind you live to bring forth in any way you can.
He was still laughing when he turned his head and happened to look at me. My body temperature instantly skyrocketed. He narrowed his eyes inquisitively, clearly curious about the interloper in his midst, and leaned over to Gage to whisper in his ear. Gage glanced at me, smirked, and whispered back. I could only imagine what he was saying. No doubt that I was some prudish, penniless farm girl from Podunk, Pennsylvania.
Paige got up from the table and tugged Tiffany away with her, excusing herself to the bathroom. They roped Amberly into joining them as well, probably trying to prevent her from getting any alone
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time with Upton. It seemed there was actual strategy involved in the Upton Game.
"That's it. I'm going in," Taylor said as soon as she saw that Upton was female free. She stood up, straightened her dress, and tossed back her hair. "How do I look? "
"Very Upton worthy," Noelle said with a nod.
"You think?" Taylor was giddy. "Wish me luck."
"Luck!" we all shouted after her, earning an irritated glance, since half the party heard us. Kiran, Noelle, and I all laughed as we sat back in our seats. I hadn't felt so relaxed... ever. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the tangy Caribbean air. A girl could get used to this.
"Okay, I'm getting bored," Kiran said with a yawn. "What do you guys want to do next?"
"We need to shop," Noelle said, crossing her legs at the ankle. "Reed needs some vacationwear."
"Bien sur! I am so in," Kiran said, clapping her hands.
"Ah, but you're forgetting one little problem. Reed has no money," I said.
Noelle flicked a hand. "A minor obstacle."
Yeah. For you, maybe.
"You cannot spend the entire week in jeans and a T-shirt," Kiran said. "Not with the events we have planned."
"We'll figure it out. We always do," Noelle said. She lifted her head and looked across the patio. "Uh-oh. Crash and burn."
"What?" I asked, opening my eyes.
I heard chairs scraping against the ground and looked over to
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see Upton, Graham, and Sawyer all getting up from the table to follow a sullen-looking Taylor around the pool. They were headed in our direction, and I suddenly found myself tugging down on the hem of my dress and sitting up a bit straighter. Noelle saw my preparations and smirked. Great. Now I felt like a total hypocrite. But just because I didn't want Upton and the Hathaways to think I was a slob didn't mean I wanted to win the Upton Game.
Not at all.
"Reed, this is Upton Giles and Sawyer and Graham Hathaway," Taylor said upon arrival, and not at all enthusiastically. "Guys, this is Reed."
"Hi," they all said in unison. Upton and Graham put on bigger smiles than Sawyer.
"May we join you?" Upton asked in a startlingly sexy British accent. My toes actually curled at the sound of his voice.
"Sure," I said.
As the guys pulled over more lounge chairs, I widened my eyes at Noelle. "You never said he was British!" I whispered.
"Oops." She snorted a laugh at my expense.
When I turned around again, Upton was settling into Taylor's vacated chair, right next to mine. My cheeks turned sunburned red. Had he overheard that?
"Graham! Come sit by me," Noelle ordered. "Let's chat."
I glanced at Kiran, who shrugged. Clearly she didn't know what that was about either. Since Upton had appropriated her chair, Taylor was forced to sit with Sawyer off to Upton's left. My heart was bouncing
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around like a ping-pong ball. Of all these girls, he wanted to sit next to me, a milky white troll.
"So, Reed, I hear you're quite the intriguing individual," he said, sitting sideways on his lounge and leaning his thick forearms on his knees. There was a thin, white scar across his left shin. So not entirely perfect.
"Really? How so?" I asked, hoping he wasn't about to bring up the fact that I had almost been murdered . . . twice.
"Well, rumor has it you come from somewhere outside the big five, so that in and of itself is intriguing," he said with a smile. His eyes were even bluer than the ocean crashing behind us.
"The big five?"
"New York, L.A., London, Paris, Sydney," Kiran clarified. "The big five."
"Ah. Too bad for the rest of the world," I replied. "Has Rome been informed?"
Everyone chuckled at my joke, including Upton. In spite of myself, I beamed. He placed one hand on his knee, and I found myself staring at his fingers. No guy I knew had hands that large. They were not teenager hands. They were man hands. The kind of hands you couldn't help imagining running through your hair and down your back and over your skin. . . .
I was definitely starting to understand the appeal of the Upton Game.
"So, Graham, how's your dad doing?" Noelle asked.
"He's fine," Graham replied, kicking back with his legs hanging down on either side of his chair. "Busy."
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"Talking to my dad, from what I overhear," Noelle said.
"What does your dad do, Graham?" I asked, mostly because it forced me to stop staring at Upton, which was starting to get embarrassing.
"He's the dean of students at Drew University," Graham replied.
"So . .. why's he talking to your dad?" Kiran asked Noelle.
"Let's just say Daddy's trying to save the Hathaway family from Jersey," Noelle replied cryptically.
"I happen to like Jersey," Sawyer said, slipping on a pair of black sunglasses.
"You would," Graham joked.
Sawyer ignored him. He pulled a tattered copy of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time from his back pocket and started to read, curling the front cover around the back of the book.
"Well, while I'd love to hear the rest of your opinions on Jersey, I need a drink," Upton said, rising. "Reed, would you like anything?"
Everyone basically froze. The fact that he had singled me out wasn't lost on any of us, least of all Taylor, who sunk down low in her seat.
"Noelle, pass the cake, please," Taylor said, reaching a hand out over Upton's now vacated chair. I swallowed hard as the tray was passed to Kiran, then to me. Before I could even get it to Taylor, she grabbed a nice big chocolate tart and shoved half of it into her mouth. This was not good. I was here to have fun, which meant spending time with my friends, and I couldn't exactly do that if Taylor was jealous and hating me. It was obvious that I was going to have to send Upton a clear signal.
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"Actually, we were just leaving," I said, getting up and dragging Kiran with me.
"We were?"
"Yes. Noelle?" I said pointedly.
"Right." She got up and grabbed her clutch. "We need to go shopping. Reed was not prepared for the tropics."
"So not prepared," I agreed, rolling my eyes. "Taylor? You're coming, right?"
"Sure. Why not?" Taylor said through a mouthful of tart. "There's nothing to do around here anymore."
Noelle linked arms with Taylor and me as Kiran finished off her drink. "Boys, we'll be seeing you," she said.
"I hope s
o," Upton said, looking right at me.
And even though I was so not playing the Upton Game, I liked to think that he was watching me appreciatively from behind as we strode away.
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CHAPTER 6 ON THE BEACH
That night, when I came down off the high of the day's excitement--the private jet, the natural beauty of the island, meeting Upton, shopping with the girls--I came down hard. I felt as if someone had emptied a vat of concrete over my head and let it harden. Exhaustion set in around nine p.m. and the negative thoughts returned with it. Why hadn't Josh called me? Was my relationship with Noelle ever going to be the same? What about the rest of the Billings Girls--the ones who had voted me out of the house? And would it even matter if Easton closed forever? As these questions crowded my mind, all I could think about was crawling into the cushy bed in the Lange family's guest room and passing out until morning.
Unfortunately, nine p.m. was the exact moment the guests started to arrive at the Langes'. Of course, Noelle had to host the first no-adults-allowed party of the vacation, thereby establishing herself as the female in charge. And I, of course, was so not in the mood.
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I heard Kiran squeal her hellos as she joined the revelers in the great room at the center of the house. Knowing that there was no way Noelle was going to let me go without a fight, I pulled on a sweatshirt and slipped down the hallway, waiting until she went into the kitchen to deal with some sort of snack food snafu. Then I slunk along the wall and out the patio doors, quickly racing down the flagstone steps to the beach.
The moment I walked out onto the sand, my phone beeped, indicating I had a text. My heart jumped into my throat, and I fumbled in my pocket for the phone. There was no doubt in my mind that the text was from Josh. It had to be. He had gone radio silent for far too long. Was Ivy okay? Had she been released from the hospital? Did he have something more to say to me about us?
But the moment I saw the message, the anticipation died. It wasn't from Josh. It was a photo message from Constance Talbot, one of my best friends at Easton. A pic of her and Kiki Rosen taken backstage the night before at this huge pop music fest called Jingle Ball, which Constance's father had some part in promoting. Their tongues were stuck out at the camera, and Chris Daughtry was in the background, looking at them like they were a couple of drunken groupies.
Which they probably were.
The caption read: you wish you were here. I dropped the phone back into my pocket, disappointed. Why hadn't Josh contacted me yet? Didn't he want to talk to me?
I kicked off my flip-flops and stood there, digging my toes into the soft, cool sand. Taking a deep breath, I looked out at the vast,
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seemingly unending ocean. I listened to the crashing of the waves and waited for all the Zen sensory experiences to calm me. Waited for some kind of divine sign that everything was going to be okay.
"It's a bit intense in there, isn't it?"
I jumped at the nearness of the voice. Upton's voice. He had snuck up behind me without a sound.
"Intense?" I asked, turning around to face him. My breath caught at the sight of his utter perfection in a cable-knit white sweater and jeans. A. Mazing.
"Crazy .. . loud . .. packed out," he explained with a smile.
"I guess."
I turned back toward the ocean to prevent myself from drooling on his feet. Also because I had to absorb the fact that he had seen me leave. That he had come after me. That instead of partying with his friends on the first night of vacation, he had chosen to be alone on the beach. With me.
"Anything I can help with?" he asked, stepping up next to me.
"Help? Do I look like I need help?" I asked.
"No. Of course not. Sorry," he said with a quick laugh. "But you did look like you were having deep thoughts."
"Are deep thoughts bad where you're from?" I challenged, arching my eyebrows.
"Never," he replied. "We're very deep in England. But in St. Barths, there are no deep thoughts allowed. Did Noelle not inform you of this rule? Because if not, I should admonish her straight away."
I laughed and looked down at my bare feet. "Actually, she did say something similar."
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"Good," he said with a nod, looking me up and down. "So, did you girls have fun at the shops?"
"It was okay," I replied. "I didn't buy anything."
"Because nothing could do you justice, I suppose," he joked.
I laughed so loudly I had to cover my mouth with both hands to hide my embarrassment. "Sorry, but wow. They were right about you."
Upton raised one eyebrow. "They? Intriguing. Who might they be and what have they been saying about me? "
"Just that you kind of... get around," I said, drawing a circle in the sand with my toe.
Upton tilted back his head and laughed. I couldn't help but grin. He had such an uninhibited laugh. The way a laugh should be.
"Well. That was blunt," he said, his blue eyes sparkling.
"Sorry, but lately I've come to believe in absolute transparency," I told him, lifting one shoulder.
"Have you now?" he asked, crossing his arms over his perfect chest.
"Believe me, if you'd seen what I've seen, you would too," I assured him.
Upton narrowed his eyes, sizing me up. "You have a dark past, don't you, Reed Brennan?"
I swallowed down a sudden lump in my throat. My eyes wandered back to the ocean. "You could say that."
"Well, then I consider it my duty to make you forget all about it," he said. "At least for tonight."
"Oh, really? And how, exactly, do you intend to do that?" I asked.
"Like this."
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In one swift motion, Upton managed to sweep my legs out from under me and send me sprawling into the sand. I let out a surprised shout as my butt hit the ground.
"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded, laughing as I sat up.
"Getting you to relax," he replied.
He sat down next to me, so close our knees brushed. A warm rush of excitement crashed through me. This was it. This was when the player made his move. Part of me knew I should storm off, offended that he'd think I was this easy, but I couldn't make myself move. Then, he lay down and looked up at the sky.
"Come on. Down you go," he said, tugging on my arm.
"If you wanted me to lay down, you could have just asked," I said, moving my head around on the lumpy sand until I found a comfortable position. "You didn't have to sweep the legs."
"Right. If I had said 'lay down,' do you really think you would have?" he asked dubiously, turning his head to face me.
I blinked. "You have a point."
So when the hell was he going to try to kiss me already?
"All right then, lookup," Upton said.
Okay. I guessed he wasn't. Feeling embarrassed, I did as I was told. The sky was completely jammed with so many stars that there was actually more light than darkness.
"Wow," I said breathlessly.
He smiled. "Try to think dark thoughts while looking at that."
We lay there in silence for a moment, and I started to feel calm in a way I hadn't felt in days. I let the feeling wash over me and sink
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in. The sounds of the party behind us--the shouting, the laughter, the music--slowly faded into a soft hum.
"When I was a boy, my mum and I used to camp out in the yard under the stars. She made up loads of stories about all the other planets and the goings-on in their unique alien societies."
"Sounds like fun," I said.
"It was. She's got a bloody fantastic imagination. Should have been a writer."
A boy who loves his mother Cute.
"Tell me one," I demanded.
Upton laughed. "It's been ages. I'm not sure I could remember."
"Yes, you can. You wouldn't have brought it up otherwise," I teased.
Upton considered this for a moment, then he frowned. "All right, you've caught me out," he said. "I'll t
ell you my favorite one. It's about these tiny little creatures called Puffnicks. They live on the planet Puff."
I laughed, shimmying from side to side to get more comfortable. "Puffnicks. They sound cute."
"Oh, but they're not cute. They're actually fierce little buggers. With fangs," Upton replied. "And this story is about the year they went to war with the Bangrots."
"Oooh, I love a good Puffnick-Bangrot war story," I said, folding my hands over my stomach. "Let's hear it."
"Our story begins on one dark, stormy night in the village of Jangle, when the sole Bangrot lookout spied the mast of a vast ship on the horizon. ..."
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I sighed and settled into listen to Upton's strange childhood story. His melodic voice was lulling, soothing, and I soon found myself drifting into the dream world he created all around us. He didn't try anything, which was intriguing. Upton was not only the hottest guy on the planet, but he was also smart. Funny. Creative. Uninhibited. And he made me forget all about Easton and Billings and Sabine and Ivy and Josh. We spent the entire night out there on the beach, telling stories and laughing, and I didn't think about my "dark past" once. By the time he walked me back up to Noelle's house, the party was winding down, and I was no longer encased in cement. Instead, I felt as though I'd been wrapped in cashmere for the past few hours.
As I made my way up to the Langes' guest room and shut the door behind me, I realized that if I had been looking for an island fling, Upton would have been perfection. But, staring out the window at the stars sparkling in the Caribbean sky, I reminded myself that I was not. No romance for me. Not for a while. Not even for Fun Island Reed. I was simply not ready.